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Old 05-05-2008, 10:28 AM   #12
Cosmonautical
 
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Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: I rub my tilde all over your asterisk
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It's nice to see someone in this forum actually drawing their comics instead of just using modded sprites. Keep practicing, it'll get better. I remember how hard it used to be to draw with a mouse when I started out with Mario Paint, so I believe it took 4 hours. Make some more, and try your best - watching yourself improve is pretty cool. Sometimes you just need to push.

As a rule, don't put the taller character's speech above the other character's just because he's tall. The reader will always read the top one first. So, the top speech bubble should be the one that comes sooner in the conversation.

Also: Like Dylan said, don't leave little fragments. This is especially visible in frame 2. You also didn't fix up the broken border line in this frame. I know that if I worked on something for 4 hours, I wouldn't show it to anyone without taking care of any obvious mistakes like that one. Try to do the little touch-ups that it needs, next time.

With the conversation: Doing pretty good, here. The insults are slightly amusing, but spend more time trying to think of the most effective way to say what you want. "Good. Go away." could be changed to many things. Preferably, it would be something that puts a stronger spin on the other character's words. There's a thousand ways to play that one, likely many better than any of the suggestions I'd make right now.

Might want to change that name to "Johnny" or something else. If you don't, people will assume you've misspelled it.

I hope you don't mind the criticism, I only offer it to help you improve. You're welcome to post your comics or drawings in the Art and Lit forum I mod, anytime. Don't take Dylan's words too badly. He just wants to help get you on your feet, and I'm sure he'd be happy to have more activity in here as well.

Last edited by Cosmonautical; 05-05-2008 at 10:46 AM.
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