Happy Happy Fun Grab n Go! - VGF

The Lava Level Lifeguard · 02-22-2006, 07:37 PM

Okay, ever see one of those stuffed creatures in the claw machine, and it's just-a-smilin' at ya with those big doe eyes and ya think: I want it! I want it! But they're all packed in there like a buncha immigrants smugglin' themselves across the border in those crates and ya KNOW you're not gonna win one, but you play anyways?

Okay, so! I have outdone even the mighty Shigeru Miyamoto and come up with a way to expand gaming thrills to every man, woman, and child on the planet! Oh yes, I have! Picture, if you will: Happy Happy Fun Grab n Go Claw Machines nestled into every supermarket, drugstore, and Taco Bell in the country!

One small addition, though...in my case I would kinda, um...pack priceless ancient museum-quality artifacts inside each claw machine...Now- how's THAT for a prize?

That's right...mixed in with all the stuffed elephants, smiling leprechauns, beanie babies and what have you, we have (gasp) Ming Dynasty statuettes, vintage Egyptian scrolls, maybe a few ancient ceramic 750 BC Greek dishes thrown in there...hoo, baby! In addition to every Joe off the street, you'll get 70 year old museum curators playing, librarians, archeologists dressed up like flippin' Indiana Jones, College deans, you name it! They'll be lining up for miles!

Now...just to letya know that this is not EXTREMELY loony...(its exactly loony) bulletproof glass for each claw machine is a given, as is your standard heavily armed security guard...also a given is your customary faulty and highly arthritic piece-of-crap claw which pretty much cannot pick up a single darned thing to save its own life!

So priceless relics in claw machines- does this all seem pretty outlandish to ya? Hmm now does it? Well in a few months when you're hunched over my Happy Happy Fun Grab n Go Claw Machine with your eyes all bugged out and tryin' ta win the flippin' holy grail on your last dollar, we'll see who's Mr. Smarty Smartguy then, won't we?

And our motto? Indiana...let it go. LET IT GO. (if you can)

Partha Somebody · 02-22-2006, 07:46 PM

and how would u be able to afford enough relics and such to fill each machine?

The Lava Level Lifeguard · 02-23-2006, 08:02 PM

(stares off into space, humming and smiling) Hmm? I can't heeeaaar ya, because I only speak a special money language! Ever hear Gwen Stefani on the end of "Luxurious" when she's talking about "cha-ching! cha-ching!" Well, she was talking MY talk! (As a matter of fact whenever I go grocery shopping I have to write the foodlist down on a check just to get myself to pay attention, so on the line where it says "Payable in the amount of" there's like, avacados and green peas written down the line afterwards.)

But seriously though, Partha Somebody, you've made a good point, okay? Thanks for the input! (and I like to post my wild things just to ponder how people will react)

(thinks for a moment)

Okay, skillfully crafted replicas of relics, then! Hoo hoo! I mean, I remember they used to use a replica for the Mona Lisa to foil the cat burglars, which, of course, is kinda messed up when you think, because people flew 3000 miles just to see a replica, but oh well, they never knew the difference! ( And on top of that my special claw'll make certain nobody wins...) Or, better yet, I'll just rig up a BOXING glove in the stupid thing instead of a claw, and we'll see how people fare then, how about that?

Kibbleking · 02-23-2006, 10:50 PM

What about holy relics? Sure to draw several large, different sorts of crowds. Why not use those relics you actually get off the body of a saint, there are hundreds lurking around Italy, eg "The toenails of Christ" in a small Pisian Chapel.

A few questions: How much will it cost a pop? What happens if a psychic who can levitate things cleans out your artifacts in a couple of bucks? Can you even get insurance for that kind of thing? What if God takes holy, lightning filled retribution for using the sacred toenails? What if confining the essence from warring deitites in a small perspex cage leads to the early beginnings of Ragnarok?

If my money gets stuck in the machine, what happens? Will I get it back? If I shake the box screaming "YOU'VE RUINED MY LIFE YOU SON OF A", what are the statistical odds it will fall and crush me like a bug?

Good Luck with it!

02-22-2006, 07:37 PM	#1
The Lava Level Lifeguard Junior Member Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: BrinkaWillow, Florida Posts: 26 Thanks: 0 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts Points: 1,998.00 Bank: 500.00 Total Points: 2,498.00 Donate	Happy Happy Fun Grab n Go! Okay, ever see one of those stuffed creatures in the claw machine, and it's just-a-smilin' at ya with those big doe eyes and ya think: I want it! I want it! But they're all packed in there like a buncha immigrants smugglin' themselves across the border in those crates and ya KNOW you're not gonna win one, but you play anyways? Okay, so! I have outdone even the mighty Shigeru Miyamoto and come up with a way to expand gaming thrills to every man, woman, and child on the planet! Oh yes, I have! Picture, if you will: Happy Happy Fun Grab n Go Claw Machines nestled into every supermarket, drugstore, and Taco Bell in the country! One small addition, though...in my case I would kinda, um...pack priceless ancient museum-quality artifacts inside each claw machine...Now- how's THAT for a prize? That's right...mixed in with all the stuffed elephants, smiling leprechauns, beanie babies and what have you, we have (gasp) Ming Dynasty statuettes, vintage Egyptian scrolls, maybe a few ancient ceramic 750 BC Greek dishes thrown in there...hoo, baby! In addition to every Joe off the street, you'll get 70 year old museum curators playing, librarians, archeologists dressed up like flippin' Indiana Jones, College deans, you name it! They'll be lining up for miles! Now...just to letya know that this is not EXTREMELY loony...(its exactly loony) bulletproof glass for each claw machine is a given, as is your standard heavily armed security guard...also a given is your customary faulty and highly arthritic piece-of-crap claw which pretty much cannot pick up a single darned thing to save its own life! So priceless relics in claw machines- does this all seem pretty outlandish to ya? Hmm now does it? Well in a few months when you're hunched over my Happy Happy Fun Grab n Go Claw Machine with your eyes all bugged out and tryin' ta win the flippin' holy grail on your last dollar, we'll see who's Mr. Smarty Smartguy then, won't we? And our motto? Indiana...let it go. LET IT GO. (if you can)

02-22-2006, 07:46 PM	#2
Partha Somebody Junior Member Join Date: Dec 2001 Location: Maryland Gender: Posts: 81 Thanks: 0 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts Points: 1,162.00 Bank: 500.00 Total Points: 1,662.00 Donate	and how would u be able to afford enough relics and such to fill each machine?

02-23-2006, 08:02 PM	#3
The Lava Level Lifeguard Junior Member Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: BrinkaWillow, Florida Posts: 26 Thanks: 0 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts Points: 1,998.00 Bank: 500.00 Total Points: 2,498.00 Donate	(stares off into space, humming and smiling) Hmm? I can't heeeaaar ya, because I only speak a special money language! Ever hear Gwen Stefani on the end of "Luxurious" when she's talking about "cha-ching! cha-ching!" Well, she was talking MY talk! (As a matter of fact whenever I go grocery shopping I have to write the foodlist down on a check just to get myself to pay attention, so on the line where it says "Payable in the amount of" there's like, avacados and green peas written down the line afterwards.) But seriously though, Partha Somebody, you've made a good point, okay? Thanks for the input! (and I like to post my wild things just to ponder how people will react) (thinks for a moment) Okay, skillfully crafted replicas of relics, then! Hoo hoo! I mean, I remember they used to use a replica for the Mona Lisa to foil the cat burglars, which, of course, is kinda messed up when you think, because people flew 3000 miles just to see a replica, but oh well, they never knew the difference! ( And on top of that my special claw'll make certain nobody wins...) Or, better yet, I'll just rig up a BOXING glove in the stupid thing instead of a claw, and we'll see how people fare then, how about that?

02-23-2006, 10:50 PM	#4
Kibbleking Junior Member Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: Australia...WOLF CREEK AH HA HA Posts: 77 Thanks: 0 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts Points: 845.00 Bank: 500.00 Total Points: 1,345.00 Donate	What about holy relics? Sure to draw several large, different sorts of crowds. Why not use those relics you actually get off the body of a saint, there are hundreds lurking around Italy, eg "The toenails of Christ" in a small Pisian Chapel. A few questions: How much will it cost a pop? What happens if a psychic who can levitate things cleans out your artifacts in a couple of bucks? Can you even get insurance for that kind of thing? What if God takes holy, lightning filled retribution for using the sacred toenails? What if confining the essence from warring deitites in a small perspex cage leads to the early beginnings of Ragnarok? If my money gets stuck in the machine, what happens? Will I get it back? If I shake the box screaming "YOU'VE RUINED MY LIFE YOU SON OF A", what are the statistical odds it will fall and crush me like a bug? Good Luck with it!