[Codiekitty]

Early one morning, on a bright, sunny weekend, a woman walks up to the register...

Woman: Does McDonald's value single customers?

Me: [smiling brightly, not seeing what this is about] Uh, sure! We value all of our customers.

Woman: Because I have a two for one coupon on Egg McMuffins. These coupons are for couples.

Me: Uh, yeah, I've seen some couples use that coupon and share. But I've also seen some single people use it and eat both egg mcmuffins.

W: There is no conceivable way a single person could use this coupon.

M: ...or you could eat one, and take the other one home for later.

W: This coupon is for couples. I want half off a single McMuffin.

M: Look, the reason McDonalds has coupons is to encourage people to buy more food. The savings per sandwich to you for a "buy one at half price" and a "buy one, get one free" deal are the same, but McDonalds makes twice as much money on one transaction for the latter. Also, these promotions go in waves; sometimes, there *are* coupons for half off.

W: Give me half off a single McMuffin.

M: I couldn't do that even if I wanted to; the register has all prices and current coupons preset.

W: [blank stare]

M: Do you want me to ring you up something or not?

W: I want one McMuffin, for half off. McDonald's doesn't value single people.


At that point, I handed her off to a manager.



Then there was the beenie baby promotion. For some reason, people went nuts over this. There eventually was a limit of so many beenie babies you could buy in the drive through, causing some people to just loop around the store.

Anyway, it was possible to get them in a kid's meal, or buy one separately (for a dollar, I think).

Anyway, so a family with the grandmother had the old woman order.

She wanted one beenie baby with a kid's meal, and one extra beenie baby. As usual, the one for the kid's meal was put in the kid's meal bag, with the food, and the other one was put on the tray.

Old Woman: [sees the one beenie baby on the tray] I ordered two beenie babies.

Me: That's right, the one for the kid's meal, and the extra one.

OW: But there's only one.

M: I put the one for the kid's meal in the kid's meal bag; the other's on the tray.

OW: But there's only one on the tray.

M: The other is in the bag on the tray.

OW: [picks up the bag and looks in it] Okay, where's the other one?

M: On the tray.

OW: [looks at the tray] Okay, but where's the other one?

M: Uh, it's in your hand.

OW: There's only one in my hand.

M: ...and there's another on the tray.

OW: There's only one on the tray!

Eventually, either her son or son in law pulled her away from the counter.

Later Post, during a time when the poster worked as a pizza delivery man:

But, anyway, one day I had to deliver a pizza to a trailer, and a kid answered the door.

Him: Uh, my dad's asleep.

Me: You don't have any money for the pizza?

H: My dad has it all.

Me: You can't wake him up? [And thinking, "Why would you order a pizza and then go to sleep? Or if the kid ordered it, if he knew he couldn't pay for it.]

He goes off for about 10 minutes. When he comes back..

H: He's passed out drunk.


So I told him that I wouldn't be able to give him the pizza but we'd probably keep it at the place.

I had another delivery to make, so I did that, then went back to HQ and told them what happened. The manager seemed bemused; I'm not sure if he totally believed me, but there's no logical reason to lie. No person in the world is so lazy to shirk delivering a pizza -- and, for the most part (if their orders don't get repeatedly @#%$ up*), pizza customers are a lot happier than, say, McDonald's customers. They're waiting at home, which is more relaxing and convenient. They already placed their order, so there's not much more interaction. And even when they made up their mind on their order, they were in the comfort of their own home, not corralled in a line, possibly with screaming kids, having to read a menu that requires awkward tilting of the head, and maybe little time to decide.

So, you generally wouldn't even want to shirk delivering a pizza to get out of dealing with customers.

Anyway, they put the pizza on a counter, and I went out on another delivery.

Sometime later, they told me that they got another call from the same number, and the person was angry that they didn't get their pizza, even though a delivery was attempted, and it was their fault they didn't get it.

So, they sent another guy out to deliver it.

And then he comes back and tells the same story -- the kid says he has no money, and his dad is passed out drunk.

Where are these lemmings going? The Super Nintendo Super Shire! Hop in line and follow them there!