Eh, had some free time, so I wanted to yell at someone.
I understand you were going for that whole, "dark and dreary apocalypse war intro" thing, but it's failing pretty badly. For one, it's not long enough. Now, there is a fine line between enough and too much, but it wouldn't hurt to include three panels of exposition.
Plus, the whole first panel ruins any sadness you were aiming for, and instead makes people laugh out loud. Check that, retch. The sky is horrible. I have a feeling unless you live at the South pole or something, you haven't forgotten what a sunny sky looks like. IT's blue. With a lot of white mixed in, creating not a heavily saturated normal blue, or a "burn-your-eyes-out" light blue/teal, but something no one really bothers to look at because it doesn't grab for their attention.
Plus, would it really be so hard to fill in that spot next to the castle?
As mentiond, the holes in the castle suck. If anything, they should be more rounded, and look like there is in actuality, something behind them.
And for some rerason that castle looks very good for one that apparently was besieged, or at least the illusion of doing so.
There are major problems with the second panel as well, but the only one I think that wasn't covered was that a whole ship was disabled by the little green airplane, considering BRonto Burts can't do anything.
Last, work out the problems between the clashing viewpoints.
So ends a stupid and pointless rant. Good day. |