BlueKara's Web Comic

BlueKara · 12-31-2005, 01:14 PM

BlueKara World

This is my comic. If I'm not allowed to do this (I read the rules, but I'm not exactly sure) then please just lock the topic.

Glyph Phoenix · 12-31-2005, 09:50 PM

That's just terrible. It's random, there are fourth-wall breaking jokes (we can already tell by now that you're a self-promoting loser, you don't need to say it in the comic) and the graphics look like they were drawn by a six year old.

And that's not the good kind of six-year-old drawing that creates a mood, like the crayon graphics of the Yoshi's games, that's bad six year old, the six year old that goes to the psychiatrist for drawing naughty pictures all over his coloring books. You lose, you lose, you lose.

^That's the *right* way to do the joke, not with random cheese references and locomotion and all the crap you tried to pull. Not that mine's very funny either, but still...

BlueKara · 12-31-2005, 10:34 PM

Wow...

Just... Wow...

I mean, seriously, that was so harsh, I started laughing at just how... well... harsh it was...

Smithy GCN · 01-01-2006, 12:38 AM

Well, I can understand that not everyone is an artist, but I don't really find your comic all that funny. You should try refining it before actually showing it.

Glyph Phoenix · 01-01-2006, 01:16 AM

Very good advice, Smithy.

Anyway, yeah, maybe that was a little harsh. But your comic is really very bad.

Metal Man · 01-01-2006, 05:29 AM

It makes my comics look great!

...Seriously. Steal some sprites or learn how to draw or something.

Chunky Kong12345 · 01-01-2006, 12:14 PM

These make my comics look like the king of America.

***Ace Mercury*** · 01-01-2006, 03:58 PM

The first thing I noticed was that you were insulting yourself and your comic on your webpage before I even saw the first comic. Now, that's kind of annoying; it's like you're saying if you insulted your comic first, we wouldn't be able to complain. In my opinion, there are too many jokes where the punchline is that the author is stupid, lazy, or otherwise incompetent in the interweb already.

A lot of your jokes are sight-gags, which require better art to explain exactly what is going on. Much of that is slapstick, which can be hard to pull off in a non-animated medium like the webcomic; the best I can think of elsewhere in the interweb is from Penny Arcade, when Gabe cuts off Tycho's hand with a meat cleaver. Your comics have some simple slideshows of unfortunate events, which isn't as powerful.

A lot of your jokes are simple wordplay stuff, using street slang, senseless expletives, et al, and don't really amount to anything. There are a couple of 'gems' (I'm thinking of the "I'm too sexy to die!" thingie), but the vast majority of those one-liners fall flat though; they make no sense and are not funny. Comics don't need to be wall-to-wall laughs, if a scene doesn't need to be funny, it shouldn't. Shallow inclusions of weird words smack of trying to be funny but not being funny.

Much of your dialogue and scenes are to simply progress the vapid plot; scenes where people are moving around, getting hit by things, saying things that they do in the very next panel, etc. In most cases, you can skip those things entirely and assume the reader is awake enough to figure out what is happening. If you cut out anything unnecessary, the comic seemes tighter, which saves the reader from glancing though 'empty' text and panels.

And, well, the presentation is off. I realize that this is a comic strip made with MS Paint, and that can't really be helped if that's your style. But, there are numerous misspelling on your webpages and comics. Your comics use the standard Arial font that is usually used for business memos. Your comics stretch on for many, many panels for no reason other than to fill an entire page (I prefer gag comics to be split up more into smaller comics). On the first comic you have eye-searing magenta behind black text. You have characters that no one will identify with. Those 'action lines' frame any character that is moving don't really impress the idea of motion very well. And so forth.

If you're not a natural comic savant, comic creation requires an astounding amount of research, practice, and time. All the webcomics I read say that they spend hours upon hours scripting, inking, colouring their comics. Although I'm not telling to you outright copy other people, I suggest reading comics you find good and figure out why they are good.

BlueKara · 01-01-2006, 04:12 PM

Thanks. That was so helpful, it was, well... helpful... I'll keep that in mind doing later comics, and I'll work on more sprites for the characters.

Edit:Oh, but the fact the main villian speaks slang is not susposed to be a joke (though the other characters' reactions usually are) but more of a symbolism. I'll explain it if anyone wants me too, but I warn you:Its total rubbish.

[ January 01, 2006, 03:17 PM: Message edited by: BlueKara ]

**Dylan** · 01-01-2006, 04:16 PM

^^ Now THAT is how you review a comic!

~Dylan

Glyph Phoenix · 01-01-2006, 09:13 PM

Yeah, good post, Ace. I'm going to step up reviews from now on. Doesn't mean they won't still be harsh, but they'll be just, eh, less short and stupid next time.

12-31-2005, 01:14 PM	#1
BlueKara Junior Member Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: Where. Gender: Posts: 28 Thanks: 4 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts Points: 1,138.46 Bank: 500.00 Total Points: 1,638.46 Donate	BlueKara World This is my comic. If I'm not allowed to do this (I read the rules, but I'm not exactly sure) then please just lock the topic.

12-31-2005, 09:50 PM	#2
Glyph Phoenix Member Join Date: Jul 2004 Gender: Posts: 1,774 Thanks: 2 Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post Points: 6,777.00 Bank: 500.00 Total Points: 7,277.00 Donate	That's just terrible. It's random, there are fourth-wall breaking jokes (we can already tell by now that you're a self-promoting loser, you don't need to say it in the comic) and the graphics look like they were drawn by a six year old. And that's not the good kind of six-year-old drawing that creates a mood, like the crayon graphics of the Yoshi's games, that's bad six year old, the six year old that goes to the psychiatrist for drawing naughty pictures all over his coloring books. You lose, you lose, you lose. ^That's the right way to do the joke, not with random cheese references and locomotion and all the crap you tried to pull. Not that mine's very funny either, but still...

12-31-2005, 10:34 PM	#3
BlueKara Junior Member Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: Where. Gender: Posts: 28 Thanks: 4 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts Points: 1,138.46 Bank: 500.00 Total Points: 1,638.46 Donate	Wow... Just... Wow... I mean, seriously, that was so harsh, I started laughing at just how... well... harsh it was...

01-01-2006, 12:38 AM	#4
Smithy GCN Junior Member Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: Ymir Forest Posts: 302 Thanks: 1 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts Points: 4,876.93 Bank: 500.00 Total Points: 5,376.93 Donate	Well, I can understand that not everyone is an artist, but I don't really find your comic all that funny. You should try refining it before actually showing it.

01-01-2006, 01:16 AM	#5
Glyph Phoenix Member Join Date: Jul 2004 Gender: Posts: 1,774 Thanks: 2 Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post Points: 6,777.00 Bank: 500.00 Total Points: 7,277.00 Donate	Very good advice, Smithy. Anyway, yeah, maybe that was a little harsh. But your comic is really very bad.

01-01-2006, 05:29 AM	#6
Metal Man Senior Member Join Date: Apr 2000 Location: Gender: Posts: 6,747 Thanks: 74 Thanked 199 Times in 137 Posts Points: 10,105.63 Bank: 0.00 Total Points: 10,105.63 Donate	It makes my comics look great! ...Seriously. Steal some sprites or learn how to draw or something.

01-01-2006, 12:14 PM	#7
Chunky Kong12345 Трахните Вас парни. Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: ogmftwbqq Gender: Posts: 16,706 Thanks: 62 Thanked 292 Times in 214 Posts Points: 85.78 Bank: 111,377.13 Total Points: 111,462.91 Donate	These make my comics look like the king of America.

01-01-2006, 03:58 PM	#8
*Ace Mercury* Marshmallow Knight ☆ Supermod Join Date: Jun 2000 Location: Southern Ontario Gender: Posts: 18,997 Thanks: 364 Thanked 1,533 Times in 793 Posts Blog Entries: 1 Points: 103,035.07 Bank: 15,171,716.36 Total Points: 15,274,751.43 Donate	The first thing I noticed was that you were insulting yourself and your comic on your webpage before I even saw the first comic. Now, that's kind of annoying; it's like you're saying if you insulted your comic first, we wouldn't be able to complain. In my opinion, there are too many jokes where the punchline is that the author is stupid, lazy, or otherwise incompetent in the interweb already. A lot of your jokes are sight-gags, which require better art to explain exactly what is going on. Much of that is slapstick, which can be hard to pull off in a non-animated medium like the webcomic; the best I can think of elsewhere in the interweb is from Penny Arcade, when Gabe cuts off Tycho's hand with a meat cleaver. Your comics have some simple slideshows of unfortunate events, which isn't as powerful. A lot of your jokes are simple wordplay stuff, using street slang, senseless expletives, et al, and don't really amount to anything. There are a couple of 'gems' (I'm thinking of the "I'm too sexy to die!" thingie), but the vast majority of those one-liners fall flat though; they make no sense and are not funny. Comics don't need to be wall-to-wall laughs, if a scene doesn't need to be funny, it shouldn't. Shallow inclusions of weird words smack of trying to be funny but not being funny. Much of your dialogue and scenes are to simply progress the vapid plot; scenes where people are moving around, getting hit by things, saying things that they do in the very next panel, etc. In most cases, you can skip those things entirely and assume the reader is awake enough to figure out what is happening. If you cut out anything unnecessary, the comic seemes tighter, which saves the reader from glancing though 'empty' text and panels. And, well, the presentation is off. I realize that this is a comic strip made with MS Paint, and that can't really be helped if that's your style. But, there are numerous misspelling on your webpages and comics. Your comics use the standard Arial font that is usually used for business memos. Your comics stretch on for many, many panels for no reason other than to fill an entire page (I prefer gag comics to be split up more into smaller comics). On the first comic you have eye-searing magenta behind black text. You have characters that no one will identify with. Those 'action lines' frame any character that is moving don't really impress the idea of motion very well. And so forth. If you're not a natural comic savant, comic creation requires an astounding amount of research, practice, and time. All the webcomics I read say that they spend hours upon hours scripting, inking, colouring their comics. Although I'm not telling to you outright copy other people, I suggest reading comics you find good and figure out why they are good.

01-01-2006, 04:12 PM	#9
BlueKara Junior Member Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: Where. Gender: Posts: 28 Thanks: 4 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts Points: 1,138.46 Bank: 500.00 Total Points: 1,638.46 Donate	Thanks. That was so helpful, it was, well... helpful... I'll keep that in mind doing later comics, and I'll work on more sprites for the characters. Edit:Oh, but the fact the main villian speaks slang is not susposed to be a joke (though the other characters' reactions usually are) but more of a symbolism. I'll explain it if anyone wants me too, but I warn you:Its total rubbish. [ January 01, 2006, 03:17 PM: Message edited by: BlueKara ]

01-01-2006, 04:16 PM	#10
Dylan Banned Mod Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Teenage Wasteland Gender: Posts: 6,280 Thanks: 951 Thanked 944 Times in 435 Posts Points: 32,789.76 Bank: 0.00 Total Points: 32,789.77 Donate	^^ Now THAT is how you review a comic! ~Dylan

01-01-2006, 09:13 PM	#11
Glyph Phoenix Member Join Date: Jul 2004 Gender: Posts: 1,774 Thanks: 2 Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post Points: 6,777.00 Bank: 500.00 Total Points: 7,277.00 Donate	Yeah, good post, Ace. I'm going to step up reviews from now on. Doesn't mean they won't still be harsh, but they'll be just, eh, less short and stupid next time.