Poetry? From L007? Get out!

**Loot** · 03-12-2008, 08:29 PM

So I ended up writing a couple of poems for a final project in my AP Poetry class. Somehow they ended up getting a lot of praise, mainly the love sonnet. Anyway, I wrote the first one in free verse and the second has a basic ABAB rhyme scheme. Review pleaxe.

O, my Love
The elegance of her spirit flows like the wind
A composure of true human nature.
A stunning image of beauty... grace... knowledge... wisdom...
All which break forth from her as a mighty waterfall.
With her smile alone, she could revive the once wilted rose
And turn sunflowers toward her own radiant face,
Which alone could bring Apollo's lantern to shame.
A voice whose laugh brings smiles to all
A voice whose anger forces the Minotaur to quiver
A voice whose cries tugs at the heart.
Dare I look unto her faults? Oh, I shant.
For there is none which I can find.
No, she is truly one human whom I love
One whose qualities cannot be measured.
One whose love can be seen by her own friends
Her own feelings, her own turmoils, her own life
Could fill a best-selling book
And I would spend the rest of my life reading
To share in on her experiences
To share in on her world
To share in as her friend.

A Lifetime of Friendship in One Day
At two in the morning, we meet.
At three, you shove me down.
At four, we fight for the same seat.
At five, you make me feel like a clown.
At six, we start to talk for a bit.
At seven, we make a joke.
Eight, nine, and ten, we decide to talk and sit.
Discussing at eleven which is better, Pepsi or Coke.
At noon, we start to be best friends.
At one, we help each other with little deeds.
At two, you show me the girl you love and defend.
At three, you help me understand my own needs.
At four, we expand from two to four.
At five, we have our first group date.
At six, we get together more and more.
At seven, I feel my heart is being beared down with weight.
At eight, I find I must pay them back.
At nine, I start to do little favors.
At ten, I feel there is something I still lack.
At eleven, I get the idea that will be my savior.
Now, at midnight, I lay in bed,
Thinking of what I still have left to do.
I cannot think back, only ahead.
After all, tomorrow is another day anew.

The first one is, as you may have guessed, a sonnet I wrote about Amy. I'm going to give it to Amy tomorrow and, well...

The second one I wanted to do in the style of a ballad. It's based on the experiences I've had with one of my friends and compressed the years we have known each other into nearly 24 hours. I didn't start at one since that time is empty due to... yeah.

**Marchie** · 03-12-2008, 08:34 PM

Very impressive, as I suck at poetry.

Sonnet about Amy is very nice, you're quite the ladies' man.

**Galefore** · 03-12-2008, 09:09 PM

Nice. I fancy myself a poet, but that is a lot better than the lyrical **** I've written.

***Saria Dragon of the Rain Wilds*** · 03-13-2008, 08:40 PM

Those are nicely written, loot. You have a very different style to your poetry than my own, so it's refreshing to read. The second poem, some of the lines don't flow quite so easily when read out loud, just because they have so many more syllables than the others, but otherwise it's neat.

CuccoLady · 03-13-2008, 10:08 PM

I've done poetry, but I ****ing suck at it. I love the love one because, not only is it really emotional and stuffz, but you can actually write free-verse. I ****ing suck at free-verse. Kudos, Loo7.

03-12-2008, 08:29 PM	#1
Loot Apparently I'm a mod? Join Date: May 2001 Location: LEGITIMATE BUSINESS Gender: Posts: 13,208 Thanks: 236 Thanked 1,237 Times in 659 Posts	Poetry? From L007? Get out! So I ended up writing a couple of poems for a final project in my AP Poetry class. Somehow they ended up getting a lot of praise, mainly the love sonnet. Anyway, I wrote the first one in free verse and the second has a basic ABAB rhyme scheme. Review pleaxe. O, my Love The elegance of her spirit flows like the wind A composure of true human nature. A stunning image of beauty... grace... knowledge... wisdom... All which break forth from her as a mighty waterfall. With her smile alone, she could revive the once wilted rose And turn sunflowers toward her own radiant face, Which alone could bring Apollo's lantern to shame. A voice whose laugh brings smiles to all A voice whose anger forces the Minotaur to quiver A voice whose cries tugs at the heart. Dare I look unto her faults? Oh, I shant. For there is none which I can find. No, she is truly one human whom I love One whose qualities cannot be measured. One whose love can be seen by her own friends Her own feelings, her own turmoils, her own life Could fill a best-selling book And I would spend the rest of my life reading To share in on her experiences To share in on her world To share in as her friend. A Lifetime of Friendship in One Day At two in the morning, we meet. At three, you shove me down. At four, we fight for the same seat. At five, you make me feel like a clown. At six, we start to talk for a bit. At seven, we make a joke. Eight, nine, and ten, we decide to talk and sit. Discussing at eleven which is better, Pepsi or Coke. At noon, we start to be best friends. At one, we help each other with little deeds. At two, you show me the girl you love and defend. At three, you help me understand my own needs. At four, we expand from two to four. At five, we have our first group date. At six, we get together more and more. At seven, I feel my heart is being beared down with weight. At eight, I find I must pay them back. At nine, I start to do little favors. At ten, I feel there is something I still lack. At eleven, I get the idea that will be my savior. Now, at midnight, I lay in bed, Thinking of what I still have left to do. I cannot think back, only ahead. After all, tomorrow is another day anew. The first one is, as you may have guessed, a sonnet I wrote about Amy. I'm going to give it to Amy tomorrow and, well... The second one I wanted to do in the style of a ballad. It's based on the experiences I've had with one of my friends and compressed the years we have known each other into nearly 24 hours. I didn't start at one since that time is empty due to... yeah.

03-12-2008, 08:34 PM	#2
Marchie Pokeman Master since 1999 Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: Wiscaaaaaaaaaaansin/Michigan Gender: Posts: 16,647 Thanks: 1,442 Thanked 680 Times in 477 Posts	Very impressive, as I suck at poetry. Sonnet about Amy is very nice, you're quite the ladies' man.

03-12-2008, 09:09 PM	#3
Galefore EXPLOSION GOD OF MUSIC Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Some studio somewhere Gender: Posts: 8,275 Thanks: 1,361 Thanked 826 Times in 535 Posts Blog Entries: 5	Nice. I fancy myself a poet, but that is a lot better than the lyrical **** I've written.

03-13-2008, 08:40 PM	#4
*Saria Dragon of the Rain Wilds* Admin "mine.. not yours. NO. MINE." Epic Ladynerd Join Date: Jul 2000 Location: Forteresse de Valois Gender: Posts: 28,503 Thanks: 1,658 Thanked 1,820 Times in 1,042 Posts	Those are nicely written, loot. You have a very different style to your poetry than my own, so it's refreshing to read. The second poem, some of the lines don't flow quite so easily when read out loud, just because they have so many more syllables than the others, but otherwise it's neat.

03-13-2008, 10:08 PM	#5
CuccoLady Anime and Cartoons Mod Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: THIS LOCATION REMINDS ME OF A PUZZLE, LUKE Gender: Posts: 9,077 Thanks: 2,825 Thanked 1,222 Times in 822 Posts	I've done poetry, but I **ing suck at it. I love the love one because, not only is it really emotional and stuffz, but you can actually write free-verse. I **ing suck at free-verse. Kudos, Loo7.