Oh my. The goths are coming, the goths are coming.

[Super_Mario_1987]

^ SUPER UBER DUPER GOTH!

lol jk. I had like 4 or 5 checks I can't remember... there are some really weird goths in our town, not to change the subject. I don't know they just do some weird and odd things. Some were on the list... oh well.

[Heroine of the Dragon]

OHNOES!! I'm wearing a black top and I don't like sunlight and I'm on the internet. ...I gotta stop listing these otherwise I'll need an... intervention.

[Kain Highwind]

-Frequently wears black clothing.
OGM MY BLACK SHIRT W/ SPONGBOB N BLACK CLOGS AND PANTS MAKE ME GOLFIC!1

- Shows an interest in piercings or tattoos.
I got pierced ears. Oh Noes!

- Complains of boredom.
Because there isn't NOTHING to do!

- Sleeps too excessively or too little.
Because i'm TIRED or HYPER.

- Is excessively awake during the night.
BECAUSE OF SUGAR!13132NHJFBVHFRDBNGBHJEWB

- Demands an unusual amount of privacy.
Because people bug me sometimes, and I am not all that socialble to begin with.

- Spends large amounts of time alone.
Nobody will play with me.

- Requests time alone and quietness.
Because sadly, I like having me time to talk to Intro or watch TV.

- Insists on spending time with friends while unaccompanied by an adult.
Because it isn't cool to have your parents there when you're watching a movie, and they complain how boring it is.

- Eats excessively or too little.
I'm sometimes starving, I'm sometimes full. What is normal eating, anyway?

- Eats goth- related foods. Count Chocula cereal is an example of this.
[img]graemlins/lol.gif[/img]

- Watches cable television or any other corrupted media sources.
My family isn't made out of money. Sorry we can't afford your Pray-Per-View.

- Plays videos games that contains violence or role-playing nature.
Yeah, EarthBound is the devil's game.

- Uses the internet excessively and frequently makes time for the computer.
To get on TEH VGF!!!

Wow. <<;;;

I would add the depression one, but I don't think about killing myself.

[Codiekitty]

- Frequently wears black clothing.

Well, I have lots of black T-shirts.

- Shows a declining interest in wholesome activities, such as: the Bible, prayer, church or sports.

I wouldn't call myself a religious person, but I also wouldn't call myself a Satanist. I pray when I feel I've done something really wrong, but I can't stand Gospel. And sports are overrated.

- Cuts, burns or partakes in any other method of self-mutilation. (This is a Satanic ritual that uses pain to detract from the light of God and His love. Please seek immediate attention for this at your local mental health center.)

I do this, but because I raised to give myself a concussion, gnaw off my fingers, or gouge out an artery with a car key before I complained somebody was doing something that was driving me insane, such as loudly popping their gum.

- Demands an unusual amount of privacy.
- Spends large amounts of time alone.

Well, I don't have a lot of friends, so all I can really do IS spend large amounts of time alone.

- Requests time alone and quietness. (This is so that your child may speak to evil sprits.)

This one is just a pile of bull. Everybody has one of those days where they want nothing more than to be left the hell alone. I had one today, myself.

- Eats excessively or too little.

I'm not much of an eater. Now, I love a good meal, such as. But around the house, most of my meals consist of a bag of chips and a bottle of refrigerated water. Why I only weight 150 is beyond me.

- Eats goth- related foods. Count Chocula cereal is an example of this. (Count Chocula makes you communicate with the devil)

This one's just hilarious.

- Watches cable television or any other corrupted media sources. (Ask your local church for proper programs that your child may watch.)
- Plays videos games that contains violence or role-playing nature.
- Uses the internet excessively and frequently makes time for the computer.

That's me right there. I guess any real game can be said to have violence in it.

- Pursues dangerous cult religions. Such include: Satanism, Scientology, Philosophy, Paganism, Wicca, Hinduism and Buddhism.

...


Where are these lemmings going? The Super Nintendo Super Shire! Hop in line and follow them there!

[Beam Yosho the Drunkard]

- Frequently wears black clothing.

Well, I have TWO black shirts. Plus, Three red shirt s and two blue shirts. And two pairs of pants. There's my wardrobe.

- Wears band and/or rock t- shirts.

Well, sorta. Back in Alaska, there was a band called "Fearless Leader" and I bought one of their T-shirts. [img]tongue.gif[/img]

- Wears any odd, silver jewelry or symbols. Some of these include: reversed crosses, pentagrams, pentacles, ankhs or various other Satanic worshipping symbols.

Well, a ring and a necklace, representing a band who's name I've forgotten. And I guess a hanging wallet chain would count as well.

- Shows an interest in piercings or tattoos.

Have none, but I actually do take an interest in them. Eh. Dunno why.

- Listens to gothic or any other anti-social genres of music. (Marilyn Manson claims to be the anti-Christ, and publicly speaks against the Lord. Please discard any such albums IMMEDIATELY.)

Ehhh.... some rock, including System of a Down.

What's odd is that Marilyn Manson is actually a pretty normal guy, despite his music and wardrobe.

- Associates with other people that dress, act or speak eccentrically.

Well, yeah. [img]tongue.gif[/img]

- Shows a declining interest in wholesome activities, such as: the Bible, prayer, church or sports.

I guess my life is supposed to revolve around the Bible....and sports. Yeah, right.
The reason I don't do such hings is because the church here is; 1. Hard to find. 2. Some of these "Christians" are a bit too freaky. Usually, they are Crystal-meth addicts. O_o;

- Complains of boredom.

When I was stuck at home for 6 hours alone and didn't have any TV or Internet or a car(let alone a license to drive one) to help me out, it's no surprise that the first person I saw in my house, I'd attack them...out of sheer boredum. [img]tongue.gif[/img] Woo.

- Sleeps too excessively or too little.
- Is excessively awake during the night.

Well, I can't sleep at night for some reason. Maybe it's because, oh I dunno....it's 80+ DEGREES AT NIGHT AND IT'S HUMID AS HELL?!
I guess it explains my excessive sleepage as well.

- Dislikes sunlight or any other form of light. (This pertains to vampires promoting the idea that His light is of no use.)

Well, I don't like handing out in the direct sun light for so long, because I burn (no, not not burn alive, mind you.) real easily and hardly tan.

- Demands an unusual amount of privacy.
- Spends large amounts of time alone.

Meh. With annoying a ****ing hell parents, I'd like to get away from them for some time.
And because I have hardly any friends, hanging out with my self is all I can do. Then again, I have VGF to help me out. Heh.

- Insists on spending time with friends while unaccompanied by an adult.

Really? Woah.
Back in Alaska, my parents would always let me go with my friends around town. And their parents trusted me as well (with the exception of one's step dad, who just left after hoarding money, not paying off rent and running off with the money. He said I was "a bad influance.")

- Eats excessively or too little.

Ritalin will do this to you. If I don't have breakfast first before having to take it, I wouldn't be hungry until dinner. O_o
And when I don't take it...well, normal eater.

- Eats goth- related foods. Count Chocula cereal is an example of this. (Count Chocula makes you communicate with the devil)

Well, don't eat Count Chocula. But I do occasionally eat other cereals, with MASCOTS.

- Watches cable television or any other corrupted media sources. (Ask your local church for proper programs that your child may watch.)

I can tell the difference between right and wrong. And my parents are aware of this as well. So I can mantain my sanity while watching this.

- Plays videos games that contains violence or role-playing nature.

Same as above.

- Uses the internet excessively and frequently makes time for the computer.

*Points to sign of VGF.*
*Points to Website.*
*Points at alot of things.*





....Well, looky here. I'm a goth. Yippee.

[Tub-O-Troopa]

We might as well all start wearing black nail polish.

[CaptHayfever]

Ehh, might as well...

Gothic (or goth) is a very obscure and often dangerous culture that young teenagers are prone to participating in.

Which, ironically, is based on the art style used in medieval churches.

- Frequently wears black clothing.

I happen to look stinkin' GOOD in black t-shirts.....really any t-shirt that's not yellow or pink, but mainly black, dark blues, & deep purples.

- Wears band and/or rock t- shirts.

Dang it, one of my black T-shirts has Weird Al on it.
...So, then, I suppose a Sixpense shirt or a Switchfoot shirt would be out of the question as well, eh, eh?

- Wears any odd, silver jewelry or symbols. Some of these include: reversed crosses, pentagrams, pentacles, ankhs or various other Satanic worshipping symbols.

Ankhs? I wasn't aware that the Egyptians practiced Satanism. In fact, I'm quite certain they didn't.
....And how on earth can you tell if a cross is reversed? It's bleeping SYMMETRICAL!!!

- Associates with other people that dress, act or speak eccentrically.

.........................

- Shows a declining interest in wholesome activities, such as: the Bible, prayer, church or sports.

That's right, your 5-year-old daughter playing with her Barbies or your supergenius student are goths because they don't like football. Or football.

- Takes drugs.
- Drinks alcohol.

Yup, good logic skills on display right here. No post hoc fallacies or anything. Perfectly valid reasoning.

- Is suicidal and/or depressed.

If my parents bought into this nonsense, I'd be depressed too.

- Cuts, burns or partakes in any other method of self-mutilation. (This is a Satanic ritual that uses pain to detract from the light of God and His love. Please seek immediate attention for this at your local mental health center.)

Half-truths are incredibly dangerous things, because they lead the reader to believe that the false half is also true. Yes, self-mutilation is an incredibly dangerous habit and anyone practicing it should get some sort of preofessional attention quickly, but most of the time it ain't got diddly-squat to do with Satanism.
Even as a joke, this part of the flyer goes WAY over the line.

- Complains of boredom.

...Riiiiight.
Besides, I would think the standard "goth" would NOT complain of boredom.

- Sleeps too excessively or too little.
- Is excessively awake during the night.

Say it with me: Give me less homework and I will get more sleep. Give me less homework and I will get more sleep. Give me less homework and I will get more sleep.
Are they catching on yet as to why I don't get enough sleep?

- Dislikes sunlight or any other form of light. (This pertains to vampires promoting the idea that His light is of no use.)

Learn your vampire lore. They can take (and enjoy) as much artificial light as there is; but the sun incinerates them.

- Demands an unusual amount of privacy.
- Spends large amounts of time alone.
- Requests time alone and quietness. (This is so that your child may speak to evil sprits.)
- Insists on spending time with friends while unaccompanied by an adult.

Did anyone else hear where they've been talking about puting GPS chips in kids? Yeah, I won't get into that here, because this post is long enough already, but suffice it to say:

- Disregards authority figures; teachers, priests, nuns and elders are but a few examples of this.

See, the only thing that really bugs me here is the "elders" part. I mean, just because someone is older than me, I automatically have to do everything they say? That's a dangerous practice, from any viewpoint, including spiritual.

- Misbehaves at school.
- Misbehaves at home.

These speak for themselves.

- Eats excessively or too little.

You mean Fat Albert is a goth!?

- Eats goth- related foods. Count Chocula cereal is an example of this. (Count Chocula makes you communicate with the devil)

[img]graemlins/lol.gif[/img]

- Drinks blood or expresses an interest in drinking blood. (Vampires believe this is how to attain Satan. This act is very dangerous and should be stopped immediately.)

Another half-truth. Raw blood usually isn't good for the human body, but again, the vamp lore is wrong. They drink for physical sustenence, not any kind of quest for Satan.

- Watches cable television or any other corrupted media sources. (Ask your local church for proper programs that your child may watch.)

I dunno, man, lately it seems like cable is the only source for UNcorrupted media.

- Plays videos games that contains violence or role-playing nature.
- Uses the internet excessively and frequently makes time for the computer.

There are times when you just wanna move to a different state and register to vote just to oust Joe Lieberman. Then you realise that he isn't worth the effort.

- Is homosexual and/or bisexual.

Oh, man, MJ will get a kick outta this.

- Pursues dangerous cult religions. Such include: Satanism, Scientology, Philosophy, Paganism, Wicca, Hinduism and Buddhism.

Philosophy: Not a religion.
Hinduism: Bigger than Atheism.
That whole comment: [img]graemlins/lol.gif[/img]

And remember, "I'm-a Luigi, number one!"

[thunt]

These are so stupid, I wouldn't be suprised if eating meat would be on the list.

[Cham Zord]

I don't feel like stating them, but let's just say I get 27 checks. o_O

[CaptHayfever]

^Largely because some of the items are effectively repeated multiple times throughout the list, right?

And remember, "I'm-a Luigi, number one!"

[King Andre]

That and they're all bull****.

[Super_Mario_1987]

^ lol they very well good be.

[Ace Mercury]

Oh, they forgot to add "Subscribes to Martha Stewart's Living: Goth Edition, prefers soft drinks which advertise more Goth content than other leading brands, and tries to sell you 'Goth Scout Cookies'".

[ZIPPYDIPPY19]

^ If a pale little girl in a black scout uniform came to my door dragging a wagon of cookies, hell I'd buy a box. Two boxes if she had a headless doll with her.


And yay, I am gothic, here me gloomily roar

[JoeTheSnifit]

Wait, if Count Chocula is Satan then that means....TONY THE TIGERS GOD! OH NOS I DON'T WANA GOES TOO HELL SAVE ME MOMMI BY ME FROSTD FLAKES!!!!!!!1

[Super_Mario_1987]

Originally posted by 404 Can Count To Purple Backwards:
Wait, if Count Chocula is Satan then that means....TONY THE TIGERS GOD! OH NOS I DON'T WANA GOES TOO HELL SAVE ME MOMMI BY ME FROSTD FLAKES!!!!!!!1

[img]graemlins/lol.gif[/img] TOCUAN SAM!1!!111111

[Gumby, dammit]

Originally posted by Zipp:



And yay, I am gothic, here me gloomily roar

Woe is I. Hear me weep. [img]tongue.gif[/img] [/sarcasm]
Naw, Toucan Sam is probably Moses. Wait... If Toucan Sam is Moses, then Pharoe is Recees Puffs!

[ZIPPYDIPPY19]

The three kings have to be Snap, Crackle, and Pop then

[Super_Mario_1987]

Or Larry, Curly, and Mo.