The Cult of Zinglon

t3hDarkness · 08-27-2007, 11:03 AM

Order of Zinglon

Order of Zinglon
Story
It is written that in the days of 2-D holovision, there appeared an image to
everyone in the universe. That image was the ascention of our god, Zinglon.
He gave us this image of his form so that we may look upon him and realize the
great pain he felt so that we could live new lives, free from the negative
aspects of life.

Soon afterward, the prophet Monses received the eleven cubes of holy rules,
the commandments by which all races must live in harmony.

The greatest of these commandments is that All Life-Forms May Partake
of the Wisdom of Zinglon. Every creature, big and small, is given
the opportunity to save themselves from damnation by learning the writings of
our order.

Also important is the Right to Free Speech With Exceptions. That
is, any person who follows the right of Zinglon may produce any material they
see fit which does not mock the great one himself. Those who do not follow
the order may also produce any material they wish, though the order is free
to wage Jihad against them.

Another great advance in free rights is the Spiritual Right to Eat
Crackers.

The rest are:

The Law of the Order of Zinglon is final and absolute.

All races must live in harmony or suffer the consequences.

Objects whose quantity are eleven are spiritually divine.

No race is allowed to totally destroy another, no matter what their crime.
Anyone so doing must at least keep one of the target race in stasis under their
own expense.

No life form has the right to invoke the power of Zinglon within pagan idols.

All life forms have the right to subsidized bus fare.

All life forms have the right to subsidized education, as long as they are
taught the rules of Zinglon and are bonded into slavery for life.

No life form may be harmed by the order unless the order proves that they have
not followed the above commandments.

***The Doctor*** · 08-27-2007, 11:57 AM

OOOOOookkkkkkaaaayyyyy. I'm going over here now. *points away from the topic*

***CaptHayfever*** · 08-27-2007, 12:17 PM

I can tell that you're trying to make a point, and I can tell what your point is, but it fails because it uses the same smarmy methodology as Pastafarianism, which has been overused to the point of stupidity.

And remember, "I'm-a Luigi, number one!"

t3hDarkness · 08-27-2007, 12:41 PM

Sigh, sometimes a joke is just a joke.

Just thought I would post something video game related on a site known as 'Video Gamers First'.

I disagree with the Order mostly because of their anti foodweapon decrees. What's this world coming to when you're no longer allowed to launch 20ms of high pressure synthesized hot dogs at your enemies without the sanction of a priest wearing the brick red robed of inedibility.

**Crazyswordsman** · 08-27-2007, 12:57 PM

^^You forgot the Flying Spaghetti Monster. -CSM

Rainbow Dash · 08-27-2007, 01:03 PM

Doesn't Pastafarianism cover the Flying Spaghetti Monster?

t3hDarkness · 08-27-2007, 01:09 PM

They are one and the same.

Princess Zelda of Hyrule · 08-27-2007, 01:15 PM

Is it just me, or is that Michelangelo painting of the FSM touching Adam's hand creepy?

Inferno Dragon · 08-27-2007, 01:22 PM

meh, I like the Cult of Cthulhu better, at least they know how to summon monsters and ancient things from outside space that can destroy all of humanity. Ia! Ia! Cthulhu F'thagn!

t3hDarkness · 08-27-2007, 01:23 PM

More or less creepy than the original giant naked man reaching out to touch the naked man?

ZeldaGirl · 08-27-2007, 01:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Inferno Dragon

meh, I like the Cult of Cthulhu better, at least they know how to summon monsters and ancient things from outside space that can destroy all of humanity. Ia! Ia! Cthulhu F'thagn!

I was waiting for you to show up.

Inferno Dragon · 08-27-2007, 01:29 PM

^umm... okay? any reason as to why you were waiting for me ZG?

Joker · 08-27-2007, 01:58 PM

^ because she loves you

Rainbow Dash · 08-27-2007, 02:21 PM

I love where this was moved to.

08-27-2007, 11:03 AM	#1
t3hDarkness Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: I weep oily black tears of joy. Gender: Posts: 7,590 Thanks: 119 Thanked 418 Times in 306 Posts Blog Entries: 5	The Cult of Zinglon Order of Zinglon Order of Zinglon Story It is written that in the days of 2-D holovision, there appeared an image to everyone in the universe. That image was the ascention of our god, Zinglon. He gave us this image of his form so that we may look upon him and realize the great pain he felt so that we could live new lives, free from the negative aspects of life. Soon afterward, the prophet Monses received the eleven cubes of holy rules, the commandments by which all races must live in harmony. The greatest of these commandments is that All Life-Forms May Partake of the Wisdom of Zinglon. Every creature, big and small, is given the opportunity to save themselves from damnation by learning the writings of our order. Also important is the Right to Free Speech With Exceptions. That is, any person who follows the right of Zinglon may produce any material they see fit which does not mock the great one himself. Those who do not follow the order may also produce any material they wish, though the order is free to wage Jihad against them. Another great advance in free rights is the Spiritual Right to Eat Crackers. The rest are: The Law of the Order of Zinglon is final and absolute. All races must live in harmony or suffer the consequences. Objects whose quantity are eleven are spiritually divine. No race is allowed to totally destroy another, no matter what their crime. Anyone so doing must at least keep one of the target race in stasis under their own expense. No life form has the right to invoke the power of Zinglon within pagan idols. All life forms have the right to subsidized bus fare. All life forms have the right to subsidized education, as long as they are taught the rules of Zinglon and are bonded into slavery for life. No life form may be harmed by the order unless the order proves that they have not followed the above commandments.

08-27-2007, 11:57 AM	#2
*The Doctor* The Last Timelord. Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: In the TARDIS Gender: Posts: 13,879 Thanks: 915 Thanked 656 Times in 426 Posts Blog Entries: 1	OOOOOookkkkkkaaaayyyyy. I'm going over here now. points away from the topic

08-27-2007, 12:17 PM	#3
*CaptHayfever* Smash SuperMod Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: (n) - the place where I am Gender: Posts: 27,659 Thanks: 1,991 Thanked 2,486 Times in 1,513 Posts	I can tell that you're trying to make a point, and I can tell what your point is, but it fails because it uses the same smarmy methodology as Pastafarianism, which has been overused to the point of stupidity. And remember, "I'm-a Luigi, number one!"

08-27-2007, 12:41 PM	#4
t3hDarkness Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: I weep oily black tears of joy. Gender: Posts: 7,590 Thanks: 119 Thanked 418 Times in 306 Posts Blog Entries: 5	Sigh, sometimes a joke is just a joke. Just thought I would post something video game related on a site known as 'Video Gamers First'. I disagree with the Order mostly because of their anti foodweapon decrees. What's this world coming to when you're no longer allowed to launch 20ms of high pressure synthesized hot dogs at your enemies without the sanction of a priest wearing the brick red robed of inedibility.

08-27-2007, 12:57 PM	#5
Crazyswordsman This key doesn't work. Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Booyaville (yeah!) Gender: Posts: 10,791 Thanks: 1,019 Thanked 686 Times in 467 Posts	^^You forgot the Flying Spaghetti Monster. -CSM

08-27-2007, 01:03 PM	#6
Rainbow Dash been dreamin', i've been waitin' Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: a bomb-ass cloud house bachelorette pad Gender: Posts: 24,398 Thanks: 173 Thanked 1,179 Times in 716 Posts	Doesn't Pastafarianism cover the Flying Spaghetti Monster?

08-27-2007, 01:09 PM	#7
t3hDarkness Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: I weep oily black tears of joy. Gender: Posts: 7,590 Thanks: 119 Thanked 418 Times in 306 Posts Blog Entries: 5	They are one and the same.

08-27-2007, 01:15 PM	#8
Princess Zelda of Hyrule Senior Member Join Date: Jun 2000 Location: Hyrule Castle Gender: Posts: 6,128 Thanks: 35 Thanked 14 Times in 10 Posts	Is it just me, or is that Michelangelo painting of the FSM touching Adam's hand creepy?

08-27-2007, 01:22 PM	#9
Inferno Dragon Senior Member Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Planet Draco Gender: Posts: 6,038 Thanks: 67 Thanked 36 Times in 29 Posts	meh, I like the Cult of Cthulhu better, at least they know how to summon monsters and ancient things from outside space that can destroy all of humanity. Ia! Ia! Cthulhu F'thagn!

08-27-2007, 01:23 PM	#10
t3hDarkness Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: I weep oily black tears of joy. Gender: Posts: 7,590 Thanks: 119 Thanked 418 Times in 306 Posts Blog Entries: 5	More or less creepy than the original giant naked man reaching out to touch the naked man?

08-27-2007, 01:29 PM	#12
Inferno Dragon Senior Member Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Planet Draco Gender: Posts: 6,038 Thanks: 67 Thanked 36 Times in 29 Posts	^umm... okay? any reason as to why you were waiting for me ZG?

08-27-2007, 01:58 PM	#13
Joker Lord of Vampires / God of Vengeance Join Date: Apr 2000 Location: The Planet of Eternal Darkness Gender: Posts: 11,117 Thanks: 3,273 Thanked 580 Times in 364 Posts Blog Entries: 6	^ because she loves you

08-27-2007, 02:21 PM	#14
Rainbow Dash been dreamin', i've been waitin' Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: a bomb-ass cloud house bachelorette pad Gender: Posts: 24,398 Thanks: 173 Thanked 1,179 Times in 716 Posts	I love where this was moved to.