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**Wyborn** · 11-20-2007, 05:04 PM

Hm. You certainly didn't make it worse, but if you really want to improve it then write it out in panel form kind of like I did. Take the actual comics and describe, separately, what's in each panel.

11-20-2007, 05:04 PM	#18
Wyborn Zelda Mod Join Date: Jun 2000 Location: All over the place Gender: Posts: 12,326 Thanks: 86 Thanked 439 Times in 269 Posts Points: 16,894.94 Bank: 82,155.51 Total Points: 99,050.45 Donate	Hm. You certainly didn't make it worse, but if you really want to improve it then write it out in panel form kind of like I did. Take the actual comics and describe, separately, what's in each panel.