March writes poems too, though not by choice.

**Marchie** · 03-19-2008, 09:03 PM

Lions roar rhapsodically along the rainy plains
Like a choir harmonizing, singing paralyzing refrains,
Both may carry on, melodiously, for miles
In some hearers, it strikes fear
In others who listen, smiles.
As for me, I wonder, how such throngs can sound like magnificent thunder.

It's supposed to be a comparison poem, go ahead and tell me what you think. Negative criticism is fine.

CuccoLady · 03-20-2008, 08:45 PM

I am not the world's best poet, I'll tell you that now, so please don't be offended by some person who has no idea what they're talking about just criticizing this randomly.

I'm not gonna lie, on the first line I thought it was one of those poems where you have to start each or most of the words with the same letter.

A huge part of poetry is RHYTHM. Poetry is music without the notes, it's a song without the pitches. What you have left is the feeling, the intonation, and the rhythm.

The first two lines have a kind of awkward flow. The words don't really seem like they are meant to be together, more like they were put there by force.

It gets a bit better as it goes on, though.

When I get a random urge to write a poem, one of my worst mistakes is to just write down words.

I find it really useful to think of a base first. Think, line one has this many beats and they flow like this, and line two has this many beats with this flow. So, I get a feel in my head of "lalalalala lala" "lalalalala lala". Then I turn that into "Through the air the petals fall" "Softly, with no sound at all."

I know I'm wording this horribly. I just really want to emphasize the importance of rhythm and flow, and I find it easy if I imagine the rhythm and flow before adding words. An odd-fitting number of beats in a line has killed many a poem.

Then is the wording. If you read poetry or even hymns or something, the words have meaning. They are made to fit the rhythm of the song, but they also have to follow the intonation. You have to be careful of too many accents in awkward places, or words that simply are too big or small to fit a line. I personally think the hardest thing in poetry is being able to choose words that flow, but are still full of imagery and similes and metaphors and stuff. I can't do it very well, let me tell you that.

Anyway, my pointless ramblings aside (I say 'pointless' because I can't even do what I'm telling you to), it's a great start.

**Loot** · 03-20-2008, 09:21 PM

I ain't gonna lie, man. You use quite the extended vocabulary for poems. However, MORE EMOTION, MAN. Just pour your heart into it.

***Cosmonautical*** · 03-20-2008, 11:12 PM

This is pretty nice, March, you're headed in the right direction.

**Marchie** · 04-06-2008, 02:19 PM

THis one is rather unique, as you have to read it down to up, it's based off the game DOnkey Kong, if you couldn't guess when you first saw it.

ZeldaGirl · 04-06-2008, 02:21 PM

OMG I'M IN THIS PICTURE!

OH BEE TEE DUBS, BESTEST POEM EVAR

User Name · 04-06-2008, 08:25 PM

Marchie, you're my favorite! *huggles* Great poem!!!

CuccoLady · 04-06-2008, 09:56 PM

OK, that one was awesome.

***CaptHayfever*** · 04-07-2008, 10:04 AM

I had trouble getting "climbing my way" to connect until I skipped it and read the rest of the poem first. Still cool, though.

And remember, "I'm-a Luigi, number one!"

***Cosmonautical*** · 04-07-2008, 12:34 PM

Nice poem, clever structure. Like CaptHayfever, I had a problem understanding where to go from the first line to the second.

Crop functions are your friend, btw. That image is massive.

**Marchie** · 04-07-2008, 08:00 PM

^Sorry, I'm lazy, and yeah, I noticed thasat the structure wasn't the best either, but I did what I could work with.

**Marchie** · 05-01-2008, 05:51 AM

Btw, I got a 50/50 on that sucker /bump

03-19-2008, 09:03 PM	#1
Marchie Pokeman Master since 1999 Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: Wiscaaaaaaaaaaansin/Michigan Gender: Posts: 16,647 Thanks: 1,442 Thanked 680 Times in 477 Posts	March writes poems too, though not by choice. Lions roar rhapsodically along the rainy plains Like a choir harmonizing, singing paralyzing refrains, Both may carry on, melodiously, for miles In some hearers, it strikes fear In others who listen, smiles. As for me, I wonder, how such throngs can sound like magnificent thunder. It's supposed to be a comparison poem, go ahead and tell me what you think. Negative criticism is fine.

03-20-2008, 08:45 PM	#2
CuccoLady Anime and Cartoons Mod Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: THIS LOCATION REMINDS ME OF A PUZZLE, LUKE Gender: Posts: 9,077 Thanks: 2,825 Thanked 1,222 Times in 822 Posts	I am not the world's best poet, I'll tell you that now, so please don't be offended by some person who has no idea what they're talking about just criticizing this randomly. I'm not gonna lie, on the first line I thought it was one of those poems where you have to start each or most of the words with the same letter. A huge part of poetry is RHYTHM. Poetry is music without the notes, it's a song without the pitches. What you have left is the feeling, the intonation, and the rhythm. The first two lines have a kind of awkward flow. The words don't really seem like they are meant to be together, more like they were put there by force. It gets a bit better as it goes on, though. When I get a random urge to write a poem, one of my worst mistakes is to just write down words. I find it really useful to think of a base first. Think, line one has this many beats and they flow like this, and line two has this many beats with this flow. So, I get a feel in my head of "lalalalala lala" "lalalalala lala". Then I turn that into "Through the air the petals fall" "Softly, with no sound at all." I know I'm wording this horribly. I just really want to emphasize the importance of rhythm and flow, and I find it easy if I imagine the rhythm and flow before adding words. An odd-fitting number of beats in a line has killed many a poem. Then is the wording. If you read poetry or even hymns or something, the words have meaning. They are made to fit the rhythm of the song, but they also have to follow the intonation. You have to be careful of too many accents in awkward places, or words that simply are too big or small to fit a line. I personally think the hardest thing in poetry is being able to choose words that flow, but are still full of imagery and similes and metaphors and stuff. I can't do it very well, let me tell you that. Anyway, my pointless ramblings aside (I say 'pointless' because I can't even do what I'm telling you to), it's a great start.

03-20-2008, 09:21 PM	#3
Loot Apparently I'm a mod? Join Date: May 2001 Location: LEGITIMATE BUSINESS Gender: Posts: 13,208 Thanks: 236 Thanked 1,237 Times in 659 Posts	I ain't gonna lie, man. You use quite the extended vocabulary for poems. However, MORE EMOTION, MAN. Just pour your heart into it.

03-20-2008, 11:12 PM	#4
*Cosmonautical* Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: I rub my tilde all over your asterisk Gender: Posts: 28,100 Thanks: 2,151 Thanked 5,338 Times in 2,433 Posts	This is pretty nice, March, you're headed in the right direction.

04-06-2008, 02:19 PM	#5
Marchie Pokeman Master since 1999 Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: Wiscaaaaaaaaaaansin/Michigan Gender: Posts: 16,647 Thanks: 1,442 Thanked 680 Times in 477 Posts	THis one is rather unique, as you have to read it down to up, it's based off the game DOnkey Kong, if you couldn't guess when you first saw it.

04-06-2008, 02:21 PM	#6
ZeldaGirl Awesome member Join Date: Jun 2001 Location: Why do YOU want to know...? Gender: Posts: 15,896 Thanks: 1,130 Thanked 1,919 Times in 1,046 Posts	OMG I'M IN THIS PICTURE! OH BEE TEE DUBS, BESTEST POEM EVAR

04-06-2008, 08:25 PM	#7
User Name Senior Member Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: Gotham City Gender: Posts: 7,209 Thanks: 701 Thanked 536 Times in 367 Posts	Marchie, you're my favorite! huggles Great poem!!!

04-06-2008, 09:56 PM	#8
CuccoLady Anime and Cartoons Mod Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: THIS LOCATION REMINDS ME OF A PUZZLE, LUKE Gender: Posts: 9,077 Thanks: 2,825 Thanked 1,222 Times in 822 Posts	OK, that one was awesome.

04-07-2008, 10:04 AM	#9
*CaptHayfever* Smash SuperMod Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: (n) - the place where I am Gender: Posts: 27,659 Thanks: 1,991 Thanked 2,486 Times in 1,513 Posts	I had trouble getting "climbing my way" to connect until I skipped it and read the rest of the poem first. Still cool, though. And remember, "I'm-a Luigi, number one!"

04-07-2008, 12:34 PM	#10
*Cosmonautical* Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: I rub my tilde all over your asterisk Gender: Posts: 28,100 Thanks: 2,151 Thanked 5,338 Times in 2,433 Posts	Nice poem, clever structure. Like CaptHayfever, I had a problem understanding where to go from the first line to the second. Crop functions are your friend, btw. That image is massive.

04-07-2008, 08:00 PM	#11
Marchie Pokeman Master since 1999 Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: Wiscaaaaaaaaaaansin/Michigan Gender: Posts: 16,647 Thanks: 1,442 Thanked 680 Times in 477 Posts	^Sorry, I'm lazy, and yeah, I noticed thasat the structure wasn't the best either, but I did what I could work with.

05-01-2008, 05:51 AM	#12
Marchie Pokeman Master since 1999 Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: Wiscaaaaaaaaaaansin/Michigan Gender: Posts: 16,647 Thanks: 1,442 Thanked 680 Times in 477 Posts	Btw, I got a 50/50 on that sucker /bump