I might regret this...

Platinum · 04-20-2006, 09:30 PM

Your fav. Chuck Norris jokes...

Chuck Norris went to the Virgin Islands, They are now THE ISLANDS

BrandonTragedy · 04-20-2006, 09:43 PM

Whene the Boogy Man goes to bed every night he checks his closet and under the bed for Chuck Norris.

Shadowed Shards of Light · 04-20-2006, 09:55 PM

Ok, I made this up. (and it's at mike's concert)

One day, after one of his concerts, Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked Michael Jackson for sounding gay. He immediately turned white and lost his nose. Chuck norris then gave him a nose and "accidently" made it too small.

Micheal Jackson still doesn't know to this day.

Valentine · 04-21-2006, 10:54 AM

Chuck Norris won £250'000 on Deal or no Deal without opening a single box.

Shadowed Shards of Light · 04-21-2006, 02:01 PM

I didn't make this up

...and now a random fact about Chuck Norris:

Chuck Norris once had a contest with The Cookie Monster to see who could eat the most cookies. Halfway through the contest, Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked Cookie Monster for no apparent reason.

I've got all my favorites that I didn't make up in a word doc. if anyone wants to see ALL my favorites.

Growing up, Chuck Norris got into fights every day at school. His grandma told him that he shouldn't be so violent. So he roundhouse kicked her face.

(oh, and when I said I didn't make this up, I meant I didn't make it. Someone else did)

Leinad · 04-21-2006, 03:09 PM

don't double post. use edit.

Koga · 04-21-2006, 04:30 PM

When Chuck Norris falls in a river he doesn't get wet; the river gets Chuck Norris.

BrandonTragedy · 04-21-2006, 06:14 PM

Chuck Norris doesnt sleep, he waits.

Shadowed Shards of Light · 04-22-2006, 12:22 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by phobos, the demon king.

don't double post. use edit.

Sorry, I'm still not used to this site. On other site's no one cared so I guess I got into the habbit. Even the Admin Double posted. Thanx for editing it for me.

Leinad · 04-22-2006, 05:32 PM

*knock, knock*
who's there?
chuck norris
chuck norris who?
*roundhouse kick* that's for being a stupid little b*tch!

Shadowed Shards of Light · 04-22-2006, 08:28 PM

Ok, Here's the rest of my favorites. (note, I am leaving out all the ones that might offend the public. If you wish to see the rest just PM me and I'll get them to you.)

Chuck Norris once fell off of Mount Rushmore, invented the airplane in mid-air and flew to saftey.Soon after, the Wright brothers stole his idea and they were found dead. Cause of Death: Roundhouse kick to the face.

One time, while boating in the Pacific Ocean, Chuck Norris ate some bad clams and threw up overboard. His vomit solidified and became Hawaii.

One time Chuck Norris stubbed his toe, and destroyed the whole state of Ohio.

When Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks you, he tears a hole in the fabric of space and time, which sucks you into a parallel universe filled with Chuck Norrises, all waiting to roundhouse kick you back into the normal dimension.

Chuck Norris doesn't just kill time, he roundhouse kicks it.

Chuck Norris shot at 50 Cent 9 times, but didn't finsh him because he wanted to do it with a roundhouse kick to the face. But 50 Cent ran in horror.

One year Chuck Norris impersonated Santa. He would come down the chimney and proceeded to give roundhouse kicks to the face of boys and girls who were awake in a hope to see Santa for real.

BrandonTragedy · 04-22-2006, 11:33 PM

SSoL, next time please edit, this one im pretty sure i thought of it on my own but i could have heard it some where but

JFK wasnt shot, he was round house kicked by Chuck Norris after craking a mamas joke.

I know there are other jokes like that so im not sure if i thought of it or not.

Shadowed Shards of Light · 04-23-2006, 04:07 PM

edit what?

**Dr. Horrible** · 04-23-2006, 04:20 PM

The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.

Shadowed Shards of Light · 04-24-2006, 09:18 PM

Chuck norris thinks the only fear is fear himself. (I thought of another one! yay!^_^)

BrandonTragedy · 04-24-2006, 09:39 PM

In the old days theye used the crank thing to crush corn, but today theye have Chuck Norris use his fist. ( sorry if its not funny, made it up myself.)

Chunky Kong12345 · 04-26-2006, 03:02 PM

Chuck Norris doesn't go hunting. Hunting infers the probability of failing. Chuck Norris goes killing.

Inferno Dragon · 04-28-2006, 11:53 AM

Chuck Norris doesn't solve problems, he roundhouse kicks them.

Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked a man who snuck up on him and as far as I know that guy is still flying through the air.

a meteor didn't kill the dinosaurs, Chuck norris roundhouse kicked 'em all, and when he was done he stompped on the ground, splitting up the continents.

Chuck Norris doesn't roundhouse kick you into next week, he roundhouse kicks you into the next millinium.

Sir Dark, The Hunter · 05-02-2006, 01:25 PM

& now he should do the same to these really dumb jokes. Is there supposed to be a point to any of them? And now for some of my own dumb jokes!

Chuck Norris jokes are kinda like Tom Cruise's acting career, they both had to stop

What do you get when you cross Chuck Norris w/ Tiger woods? Sent to the 18th hole

Why was Ryu sued? Copyright infringement (if you don't get it, then play more videogames & pay more attention to Chuck Norris

What do Chuck Norris & Duct tape have in common: they both fix everything reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeal quick

Inferno Dragon · 05-02-2006, 04:14 PM

^you guys know chuck norris is reading these right now and he will F***ING KILL US!!!

04-20-2006, 09:30 PM	#1
Platinum Member Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Wv Gender: Posts: 1,369 Thanks: 48 Thanked 21 Times in 21 Posts Points: 2,737.24 Bank: 23,885.95 Total Points: 26,623.19 Donate	I might regret this... Your fav. Chuck Norris jokes... Chuck Norris went to the Virgin Islands, They are now THE ISLANDS

04-21-2006, 02:01 PM	#5
Shadowed Shards of Light Junior Member Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: Middle of nowhere, IL Gender: Posts: 289 Thanks: 7 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts Points: 861.65 Bank: 3,114.90 Total Points: 3,976.55 Donate	I didn't make this up ...and now a random fact about Chuck Norris: Chuck Norris once had a contest with The Cookie Monster to see who could eat the most cookies. Halfway through the contest, Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked Cookie Monster for no apparent reason. I've got all my favorites that I didn't make up in a word doc. if anyone wants to see ALL my favorites. Growing up, Chuck Norris got into fights every day at school. His grandma told him that he shouldn't be so violent. So he roundhouse kicked her face. (oh, and when I said I didn't make this up, I meant I didn't make it. Someone else did) Last edited by Koga; 04-21-2006 at 04:29 PM.

04-20-2006, 09:43 PM	#2
BrandonTragedy Senior Member Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: Dirty Looks Gender: Posts: 8,040 Thanks: 212 Thanked 146 Times in 126 Posts Points: 13,723.58 Bank: 97,143.05 Total Points: 110,866.63 Donate	Whene the Boogy Man goes to bed every night he checks his closet and under the bed for Chuck Norris.

04-20-2006, 09:55 PM	#3
Shadowed Shards of Light Junior Member Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: Middle of nowhere, IL Gender: Posts: 289 Thanks: 7 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts Points: 861.65 Bank: 3,114.90 Total Points: 3,976.55 Donate	Ok, I made this up. (and it's at mike's concert) One day, after one of his concerts, Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked Michael Jackson for sounding gay. He immediately turned white and lost his nose. Chuck norris then gave him a nose and "accidently" made it too small. Micheal Jackson still doesn't know to this day.

04-21-2006, 10:54 AM	#4
Valentine Senior Member Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Rural NZ. There are lots of sheep here. Gender: Posts: 6,933 Thanks: 22 Thanked 60 Times in 43 Posts Points: 14,839.45 Bank: 85,943.79 Total Points: 100,783.24 Donate	Chuck Norris won £250'000 on Deal or no Deal without opening a single box.

04-21-2006, 03:09 PM	#6
Leinad Member Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: right behind you, b*tch! Gender: Posts: 1,669 Thanks: 34 Thanked 34 Times in 31 Posts Points: 20,017.00 Bank: 0.81 Total Points: 20,017.81 Donate	don't double post. use edit.

04-21-2006, 04:30 PM	#7
Koga Veteran Member Join Date: Sep 2000 Location: The Netherlands Gender: Posts: 17,093 Thanks: 104 Thanked 173 Times in 116 Posts Points: 106,388.41 Bank: 20,391.94 Total Points: 126,780.35 Donate	When Chuck Norris falls in a river he doesn't get wet; the river gets Chuck Norris.

04-21-2006, 06:14 PM	#8
BrandonTragedy Senior Member Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: Dirty Looks Gender: Posts: 8,040 Thanks: 212 Thanked 146 Times in 126 Posts Points: 13,723.58 Bank: 97,143.05 Total Points: 110,866.63 Donate	Chuck Norris doesnt sleep, he waits.

04-22-2006, 05:32 PM	#10
Leinad Member Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: right behind you, b*tch! Gender: Posts: 1,669 Thanks: 34 Thanked 34 Times in 31 Posts Points: 20,017.00 Bank: 0.81 Total Points: 20,017.81 Donate	knock, knock who's there? chuck norris chuck norris who? roundhouse kick that's for being a stupid little b*tch!

04-22-2006, 08:28 PM	#11
Shadowed Shards of Light Junior Member Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: Middle of nowhere, IL Gender: Posts: 289 Thanks: 7 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts Points: 861.65 Bank: 3,114.90 Total Points: 3,976.55 Donate	Ok, Here's the rest of my favorites. (note, I am leaving out all the ones that might offend the public. If you wish to see the rest just PM me and I'll get them to you.) Chuck Norris once fell off of Mount Rushmore, invented the airplane in mid-air and flew to saftey.Soon after, the Wright brothers stole his idea and they were found dead. Cause of Death: Roundhouse kick to the face. One time, while boating in the Pacific Ocean, Chuck Norris ate some bad clams and threw up overboard. His vomit solidified and became Hawaii. One time Chuck Norris stubbed his toe, and destroyed the whole state of Ohio. When Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks you, he tears a hole in the fabric of space and time, which sucks you into a parallel universe filled with Chuck Norrises, all waiting to roundhouse kick you back into the normal dimension. Chuck Norris doesn't just kill time, he roundhouse kicks it. Chuck Norris shot at 50 Cent 9 times, but didn't finsh him because he wanted to do it with a roundhouse kick to the face. But 50 Cent ran in horror. One year Chuck Norris impersonated Santa. He would come down the chimney and proceeded to give roundhouse kicks to the face of boys and girls who were awake in a hope to see Santa for real.

04-22-2006, 11:33 PM	#12
BrandonTragedy Senior Member Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: Dirty Looks Gender: Posts: 8,040 Thanks: 212 Thanked 146 Times in 126 Posts Points: 13,723.58 Bank: 97,143.05 Total Points: 110,866.63 Donate	SSoL, next time please edit, this one im pretty sure i thought of it on my own but i could have heard it some where but JFK wasnt shot, he was round house kicked by Chuck Norris after craking a mamas joke. I know there are other jokes like that so im not sure if i thought of it or not.

04-23-2006, 04:07 PM	#13
Shadowed Shards of Light Junior Member Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: Middle of nowhere, IL Gender: Posts: 289 Thanks: 7 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts Points: 861.65 Bank: 3,114.90 Total Points: 3,976.55 Donate	edit what?

04-23-2006, 04:20 PM	#14
Dr. Horrible PP&R Mod Current Events Mod Join Date: Jun 2000 Location: More important than where is when.... Gender: Posts: 6,575 Thanks: 112 Thanked 420 Times in 282 Posts Points: 536.87 Bank: 2,782,965.35 Total Points: 2,783,502.22 Donate	The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.

04-24-2006, 09:18 PM	#15
Shadowed Shards of Light Junior Member Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: Middle of nowhere, IL Gender: Posts: 289 Thanks: 7 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts Points: 861.65 Bank: 3,114.90 Total Points: 3,976.55 Donate	Chuck norris thinks the only fear is fear himself. (I thought of another one! yay!^_^)

04-24-2006, 09:39 PM	#16
BrandonTragedy Senior Member Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: Dirty Looks Gender: Posts: 8,040 Thanks: 212 Thanked 146 Times in 126 Posts Points: 13,723.58 Bank: 97,143.05 Total Points: 110,866.63 Donate	In the old days theye used the crank thing to crush corn, but today theye have Chuck Norris use his fist. ( sorry if its not funny, made it up myself.)

04-26-2006, 03:02 PM	#17
Chunky Kong12345 WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK I AM!? Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: ogmftwbqq Gender: Posts: 16,796 Thanks: 62 Thanked 307 Times in 222 Posts Points: 368.64 Bank: 132,867.57 Total Points: 133,236.21 Donate	Chuck Norris doesn't go hunting. Hunting infers the probability of failing. Chuck Norris goes killing.

04-28-2006, 11:53 AM	#18
Inferno Dragon Senior Member Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Planet Draco Gender: Posts: 5,951 Thanks: 52 Thanked 33 Times in 26 Posts Points: 35,013.33 Bank: 23,688.34 Total Points: 58,701.68 Donate	Chuck Norris doesn't solve problems, he roundhouse kicks them. Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked a man who snuck up on him and as far as I know that guy is still flying through the air. a meteor didn't kill the dinosaurs, Chuck norris roundhouse kicked 'em all, and when he was done he stompped on the ground, splitting up the continents. Chuck Norris doesn't roundhouse kick you into next week, he roundhouse kicks you into the next millinium.

05-02-2006, 01:25 PM	#19
Sir Dark, The Hunter Junior Member Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: Don't know, don't care Gender: Posts: 172 Thanks: 5 Thanked 2 Times in 1 Post Points: 10,634.00 Bank: 500.00 Total Points: 11,134.00 Donate	& now he should do the same to these really dumb jokes. Is there supposed to be a point to any of them? And now for some of my own dumb jokes! Chuck Norris jokes are kinda like Tom Cruise's acting career, they both had to stop What do you get when you cross Chuck Norris w/ Tiger woods? Sent to the 18th hole Why was Ryu sued? Copyright infringement (if you don't get it, then play more videogames & pay more attention to Chuck Norris What do Chuck Norris & Duct tape have in common: they both fix everything reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeal quick

05-02-2006, 04:14 PM	#20
Inferno Dragon Senior Member Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Planet Draco Gender: Posts: 5,951 Thanks: 52 Thanked 33 Times in 26 Posts Points: 35,013.33 Bank: 23,688.34 Total Points: 58,701.68 Donate	^you guys know chuck norris is reading these right now and he will F***ING KILL US!!!