Pikmin 1 1/2

[MC Mushi Mo]

Inspired by a story in the OG board. Credit goes to Masamune, John Tagatchi, and tazy-10 for pretty much writing the first chapter. I will post the second and third chapters after I get some feed-back about the first chapter.
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Wulfmin watched as the strange Onion lifted off, leaving him and all his comrades behind. Onion wasn’t the right word, but Wulfmin had been exposed to many things these past months, none of which had names in the language of his people. Something called an Olimar had appeared, and immediately assumed the role of alpha pikmin. It was so strong that none of the other pikmin even considered challenging it.

Under the Olimar’s rule, the pikmin population grew to vast numbers, and its intelligence gave them the ability to fight off their predators. It was amazing the things they could accomplish under his guidance. Even an emperor bulbax could be killed with the Olimar leading them.

Wulfmin himself was a red pikmin, proud of his large white petals. He had been plucked from the ground as a leaf and left in his Onion as a reserve unit, only called to action in the battle against emperor bulbax. He never knew why the Olimar and the bulbax were fighting, but Wulfmin was loyal, and attacked as fiercely as the other pikmin.

After the long battle, Wulfmin was granted the honor of drinking sweet honey nectar as a reward for his service. Since that day, he was a vital part of the Olimar’s workforce, for the short time the Olimar remained.

The Olimar was gone, now. He had abandoned the pikmin as soon as his work on their planet was done. He climbed into the Onion he had arrived in, and vanished into the sky. The pikmin were again without an alpha to guide them. Wulfmin knew already that they were doomed to return to the old ways of being chased and eaten, their species only barely holding on to survival.

As the Onion disappeared behind a cloud, Wulfmin decided that he could not let this happen. If nectar could turn a leaf pikmin into a flower pikmin, tripling its strength, speed, and intelligence, then perhaps there was a type of nectar that could make a pikmin into an alpha pikmin like the Olimar.

He could almost sense that the families of bulbax and other predators nearby were also watching the Olimar fly away. In his mind, he heard their snarls and saw their gritted, hungry teeth.

Wulfmin decided that moment that he would gather up a few of his friends and find the nectar that would save the pikmin species.
Unfortunately for Wulfmin, many were unwilling. They reasoned that it would be much safer to simply hide in the Onions until the day foretold by the dandelion seeds as they flew across the sky in patterns that were definitely meant for interpretation and not some random movements of wind. On the day foretold, the Olimar would return, along with the Iglumi and the Shacho.

Actually, many didn't say this. Wulfmin merely assumed that they all did because the first one he told his plan to said it.

This one was named Prophmin. He was a yellow pikmin, but was very strange as far as pikmin go. His stalk had been accidently broken by the Olimar while being pulled out of the ground, as Prophmin had refused to be pulled. While it hadn't fallen off, it did hang down behind his head rather than stick straight up. Prophmin bore a leaf, as he also refused to leave the Onion when called.

A story went around about Prophmin, that he had been left behind on his first day--perhaps the Olimar did it intentionally, perhaps he didn't. They found Prophmin when they returned the next day. He had survived by taking a green leaf, folding it in two, and tearing out holes to put his head and arms through. He called it a robe, and claimed that it had saved his life by camoflauge. He never took it off after that.

Anyway, Prophmin refused to carry bomb-rocks and claimed that his ears were there for listening to the Great Mamuta and not for catching air and jumping higher than red and blue pikmin, and was probably a bad choice for first pikmin to talk to...

Wulfmin ignored Prophmin and asked someone else. The first, having overheard his previous conversation, repeated everything that Prophmin had said and ran for an Onion. The second claimed to have left something in an Onion, would be back shortly, and never came back out... The third lay on the ground and pretended to be dead.

It was unfortunate for the third one, because at that moment a dwarf bulborb charged into the Onion-ground and trampled it on its way to Wulfmin. Wulfmin let out a tiny wail and ran desperately away, trying to remember how the Olimar handled this situation. The faux bulborb lunged at him; Wulfmin dodged around behind it, causing it to lose its balance. Wulfmin leapt high and came down on the bulborb's back, squishing the life out of it. He bent low, bowing to himself.

There were a few scattered whistles from the Pikmin who had been watching. Most claimed that they could have done the same thing. Prophmin began to work on a new excuse that reasoned that Wulfmin was already an alpha pikmin, and they didn't need any special nectar.

A spotty bulborb burst into the clearing and scooped Wulfmin and the dwarf bulborb up in one gulp.

The mass of pikmin screamed. The spotty bulborb, however, was making strange clucking sounds and paying them no mind, as the dwarf bulborb's body had gotten caught in what passed for its throat. Wulfmin clinged desperately to the bulborb's lip, screaming for help.

Prophmin regained his wits at the sight of a dandelion seed lying on the ground. He picked up and shook it until the fuzzies came off, observed their movements, made some marks in the dirt, and then hefted a nearby stick over his head. He ran up to the bulborb and started hitting it.

The other pikmin were amazed at this. The yellows ran to get more sticks while the reds and blues simply charged the bulborb. One yellow made sure to shove his stick into the bulborb's mouth; Wulfmin grabbed it and was pulled free, then joined in the battle.

Before long, the spotty bulborb too was defeated.

Prophmin took Wulfmin aside. "You see? We do not need an alpha pikmin. We can survive."
Wulfmin simply pointed at the bulborb. Several pikmin had begun arguing with each other over who got to keep the body. "Without an alpha pikmin, this will never get settled. Besides, bulborbs are easy to defeat. If that had been a bulblax, we would all be gone."

Prophmin considered this. "I suppose I will go with you. I only do so because I want to laugh at you when you get eaten along the way."

"Thank you," Wulfmin said. He pointed to a group of pikmin who weren't fighting over the bulborb, but seemed content with victory and the idea of sharing the body and were consequently shouted out when they tried to say so. "Let's take them. It's best if we not fight with each other. And we shall need a strong group if we hope to succeed."
As Wulfmin walked over to the Pikmin, they actually seemed to be watching the other Pikmin fight over the Bulborb. Wulfmin seemed to be confused as to why any Pikmin would be enjoyed to watch thier brethren fight. "Excuse me, but would you come with me and Prophmin to search for the Alpha Pikmin Necter?" Said Wulmin nicely so as not to insult them. Suddenly, a Blue pikmin jumps (Surprisingly) from the group.

He was known as Olimin, he had been with the Olimar since he was plucked from the ground, and even followed his example, he wrote things on the leaves he passed as he followed the Olimar, causing him to be the slowest with his bud. " I understand your fears Wulfmin, and I understand that larger creatures will be out there, so I'll help you... but don't expect us to continue if you die" Said Olimin, obviously showing his intelligence "However, we don't know where this Necter is"

"The Mamuta obviously knows!" Screamed Prophmin, making even the quabbling Pikmin stare at him

"The Mamuta? why Mamuta?" Said Olimin like the Scientologist he is

"Are you dense Olimin? The Mamuta knows all!"

"But, the Mamuta just gives us flowers, it wouldn't know where the Necter is"

"YES, SHE WOULD!"

"Prophmin, Olimin, Stop your quabbling!" Said Wulfmin "I say we search for the Mamuta, it wouldn't hurt anyone to try!"

" I apologize, I had forgotten my Pikmin roots for a second" Said Olimin, brushing his Bud back

"TO THE MAMUTA!" Yelled Prophmin again. Everyone followed him
While this search for the Alpha Pikmin nectar was taking shape, many of the other pikmin were still swarming to carcass of the Spotty Bulborb. A larger than average Red Pikmin seemed to grab hold of one of the bulborb's legs. He hefted the bulborb out of the circle of quarreling and almost got it back to the Red Onion, but was soon swarmed when the others realized that their object of argument was being carted away. They picked him up, carried him for a short distance, then threw him just like the Olimar used to do. He landed in the middle of the three Pikmin who were discussing the search, more like landed on them actually, and soon introduced himself to his landing pad.

"Thanks for breaking my fall! I don't think I could've landed right without you nice soft squirts! The name's Girthmin, nice to meet ya!"

"Get off me you dope!" Prophim didn't take kindly to being used as a cushion.

Girthmin relieved his landing pad of duty, then was introduced to the group.

"I'm Wulfmin, the strange yellow one is Prophmin, and the blue one is Olimin! We are going in search of the Alpha Pikmin Nectar. We could use all the help we can get, care to join us?"

Girthmin stared at Wulfmin blankly, then replied with more blank looks.

"Ummm... hello? Are you with us?" Wulfmin didn't know what to make of this behavior.

"Try whistling, that out to wake him from this trance." Olimin had used his knowledge of the Olimar well. Wulfmin tried to let out a loud command whistle, but not knowing exactly how, made strange raspberry noises. Olimin took a small leaf, rung it into a bugle shape, and made a loud commanding whistle come from it. Girthmin awoke immediately.

[Cataclysmic Paradox]

*reviews because he was asked to*

Seems pretty good. Of course, you might want more opinions the just mine, as it's not like I really review stories that often. Sprite comics are more of my category. In my opinion, though, it's pretty well-written, and interests me. I'll certainly be interested in reading future chapters, that is, if I remember to. Which could be a challenge for somebody as forgetful as me. -_-

[MC Mushi Mo]

The small pikmin squad now left the onion ground in search of the Mamuta, Prophmin humming a song praising the Mamuta the whole way. For a distance there seemed to be no predatory activity, that is until the ground began to quake. Several beetles dug their way out of the dirt, and began an assault on the pikmin squad. They scattered in all directions, mass confusion gripping the group. Olimin let out a loud whistle from his bugle; it didn’t do much to stop the panic.

“What would the Olimar do…?” Wulfmin remembered that the Olimar showed bravery in the heat of battle, he had to do the same. He began attacking a nearby beetle, in no time the beetle succumbed to the constant beating from the fists of Wulfmin. One other member of their squad saw this; he began a beat down of his own on the beetle surrounding him. When the others saw what their comrades had done, they quickly began beating the beetles senseless. Soon there were none left.

“Now that was a close one! How did we do it?” Asked Girthmin, who had merely followed the example set by other pikmin.

“United we can conquer anything. That was the example set by the Olimar.” Replied Olimin, the group seemed to agree with him.

“We need an Alpha Pikmin to bring us together! Now do you see how important this nectar is?” said Wulfmin, “Without it we can’t hope to survive.”

Girthmin, who had not been part of the discussion until this point, made an observation.

“Where is the strange yellow one? I haven’t seen him since the beetles attacked.” The other pikmin looked to and fro, not seeing any signs of Prophmin. That is until…

“NOOOO! THE MAMUTA!!” yelled an extremely distressed Prophmin, the others followed the sounds of the yelling, and found Prophmin weeping near a wilted flower.

“What is it!? What has happened to the Mamuta?” asked Wulfmin, not knowing the identity of the flower.

“The Mamuta… the… Mamuta…” stammered Prophmin, “the Mamuta… is DEAD!” This was followed by gasps of despair from the group, the Mamuta was the one who supplied them with honey nectar for becoming strong, and many believed it to be a great spirit.

“What could have caused this? What could cause such a life force to wither?” asked a more puzzled than distressed Olimin. He would get his answer.

The ground began to shake more violently than it had before. Out of he ground came an immense insect, its mouth parts moist from feeding.

“It was YOU! I’m going to kill you!!” Prophmin didn’t bother to consult the dandelion seeds. This was personal. He charged the insect, but instead of beating the thing to death, the hard exoskeleton caused him to bounce off towards the group.

“That bug is heavily armored, there’s no way you can pierce its shell.” Said Olimin, this didn’t discourage Prophmin in the least. BAM he threw his entire weight into the creature, who didn’t move an inch.

“We have to do something before prophmin kills himself!” yelled Wulfmin, “how can we get through that armor?”

“There is one way...” replied Olimin, “we need to throw somebody! A large somebody, a red somebody.”

“Who, me?” said a clueless Girthmin. He got his answer soon enough.

“1...2...3...HEAVE!” yelled the group, Girthmin went sailing through the air. He landed with a loud PLOP on the insect. At first nothing seemed to happen, then when the insect tried to make a move towards the group, it lost its balance. The beast rolled over onto its back, its soft underbelly completely exposed.

“I think I know what happens now.” Wulfmin charged the insect, jumped as high as he could, and landed on the underbelly. The others joined him in squishing this beast to death.

“No... the Mamuta...” cried Prophmin, his fists beaten and bloody from the assault. Something caught the groups attention.

“Honey Wisps! Lots of ‘em!” yelled Girthmin. Indeed, more Honey Wisps than most pikmin can count had flown in, sweet nectar in hand, and began dropping their delicious cargo on the remains of the Mamuta.

“What are they doing? What’s going on?” asked Wulfmin, although nobody knew for sure.

“The Mamuta.. The Mamuta! Look!” Prophmin looked up, and rejoiced at what he saw. The Mamuta had began to turn green again. The Mamuta was being revived. After he had regained his wits, Prophmin noticed a sound and, since he was the only one able to do this, perked up his ears. He heard the Mamuta, it was calling to him. He had to get closer.

“...ea...ea...st...ea...s...t...” Prophmin asked the Mamuta what was to the east, but it had no more strength left to speak.

“THE MAMUTA HAS SPOKEN!” Prophmin was yelling as loud as he could.

“Are you mad? How can a flower speak?” replied a skeptical Olimin.

“Are you mad!? THE MAMUTA KNOWS WHERE THE ALPHA PIKMIN NECTAR LIES! We must go to the East!” There was much excitement at the news. Olimin wasn’t quite sure.

“Where exactly to the east? There are millions of things to be found to the east! And you seem to forget one thing: FLOWERS DON’T SPEAK!” Many of the other pikmin exchanged doubting glances, that is until...

“May you not have doubt in your hearts little ones. Listen to me now!” The Mamuta’s bud had opened! No pikmin had ever seen the Mamuta in bloom. The Mamuta began shaking its petals, four of which worked free and fluttered in the air. Prophmin gazed at them, then began drawing in the dirt as fast as he could.

“I... don’t believe it...” Olimin kept trying to convince himself of it, but in the end he began to trust his senses.

“He’s drawing a map! Look at it, there’s the Citadel of Spiders, the Cave of Beasts, and even the Forest of Hope!” Wulfmin took a look at this map, they needed to get it down in a more permanent fashion.

“Olimin! Copy the map down, we need it done fast.” Olimin grabbed a sufficient sized leaf, and began to emulate the markings that Prophmin made. The Mamuta focused on Prophmin.

“Little one. You would sacrifice your life for mine. I thank you.” Some nectar dripped from the Mamuta, and Prophmin drank. His bloody hands were completely healed.

“Now my little ones, I must go. May your quest be a safe one.” Out of the stalk of the Mamuta came a large Honey Wisp. It flew away along with the other Honey Wisps.

“We should find shelter. It will be dark soon.” Wulfmin didn’t like the idea of running around after all the nocturnal predators had risen to eat them.

“Fine, fine. Tomorrow we go all the faster!”

[Galefore]

Interesting. This is a nice continuation of the pikmin story. I'm interested enough to read on, but there are a few mess-ups and some of the stuff is too choppy. Elaborate. You misspelled a couple of things, too. Watch out for the little things that remove you from your mental theater, and then you will prosper. Overall: Good. Keep at it! Give me more to read!