Metal Man fights IRHP Yet again

[Metal Man]

There he was, clad in silver armor, standing in a ruined mess. Concrete was thrown everywhere; water oozed out of broken pipes. Police sirens permanently echoed in this subterranean limbo.

He was standing there, frozen in time, standing against another battler. This battle had been a strange one; he had been fighting a strong foe with telekinetic abilities, when suddenly that evil Old Man who had been chasing him had popped up.

But then the music stopped after Metal Man sang a tribute to some recent battles. The judges, beyond time itself, however, never saw fit to complete their judgment, and so, he had been stuck here ever since... waiting... wondering... had he displeased them somehow?

He would never know. Even if they had told him the truth now, it was too late to effect this battle, anyway.

His foe had vanished in the meantime, as had the cackling dastardly old man. While Metal Man had cracked that old Man's glasses... he had also cracked the glasses of those judges, who had responded in kind by leaving him there, trapped in limbo.

And that, was no good.

----------------------------------------------------------------

But it couldn't end that easily; not for Metal Man. All that time had allowed him to think.

To prowl the pages of his past. He had thought it over. He looked at what had been good, and what had been bad. And he had come to a decision.

It didn't matter what those judges thought; or what that strange man who had been chasing him could do. He simply had to get out of this time freeze.

He tried to flex a finger--but it did not move. He tried to blink, but nothing happened. He stared for the longest time--it felt like months--at his time device, desperately trying to activate the glowing red clock.

But it would not budge. It was there, forever out of reach, despite being mere centimeters away from his hand.

He had become accustomed to this gray, concrete prison, a land of stairs and now destroyed subway tracks. He was near one of the entrances, and still had part of a ticket booth stuck him him.

He stared some more--he had no choice, he couldn't move his eyes. He wouldn't be able to do anything again at this rate... stuck in place.

...But then, he continued staring. More time passed... and the device began to beep. It was a tsunami of sound to Metal Man--the time freeze had also frozen out sound. It hurt to hear anything again, after that long silence. He had half wondered if it had rendered him deaf, after all.

BEEEEEEEEEP.

The sound of freedom, moving much too slowly for his taste.

He stared some more, pretending he could touch the device with his mind. More days in limbo passed... and the beep soon sped up some more. And some more. And then, a teensy bit more.

One day, it finally broke a wall; a speed limit. You had to break this limit to activate it--otherwise it would assume it was an accidental activation. Otherwise, Metal Man's version of pocket dialing might accidentally warp him into the center of a planet.

So with an insanely loud noise, the dimensional drive activated again, and Metal Man was ripped from his untimely prison.

But where would he go? What would he see? The subway he saw in his warp now was in pieces. He couldn't go far, and he got an ugly faceful of water just for looking at that attractive warp back to a better planet.

He then saw a far more favorable one--the SSS! Of course, they would let him in. It'd all be better, and...

KLONK.

He stopped short, landing in the middle of a bent up pile of track. His time device was shorting--low on power and damaged.

The 6'4" man of steel slowly stood up, feeling like a statue that had been bent out of shape. All his joints felt like they had muscles made of jagged muscles that were now suddenly extended-- a weird, gross feeling. He shuddered as he stabilized himself, picking a jagged piece of track out of his left shoulder.

He wandered in the track, seeing he had healed himself. Now, he was once again battle-ready... and so was someone else.

Someone he hadn't bargained for on this particular trip...

[I REALLY HATE POKEMON!]

OoC: I believe this may be frowned upon, but I'm just going to post a Wiki of the character I'll be using, Solid Snake (sorry for using two MGS characters in a row):

Solid Snake - The Metal Gear Wiki - Metal Gear Solid Rising, Metal Gear Solid Peace Walker, Metal Gear Solid 4, and more

I'll be posting tomorrow.

[I REALLY HATE POKEMON!]

Wondering in the track, ever oblivious to his surroundings, the man who seemingly appeared from out of nowhere was in danger and he didn't even know it.

Sent on a sneaking mission to destroy a living weapon supposedly rivaling the power of Metal Gear in terms of destruction, Solid Snake's wait for this being was over. Colonel Roy Campbell had informed Solid Snake earlier in his briefing before the current mission that he had attained information pertaining to the location of his target. Information on him was top secret and of the utmost importance for reasons undisclosed to Snake, as per usual. All he knew was that he had better be careful and that he was to fulfill his objective; annihilation of this individual now before him.

He was utilizing his stealth camouflage and, had already prepared some nifty traps just in case his more straight forward methods of attack somehow failed. He was ready. From his moderately safe distance, Solid Snake took aim while with his portable, surface-to-air missile launcher, the Stinger. He locked on quickly and fired. He instantly put away his launcher and equipped his other weapon from the large arsenal at his disposal, the PSG-1 sniper rifle.

Snake watched the missile make contact and explode. Now he was waiting for the smoke to clear before attempting to resort to other strategies...

[Metal Man]

He had wondered why the alarm had gone off in his helmet.

The explosion which ripped into his backside answered his question.

The smoke cleared, and, true to the intel, Snake would see that this being rivaled a Metal Gear in endurance--a single rocket had not killed or knocked him over, but simply dented and mangled some of his back armor plating.

He turned around, obviously mechanical-enhanced joints granting him greater maneuverability than he should have in such a suit. The Man of Steel's blue tinted visor locked on to Snake, who would most likely dive for cover. A shrill, grating metallic deep voice boomed from the suit.

"I JUST GOT HERE. I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING TO YOU. WHY ARE YOU FORCING ME TO KILL YOU?"

The 6'4" cyber-being adjusted his space-suit helmet, before then taking out a shotgun. A hilariously outdated shotgun--but it was long. The kind used to kill elephants--but for some reason, it was pump-action. Surely, he couldn't fire it!

...The man leveled the gun with but one arm. Snake's eyes would widen as he saw the man fire both barrels.

KA-POOOMF! The two shells whizzed at Snake, who would roll out of the way and feel the shrapnel bounce into his back, as the shells made two craters in solid concrete. Metal Man's shotgun smoked as he moved his hand to the pump. Snake wouldn't let him get another shot off like that--just one of those shells might gib the genetically engineered agent if he wasn't careful. So he aimed at the visor, right between the eyes (he could almost see them, lit up dimly by the ethereal blue light).

*PEENK* The bullet smashed into the visor, but it also rebounded off. The Man of Steel was nonplussed by this, as he held the trigger down on his gun. But no bullets came out.

"THAT'S THE LAST TIME I PAUSE FOR DRAMATIC EFFECT."

The man then rapidly pumped the shotgun. KA-POOMF-POOMF-POOMF-POOMF-POOMF-POOMF!

The area erupted in pandemonium as nowhere was safe for Snake. He'd run to one side, only to see entire corners of walls blown out by shells not meant to be used against humans. He went the other way, and a hapless phone booth in front of him simply exploded, throwing glass shards everywhere.

Then there was this red shell Metal Man fired. It had the peculiar effect of bursting into flames and hurling napalm everywhere--some of which would nastily hit Snake, as he never expected such insane ammunition in a mere shotgun.

Snake would take cover behind a bench while Metal Man, still angry, leveled the area around him with shotgun shells. KA-POOMFPOOMFPOOMFPOOMFPOOMFPOOMF KA... KA... KA-KA... KA... KK K K..

The shotgun had jammed. Metal Man, furious, slammed it into a wall. Much to Snake's surprise, the shotgun ripped through the wall instead of being broken in two. Out of it fell two melted shells--he had fired too fast. The cybernetic man shook his head slowly and began lengthily cleaning the barrel, while standing in plain sight.

"YOU STAY RIGHT THERE, THIS WORTHLESS RIFLE JUST JAMS UP OCCASIONALLY. HITTING ME NOW WOULD BE USELESS, ANYWAY."

Of course, Snake hadn't fallen off the turnip truck. This was the perfect time to strike, what with an otherwise unstoppable war machine too busy fidgeting with that gun he loved to overuse.

But he had to wonder--was it just a clever ruse? This being had to have been pretty smart to survive whatever wrecked this place earlier, after all.

[I REALLY HATE POKEMON!]

Snake noticed that his opponent was actually taking his time. It seemed he was in no rush to get the damn thing going again. Snake decided to take his own time as well. He equipped himself with a "Front Evade" nanochip and "Endure" which would allow him to dodge one frontal attack and reduce damage from another. He waited, inching closer to the beast, until he figured he was in close enough range to land a direct strike after dodging one. However, he was also far enough away so that he would not alert his opponent to his actions or let him in on his true plan.

After moments of fidgeting and sneaking, Snake heard a loud, "AHAH." This was basically his signal to go for it. He ran up to the man and was promptly shot at. Snake made a lightning quick dodge to the side and slammed some C4 on Metal Man's face, and performed some CQC moves; a left and right punch, followed by a spinning kick, sending the opponent flying a few feet away. Snake performed a backward roll while the man was still on the ground. He seen the man cupping his face and then activated the C4 explosive.

Snake grunted a mumbling insult. "So much for this face off." He felt kind of bad, making such a lame pun.

[Metal Man]

The smoke was everywhere. But even more everywhere was the sound of the Metal Man.

"WHAT DO YOU THINK THAT'S GOING TO DO TO ME? ARGHHHH YOU'RE GOING TO PAY FOR THIS--SENDING THIS BACK TO THE FACTORY IS GOING TO COST ME A FORTUNE!"

As the grating electronic voice boomed through the cavernous subway, the Man of Steel snapped right back up and ran for Snake. Snake did the easy option and led Metal Man right up to a stairway, which the Metal Man just smashed into.

Snake took a moment to catch his breath, only for a metal glove to fly from the darkness, knuckles aimed at his face. "Holy Cr--" *SLAM* The sound of metal deforming one's flesh would be heard, knocking Snake aside. But the supersoldier was not the only one who could throw punches--he threw one right back at Metal Man, and hit something crunchy and glass like. Snake slowly withdrew his fist... revealing that the glass had survived that attack... and his fist was now on fire.

"GOOD SHOT, BUT IF THIS WAS GOING TO END THAT QUICKLY, I WOULD HAVE JUST BLOWN MYSELF UP BEFORE PUNCHING YOU."

The Man of Steel then got into his battle stance, as did Snake. They faced one another--one was a genetic supersoldier who looked human, while the other was a freakish man-machine with a face that was literally on fire. Snake went first, trying to smash that weird badge on Metal Man's chest with another stick of C-4. But the Man of Steel parried it, then did a ferocious flaming face-smash into Snake's arm--embedding it with razor sharp glass shards and fire. ...Just how was Metal Man seeing all of this, anyway?

The agent would duck back to try and trip Metal Man, but Metal Man just spun his shotgun around with inhuman speed and then swung it at Snake's arm with bone-smashing power. The tunnel resonated with the hit as a wind blew through and blew out the embers in Metal Man's glass face.

Behind the mirror was a still intact face--and a lot of damaged metal bits. Seems it'd take another bit o' C-4 to break this... and the glass was eerily green after that manuever. No time to think though--the grinning madman behind the glass had had enough of dramatic speeches and instead set his hands to 'annihilate.'

Snake hurled a grenade at Metal Man and backed away as the cyborg's hands turned a bright blue. The explosion noisily knocked of some of Metal Man's plates, but it was like attacking a tank--it'd take a bit of peeling to destroy this sour onion.

The dour disturbed disco disaster of a psycho cranked up some furious beats of the Disco Inferno kind, and then, began wildly flinging punches at Snake.

Snake dodged the first few, watching the man-locomotive rip down half of a subway terminal and a massive electric sign. What he didn't expect was when both of those then almost magically flew off the ground and hit him and hurled him onto the tracks into the path of an oncoming subway train before he had time to say "Ow."

The glowing maniac leapt down after him, not caring that he, too, might be hit by the subway--instead, he masochistically ripped up the third rail, getting zapped on the way, and then ran at Snake, trying to impale him with it like it was an electrified spear!

[I REALLY HATE POKEMON!]

Surely Snake would have said more than just "Ow" should he not have equipped "Endure" earlier before the pummeling he took in the stairs. Though things were not going too badly, he was now about to be impaled and/or turned into a fine, red mist. Which wasn't fine. Of course, Snake obviously wasn't about to let that happen and had a trick up his sleeve. Though he was dazed and had little time to act, he placed a Claymore mine right in front of himself, so Metal Man could see it. He didn't care. Getting ever closer (and he wasn't that far away to begin with), Snake decided that a hasty retreat was in order, allowing Metal Man to indulge his masochistic ways alone. So Snake let out a snotty little word before his temporary departure; "Later."

From nowhere appeared a robotic weapon Snake utilized for temporary flight, called a "Cypher". With a smirk, he quickly flew up and out of range of Metal Man. He was a good distance away from the chaos now, but he couldn't see anything while in the air and with his back to Metal Man. He did hear the sound of the explosion as Metal Man ran directly into the Claymore, however. And of course he would survive it. As for the hazards around here, perhaps they could do some more damage to Metal Man if he were lucky.

He dropped off of the Cypher, and kept his back turned to the area he had just fled, where Metal Man would come rampaging after him, likely after screaming something rather scary. Solid Snake immediately equipped himself for the continuing onslaught he would be force fed. What a job he'd taken...This time Solid Snake equipped a Rear Evade. Never know when an attack may take you off guard he thought, and he was planning something anyway. He also figured he could fend off the more deadly frontal attacks, at least a while.

He also equipped something a little different. Something more offensive rather than defensive, which was the only way to make some headway in the situation. He equipped the AKMN. He could use the gun quickly and it was good enough to use for anti-armor purposes, but probably not to the degree necessary for the job. He unflinchingly waited for his foe's next move...

[Metal Man]

Snake would get a great view of something quite unusual as he prepared--the subway train flew at Metal Man, who was holding that third rail. There was a click, and a snap, and then a SMASHBLAMBONKBONKBONKBLAM as the train derailed miserably flipping end over end like a deranged sausage. Flying above it was Metal Man, who had just barely cleared the thing with his motors set to high. His heavily dented face visor shone dimly in the light, as he landed atop one of the crashing cars while it flew through the air.

Oddly, these cars were empty... probably some metaphor for another world's travelers rather than anything sensible. The armored violence unit leaped across the gap, smashing into the ground. Fire and death followed him, as the subway violently disintegrated into its individual metallic components, and wild arcs of lightning from the track blew apart what few bits of glass hadn't been shattered.

And so, Snake would see the Man of Steel towering over him, with a background of lightning and explosions. The visor had gone cold, not showing his face anymore, but rather, a heartless slate of broken glass.

Snake did not hesitate, firing his weapon again and again into the metallic menace. Pieces of steel flew off, followed with red lubricant. But to Snake's annoyance, the towering being was used to this treatment. While extended firing would kill Metal Man... Snake wasn't about to get that chance, with big, tall, and silver breathing down his neck.

"KNOCK ALL THE LITTLE PIECES YOU WANT OFF OF ME. I WON'T MISS THEM."

The man-machine activated his time machine, causing a blue wave of energy to activate. All available devices on Snake's person would begin to report anomalous readings as physics broke and Metal Man became surrounded by a hideous, blinding blue corona.

"I USED TO PLAY AROUND AND AVOID USING THIS, BUT PEOPLE LIKE YOU HAVE RUINED IT. NOW LOOK WHAT WE ALL HAVE TO DEAL WITH. I THINK I MIGHT JUST CRY A LITTLE ONCE I'M DONE LAUGHING AT YOUR MISTAKE. OH, WELL, I GUESS IT MAY BE INTERESTING."

Snake would shoot at the device. But moments before the heavy armor-piercing round could dash the device's weak surface, the Man of Steel dialed in a command, sending a wave of time energy to shove Snake, the round, and all of Snake's stuff into the wall.

This wasn't something he could just prepare a chip for, that was for sure.

Metal Man snickered as Snake went to move away.

"WHAT, GIVING UP SO QUICKLY?"

It was far from that; Snake had another ingenius plan up his sleeve.

Unfortunately, he wouldn't get the chance to use it at the moment.

"LET'S HAVE AN INSTANT REPLAY!!!"

Metal Man pressed his device's button like a mad Super Bowl viewer, and suddenly Snake was picked back up and placed back where he was...

...And then shoved back onto the floor.

"AHAHAHAH. THIS IS ALMOST BETTER THAN MYTHBUSTERS. LET'S DO THE TIME WARP AGAAAAAIN!"

Metal Man pressed the button once, then twice more. Snake would be flung about like a puppet, with Metal Man's rage evaporating. But then, the field would die, and Metal Man would shake his now blank time device's screen.

"DAMN IT, THAT'S THE FOURTH PAIR OF SUPER SPECIAL DOUBLE A BATTERIES I'VE USED THIS WEEK!"

Metal Man began fumbling to recharge his device's batteries, once again placing himself senselessly in harm's way. Snake could probably assemble a small cannon in the time it'd take Metal Man to replace the batteries for that thing... so it was his time to shine, yet again!

...If he could get over being stuck half-way inside a wall from that last throw.

[I REALLY HATE POKEMON!]

It wasn't so much the being stuck half-way in a wall that got to Snake. He pulled himself out of it easily enough, if you didn't count the cramps and added pain to the existing back-wounds from earlier. However, as would be expected from such a violent ordeal, Snake suffered from some whiplash, and bruising. In fact, he thought he may have fractured a rib through it all. No fun, to be sure. But that wasn't the problem; he felt a sickening nausea, as if he'd been spinning in circles for an extended period of time.

He hunched over and hurled up what appeared to be military rations, and maybe raw meat. It was kind of funny, in a way. But he pulled himself together just before it appeared that Metal Man was finished. He gave a cold glare at Metal Man, who was too busy to do more than give a passing glance at Snake. Seems a good old fashioned beating was in order. Solid Snake figured that if he could bust up Grey Fox, he could do something to this guy. He walked toward Metal Man at his own pace and cracked his knuckles.

"Unfortunately, killing is just one of those things that gets easier the more you do it."

Snake threw a left punch and Metal Man caught it.

"CAN'T YOU SEE I'M BUS-"

Didn't quite catch the right though, which smashed through the damaged visor and directly into that which was beyond. The punch was fast and focused, powerful and direct. Though the grip didn't loosen on Snake's left hand, he quickly ducked under Metal Man's arm and twisted it behind his giant back. He wrapped his comparatively little leg over Metal Man's right leg from behind and slammed his enemy down face first into the ground with great force, with Metal Man's own weight only adding to it. As they say, the bigger they are, the harder they fall.

The grip on Snake's arm was relinquished.

Snake pulled out a double-barreled shotgun with both barrels sawed off as he stepped on Metal Man's back and put the Twin Barrel up to the back of his head and went to town. So to speak. Bang

[Metal Man]

The being got up, despite having been slammed into the ground. Sparks flew from his armor, but he just casually regained his previous pose.

"OH NO, LOOK WHAT YOU DID TO MY MARVELOUS FACE."

He looked at Snake, revealing his freakish, mad 70's vacuum salesman visage. Already heavily scarred by past battles, Snake's little fisticuff incident had added another set of bruises and breakage. Oddly, the face seemed almost like a puppet's--not fully alive, not truly there.

In other words, Snake had been punching something other than this thing's true core. Unlike a normal, sane person, Metal Man continued moving as if Snake had scratched his elbow or something. He slotted in the last SUPER ULTRA AA BATTERY OF DOOM as his left wrist caught on fire from the renewed energy.

He then reached at the back of his head, where millions of mostly inefficient shotgun bits had gotten stuck in his armor. He scratched a couple tens of them off, then hurled 'em in his mouth and chewed on them.

"BLECH. YOUR SHOTGUN AMMUNITION TASTES OF CHEAP FILLER. DIDN'T YOU MAKE SURE TO BUY THE PREMIUM BRAND? THIS IS DISGUSTING."

Snake would do the smart thing and try to blow out Metal Man's face with his sawed off shotgun. After all, unlike thick, steel armor, Metal Man's face couldn't repel shotgun bits.

Of course, he was in for another nasty surprise, as Metal Man reflexively raised his left wrist and drank some strange red LED juice out of his left arm. He then rinsed it about his mouth and pressed a button--all in the time it took Snake to pull the trigger once. What kind of trickery was he using?

All Snake knew is one minute he shot something, and the next, a cloud of blue time-fire-engulfed shotgun pellets and broken metal teeth pieces were flying at HIS face instead. His lone shotgun shot went off too early, with the majority of the shot bouncing off of Metal Man's chest.

Of course, this damaged the madman's badge, which led him to frown while wiping flaming time juice from his mouth.

"I PAID MORE FOR THAT THAN YOU ARE WORTH. JUST FOR THAT, I'M GOING TO MAKE YOU PAY... IN PENNIES... OVER THE COURSE OF MULTIPLE YEARS."

Snake was too busy trying to get glowing, flaming metal shrapnel out of his face. It burned much stranger than anything else, and even worse, he felt older just by being touched by it. Clearly, the man had bewitched the metal fragments with aging nanites.

Whatever Metal Man had done, Snake wasn't having it, and went for a grenade.

"OH THAT IS SO CLICH-"

The sentence was uncompleted, as Metal Man fell backwards, burning, sitting on the ground in a crater of concrete. His mysterious ultra-reflexes had failed him that time, giving Snake a well needed break.

Or did it?

Snake would begin to wonder why he saw another Metal Man approaching him from behind... having only moments to figure out what in the world just happened.

[I REALLY HATE POKEMON!]

Snake's face felt old and tired, which was very sudden and strange to him. He was in a great deal of pain as well. Apparently Snake saw Metal Man approaching him from behind, which was lucky enough. He didn't care to figure out what had happened, it was time to deliver an onslaught of firepower from a safe place, and avoid contact with Metal Man, again.

"It's showtime!"

Somehow, from somewhere, a helicopter came to aid Snake, even in such a place. Seems Roy went to great lengths to accommodate Snake, but surely Snake must have remote control since Snake is always on one-man sneaking missions. Snake jumped onto a hanging rope-ladder and used his Grenade Launcher he sometimes referred to as his "Final Smash"; though not likely to be so "final" here and now under these circumstances, this was going to tip the odds in his favor.

With little aim, he scattered fire of his Grenade Launcher, sending three shots around where Snake and the man creeping behind him once were before the helicopter's arrival, and three more in the cement crater where he thought Metal Man had sat a moment ago. He reloaded, and thought he seen a figure standing amongst the rubble and smoke, and fired six more shots there. Snake let go of the helicopter which left immediately, to God knows where.

Snake tended to his face, attempting to make himself more comfortable, though little could be accomplished without proper time and aid. He needed a short rest, time to catch his breathe. Snake wasn't about to wait for his opponent this time, not in his worsening condition, and certainly not with the bag of tricks Metal Man had showcased through the entire, seemingly one-sided struggle.

So Snake opted to hide, something he was quite good at. He would rest, and allow the opponent to let their guard down while on a search for him. There was a mound of rubble nearby Snake, one of a number now. He scampered to his place of choice and ducked into a cardboard box while behind the rubble. A perfectly stealthy strike could end it if executed correctly...

[Metal Man]

The Man of Steel stepped out of the fire, still on fire himself. He had the crazed look of a movie poster, as his freakishly large glare drilled through the rubble with its intensity.

"WHAT DID YOU THINK THAT WAS GOING TO DO? YOU'VE JUST MADE ME ANNOYED! YOU KNOW WHAT THAT DOESN'T MEAN: MERCY FOR YOU. THAT'S RIGHT. YOU'RE GOING UP, INTO THE CEILING!"

The man of steel viciously hurled what he thought was Snake into the ceiling. Instead, it was the hollow shell of himself he had left laying around from that fake-Metal Man trick earlier. It had saved him some damage, but cost him a bit much of his time power. He growled at the mess the now-exploded shell made, while dialing into his wrist.

"HIDING... HIDING... I'M GOING TO BURN YOUR LITTLE HIDE TO CINDERS."

The man clenched a fist so tightly the steel casing around it began to crack. Soon, it disintegrated, revealing a skeletal metal hand underneath. He did this with his other hand, too, and then patted the fire off of his ruined armor. He flexed his now-faster-but-less-durable fingers and struck a disco pose; the broken pieces of his armor fell off, revealing a thinner second layer.

He then stuck his right hand out, palm up, fingers curled as if they were holding a globe.

"WELL, IF YOU CAN'T FIND 'EM... DANCE TO DISCO MUSIC!!!"

A blue glow echoed through the room as the discarded metal pieces shaped themselves into a titanium globe in Metal Man's hands. With the properties needed to reflect light, they cast a Disco ball reflection about the room.

But what would that do? Nothing.

No, it was not Disco time yet.

"YOU KNOW, BACK IN MY HOME TIME, THIS WAS VERY POPULAR. I DON'T KNOW WHAT HAPPENED BUT CLEARLY ALL THESE FUTURE YEARS I SEE SUCK. YOU DON'T KNOW THE TRUE DEFINITION OF GROOVE! WORTHLESS! ALL YOUR TECHNOLOGICAL PROGRESS FOR NOTHING! WITHOUT DISCO, YOU ARE NOTHING MORE THAN HEAVILY ARMED ROMAN SAVAGES!"

The esoteric rant over, Snake caught his breath, then immediately lost it gasping at the metal Disco afficionado hurling the globe into the air. It levitated there. Perhaps by magnets, or tube-based electro-conduction machines, it didn't matter. Metal Man had activated some sort of a music player, complete with speakers popping out of his shoulders.

"WELL, YOU STILL HAVEN'T COME OUT. YOU STUPID, STUPID LITTLE BOY. NOW YOU WILL EXPERIENCE TRUE DISCO POWER!"

In a wildly incongruous action, Metal Man bared his teeth like he was about to rip Snake to pieces (a more Heavy Metal action than anything), only to then boot up Walter Murphy music.

Syncopated Beethoven beats filled the room at an insanely high volume. Debris began to bounce in tune to the song, while a light emitted from Metal Man's right wrist flew up and empowered the bizarre titanium disco ball.

"HERE WE GO, HERE WE GO SNAKE! DOWN THE DRAIN YOU GO, LIKE THE EASY BAKE!"

Metal Man began to disco dance; for whatever reason, this caused the disco ball to glow even more. In the most surreal event sans Psycho Mantis' sanity-draining behavior, Snake would suddenly see the debris form into people and dance along with Metal Man.

Unfortunately, that included the debris around him.

The golems of funk and concrete would then dance and spin... and begin rhythmically trying to beat the funk out of Snake.

Snake would find it easy to beat one or the other back; but Metal Man had only begun this madness.

"YOU LAUNCH GRENADES... HAHAHAHA... DISCO LASERS, ENGAGE!"

The disco ball glowed, and suddenly, violent lasers of red, green, and blue began flying out in all directions. Pulsing to the beat, they were nearly impossible to dodge.

Snake's world would blend into a primary-color infused world of flying around being hit by concrete. It would be akin to being in a dishwasher with a bunch of Disco CDs and laser pointers. Whatever it was, it was incredibly painful and annoying.

Eventually, the Fifth of Beethoven ended. Snake would land on the floor, burnt and smoking from the Disco Inferno.

But as he got up, the Disco ball flew into him and exploded.

The mirrored metal fragments lodged themselves deep into Snake's flesh, while Metal Man disco-pointed at Snake.

"SO, GOING TO FIGHT ME WITH YOUR BRAIN, OR SHOULD I DO AN ENCORE? HUH?"

He then shrugged, revealing that his main armor pieces had more or less taken the explosions, while his face was already a mess and his armor's joints... didn't look terribly armored.

[I REALLY HATE POKEMON!]

Snake's body gave off far more smoke than one's body ever should, which is none anyway; but by the looks of it, one would think somebody forgot a steak on a barbecue pit.

Snake had been hit by lasers of several types before, ones that should have severed limbs, but they were never fun, and this was certainly no exception, despite the beautiful colors emitted during his ruthless beating. The dancing disco creature thing was definitely new to the old killer though.

Despite his injuries, Snake wasted no time rising, and ran at Metal Man while he spouted his death threats. Before he had a chance to fully counter, Snake lunged at Metal Man, rolling at him with his raw, broken body. It slammed into Metal Man with a lot of power, sending him spiraling toward the ground. Snake came at the grounded enemy. "I'm cooked, but you're done." He figured Metal Man would catch onto what he meant by that soon enough. He dropped with great power, plunging a fork he pulled from his pocket deep into Metal Man's throat; so deep the tip could no longer be seen.

Metal Man knocked Snake off of himself with a single, powerful swipe of his hand and rose. Snake was dazed, little stars around his head and all. Metal Man went to pull out the fork lodged in his throat, as it seemed to be more of just an annoyance to him stuck in there like that. He was muttering to himself something about how ridiculous the whole situation was. That momentary loss of focus on Snake's dazed body was a boon indeed. Snake snapped to it quick, and crawled behind Metal Man.

He stood up behind him as Metal Man finally got hold of the fork with his finger tips. He tore it out with an "AHA." Snake snapped to something else rather fast as well. Metal Man's neck. He got him from behind and dragged him down, and did the deed. It sounded different than the usual spinal cord severing he was used to, but dropped the body before him as per usual.

Snake then wiped the blood, debris and sweat from his unnaturally aging face with his trembling hand and reached for a cigarette. He lit it up and calmed down a bit, stepping away from the body with it just in sight of his peripheral vision.

"Jesus Christ."

[Metal Man]

It seemed to have done the trick. Metal Man's defiant, insane glare went cold, and he sank to the ground like the Titanic. The area rumbled with the violent fall, as the man of steel lay there in a pool of rainbow-tinged red blood.

The metallic synapses twitched as Snake finished his cigarette. It all was relatively simple--that man had been listed as such a threat because, despite all the wounds Snake had done to him, it required literally severing the connections between his almost invincible brain and the disposable body it was attached to.

While it would be questionable whether the Metal Man was dead, Snake may have seen his limit; in the reflection of that disgusting pool, he could see this man's battle-worn body. Older than Snake--crazier, too. This man had ripped his body to bits with time travel. Nothing was as it should--a crazy mustache and a mismatched hairdo, eyes askew, and glinting teeth which looked half-normal until one saw the chromed metal underneath some of the broken porcelain covers.

The eyes... they were real strange. Off-blue faded orbs... violently broken with flecks of red.

Perhaps it was blood.

However, the end was only the beginning, as the body began to stand up... with the head slumped forward, unresponsive.

"Oh for the love of..."

Snake would turn to face the techno-zombie, as it faced him with no head movement, thus no eyes, thus no ability to see.

...And it began to march towards him.

What would he do?

[I REALLY HATE POKEMON!]

Snake could hardly lift his seemingly heavy cigarette, so lifting a weapon would be a monumental task. Dropping his cigarette, he swiftly stumbled away from Metal Man, who was more haunting in appearance than usual.

Metal Man seemed to walk normally, but not quickly, so Snake put distance between them. He went back to the collapsed staircase again; plenty more non-dancing rubble to hide at.

Snake struggled to fire a Nikita missile from safety and searched for the zombie man remotely.

He was spotted...

[Metal Man]

The Metal Zombie stood there. A cacophony of static could be heard as the uniquely paralyzed being was targeted. The rocket flew at the mad golem; it flew straight and true, ready to kill him for good.

But then a little nasty thing happened; Snake couldn't believe his eyes, as the Metal undead man grabbed the rocket out of thin air with his right hand. As Snake stared in horror and confusion, he would see the Metal Man Zombie mechanically rip the propulsion part off the rocket with his right hand, then crush it in that hand, making a little burst of fire and fuel spray everywhere.

As the rocket's disemboweled fuel streamed down the sides of the charcoal-scarred menace's shoulders, the lights flickered. A cold wind blew as the effectively headless machine monstrosity smashed the rocket into the back of his neck. A blue fire could be seen as the cave-like subway lit up violently.

The man flew through the air at Snake; his eyes flickered, revealing the mechanical nature--his head was just a puppet for the body below. He coughed reddish coolant as he straightened out mid-air, hurling at Snake. It would remind the old warrior of Raiden, only this person moved more like a flying refrigerator.

...Unfortunately, he didn't have the reflexes of Raiden, so even this 'slow' cyborg poised a problem. Snake would duck, but Metal Man would lower his right leg. He'd knock Snake up into the air, and the two would... continue flying?

It made no sense. It... ...the time device was glowing.

"NOW YOU'VE MADE ME FEEL A GENERIC CLICHE EMOTION. AND I HATE THIS, AND I'M GOING TO HAVE TO RETURN THAT SPINE YOU BROKE, BECAUSE IT WASN'T SUPPOSED TO BE BREAKABLE BY HUMAN HANDS. SO NOW I'M GOING TO GET A REFUND."

"What do you think this is going to accomplish? All I've heard is how you kill and maim random people across time. Won't the world be a better place if you stop?"

"GOOD AND EVIL ARE FOR IDIOTS. THE WORLDS EXIST ON A SYSTEM YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND. TAKE YOUR MORALS AND YOUR DRAMATIC MUSIC BACK HOME WITH YOU AND LEAVE MY BUSINESS ALONE IF YOU VALUE YOUR SANITY!!!"

To drive home the point, Metal Man would spasmodically move mid-air. Bullet time was one thing--but this was laser time. Metal Man's fists moved faster than the eye could see, pummeling parts of Snake the old man had forgotten he even had. Metal fists and knuckles danced all across the weak spots of Snake, feeling vaguely like a rain of nails.

Nails which broke bones, fractured flesh, and tore armor to shreds. A stray finger broke off, stabbing into Snake's own collarbone, before the freakish time-shifted duo smashed straight into a subway wall.

Time snapped back, and Snake would find himself stuffed into the concrete wall, with about ever part of his body alternatively bleeding or bruised silly. Nearby would be Metal Man, stumbling about dizzily near the edge of a railroad platform.

"I ONLY LEFT YOU ALIVE BECAUSE YOU HAVE BETTER THINGS THAN TO MESS WITH MY PERSONAL HELL."

The sound of an incoming subway train could be heard.

"I HAVE OTHER MATTERS TO DEAL WITH THAN YOUR MISSILES. THEY ARE HIGHER GRADE THAN YOUR SHOTGUN SLUGS, BUT STILL NOT DELICIOUS ENOUGH FOR MY TASTE."

The subway honked loudly, as the man walked dangerously close to the edge, cracking it.

"IT'S OBVIOUS THE TIME COPS SHIFTED ME TO YOUR TIME SO YOU COULD CATCH ME. CLEVER, BUT IT DOESN'T PAY THE BILLS."

The mad man would drunkenly clutch his leg and open a compartment, then hurl a pile of gold coins of an unknown make at Snake's feet.

"THAT WAS A LITTLE TOO CLOSE TO DEATH FOR MY COMFORT. TAKE THESE COINS AND DON'T BOTHER ME AGAIN. I'M STILL SEEING TRIPLE, AND I ALMOST WANT TO BARF, DESPITE MY LACK OF DIGESTIVE ORGANS. CONSIDER YOURSELF CONGRATULATED... ..FOR BEING A NASTY LITTLE PRICK."

The man was obviously sour over being caught by that one injury.

But it didn't matter too much, as...

"BON VOYAGE, EXPLOSIVES BOY."

Metal Man gave an insulting mock salute, then drunkenly fell over the side in front of the train, which smashed into something and derailed, leaving a large catastrophe.

...And all the while, it appeared the two had left the Time Cop station, and exited in New York...

...Leaving Snake miserably injured next to a derailed train and a lot of other injured people.

Just what was that crazy man talking about?

[I REALLY HATE POKEMON!]

Snake was unable to respond to the mix of insults and congratulatory remarks by that metal beast in his half conscious state with anything more than a cold stare through swollen eyes. He sort of fell out of the wall to his knees. He contacted the Colonel with the news.

"He got away, I think. I thought I got him; I was careless. But he let me live..."

The Colonel seemed to have expected it. "It's alright, Snake."

Solid Snake would recover, and the Colonel would regroup. All was well for a failed mission.