METAL - VGF

t3hDarkness · 03-20-2007, 11:55 PM

I could not think of anywhere to put this other than the random forum or here. I flipped a coin and it rolled under the desk, so here is where it goes.
An excerpt from the Alphabet of Manliness

Mis for METAL
If Manliness had a soundtrack, the score would be metal. No other genre of music is in jeopardy of dying out because its fans keep getting killed at concerts. Decades ago, angry menstruating moms and fanatical Christian conservatives tried to get metal banned for being a bad influence in our youth. They claimed that metal caused harm to children and caused violent behavior in adolescents. Today we know for a fact, they were right.

From that opening paragraph, the chapter goes on to explain the proper form for head banging, the intracacies of the Mosh Pit, The Dos and Don'ts of Metal, and the Metal Effect.

Other Chapters include,
A*s Kicking
Beef Jerky
Chuck Norris
Road Rage
Taunting
Violence
Obedience Training
and
Urinal Etiquette

**Wyborn** · 03-21-2007, 12:49 AM

You COULD mention that you're talking about Maddox's book.

t3hDarkness · 03-21-2007, 01:12 AM

In the tags. This book is too horrible to keep to myself, I mush share the personal trauma these unholy pages have caused me.

**Wyborn** · 03-21-2007, 01:24 AM

Does he denounce Chuck Norris as a wuss?

t3hDarkness · 03-21-2007, 01:28 AM

Actually he proclaims him a god. An angry and vengeful god.

**Wyborn** · 03-21-2007, 01:44 AM

Then he is lost to us, and will never return: no man may proclaim the False One and yet be suffered to walk amongst us. That is the Law of the True Way:

**Booyakasha** · 03-21-2007, 01:52 AM

^Uh oh. Looks like Chuck just met up with Wyborn's intercepting fist, 'Return of the Dragon'-style. Good luck surviving that without the aid of a more generous god--I've seen mountains crumble before Wyborn. Not because of the onslaught itself, mind you--they crumble out of fear before the onslaught even begins. Good God, y'all.

**Wyborn** · 03-21-2007, 02:13 AM

All gods are Bruce Lee.

They just have to trim the fat so you can see them properly.

t3hDarkness · 03-21-2007, 02:38 AM

Eris is Bruce Lee!? Well, I guess I would not put it past someone that crazy?

Acradius · 04-28-2007, 01:56 AM

Wyborn... that pic looks less like Chuck and more like Mark Hamil with glued-on chest hair.

03-20-2007, 11:55 PM	#1
t3hDarkness Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: I've been lost here before Gender: Posts: 4,153 Thanks: 43 Thanked 109 Times in 87 Posts Points: 12,233.81 Bank: 84,629.27 Total Points: 96,863.07 Donate	METAL I could not think of anywhere to put this other than the random forum or here. I flipped a coin and it rolled under the desk, so here is where it goes. An excerpt from the Alphabet of Manliness Mis for METAL If Manliness had a soundtrack, the score would be metal. No other genre of music is in jeopardy of dying out because its fans keep getting killed at concerts. Decades ago, angry menstruating moms and fanatical Christian conservatives tried to get metal banned for being a bad influence in our youth. They claimed that metal caused harm to children and caused violent behavior in adolescents. Today we know for a fact, they were right. From that opening paragraph, the chapter goes on to explain the proper form for head banging, the intracacies of the Mosh Pit, The Dos and Don'ts of Metal, and the Metal Effect. Other Chapters include, A*s Kicking Beef Jerky Chuck Norris Road Rage Taunting Violence Obedience Training and Urinal Etiquette

03-21-2007, 01:52 AM	#7
Booyakasha Mod of War Join Date: Nov 2000 Location: Wisconsinland Gender: Posts: 6,812 Thanks: 75 Thanked 340 Times in 221 Posts Points: 9,972.64 Bank: 20,637.07 Total Points: 30,609.71 Donate	^Uh oh. Looks like Chuck just met up with Wyborn's intercepting fist, 'Return of the Dragon'-style. Good luck surviving that without the aid of a more generous god--I've seen mountains crumble before Wyborn. Not because of the onslaught itself, mind you--they crumble out of fear before the onslaught even begins. Good God, y'all. __________________ Boo--the only dude bad enough to rescue the president

03-21-2007, 12:49 AM	#2
Wyborn Zelda Mod Join Date: Jun 2000 Location: All over the place Gender: Posts: 12,325 Thanks: 86 Thanked 437 Times in 269 Posts Points: 14,892.55 Bank: 71,521.32 Total Points: 86,413.87 Donate	You COULD mention that you're talking about Maddox's book.

03-21-2007, 01:12 AM	#3
t3hDarkness Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: I've been lost here before Gender: Posts: 4,153 Thanks: 43 Thanked 109 Times in 87 Posts Points: 12,233.81 Bank: 84,629.27 Total Points: 96,863.07 Donate	In the tags. This book is too horrible to keep to myself, I mush share the personal trauma these unholy pages have caused me.

03-21-2007, 01:24 AM	#4
Wyborn Zelda Mod Join Date: Jun 2000 Location: All over the place Gender: Posts: 12,325 Thanks: 86 Thanked 437 Times in 269 Posts Points: 14,892.55 Bank: 71,521.32 Total Points: 86,413.87 Donate	Does he denounce Chuck Norris as a wuss?

03-21-2007, 01:28 AM	#5
t3hDarkness Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: I've been lost here before Gender: Posts: 4,153 Thanks: 43 Thanked 109 Times in 87 Posts Points: 12,233.81 Bank: 84,629.27 Total Points: 96,863.07 Donate	Actually he proclaims him a god. An angry and vengeful god.

03-21-2007, 01:44 AM	#6
Wyborn Zelda Mod Join Date: Jun 2000 Location: All over the place Gender: Posts: 12,325 Thanks: 86 Thanked 437 Times in 269 Posts Points: 14,892.55 Bank: 71,521.32 Total Points: 86,413.87 Donate	Then he is lost to us, and will never return: no man may proclaim the False One and yet be suffered to walk amongst us. That is the Law of the True Way:

03-21-2007, 02:13 AM	#8
Wyborn Zelda Mod Join Date: Jun 2000 Location: All over the place Gender: Posts: 12,325 Thanks: 86 Thanked 437 Times in 269 Posts Points: 14,892.55 Bank: 71,521.32 Total Points: 86,413.87 Donate	All gods are Bruce Lee. They just have to trim the fat so you can see them properly.

03-21-2007, 02:38 AM	#9
t3hDarkness Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: I've been lost here before Gender: Posts: 4,153 Thanks: 43 Thanked 109 Times in 87 Posts Points: 12,233.81 Bank: 84,629.27 Total Points: 96,863.07 Donate	Eris is Bruce Lee!? Well, I guess I would not put it past someone that crazy?

04-28-2007, 01:56 AM	#10
Acradius Member Join Date: Feb 2001 Location: Where Time, Space and Reality fade, and there is left only the mind... Gender: Posts: 933 Thanks: 19 Thanked 23 Times in 17 Posts Points: 13,025.65 Bank: 19,953.59 Total Points: 32,979.24 Donate	Wyborn... that pic looks less like Chuck and more like Mark Hamil with glued-on chest hair.