[Nabooru98]

This is a humor/parody I wrote with a friend...it's Ocarina of Time starring Ricky Martin as Link. Just read it...please...reviews are welcome...so are flames....thanks.

Disclaimers: Don’t sue us, no seriously, don’t sue us, it’s not our fault we make fun of you… you’re funny. An’ ugly too. An’ we love you Michael.

Prod: *talks into intercom* Winter… Winter get in here I need to speak with you…

Winter: Uh, yeah?

Prod: Oh, there you are now listen to me… Hyrule needs another pop star to save our waning record sales, I need you to bring before me the boy with out a producer… Will thy do it? Yes? No?

Winter: Sure. *sweet smile* *mumbles* Like I have a choice.

Prod: What was that?

Winter: I said “Good choice, you picked the right girl.”

Prod: Before you go… Dost thou likest my mustache? Yes? No?

Winter: GOD, get a life. *runs off*

*In Ricky’s House*

Winter: Hey! Look! Listen! Watch out! Ricky, I’m your biggest non-creepy fan! So get up and sign my water damaged journal!

Sleeping form: zzzzzzzz

Winter: Go, go, go! Ale, ale ale!

Sleeping form: Huh?

Winter: YAY it’s…uhm…

MJ: HI! I’m Michael Jackson!! ^___^

Winter: YOU’RE NOT RICKY MARTIN!

MJ: NOPE! I’m Michael Jackson! How you doin’?

Winter: >< Where’s Mr. Martinnnnnnnnn?

MJ: I dunno, you want me ‘t go look for him, I could go get my monkey, Bubbles, he lives at the zoo with allllllllll my animal friends!!

Winter: I need Ricky Martin HERE, NOW so he can autograph my water-damaged journal that I got for a dollar on Amazon.com!! AND so he can save Hyrule!

MJ: Autographs? I LOVE sighing autographs! *grabs note book* “To my hallucination, with love Michael Jackson.” HERE YOU GO! ^________^

Winter: O.O WHAT DID YOU DO TO HIS FACE?!!

MJ: I made it better with my name! Now what did you want me and Bubbles to save again?

Winter: TT_TT And here I thought I was gonna get to travel through Hyrule with a Latin pop star, but NOOOOOO I get MJ! And my journal is totally ruined >< But Hyrule needs saving, and I suppose “Thriller” IS better than “Hit Me Baby One More Time”…Let’s go! We have to see the producer! Maybe you can help me talk him into redoing the She Bangs video.

MJ: Your journal’s not totally ruined it’s only a little water damage… But YEAH! Off we go! *Moonwalks out door*

* MJ climbs down ladder*

Bubbles: Ooo ooo eee!!!

MJ: I’m going to see the producer tree, he’s gunna give me a new brain, weee!

Bubbles: OOOOOOOoooo……eee!

MJ: Buh-bye!!

Winter: WAIT FOR ME YOU BUM OF A SINGER! *runs over* You have to get a SWORD and a SHIELD first. That producer can get scary when you ask him to remake a video too many times. And he’s not happy with me. *recalls all the flames from different pen names she wrote regarding the She Bangs video*

MJ: I don’t need a sword, I got my magic microphone, an’ I don’t need a shield I got my silver glove! OW!

Winter: ………………………………………………Fine. *thinks* Like I care if you get devoured by Gohma.

MJ: But first I need to go get them through a hole in the wall, and run past the rolling bolder to the magic chest where I keep them next to my large collection of Care Bears! YAY!

Winter: >< I hate my job.

*later in the Producer’s Office*

Winter: HEYYYYYYY WHAT’S THE BIG IDEA?!!!

MJ: Hiiiiiii!

Prod: Welcome Ricky, I need you to…

Winter: You BLIND? That is NOT Ricky Martin. I want my money back.

MJ: I love all the people of the world!

Winter: >< You make the She Bangs video look like Casablanca.

MJ: Thank you!

Prod: So… who is he? Yes? No?

Winter: He’s MICHAEL JACKSON, AND –NO- HE’S –NOT- RICKY MARTIN!

Prod: Well, then, Michael, you must enter me to fight the spiders! Will you do it? Yes? No?

MJ: Okaaaaay!

Winter: No, STUPID. That’s IMPOSSIBLE. Producer, what was in your Sprite last night? You didn’t get Safeway brand, did you? That stuff always makes you high…I swear you were on it when you did the----

Prod: If you destroy all the parasites I willst givist thou yon emerald of Coke-iri. *opens mouth*

MJ: YAAAAY! *Tries to get head into Prod’s mouth*

Winter: AAAAAAAHHHHHH GOOD LORD!! STOP IT!! AAAHHHHHHH!! I’M GONNA CALL SECURITY!!!

Prod: Well done, Ricky! Here is the Emerald Coke I promised you. Now I die! *falls over*

MJ: NOOOOO-oh! A soda! *drinks*

Winter: DON’T DRINK THE COKE-IRI EMERALD AAAAHHHHHH!!

MJ: MMMMM! That was good! Yaaay! I like soda!

Winter: >< You –drank- the source of our LIFE.

MJ: YAAY!

Winter: No you stupid- that’s a bad… *spots the Emerald on the desk* << >> *decides NOT to tell him. *yoink!* Ok, if that stupid producer had lived another second, he’d have told you that you need to go find the Princess, because she’ll-----

MJ: I don’t wanna go! I like it ‘ere there’s children! *awkward pause* An’ treeeeeeeeees!

Winter: Is this gonna be like all those spoofs I’ve seen on Comedy Central?

MJ: Maybe, but I like the… *runs*

Ricky: * runs by with bat*

Winter: O.O RICKY MARTIN!

MJ: *being hit* Ow! No! Stop it! Whyyyyyy?

Ricky: I’m fighting for children! Huzza!

Winter: OMIGOSH OMIGOSH OMIGOSH THE LATINO GOD HIMSELF. *bounces around* Ok. I’d better plot a way to make him redo the She Bangs video once Michael is dead. *sits down on a stump to think*

Ricky: I know I’m pretty stunning aren’t I? * mirror* Yeah! *smiles*

Winter: *_* Yeah. Really.

Ricky: Now, what you want me to do?

Winter: Mr. Martin, I’ve been sent to ask you to save Hyrule from the evil Ganondorf, and redo the She Bangs video!

Ricky: *gazing into mirror* Okay, babe.

Winter: O_O *_* *thinks* Maybe I’ll get to be in it! *steps over to the beaten-up Michael* Seeya.

MJ: Yaaa-ow-ow-ow!

*NOW IN THE TUNNEL*

Saria: Hey, Ricky…

Ricky: Yo.

Saria: *with sparkles and bubbles* You’re leaving, aren’t you?

Ricky: you know it, but don’t worry, you can sign up for the fan club. *winks*

Winter: I’m member #6!

MJ: I’m numbah 126!

Winter: RICKY IT’S A MONSTER KILL IT KILL IT KILL IT!!

Ricky: For you, any thing *smiles*

MJ: uh-oh…

Ricky: *beats MJ*

Winter: *waves RM flag*

Saria: O.O

MJ: Wait, no, stop! *falls off bridge* Buuuuuuuuuubbllllllllllesssssssssss!!!!! *boompf*

Ricky: *smiles* Hey.

Winter: Is it dead?

Ricky: You know it, babe.

Winter: Yay! Okie, we’re off to see the Princess!

Saria: No, wait! Ricky, you’re going to need this. *gives him a mic*

Ricky: Hey, thanks, babe. *winks AND smiles*

Winter: *swoon* I’nt he GORGEOUS?

Saria: …Ok…Ricky…I hope you’ll think of me when you sing “She Bangs”.

Winter: AUGH.

*OUT SIDE*

Owl: WAIT!

Winter: What nowwwww?

Ricky: Yo.

Owl: Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah. Got it?

Ricky: huh? Okay. *smiles*

Owl: *faints*

Winter: Oh wow. Uhhh…Ok, the castle is over this way…*point*

Ricky: Go go go.

Winter: ^_______^ Ale, ale ale!

*Hyrule castle*

Ricky: *signing autographs for the guards* Thank you, thank you, I know, love ya.

Winter: *SWOON* *feeling faint* Okie, good show. I’ve never seen LLVL played better. Well, we oughta get going. The Princess SHOULD be over here.

Ricky: Okay.

Zelda: *looking into window*

Ricky: Yo. S’up?

Zelda: *turns around* Oh! Whoo aw woo? Iz dat a producaw?

Ricky: Yes, yes it is. Right?

Winter: Indeedy.

Zelda: I had dis dweeeeeeeeeeeeem dat a latin pop staw wiz a producaw wooood come to see me heeeeeer an’ sumthin’ wud happen, I don’t ‘member my dweeems so gud.

Winter: …And I thought this would be easy from here.

Ricky: It’s okay, babe, I have this affect on people.

Winter: Ok, well…God, I haven’t TOUCHED my N64 for YEARS…erm…who are you spying on, Princess?

Zelda: I wuz loooooookiiiiiiinnnnng at dat vewy bad man in der, he’z all creepie an’ I hate his stupid head! You see ‘eeeeem?

Ricky: *looking in mirror* Yup.

Winter: No, Mr. Martin, not that. Look in the window. At THAT guy. He’s the bad guy.

Ricky: Yeah, yeah… *kisses mirror*

Winter: Oh well. *sigh* Okie, Princess, we…don’t know ANYTHING about the Triforce or whatever, please explain. Like, now.

Zelda: OKAY!!!!!! Wonce looooooooooooonge time ago in galaxy faw away, Luke Skywaka make aaaallll da land in High-rule. Den, Han Solo, Make ALLLLLLL da sky an’ the air an’ da wain an’ alllw da will puppies an’ da chicken, which are fun ta fwo but ifn you heet wone it make---

*two days later*

Zelda: An’ dat’s when Batman pulls ‘im oudda-da car an’ seeez-

Winter: *dead*

Ricky: *dancing about*

Zelds: …“Da twiforce make aww da people who touch it all supah powah-fo like Goku, I like eem ee’s all neat, but wach out fow da stupid head! Here iz a ladda I make so you can go to Deth mountan! BYE BYE!!!!!

Winter: *dead*

Ricky: Wild. *takes letter.*

Winter: *revived!* Darn. << >> Ok. Let’s go to the mountain and away from this child. *flies towards the exit*

Impa: You guys are heading out on a big, new adventure, huh?

Winter: Yeah, and I get to travel with Ricky Martin!! ^___^

Ricky: It’s cool, ain’t it?

Winter: *hearts in eyes* Yes, yes. It isssssssss.

Impa: I never got into Latin pop.

Winter: O.O

Ricky: Hey, it’s cool… *forced smile*

Winter: *sigh* But LLVL is just so beautiful, how can anyone resist the dramatic opening? Oh, it’s just so----

Impa: …Fangirls.

Winter: AM NOT.

Ricky: *pulls out mic* Yeah! *dances*

Impa: Ok, Mr. Superstar, can you memorize these lyrics? I saw you mess up once.

Ricky: *hides tape recorder* Okay. *presses play* “I saw you mess up once.” How’s that? *smiles*

Zelda: EEEEEEEET wuuuuuuuz beauuuuuuutiiiiifuuuuuw!!!!

Impa: NO, your hit single! The Cup of Life! *whistles it*

Ricky: GO GO GO! ALE ALE ALE!

Winter: *SWOONS*

Impa: Good. Now play this whenever you see a fangirl, she’ll let you by.

Ricky: Okay. *smiles*

Impa: *leads them out of the castle*


Ok, that's chapter 1. I'll post more when I get a few responses...