| #7. Get stuck in traffic for five hours with a bunch of arguing kids in the back seat and your wife sitting next to you who you know is cheating on you, but you haven't said anything yet because she's having an affair with your mother. Then the kid who had all that food before leaving has bad diarrhea all over the back seat and one of the other kids, but you are still stuck in traffic, so you try to get some napkins from the glove box, but they're all gone because your best friend used them all yesterday when they were getting drunk telling you about their latest job they lost. So you have to go out of the car and find a place that's open, but it's a holiday so nothing is open, and you forgot about that fact which makes you feel like a jackass. So you keep driving until you reach your destination, which is your uncle's house where your family is gathering. There you are forced through endless home videos in a hot room, with many people's cigarette smoke and body heat driving you over the edge until you go out for some air, head over to a bar, get drunk, and end up shacking up with a Polynesian hooker who took your left kidney with her. |