I have Writer's Block, sorta

The Spark · 01-13-2009, 09:33 PM

ok, so in Language Arts i have to write a 7 paragrapg fictional narrative. now you're thinking, no big deal right? BIG DEAL. i have half an hour to finish it and are on paragraph 3. I have no idea what to do next. Before I show you what i have so far, i should probably say what its about: There is this totally good family who's father (Mr. Sprinkle) owns an ice cream factor. Goody Two Shoe's Sly (Sylvester) finds this formula for untraceable poisonous ice cream that was in one of his fathers secret file cabinets. so he decides to take it into his own hands. he makes his first batch, but his lovable little brother eats it and obviously gets incredibly sick, nobody knows how. Sly realises what he has done and then decides to confront his father about what this was for, considering random deaths have been discovered frequently. I dont know the end, but i dont really need help with ideas - that would be cheating. im just wondering if there is anything i can do to help me think straight. Okay, so here's what i have so far:

Ice Cream with Sprinkles

Sylvester Sprinkle was walking around in his father’s ice-cream factory, searching for his little brother’s lost teddy named Charlie. He began wafting through one of his father’s secret drawers when he found a secret file named ‘Poison’. He picked it up and saw a formula for poisonous ice-cream that showed no trace of the poison. He liked it. You see, Sly, being one of the smartest kids in his school, understood just about everything he heard or saw. He was tall, about 5’ 7’’ and age 14. His face was clear, and had extremely light blue eyes and blonde hair with black accents. He also volunteers for almost everything possible. But he was thirsty for something bad, considering he and everyone in his family was thought to be so good and perfect. So, he decided to take this opportunity to strike; to cause pain, death, and violence.

He began his rampage by grabbing the formula and photo-copying it. Then he put the original back and the copy into his backpack. Afterwards, when home, he began studying over the formula. “Add a pinch of sugar and then add the snake venom….”
“Sly, are you in there?” said Sly’s little brother Jonathan as he entered the room. “Might have you found my teddy. I miss him; I would like to have him NOW.”
“I don’t know. Maybe you should go check in that shoe box over there.”
“My teddy! Charlie! And what is this...? New shoes, no way! You’re the best, Sly!”
“Why don’t you go try on your new shoes and show them to Mom. You’ll have a jolly good time.”
After Jonathan had left, Sly decided to devise a plan to begin selling the ice cream. He decided that he would make his first batch at the factory the next day, and then see where things go from there.

**Valigarmander** · 01-13-2009, 09:40 PM

Hmm. Well, I see a few places where your paragraphs could be broken up into smaller ones. With short school papers, it's important to make sure you don't make yourself do too much and just aim for what's necessary.

If you make it shorter for yourself, then you might see the end nearer and it'd give you more power to come up with a good ending sooner. When I'm running out of time to finish a school paper, that's usually what I do.

The Spark · 01-13-2009, 09:44 PM

ok, ill try that. Thanks Val Kilmer. Nah, but thanks still.

nah to the Val Kilmer thing btw.

01-13-2009, 09:33 PM	#1
The Spark Member Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: At the bottom of the shipping address list Gender: Posts: 1,743 Thanks: 156 Thanked 74 Times in 54 Posts	I have Writer's Block, sorta ok, so in Language Arts i have to write a 7 paragrapg fictional narrative. now you're thinking, no big deal right? BIG DEAL. i have half an hour to finish it and are on paragraph 3. I have no idea what to do next. Before I show you what i have so far, i should probably say what its about: There is this totally good family who's father (Mr. Sprinkle) owns an ice cream factor. Goody Two Shoe's Sly (Sylvester) finds this formula for untraceable poisonous ice cream that was in one of his fathers secret file cabinets. so he decides to take it into his own hands. he makes his first batch, but his lovable little brother eats it and obviously gets incredibly sick, nobody knows how. Sly realises what he has done and then decides to confront his father about what this was for, considering random deaths have been discovered frequently. I dont know the end, but i dont really need help with ideas - that would be cheating. im just wondering if there is anything i can do to help me think straight. Okay, so here's what i have so far: Ice Cream with Sprinkles Sylvester Sprinkle was walking around in his father’s ice-cream factory, searching for his little brother’s lost teddy named Charlie. He began wafting through one of his father’s secret drawers when he found a secret file named ‘Poison’. He picked it up and saw a formula for poisonous ice-cream that showed no trace of the poison. He liked it. You see, Sly, being one of the smartest kids in his school, understood just about everything he heard or saw. He was tall, about 5’ 7’’ and age 14. His face was clear, and had extremely light blue eyes and blonde hair with black accents. He also volunteers for almost everything possible. But he was thirsty for something bad, considering he and everyone in his family was thought to be so good and perfect. So, he decided to take this opportunity to strike; to cause pain, death, and violence. He began his rampage by grabbing the formula and photo-copying it. Then he put the original back and the copy into his backpack. Afterwards, when home, he began studying over the formula. “Add a pinch of sugar and then add the snake venom….” “Sly, are you in there?” said Sly’s little brother Jonathan as he entered the room. “Might have you found my teddy. I miss him; I would like to have him NOW.” “I don’t know. Maybe you should go check in that shoe box over there.” “My teddy! Charlie! And what is this...? New shoes, no way! You’re the best, Sly!” “Why don’t you go try on your new shoes and show them to Mom. You’ll have a jolly good time.” After Jonathan had left, Sly decided to devise a plan to begin selling the ice cream. He decided that he would make his first batch at the factory the next day, and then see where things go from there.

01-13-2009, 09:44 PM	#3
The Spark Member Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: At the bottom of the shipping address list Gender: Posts: 1,743 Thanks: 156 Thanked 74 Times in 54 Posts	ok, ill try that. Thanks Val Kilmer. Nah, but thanks still. nah to the Val Kilmer thing btw. Last edited by The Spark; 01-13-2009 at 09:44 PM. Reason: Automerged Doublepost

01-13-2009, 09:40 PM	#2
Valigarmander The Bee's Knees Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: The land of rain and trees (Oregon) Gender: Posts: 29,755 Thanks: 1,649 Thanked 5,700 Times in 2,580 Posts Blog Entries: 20	Hmm. Well, I see a few places where your paragraphs could be broken up into smaller ones. With short school papers, it's important to make sure you don't make yourself do too much and just aim for what's necessary. If you make it shorter for yourself, then you might see the end nearer and it'd give you more power to come up with a good ending sooner. When I'm running out of time to finish a school paper, that's usually what I do.