The Action Comic!

[Irby]

Well its me again and I made a new comic series with my friend called The Action Comic That doesnt make Sense.Uh if you like it give some adive,credit to me and my friend.

[Insert unfunny meme here]

The only good part was the panel with Micheal Jackson.

[Irby]

We are thinking of making a Goldfinger spoof part with MJ being Oddjob except his name will probably be Blow Job.

[Spritedude]

Please keep in mind this is constructive critism, I'm trying to help you.

The story: Micheal Jackson kidnapping Peach? I don't know about anyone else, but I think that idea is really bad. Also, just a question, is that Leo from Jumi's comics? If it is I shall sue you for copyright infringement! Ummm... yeah...nevermind...

Graphics:Sprites are good, exept for that clone of "Leo". The house is okay, but it could be a lot better. The backgrounds are good too. The speech bubbles though, need work. For rounded rectangles, click the second kind, and click the color that you want the outside line to be, then put it in the comic. Or you can just put colored text next to the character speaking.

Originality:I've seen many many comics with this same idea, so not too original.

I'll give it a meh. Keep working on it. Oh, and don't come up with any dumb excuses for it not being good like most people do. Thank you.

[Dylan]

^ There are actually more possibilities with Michael Jackson kidnapping Peach than Bowser doing it.

About those speech bubbles, though, you don't need to color the text if the bubble is actually being directly attributed to the person talking. Some of the text anyway looks a little hard to read.

And why do people keep thinking Jumi made that sprite? Haven't any of you played SMB2? That's a Flurry from the arctic levels. It's fair use, chill out (No pun intended.).

-Dylan

[Irby]

Here's episode 2.

[Insert unfunny meme here]

Why is the Pink Ice Climber working for Micheal Jackson? And why did you {have Michael Jackson} address her as a boy?

[Irby]

we know the pink ice climber is a girl but in this story we had her as a him because pink suits mj and the ice climber is wearing pink.Plus we needed a kid for this episode and we settled for the ice climber.

[Insert unfunny meme here]

Originally Posted by Super Mario Guy64

we know the pink ice climber is a girl but in this story we had her as a him because pink suits mj and the ice climber is wearing pink.Plus we needed a kid for this episode and we settled for the ice climber.

We? Who's We?

[Irby]

Well in my first post I stated that me and my friend worked on the comic.

[Dylan]

Some things I missed in my first review...

1) Don't do the hand-drawn houses anymore. It just doesn't look that great.

2) Mixed bittages. While I'm not a huge stickler about this, sometimes the bits kind of clash. For example, having 16-bit Mario and Luigi in an 8-bit world sort of seems a little weird, for a lack of better words.

3) It looks like you're having some pasting problems (Look at the bush and the pipe in the first panel of the second comic.). It looks like they're sitting in little craters. When you paste, make sure you copy as little blank space as possible, then paste the object right on the horizon line.

-Dylan

[Irby]

I know about my pasting problem and that house wasnt hand drawn.(At least it wasn't hand drawn by me)And Ill change the Mario and Luigi sprites.

[Cataclysmic Paradox]

Since I'm a nice person, despite the horrible day I've had today, I won't bug you about taking the Leo sprite. And before anybody says something about it being a regular Flurry sprite, Flurries don't have light blue feet that match the exact RGB values of Leo's. They're just as white as the body, normally. But since I put a whole 2 seconds into recolouring Leo's feet back when I started the comic, and since his sprite has changed a bit, I really don't care.

Now, onto the actual review... No offense, but I'm not impressed by this one bit. I'll try to break it down into the problems I see...

1: Sprites and backgrounds. First off, many of them are badly resized. Try just using multiples of 100, it's simple enough. And even with properly resized floors, characters still look a bit awkward on top of them. A good example would be Mario in the next-to-last panel of the second comic. Next, a lot of the sprites just don't look good at all. Like some weird-angled sprite of Michael Jackson grabbing his crotch. I'm not complaining about what the sprite's doing, though I definately don't care for it. The sprite itself just looks oddly grainy. Maybe it's how it's always been, maybe it's the comic's format, maybe it's something else. I don't know. I've had problems with graininess a few times, myself. And if I remember right, my comics were just fine until I uploaded them, then Photobucket would just mess things up. I'll just get to the point here and say that the Michael Jackson sprite doesn't fit in well with the others. Also, a lot of your sprites are floating a bit off the ground, and sometimes erase parts of it, which just makes everything look sloppier then it already is. Easy enough to fix. In Paint, when you select the sprite, use as small of a box as you can to do so. Don't even get a single pixel off, and place it. It'll look much better that way. And having black backgrounds isn't such a good idea, as many sprites have a black outline around them, giving an obviously bad effect when placed over pure black. Of course, mixing bits never ends up looking too good, but in some cases, I guess it's necessary. If you're careful, it won't turn out too bad. Finally, the evil Flurry guy doesn't look so good. The colors just don't go well at all. But hey, at least you don't make the mistake of inverting your evil clones, as most people do.

2: Grammar and text. Your spelling seems fine, but you're lacking punctuation in quite a few places. You've also neglected to capitalize some stuff. Yeah, simple enough to fix, just try to pay a bit more attention, and care about it from now on. Also try to center your text in the boxes, and not have so much white space inside of them. Type the text out in Paint first, then create the box around it, not the other way around. And I'm really not trying to say that my way's the best, but try having the textbox have a little extension that reaches out to whoever's saying the text inside of it. It'll look much better. And I see that you occasionally switch between two different types of text boxes, the rounded rectangle, and the oval. Try to just stick with one, really. Also try to arrange your textboxes so it's easier to tell what order the characters speak in. Most of the time, it's best to go from top-left to bottom-right, though I guess it's not always possible to do it that way and still have stuff look right. But at least try.

3: Other stuff. First panel of the first comic, you can see a tree and a cloud to the left. Second panel, they mysteriously disappear into thin air. Now, the cloud could've floated away, even though it would've taken more then the few seconds it took Toad to say his line for it to happen. But you don't have an excuse for the tree. Aside from that, your frames are arranged horribly. Before you make the comic, try making several frames that are all the exact same width and height. Don't extend them unless you know what you're doing, as you're having the frames cut into each other quite often. If you do decide to take my advice, anything that doesn't fit into the frame, just cut out. And your view on the scenes seems to shift with each frame, which could easily be fixed by simply copying and pasting a frame after you put the characters in, but before you add text. Your characters also don't express action so well. This evil Flurry just appears behind Mario, and in the next panel, they're both gone. Add in more frames, try to make it at least look a bit more convincing. Oh, and your Flurry seems to be lacking in a proper introduction, despite the fact that he's a main character. And can we please not have his name be Leo? 'Cause I don't really care about you taking a sprite that I didn't work on that much, but if you take my character, then we have a problem.

To conclude, you don't seem to really be putting any effort into these. If you make a mistake in the grammar, sprites, or whatever, try going back and fixing it, instead of just skipping over and saying "No, it's fine, it's just one little mistake.". Because they add up quickly, and even one mistake can stand out and be noticed. Before you post your next comic, take some time to look at it and fix things. At this point, you can't honestly look at these, and say that they're capable of impressing anybody. I feel the same way about my early work, I could've done much better. But at least I tried, I fixed any mistakes I found, then posted it here. Before you post, ask yourself "Is this really my best work? If someone else posted this, would I like it? Would I at least not hate it?". If you can honestly answer yes to the first question, and at least one of the other two, then go ahead and post it. Just make sure you try this time.

And I'm sorry if this is kind of harsh, but I learned the painfully hard way that harsh is the way to go during reviews. As you've probably seen in my comic topic, I used to not get along with a certain Phoenix whose first half of his name I don't feel like identifying. But his reviews really helped me out, and I'm become a better spriter and comic maker since. And if you're willing to keep trying, I could possibly do the same with you.

Yeah, that's all. I just used up at least 30 minutes writing this, probably closer to an hour. So don't make that time wasted, improve. I look forward to seeing more work from you, and when I get the chance, I'll continue to review, and help you become better at this. Just please, try. And if you ever need any help, PM me. I may not have been getting many chances to browse the forums as of late, but I try to make it here every 2 to 3 days, if not more. So remember that.

Edit: Gah, I just knew I forgot something. Added a thingy onto the last part of the "Other stuff" section of the review. Yep, that's all.

[fire-lugia]

great comic but it lacks effort. The people are floating which would be fine if they had wings. To fix that and the pasting proble use MS paint if u have it and zoom in to the picture so u can see the whole thing then copy and paste it carefully as well.

Now that my critique is done now my question: What the heck does 8 bit or 16 bit mean?

[Irby]

I have other flurry sprites too.A newer and old one.And I was not even thinking of naming him Leo.I actully havent thought of a name yet.(probably flurry)

[Insert unfunny meme here]

Originally Posted by fire-lugia

Now that my critique is done now my question: What the heck does 8 bit or 16 bit mean?

Anyone that can make sprites should know what 8 bit and 16 bit means. If you don't, you should stop making sprites.

[fire-lugia]

I like making sprites but i dont know what they mean. I just need the meaning.

[Spritedude]

8-bit is NES graphics. Only 8 colors, and usually have no shading. 16-bit is SNES graphics, 16 colors, and always have shading. Most spriters choose 16-bit because it looks better. But some people like Jay, pick 8-bit because it's easier.

[Irby]

I got rid of the comic.

[Mikhail Gorbachev]

As far as I can see, the sprites ARE still off the ground.
Also.
-Blank panel in the middle of the comic.
-What's with the panels? Don't you know how to use the rectangle tool?
-Foreground changing from Yoshi's house to nothing at all
-Size of Yoshi's house changing
-"Falling noise"
-Mario has no cape in the first panel.
-No backgrounds
-Awkward text boxes
-General incoherence