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The Lava Level Lifeguard · 02-05-2006, 07:02 PM

Hi I'm new and hate my job.

So anyways, last summer, I took my girlfriend Carla on a date to the county fair and where do we go first? Do ya really have ta ask? Well duh, we go to the freakshow booths, of course! So we're in there having a nice romantic time goggling at various freaks of nature, ya know? But when I saw the fat lady, she looked a little too fat to be true (or faux fat, as I believe the term goes) and I thought, "Nuh-uh, this can't be real, it's just special effects and stuff." So I demanded my money back forthwith.

But they wouldn't give me my money back! They just wouldn't! And they kept on and on with their assertions that said fat lady was in fact genuine. So I said "Mmmkay, if she's real, let me go in there and pinch her on the cheek to make sure she's not a dummy, or just a big pile of pudding sculpted to give off the illusion that I am in fact viewing a fat lady." And much to my surprise the guy working there says, "Yes, okay, pinch her! (face or elsewhere, as per option)"

So I turned to Carla and I said: "Hear that? They say it's okay for YOU to go in there and pinch the fat lady on her cheek!" So Carla just sighed, and she went in there and pinched the fat lady, and I must testify that the fat lady did indeed actually mutter "Ouch." And I said to Carla upon her return: "Know what, you're a real trooper, and that's why I love ya, and oh yes by the way one more thing you are NEVER TOUCHING ME WITH THAT HAND AGAIN."

So after that our relationship got weird and we broke up. Sad, huh?

02-05-2006, 07:02 PM	#1
The Lava Level Lifeguard Junior Member Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: BrinkaWillow, Florida Posts: 26 Thanks: 0 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts Points: 2,166.00 Bank: 500.00 Total Points: 2,666.00 Donate	Back when I was her baby and stuff. Hi I'm new and hate my job. So anyways, last summer, I took my girlfriend Carla on a date to the county fair and where do we go first? Do ya really have ta ask? Well duh, we go to the freakshow booths, of course! So we're in there having a nice romantic time goggling at various freaks of nature, ya know? But when I saw the fat lady, she looked a little too fat to be true (or faux fat, as I believe the term goes) and I thought, "Nuh-uh, this can't be real, it's just special effects and stuff." So I demanded my money back forthwith. But they wouldn't give me my money back! They just wouldn't! And they kept on and on with their assertions that said fat lady was in fact genuine. So I said "Mmmkay, if she's real, let me go in there and pinch her on the cheek to make sure she's not a dummy, or just a big pile of pudding sculpted to give off the illusion that I am in fact viewing a fat lady." And much to my surprise the guy working there says, "Yes, okay, pinch her! (face or elsewhere, as per option)" So I turned to Carla and I said: "Hear that? They say it's okay for YOU to go in there and pinch the fat lady on her cheek!" So Carla just sighed, and she went in there and pinched the fat lady, and I must testify that the fat lady did indeed actually mutter "Ouch." And I said to Carla upon her return: "Know what, you're a real trooper, and that's why I love ya, and oh yes by the way one more thing you are NEVER TOUCHING ME WITH THAT HAND AGAIN." So after that our relationship got weird and we broke up. Sad, huh?