Donkey Kong Grand Adventures - VGF

The Eddie Stilson · 09-22-2007, 11:58 PM

Hello, my name is Eric Kinkerman, and I am 11 years old and from South Dakota. I plain to become ap rofessional spirete cartoonist, adn some day i will even be better then Jay Resop. Im sorry, I'm a big fan but I will beat you one day. This is my first comic that wil be a smash hit on the interenet but I will display here on vgf first before I get my big break. It s about Donkey, Kong, Life, Death, Tradegy, Love, Drama, and many many....bananas. And now without further ado I present to you:

Smarmy Vent · 09-23-2007, 06:27 AM

Okay, where to start...

When making sprite comics, saving them as JPEGs are a no-no. They compress the files and make them blurry, which may be good for photographs or something, but not for sprite comics, where we're dealing with video game sprites.

Also, MS Paint paintbrushing is a telltale sign of amateurism and/or halfassery. Also, the font is big and awkward, and should at least be contained in some sort of speech-bubble.

Third, the panels are all different sizes, roughly cut, and placed in awkward positions. Did you use a rusty pair of scissors to make this?

Fourth, I can't tell what the hell is going on. Why the hell does the plane flip in the fourth panel? And while I'm at it... what's going on in the rest of the comic!?

Fifth, unless you do it just right, sprites generally don't mix with real photos. Jay Resop can do this (sort of). But K. Rool standing on top a photographed jet plane just doesn't look natural, or professional.

Sixth, the dialogue is poorly-written. Ever hear of punctuation? Also, the dialogue is bland and boring. Why not add some character to your character?

Finally... SO. MUCH. EMPTY. WHITE. SPACE. A sure sign of amateurism, and of the fact that the artist just got his hands on the latest copy of MS Paint 3000. There's no need for all that, or the huge text at the bottom. All of the text could have been shrunken down to make it less obnoxious.

I'm not being mean, I'm just giving you criticism. I'm not so sure right now, but perhaps with work this comic will turn out to be something great. Until then, keep working on it. Also, welcome to the forum.

**L007 is Undecided** · 09-23-2007, 07:02 AM

Val, Dylan has done an EXCELLENT job of mixing real with sprites. Perhaps you should have read them when you had the chance.

Smarmy Vent · 09-23-2007, 10:34 AM

Oh, bosh.

Tazy_10 · 09-23-2007, 01:21 PM

Oh shiz!

DK is Dr. Octopus with a ripped up Technicolor Dreamcoat for the metal tentacles!

Oh, and.... the last 3 panels were funny in thier horriblness

fnord · 09-23-2007, 04:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by The Eddie Stilson

I plain to become ap rofessional spirete cartoonist

No such thing exists.
Really, making sprite comics can't become more than a hobby.

YOU ARE MY FRIENDS · 09-23-2007, 05:25 PM

*looks at grammar*

I'm scared.

Somebody hold me.

TyFACE · 09-23-2007, 05:44 PM

Owwwwwwwwwwwwwch.

**L007 is Undecided** · 09-23-2007, 05:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by The Eddie Stilson

and I am 11 years old and from South Dakota.

**Spit take**

WHAT THE ****.

Smarmy Vent · 09-23-2007, 06:05 PM

^ *******! You spit all over my Armani!

TyFACE · 09-23-2007, 06:07 PM

He's younger than ME.

Smarmy Vent · 09-23-2007, 06:08 PM

I don't think age is the reason why L007 ruined my jacket.

TyFACE · 09-23-2007, 06:14 PM

Why was it?

Tazy_10 · 09-23-2007, 06:16 PM

The reason is Valigarmander deserved it.

TyFACE · 09-23-2007, 06:17 PM

^He deserves many things.

X-3 · 09-23-2007, 06:27 PM

^Like an award for being the best dressed member.

Needs some visual work. I thought it was a bit funny, but the effects almost ruined it for me. For example, in the last panel, just get a picture of a plane over water instead of the same thing.

TyFACE · 09-23-2007, 06:28 PM

And why is the plane upside down on one panel?

X-3 · 09-23-2007, 06:48 PM

Good point. Instead of that, find a picture of a plane taking off.

**L007 is Undecided** · 09-23-2007, 07:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Valigarmander

^ *******! You spit all over my Armani!

Ahaha, the stains will never come out!

**Dylan** · 09-23-2007, 07:54 PM

Quote:

This is bad, man! Rrrl bad!

-Dylan

09-22-2007, 11:58 PM	#1
The Eddie Stilson Newbie Join Date: Aug 2007 Gender: Posts: 17 Thanks: 0 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts Points: 158.00 Bank: 0.00 Total Points: 158.00 Donate	Donkey Kong Grand Adventures Hello, my name is Eric Kinkerman, and I am 11 years old and from South Dakota. I plain to become ap rofessional spirete cartoonist, adn some day i will even be better then Jay Resop. Im sorry, I'm a big fan but I will beat you one day. This is my first comic that wil be a smash hit on the interenet but I will display here on vgf first before I get my big break. It s about Donkey, Kong, Life, Death, Tradegy, Love, Drama, and many many....bananas. And now without further ado I present to you:

09-23-2007, 05:25 PM	#7
YOU ARE MY FRIENDS JESUS SAID Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: ON A FRIENDSHIP TREK (Panfan) Gender: Posts: 11,121 Thanks: 476 Thanked 837 Times in 599 Posts Blog Entries: 12 Points: 2,218.06 Bank: 21,468.11 Total Points: 23,686.17 Donate	looks at grammar I'm scared. Somebody hold me. __________________ L2R: Alex, Max, Bitch, Ethan, I'm not sure she has a name.

09-23-2007, 06:27 AM	#2
Smarmy Vent The night is darkest just before the dawn. Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: Gotham Gender: Posts: 12,621 Thanks: 725 Thanked 1,135 Times in 598 Posts Points: 48.76 Bank: 115,718.15 Total Points: 115,766.91 Donate	Okay, where to start... When making sprite comics, saving them as JPEGs are a no-no. They compress the files and make them blurry, which may be good for photographs or something, but not for sprite comics, where we're dealing with video game sprites. Also, MS Paint paintbrushing is a telltale sign of amateurism and/or halfassery. Also, the font is big and awkward, and should at least be contained in some sort of speech-bubble. Third, the panels are all different sizes, roughly cut, and placed in awkward positions. Did you use a rusty pair of scissors to make this? Fourth, I can't tell what the hell is going on. Why the hell does the plane flip in the fourth panel? And while I'm at it... what's going on in the rest of the comic!? Fifth, unless you do it just right, sprites generally don't mix with real photos. Jay Resop can do this (sort of). But K. Rool standing on top a photographed jet plane just doesn't look natural, or professional. Sixth, the dialogue is poorly-written. Ever hear of punctuation? Also, the dialogue is bland and boring. Why not add some character to your character? Finally... SO. MUCH. EMPTY. WHITE. SPACE. A sure sign of amateurism, and of the fact that the artist just got his hands on the latest copy of MS Paint 3000. There's no need for all that, or the huge text at the bottom. All of the text could have been shrunken down to make it less obnoxious. I'm not being mean, I'm just giving you criticism. I'm not so sure right now, but perhaps with work this comic will turn out to be something great. Until then, keep working on it. Also, welcome to the forum.

09-23-2007, 07:02 AM	#3
L007 is Undecided Axe Shreddin' Mod Join Date: May 2001 Location: Farmerland. Gender: Posts: 7,341 Thanks: 90 Thanked 292 Times in 172 Posts Points: 2,153.54 Bank: 15,959.16 Total Points: 18,112.70 Donate	Val, Dylan has done an EXCELLENT job of mixing real with sprites. Perhaps you should have read them when you had the chance.

09-23-2007, 10:34 AM	#4
Smarmy Vent The night is darkest just before the dawn. Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: Gotham Gender: Posts: 12,621 Thanks: 725 Thanked 1,135 Times in 598 Posts Points: 48.76 Bank: 115,718.15 Total Points: 115,766.91 Donate	Oh, bosh.

09-23-2007, 01:21 PM	#5
Tazy_10 Forum Host Join Date: Sep 2000 Location: Tazy is a bad Mafia Player. I'm Serious. Gender: Posts: 7,538 Thanks: 153 Thanked 265 Times in 206 Posts Blog Entries: 4 Points: 18,725.18 Bank: 26,659.01 Total Points: 45,384.18 Donate	Oh shiz! DK is Dr. Octopus with a ripped up Technicolor Dreamcoat for the metal tentacles! Oh, and.... the last 3 panels were funny in thier horriblness

09-23-2007, 05:44 PM	#8
TyFACE Senior Member Join Date: May 2007 Location: Nowhere. And everywhere. It's a gift. Gender: Posts: 3,506 Thanks: 213 Thanked 73 Times in 51 Posts Blog Entries: 2 Points: 1,803.22 Bank: 7,339.44 Total Points: 9,142.66 Donate	Owwwwwwwwwwwwwch.

09-23-2007, 06:05 PM	#10
Smarmy Vent The night is darkest just before the dawn. Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: Gotham Gender: Posts: 12,621 Thanks: 725 Thanked 1,135 Times in 598 Posts Points: 48.76 Bank: 115,718.15 Total Points: 115,766.91 Donate	^ *******! You spit all over my Armani!

09-23-2007, 06:07 PM	#11
TyFACE Senior Member Join Date: May 2007 Location: Nowhere. And everywhere. It's a gift. Gender: Posts: 3,506 Thanks: 213 Thanked 73 Times in 51 Posts Blog Entries: 2 Points: 1,803.22 Bank: 7,339.44 Total Points: 9,142.66 Donate	He's younger than ME.

09-23-2007, 06:08 PM	#12
Smarmy Vent The night is darkest just before the dawn. Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: Gotham Gender: Posts: 12,621 Thanks: 725 Thanked 1,135 Times in 598 Posts Points: 48.76 Bank: 115,718.15 Total Points: 115,766.91 Donate	I don't think age is the reason why L007 ruined my jacket.

09-23-2007, 06:14 PM	#13
TyFACE Senior Member Join Date: May 2007 Location: Nowhere. And everywhere. It's a gift. Gender: Posts: 3,506 Thanks: 213 Thanked 73 Times in 51 Posts Blog Entries: 2 Points: 1,803.22 Bank: 7,339.44 Total Points: 9,142.66 Donate	Why was it?

09-23-2007, 06:16 PM	#14
Tazy_10 Forum Host Join Date: Sep 2000 Location: Tazy is a bad Mafia Player. I'm Serious. Gender: Posts: 7,538 Thanks: 153 Thanked 265 Times in 206 Posts Blog Entries: 4 Points: 18,725.18 Bank: 26,659.01 Total Points: 45,384.18 Donate	The reason is Valigarmander deserved it.

09-23-2007, 06:17 PM	#15
TyFACE Senior Member Join Date: May 2007 Location: Nowhere. And everywhere. It's a gift. Gender: Posts: 3,506 Thanks: 213 Thanked 73 Times in 51 Posts Blog Entries: 2 Points: 1,803.22 Bank: 7,339.44 Total Points: 9,142.66 Donate	^He deserves many things.

09-23-2007, 06:27 PM	#16
X-3 Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: Brigade HQ Gender: Posts: 9,006 Thanks: 264 Thanked 276 Times in 205 Posts Blog Entries: 3 Points: 5,445.31 Bank: 0.00 Total Points: 5,445.31 Donate	^Like an award for being the best dressed member. Needs some visual work. I thought it was a bit funny, but the effects almost ruined it for me. For example, in the last panel, just get a picture of a plane over water instead of the same thing.

09-23-2007, 06:28 PM	#17
TyFACE Senior Member Join Date: May 2007 Location: Nowhere. And everywhere. It's a gift. Gender: Posts: 3,506 Thanks: 213 Thanked 73 Times in 51 Posts Blog Entries: 2 Points: 1,803.22 Bank: 7,339.44 Total Points: 9,142.66 Donate	And why is the plane upside down on one panel?

09-23-2007, 06:48 PM	#18
X-3 Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: Brigade HQ Gender: Posts: 9,006 Thanks: 264 Thanked 276 Times in 205 Posts Blog Entries: 3 Points: 5,445.31 Bank: 0.00 Total Points: 5,445.31 Donate	Good point. Instead of that, find a picture of a plane taking off.