The adventures of Ryan Spark - VGF

Spritedude · 10-09-2006, 02:00 AM

Whew! finally done! Well, here's my first drawn comic serires. I'll post a new one once or twice a week. Critique as much as you want.

Crazybirdanimations · 10-09-2006, 02:42 AM

I liked the panel where the guy with the bloody arm said: "Why cant I beat you?!" That's the only good part.

MC Luigi · 10-09-2006, 09:42 AM

Mikhail Gorbachev · 10-09-2006, 10:57 AM

It's not bad.
The shading on the blade of the sword could use work.
I'd criticize the drawing but I suck at drawing and would have no idea what I'm talking about.
The pacing also seemed to be a little awkward, but I can't put my finger on it.

Irby · 10-09-2006, 11:28 AM

It didnt have much of a storyline.

MC Mushi Mo · 10-09-2006, 02:56 PM

^And since when where an expert on story lines?

Anyhoo, nice comic. I wish I could refine my SUN SOLDIERS comic in such a way...

Insert unfunny meme here · 10-09-2006, 06:11 PM

Am I the only person that knows that the Bloody-Armed One is actually a woman?

Mikhail Gorbachev · 10-09-2006, 06:12 PM

^No, I could tell, too.

Spritedude · 10-09-2006, 06:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Count Chocula

Am I the only person that knows that the Bloody-Armed One is actually a woman?

That's a guy.

Mikhail Gorbachev · 10-09-2006, 06:26 PM

Er, sorry.

Chunky Kong12345 · 10-09-2006, 06:40 PM

Boo, comic. Hooray beer!

Mikhail Gorbachev · 10-09-2006, 06:42 PM

Heh, I noticed the edit.

Insert unfunny meme here · 10-09-2006, 07:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Spritedude

That's a guy.

A Guy in a tube skirt?

Irby · 10-09-2006, 07:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MC Mushi Mo

^And since when where an expert on story lines?

Anyhoo, nice comic. I wish I could refine my SUN SOLDIERS comic in such a way...

There wasnt a storyline at all just too guys fighting thats about it.

Mikhail Gorbachev · 10-09-2006, 07:48 PM

It's the first comic.
It's very, very common for stories (i.e. every single bestselling novel ever) to begin with a fight, battle, murder, etc.
Exposition and explanation of the events comes later.

**Dylan** · 10-09-2006, 11:08 PM

The only problem I had was with the sweat. For some reason, it looked a little awkward on the guy fighting with the sword. That could be just me, though. Other than that, not bad. Keep up the good work.

-Dylan

REDJ · 10-17-2006, 04:42 PM

I will devour souls.

Spritedude · 10-17-2006, 10:47 PM

Thanks for the comments guys. Here's the next comic.

Link CDLVI · 11-11-2006, 12:41 AM

Nice! I can't wait for the next one.

Chunky Kong12345 · 11-11-2006, 12:44 AM

NO. DO. NOT. BUMP. OLD. TOPICS.

10-09-2006, 02:00 AM	#1
Spritedude Member Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: City by the Bay Gender: Posts: 928 Thanks: 14 Thanked 25 Times in 21 Posts Points: 12,018.64 Bank: 85,361.07 Total Points: 97,379.71 Donate	The adventures of Ryan Spark Whew! finally done! Well, here's my first drawn comic serires. I'll post a new one once or twice a week. Critique as much as you want. Last edited by Spritedude; 10-09-2006 at 06:31 PM.

10-09-2006, 02:42 AM	#2
Crazybirdanimations Platinum Member Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: California Gender: Posts: 4,625 Thanks: 233 Thanked 197 Times in 165 Posts Points: 10,729.47 Bank: 8,962.73 Total Points: 19,692.20 Donate	I liked the panel where the guy with the bloody arm said: "Why cant I beat you?!" That's the only good part. __________________

10-09-2006, 09:42 AM	#3
MC Luigi Member Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: In YO FACE Gender: Posts: 1,033 Thanks: 41 Thanked 13 Times in 13 Posts Points: 9,016.64 Bank: 23,165.44 Total Points: 32,182.07 Donate	Last edited by Super Luigi 128; 10-09-2006 at 09:51 AM.

10-09-2006, 02:56 PM	#6
MC Mushi Mo This Isn't Real. Really, It's not. Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: That one place. Gender: Posts: 6,599 Thanks: 108 Thanked 308 Times in 245 Posts Points: 8,469.50 Bank: 44,991.66 Total Points: 53,461.16 Donate	^And since when where an expert on story lines? Anyhoo, nice comic. I wish I could refine my SUN SOLDIERS comic in such a way... __________________ RUN, SERAS, RUN!!

10-17-2006, 10:47 PM	#18
Spritedude Member Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: City by the Bay Gender: Posts: 928 Thanks: 14 Thanked 25 Times in 21 Posts Points: 12,018.64 Bank: 85,361.07 Total Points: 97,379.71 Donate	Thanks for the comments guys. Here's the next comic. Last edited by Spritedude; 10-17-2006 at 10:55 PM.

10-09-2006, 10:57 AM	#4
Mikhail Gorbachev Senior Member Join Date: Nov 2004 Gender: Posts: 9,490 Thanks: 25 Thanked 60 Times in 45 Posts Points: 169.14 Bank: 23,930.81 Total Points: 24,099.95 Donate	It's not bad. The shading on the blade of the sword could use work. I'd criticize the drawing but I suck at drawing and would have no idea what I'm talking about. The pacing also seemed to be a little awkward, but I can't put my finger on it.

10-09-2006, 11:28 AM	#5
Irby Senior Member Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: Canada, Eh. Gender: Posts: 6,448 Thanks: 306 Thanked 93 Times in 78 Posts Blog Entries: 5 Points: 37,692.60 Bank: 13,655.09 Total Points: 51,347.69 Donate	It didnt have much of a storyline.

10-09-2006, 06:11 PM	#7
Insert unfunny meme here Senior Member Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: Planet X Gender: Posts: 3,810 Thanks: 278 Thanked 182 Times in 128 Posts Points: 23,666.75 Bank: 40,660.18 Total Points: 64,326.92 Donate	Am I the only person that knows that the Bloody-Armed One is actually a woman?

10-09-2006, 06:12 PM	#8
Mikhail Gorbachev Senior Member Join Date: Nov 2004 Gender: Posts: 9,490 Thanks: 25 Thanked 60 Times in 45 Posts Points: 169.14 Bank: 23,930.81 Total Points: 24,099.95 Donate	^No, I could tell, too.

10-09-2006, 06:26 PM	#10
Mikhail Gorbachev Senior Member Join Date: Nov 2004 Gender: Posts: 9,490 Thanks: 25 Thanked 60 Times in 45 Posts Points: 169.14 Bank: 23,930.81 Total Points: 24,099.95 Donate	Er, sorry.

10-09-2006, 06:40 PM	#11
Chunky Kong12345 BEEP BEEP I'M A JEEP Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: ogmftwbqq Gender: Posts: 16,436 Thanks: 61 Thanked 212 Times in 155 Posts Points: 301.05 Bank: 84,672.20 Total Points: 84,973.25 Donate	Boo, comic. Hooray beer!

10-09-2006, 06:42 PM	#12
Mikhail Gorbachev Senior Member Join Date: Nov 2004 Gender: Posts: 9,490 Thanks: 25 Thanked 60 Times in 45 Posts Points: 169.14 Bank: 23,930.81 Total Points: 24,099.95 Donate	Heh, I noticed the edit.

10-09-2006, 07:48 PM	#15
Mikhail Gorbachev Senior Member Join Date: Nov 2004 Gender: Posts: 9,490 Thanks: 25 Thanked 60 Times in 45 Posts Points: 169.14 Bank: 23,930.81 Total Points: 24,099.95 Donate	It's the first comic. It's very, very common for stories (i.e. every single bestselling novel ever) to begin with a fight, battle, murder, etc. Exposition and explanation of the events comes later.

10-09-2006, 11:08 PM	#16
Dylan Banned Mod Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Teenage Wasteland Gender: Posts: 6,107 Thanks: 860 Thanked 880 Times in 402 Posts Points: 31,010.58 Bank: 0.00 Total Points: 31,010.59 Donate	The only problem I had was with the sweat. For some reason, it looked a little awkward on the guy fighting with the sword. That could be just me, though. Other than that, not bad. Keep up the good work. -Dylan

10-17-2006, 04:42 PM	#17
REDJ Junior Member Join Date: Oct 2004 Gender: Posts: 144 Thanks: 0 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts Points: 3,171.36 Bank: 500.00 Total Points: 3,671.36 Donate	I will devour souls.

11-11-2006, 12:41 AM	#19
Link CDLVI Member Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: a box under the stairs in the corner of the basement a block down the street from Jerry's Bait Shop Gender: Posts: 1,271 Thanks: 15 Thanked 16 Times in 15 Posts Points: 410.88 Bank: 8,162.32 Total Points: 8,573.20 Donate	Nice! I can't wait for the next one.

11-11-2006, 12:44 AM	#20
Chunky Kong12345 BEEP BEEP I'M A JEEP Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: ogmftwbqq Gender: Posts: 16,436 Thanks: 61 Thanked 212 Times in 155 Posts Points: 301.05 Bank: 84,672.20 Total Points: 84,973.25 Donate	NO. DO. NOT. BUMP. OLD. TOPICS.