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The Lava Level Lifeguard · 01-23-2006, 12:28 AM

Hi, I'm new here (mostly). And um, the whole lava lifeguard thing...should ya happen ta fall in, just SCREAM (I s'pose that part would come naturally) and I'll be there. Well, that is to say, the very long industrial steel pole which I extend to your general vicinity will be there. And if you have the presence of mind ta grab it as ya melt, I mean wow, that's somethin', but if ya don't, which is quite often the case, I will kindly return to my high chair, thank you and have a nice day and nuh-uh, ain't nobody see nothin'.

And oh, one more thing:
In order to receive my lava level lifeguard permit I was flown out to Hawaii, where I was directed to attend a special luau. At said luau I was ordered to army-crawl over a bed of hot coals (the purpose of which, given my profession, I understand) afterwhich I was ordered to gulp 5 pints of pineapple juice and limbo under a two foot high bamboo stick to bad music (the purpose of which, given my profession, I do NOT understand.) By the way I think the music was that boom boom acka lacka boom boom walk the dinosaur crap. Weird, huh?

01-23-2006, 12:28 AM	#1
The Lava Level Lifeguard Junior Member Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: BrinkaWillow, Florida Posts: 26 Thanks: 0 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts Points: 2,093.00 Bank: 500.00 Total Points: 2,593.00 Donate	Hi I'm new and hate my job Hi, I'm new here (mostly). And um, the whole lava lifeguard thing...should ya happen ta fall in, just SCREAM (I s'pose that part would come naturally) and I'll be there. Well, that is to say, the very long industrial steel pole which I extend to your general vicinity will be there. And if you have the presence of mind ta grab it as ya melt, I mean wow, that's somethin', but if ya don't, which is quite often the case, I will kindly return to my high chair, thank you and have a nice day and nuh-uh, ain't nobody see nothin'. And oh, one more thing: In order to receive my lava level lifeguard permit I was flown out to Hawaii, where I was directed to attend a special luau. At said luau I was ordered to army-crawl over a bed of hot coals (the purpose of which, given my profession, I understand) afterwhich I was ordered to gulp 5 pints of pineapple juice and limbo under a two foot high bamboo stick to bad music (the purpose of which, given my profession, I do NOT understand.) By the way I think the music was that boom boom acka lacka boom boom walk the dinosaur crap. Weird, huh?