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DELICIOUS POISON · 04-11-2007, 03:30 AM

I would prefer you didn't all decide this was a free market. Something like this hardly deserves a point donation. If you were writing short stories, or even a paragraph or two, I would understand the request of donations - but even Ace started off with his topic as an artistic pursuit. I don't want this forum to fill up with "I'll do such and such trivial thing for VB points" topics.

At least try being more descriptive. Here's an example of how Spritedude could have been done:

------------------------------------------------

The rich fragrance of butter and salt rose steadily from the box, as little Benny clutched it to his chest. He could hardly believe that his mother would let him have his very own box of popcorn.

"After all, it's so huge!" Benny marvelled as he wandered mindlessly from the theater lobby.

It was then, much too late, that he realized he had lost his mother. Looking around, he didn't even recognize this wing of the vast theater complex. The shadows of the tall posters and cardboard figures seemed to loom over him. It was then, that the boy heard the muted sound of footfalls upon carpet.

"W-What was that? Who.. Who's there?!" he nervously stammered, realizing he was not alone. He whirled around, and was shocked to find a tall, oppressive figure nearly upon him!

Whump! Benny fell backwards hard as the stranger pushed him down. He looked up, directly into his assailant's cold visage. The man's gleaming eyes, so horrible and pixelated, seemed to tear through Benny's frail form. Directly into his tiny, pounding heart. They filled him with a stronger fear, a need for flight!

...Watching the small child flee in terror, the corner of Spritedude's mouth curled up in a vicious sneer. The boy had left something on the ground. Kneeling, he reached down to grasp a crumpled popcorn-box.

04-11-2007, 03:30 AM	#5
DELICIOUS POISON Retro Nintendo Supermod Art & Literature Mod Metroid Mod Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: I rub my tilde all over your asterisk Gender: Posts: 16,996 Thanks: 581 Thanked 1,821 Times in 895 Posts Points: 19,192.56 Bank: 5,044,384.13 Total Points: 5,063,576.69 Donate	I would prefer you didn't all decide this was a free market. Something like this hardly deserves a point donation. If you were writing short stories, or even a paragraph or two, I would understand the request of donations - but even Ace started off with his topic as an artistic pursuit. I don't want this forum to fill up with "I'll do such and such trivial thing for VB points" topics. At least try being more descriptive. Here's an example of how Spritedude could have been done: ------------------------------------------------ The rich fragrance of butter and salt rose steadily from the box, as little Benny clutched it to his chest. He could hardly believe that his mother would let him have his very own box of popcorn. "After all, it's so huge!" Benny marvelled as he wandered mindlessly from the theater lobby. It was then, much too late, that he realized he had lost his mother. Looking around, he didn't even recognize this wing of the vast theater complex. The shadows of the tall posters and cardboard figures seemed to loom over him. It was then, that the boy heard the muted sound of footfalls upon carpet. "W-What was that? Who.. Who's there?!" he nervously stammered, realizing he was not alone. He whirled around, and was shocked to find a tall, oppressive figure nearly upon him! Whump! Benny fell backwards hard as the stranger pushed him down. He looked up, directly into his assailant's cold visage. The man's gleaming eyes, so horrible and pixelated, seemed to tear through Benny's frail form. Directly into his tiny, pounding heart. They filled him with a stronger fear, a need for flight! ...Watching the small child flee in terror, the corner of Spritedude's mouth curled up in a vicious sneer. The boy had left something on the ground. Kneeling, he reached down to grasp a crumpled popcorn-box. Last edited by GRENTLEMEN; 04-11-2007 at 04:18 AM.