Tasteless Jokes (WARNING: Parental Advisory) - Page 2

Eric · 11-29-2007, 03:53 PM

A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says why the long face?

Wootmaster · 11-29-2007, 05:11 PM

I think You might want to check that picture Ace made again kingeric

X-3 · 11-30-2007, 07:21 AM

What's the difference between a dead baby and a BMW?

A BMW isn't parked in Crazy Uncle Jimbo's garage.

Darunia00 · 12-03-2007, 02:39 PM

Q: What has nine arms and sucks?

A: Def Leppard

**Booyakasha** · 12-03-2007, 02:49 PM

Q: What's the difference between an onion and a hooker?

A: I didn't cry when I cut that bitch up.

Eric · 12-03-2007, 04:25 PM

why did the baby cry

it was dead

***Ace Mercury*** · 12-03-2007, 06:10 PM

That's... very good for a first try. Here is a ball. Why don't you bounce it?

---

Q: What's the difference between a circus and a whorehouse?

A: One is a cunning array of stunts.

Get a new Kirby today! · 12-03-2007, 06:29 PM

Wanna hear the biggest joke?

Women's rights. OOOOOOOOOOH!

THIS IS A JOKE, NOONE TAKE THIS SERIOUSLY.

**Dr. Horrible** · 12-04-2007, 02:08 PM

Q:Why did Jesus get all the ladies?

A: He was hung like this

.

X-3 · 12-04-2007, 04:37 PM

What's old, but still great?
Prostitution.

Darunia00 · 12-04-2007, 05:22 PM

Jesus walks into a hotel and up to the check-in desk. He puts three nails on the the desk and asks the concierge, "Think this will put me up for the night?"

Jigsaw · 12-04-2007, 05:34 PM

There was was a lady from Eget
She found herself quite pregnant
She lived a fun life,
Had the kid with no strife,
But it died, and she had cancer, malignant.

***Ace Mercury*** · 12-07-2007, 01:11 PM

Q: What separates man from the animals?

A: A condom, hopefully.

Adam West · 12-07-2007, 02:27 PM

Why did the baby fall out of the tree?
Cos it was dead.

Why did the second baby fall out of the tree?
Cos it was tied to the first.

Why did the third baby fall out of the tree?
Cos it wanted too.

Why did the fourth baby fall out of the tree?
Peer Pressure.

Why did the Monkey fall out of the tree?
It was doing an impression of a baby.

What is worse than a Dumpster full of dead babies?
A dumpster full of dead babies with a live one at the bottom eating it's way out.

***Ace Mercury*** · 12-07-2007, 02:39 PM

Q: How do you make a dead baby float?

A: One cup root beer, two scoops dead baby.

MASALOBOTOMY · 12-08-2007, 05:44 PM

How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb?

Doesn't matter, feminists can't change anything!

***ZeldaGirl*** · 12-08-2007, 08:13 PM

^That made me literally LAUGH. OUT. LOUD. HARD.

User Name · 12-08-2007, 08:34 PM

Ooh! A perfect place to put the jokes my friends and I say on a daily basis.

What did Helen Keller say as she fell off the cliff?
I don't know, she was wearing mittens.

What did Helen Keller do when she fell down the well?
She screamed and screamed until her hands turned blue.

How do Helen Keller's parents punish her?
A. Nailing a doorknob to a wall
B. Rearranging the funiture
C. Putting a plunger in the toilet

How do you drive Helen Keller crazy?
A. Ask her to read a basketball
B. Tell her to find the penny in the corner of a circular room
C. Tell her to read a stucco wall

Why did Helen Keller's dog run away?
You would too if your name was Arghaharraahrrragaharrr.

How did Helen Keller break her arm while driving?
She tried to read the stop sign.

Why can't Helen Keller drive?
Because she's a woman.

And a bad one:
Spoiler Below

Why does Helen Keller masturbate with one hand?
Because she moans with the other.

**Dylan** · 12-13-2007, 09:09 PM

-You know why JFK wouldn't have been a good boxer?
He couldn't take a shot to the head.

-You know what JFK and Bill Clinton had in common?
They both had their heads blown off in the back of a limo.

-You know what else JFK and Bill Clinton had in common?
Both of their careers ended with a stained dress.

-You know what JFK Jr. missed most about Martha's Vineyard?
The runway.

-You know where the Kennedys like to spend their vacations?
All over Martha's Vineyard.

-You know how you pierce Rosie O'Donnell's ear?
With a harpoon.

-So the good Rev. Fuzz is walking down the street one day and notices a female member of his congregation, getting blasted out of her mind. So he walks inside and steps up to her.
"Ma'am, I don't think this is a proper place for a member of my congregation to be," he says. "I'm taking you home before you get hurt."
"Oookaaaay!" she says, slurring her speech. He puts her arm around his shoulder and helps her outside. On the way out, she trips and falls, pulling him down with her with her dress hiked up.
"Hey buddy, we don't allow that kind of thing here!" the bartender says.
"But sir, you don't understand! I'm Pastor Fuzz!"
The bartender says, "Well buddy, if you're that far, you might as well finish the job!"

More to come later.

-Dylan

Jigsaw · 12-13-2007, 09:56 PM

^Those were all absolutely hilarious. Now I'm going to steal them.

11-30-2007, 07:21 AM	#23
X-3 Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: Brigade HQ Gender: Posts: 9,655 Thanks: 342 Thanked 395 Times in 287 Posts Blog Entries: 5 Points: 23,817.49 Bank: 0.00 Total Points: 23,817.49 Donate	What's the difference between a dead baby and a BMW? A BMW isn't parked in Crazy Uncle Jimbo's garage. Last edited by X-3; 11-30-2007 at 04:02 PM.

12-03-2007, 02:49 PM	#25
Booyakasha Mod of War Join Date: Nov 2000 Location: Wisconsinland Gender: Posts: 7,000 Thanks: 84 Thanked 455 Times in 262 Posts Points: 14,338.39 Bank: 39,669.23 Total Points: 54,007.62 Donate	Q: What's the difference between an onion and a hooker? A: I didn't cry when I cut that bitch up. __________________ Boo--the only dude bad enough to rescue the president

12-07-2007, 01:11 PM	#33
*Ace Mercury* Marshmallow Knight ☆ Supermod Join Date: Jun 2000 Location: Southern Ontario Gender: Posts: 19,112 Thanks: 370 Thanked 1,577 Times in 816 Posts Blog Entries: 1 Points: 109,936.83 Bank: 22,995,259.87 Total Points: 23,105,196.70 Donate	Safety first. Q: What separates man from the animals? A: A condom, hopefully.

12-07-2007, 02:39 PM	#35
*Ace Mercury* Marshmallow Knight ☆ Supermod Join Date: Jun 2000 Location: Southern Ontario Gender: Posts: 19,112 Thanks: 370 Thanked 1,577 Times in 816 Posts Blog Entries: 1 Points: 109,936.83 Bank: 22,995,259.87 Total Points: 23,105,196.70 Donate	*rimshot* Q: How do you make a dead baby float? A: One cup root beer, two scoops dead baby.

12-13-2007, 09:09 PM	#39
Dylan Banned Mod Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Teenage Wasteland Gender: Posts: 6,389 Thanks: 1,018 Thanked 1,010 Times in 464 Posts Points: 38,975.25 Bank: 0.00 Total Points: 38,975.26 Donate	I was born for this thread. -You know why JFK wouldn't have been a good boxer? He couldn't take a shot to the head. -You know what JFK and Bill Clinton had in common? They both had their heads blown off in the back of a limo. -You know what else JFK and Bill Clinton had in common? Both of their careers ended with a stained dress. -You know what JFK Jr. missed most about Martha's Vineyard? The runway. -You know where the Kennedys like to spend their vacations? All over Martha's Vineyard. -You know how you pierce Rosie O'Donnell's ear? With a harpoon. -So the good Rev. Fuzz is walking down the street one day and notices a female member of his congregation, getting blasted out of her mind. So he walks inside and steps up to her. "Ma'am, I don't think this is a proper place for a member of my congregation to be," he says. "I'm taking you home before you get hurt." "Oookaaaay!" she says, slurring her speech. He puts her arm around his shoulder and helps her outside. On the way out, she trips and falls, pulling him down with her with her dress hiked up. "Hey buddy, we don't allow that kind of thing here!" the bartender says. "But sir, you don't understand! I'm Pastor Fuzz!" The bartender says, "Well buddy, if you're that far, you might as well finish the job!" More to come later. -Dylan

11-29-2007, 03:53 PM	#21
Eric Member Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: chained to shane's doghouse outside Gender: Posts: 1,035 Thanks: 130 Thanked 44 Times in 37 Posts Points: 7,876.92 Bank: 104.05 Total Points: 7,980.97 Donate	A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says why the long face?

11-29-2007, 05:11 PM	#22
Wootmaster Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: lo-ca-tion; Noun- 1. a place or situation occupied: That house is in a fine location Gender: Posts: 6,543 Thanks: 351 Thanked 463 Times in 359 Posts Points: 5,167.57 Bank: 79,374.50 Total Points: 84,542.08 Donate	I think You might want to check that picture Ace made again kingeric

12-03-2007, 02:39 PM	#24
Darunia00 Senior Member Join Date: Jun 2000 Location: Boston Gender: Posts: 4,315 Thanks: 1 Thanked 4 Times in 2 Posts Points: 2,567.45 Bank: 653.27 Total Points: 3,220.72 Donate	Q: What has nine arms and sucks? A: Def Leppard

12-03-2007, 04:25 PM	#26
Eric Member Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: chained to shane's doghouse outside Gender: Posts: 1,035 Thanks: 130 Thanked 44 Times in 37 Posts Points: 7,876.92 Bank: 104.05 Total Points: 7,980.97 Donate	why did the baby cry it was dead

12-03-2007, 06:10 PM	#27
*Ace Mercury* Marshmallow Knight ☆ Supermod Join Date: Jun 2000 Location: Southern Ontario Gender: Posts: 19,112 Thanks: 370 Thanked 1,577 Times in 816 Posts Blog Entries: 1 Points: 109,936.83 Bank: 22,995,259.87 Total Points: 23,105,196.70 Donate	That's... very good for a first try. Here is a ball. Why don't you bounce it? --- Q: What's the difference between a circus and a whorehouse? A: One is a cunning array of stunts.

12-03-2007, 06:29 PM	#28
Get a new Kirby today! Senior Member Join Date: May 2007 Location: Probably eating. Gender: Posts: 4,030 Thanks: 413 Thanked 122 Times in 86 Posts Blog Entries: 2 Points: 1,999.53 Bank: 6,026.16 Total Points: 8,025.69 Donate	Wanna hear the biggest joke? Women's rights. OOOOOOOOOOH! THIS IS A JOKE, NOONE TAKE THIS SERIOUSLY.

12-04-2007, 02:08 PM	#29
Dr. Horrible PP&R Mod Current Events Mod Join Date: Jun 2000 Location: More important than where is when.... Gender: Posts: 6,733 Thanks: 127 Thanked 458 Times in 302 Posts Points: 2,955.40 Bank: 3,899,087.98 Total Points: 3,902,043.38 Donate	Q:Why did Jesus get all the ladies? A: He was hung like this .

12-04-2007, 04:37 PM	#30
X-3 Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: Brigade HQ Gender: Posts: 9,655 Thanks: 342 Thanked 395 Times in 287 Posts Blog Entries: 5 Points: 23,817.49 Bank: 0.00 Total Points: 23,817.49 Donate	What's old, but still great? Prostitution.

12-04-2007, 05:22 PM	#31
Darunia00 Senior Member Join Date: Jun 2000 Location: Boston Gender: Posts: 4,315 Thanks: 1 Thanked 4 Times in 2 Posts Points: 2,567.45 Bank: 653.27 Total Points: 3,220.72 Donate	Jesus walks into a hotel and up to the check-in desk. He puts three nails on the the desk and asks the concierge, "Think this will put me up for the night?"

12-04-2007, 05:34 PM	#32
Jigsaw Hello, VGF. I want to play a game... Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Ha ha ha ha ha... Gender: Posts: 6,050 Thanks: 742 Thanked 442 Times in 321 Posts Blog Entries: 3 Points: 2,577.05 Bank: 25,844.13 Total Points: 28,421.18 Donate	There was was a lady from Eget She found herself quite pregnant She lived a fun life, Had the kid with no strife, But it died, and she had cancer, malignant.

12-07-2007, 02:27 PM	#34
Adam West Mayor of Quahog Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: In my Batmobile. Gender: Posts: 12,078 Thanks: 448 Thanked 385 Times in 264 Posts Blog Entries: 1 Points: 73,606.53 Bank: 2,382,339.63 Total Points: 2,455,946.15 Donate	Why did the baby fall out of the tree? Cos it was dead. Why did the second baby fall out of the tree? Cos it was tied to the first. Why did the third baby fall out of the tree? Cos it wanted too. Why did the fourth baby fall out of the tree? Peer Pressure. Why did the Monkey fall out of the tree? It was doing an impression of a baby. What is worse than a Dumpster full of dead babies? A dumpster full of dead babies with a live one at the bottom eating it's way out.

12-08-2007, 05:44 PM	#36
MASALOBOTOMY Anime & Cartoon Mod Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: In my pants Gender: Posts: 2,108 Thanks: 883 Thanked 226 Times in 146 Posts Points: 12,559.26 Bank: 12,704.24 Total Points: 25,263.50 Donate	How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? Doesn't matter, feminists can't change anything!

12-08-2007, 08:13 PM	#37
*ZeldaGirl* Venting SuperMod Join Date: Jun 2001 Location: Why do YOU want to know...? Gender: Posts: 12,392 Thanks: 548 Thanked 911 Times in 619 Posts Points: 35,811.50 Bank: 649,444.26 Total Points: 685,255.76 Donate	^That made me literally LAUGH. OUT. LOUD. HARD.

12-08-2007, 08:34 PM	#38
User Name Senior Member Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: Some say hell, I say paradise. Gender: Posts: 6,310 Thanks: 236 Thanked 300 Times in 217 Posts Points: 3,551.73 Bank: 63,055.92 Total Points: 66,607.64 Donate	Ooh! A perfect place to put the jokes my friends and I say on a daily basis. What did Helen Keller say as she fell off the cliff? I don't know, she was wearing mittens. What did Helen Keller do when she fell down the well? She screamed and screamed until her hands turned blue. How do Helen Keller's parents punish her? A. Nailing a doorknob to a wall B. Rearranging the funiture C. Putting a plunger in the toilet How do you drive Helen Keller crazy? A. Ask her to read a basketball B. Tell her to find the penny in the corner of a circular room C. Tell her to read a stucco wall Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? You would too if your name was Arghaharraahrrragaharrr. How did Helen Keller break her arm while driving? She tried to read the stop sign. Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's a woman. And a bad one: Spoiler Below Why does Helen Keller masturbate with one hand? Because she moans with the other.

12-13-2007, 09:56 PM	#40
Jigsaw Hello, VGF. I want to play a game... Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Ha ha ha ha ha... Gender: Posts: 6,050 Thanks: 742 Thanked 442 Times in 321 Posts Blog Entries: 3 Points: 2,577.05 Bank: 25,844.13 Total Points: 28,421.18 Donate	^Those were all absolutely hilarious. Now I'm going to steal them.