Fun at Wal-Mart

Totally Kennerson · 12-03-2006, 02:39 PM

Heh, I got this in an email form my friend...

Mr. and Mrs. Fenton are retired. Mrs. Fenton insists that he go with her to Walmart. He gets bored with all the shopping. He prefers to get in and get out, but Mrs. Fenton loves to browse. Here's a letter sent to her from the store.

Dear Mrs. Fenton,

Over the past six months, your husband has been causing quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and may ban both of you from our stores. We have documented all incidents on our video surveillance equipment. All complaints against Mr. Fenton are listed below.

Things Mr. Bill Fenton has done while his spouse was shopping in Walmart:

1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they weren't looking.

2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the restrooms.

4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official tone, 'Code 3' in housewares... and watched what happened.

5. Aug 4: Went to the Service Desk and asked to put a bag of M&M's on layaway.

6. Sept 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

7. Sept 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told other shoppers he'd invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.

8. Sept 23: When a clerk asks if he or she can help him, he begins to cry and asks, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'

9. Oct 4: Looked right into the security camera; used it as a mirror, and picked his nose.

10. Nov 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, asked the clerk if he knows where to find the antidepressants.

11. Dec 3: Darted around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.

12. Dec 6: In the auto department, practiced his "Madonna look" using different size funnels.

13. Dec 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browse through, yelled "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"

14. Dec 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumes the fetal position and screams "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!"

And last, but not least...

15. Dec 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door waited awhile, then yelled very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!"

Spritedude · 12-03-2006, 09:57 PM

Only 15? Try 101.

Totally Kennerson · 12-04-2006, 12:10 AM

crap.

Demonicus Prime · 12-04-2006, 05:38 PM

Dammit, Kenny! You made me choke on my Spaghettios!

Panfan · 12-04-2006, 07:04 PM

Kenny made someone choke on Spaghetti-o's?

*Kills Kenny*

Stan: Oh my God, you killed Kenny. You bastard!

t3hDarkness · 12-04-2006, 07:11 PM

A group from my college caught a squirrel and released it in Sporting goods.

Totally Kennerson · 12-04-2006, 07:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Panfan el Pwno

Stan: Oh my God, you killed Kenny. You bastard!

Congradulations! You are the first person on the fourm to say that! You get 10 points!!

Zarellku · 12-04-2006, 08:23 PM

I seen my brother's friend act like a hobo and sleep in one of the food aisles, and one of the employees almost called security. does that count lol

deathscythe · 12-07-2006, 04:24 PM

lol that was good.

12-03-2006, 02:39 PM	#1
Totally Kennerson Member Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Falling down all these stairs Gender: Posts: 2,116 Thanks: 340 Thanked 406 Times in 136 Posts Blog Entries: 1	Fun at Wal-Mart Heh, I got this in an email form my friend... Mr. and Mrs. Fenton are retired. Mrs. Fenton insists that he go with her to Walmart. He gets bored with all the shopping. He prefers to get in and get out, but Mrs. Fenton loves to browse. Here's a letter sent to her from the store. Dear Mrs. Fenton, Over the past six months, your husband has been causing quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and may ban both of you from our stores. We have documented all incidents on our video surveillance equipment. All complaints against Mr. Fenton are listed below. Things Mr. Bill Fenton has done while his spouse was shopping in Walmart: 1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they weren't looking. 2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals. 3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the restrooms. 4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official tone, 'Code 3' in housewares... and watched what happened. 5. Aug 4: Went to the Service Desk and asked to put a bag of M&M's on layaway. 6. Sept 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area. 7. Sept 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told other shoppers he'd invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department. 8. Sept 23: When a clerk asks if he or she can help him, he begins to cry and asks, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?' 9. Oct 4: Looked right into the security camera; used it as a mirror, and picked his nose. 10. Nov 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, asked the clerk if he knows where to find the antidepressants. 11. Dec 3: Darted around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme. 12. Dec 6: In the auto department, practiced his "Madonna look" using different size funnels. 13. Dec 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browse through, yelled "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!" 14. Dec 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumes the fetal position and screams "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!" And last, but not least... 15. Dec 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door waited awhile, then yelled very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!"

12-03-2006, 09:57 PM	#2
Spritedude Calibrating... Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: The Centennial State Gender: Posts: 1,424 Thanks: 69 Thanked 84 Times in 51 Posts	Only 15? Try 101.

12-04-2006, 12:10 AM	#3
Totally Kennerson Member Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Falling down all these stairs Gender: Posts: 2,116 Thanks: 340 Thanked 406 Times in 136 Posts Blog Entries: 1	crap.

12-04-2006, 05:38 PM	#4
Demonicus Prime Senior Member Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: I Pity The Fool Who Confuses Me With Someone Other Than YoshiFreak. Gender: Posts: 3,108 Thanks: 648 Thanked 129 Times in 87 Posts	Dammit, Kenny! You made me choke on my Spaghettios!

12-04-2006, 07:04 PM	#5
Panfan AND HE PRAYS Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: Grayskull Gender: Posts: 18,805 Thanks: 1,405 Thanked 2,247 Times in 1,337 Posts Blog Entries: 15	Kenny made someone choke on Spaghetti-o's? Kills Kenny Stan: Oh my God, you killed Kenny. You bastard!

12-04-2006, 07:11 PM	#6
t3hDarkness Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: I weep oily black tears of joy. Gender: Posts: 7,590 Thanks: 119 Thanked 418 Times in 306 Posts Blog Entries: 5	A group from my college caught a squirrel and released it in Sporting goods.

12-04-2006, 08:23 PM	#8
Zarellku Junior Member Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: Middle of now-here Gender: Posts: 157 Thanks: 1 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts	I seen my brother's friend act like a hobo and sleep in one of the food aisles, and one of the employees almost called security. does that count lol

12-07-2006, 04:24 PM	#9
deathscythe Senior Member Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: This question always has been creepy Gender: Posts: 8,600 Thanks: 235 Thanked 153 Times in 134 Posts	lol that was good.