I have to ask here because I don't know where else to turn. - VGF

wariovswario · 12-07-2006, 07:14 PM

I want to tell my mother that I want to move in with some of my friends into an apartment after high school. She thinks I'm gonna stay home for my first year of college but I really want to move in with my friends and earn a living on my own for after high school. I don't want to be dependent on my mother after high school. How can I tell her I want to move out for my first year of college? P.S the college is about 30 minutes away from home....and I am too close to get a student dorm. Plus, I really want to rent an apartment with some friends probably in the same town I'm in right now or at least next to it. Anyone have any advice?

t3hDarkness · 12-07-2006, 07:19 PM

Tell her exactly what you just told us. Be direct and confident. Tell how you plan to support yourself and how everybody will pay their part. Most important reassure her in a subtle way that you don't hate her and you aren't trying to cut her out of her life.

I've been through this situation twice (how depressing), but just to let you know. Unless you and your family well set financially (and your friends are incredibly responsible) you may be wiser to live at home. You and your friends can still hang out even if you don't live with them.

wariovswario · 12-07-2006, 07:37 PM

One of my friends seriously needs our help though...with rent problems. His mom I think is planning on moving away, and he is pretty much screwed with car payments and college. So the only way he could probably get an education and still live around here is if we stay and help with the rent. It'd be three of us...and we're all pretty responsible. I REEEALLY want to live with my friends here instead of my parents house....one because i thought it'd be a part of collegelife and two because I want to help my friends out and have more freedom to do the things I want to do. I don't want to stay here another year with rules. Sure I'll drop by and help around with things that need help with but I don't want to live with my parents during college.

Irby · 12-07-2006, 07:43 PM

I think you should move in with your friends or like t3hDark said tell her everything you just told us.

***Ace Mercury*** · 12-07-2006, 07:59 PM

First and foremost, your responsibility is to yourself. It will be difficult to earn a living, maintain an apartment, and study for college. However, it is important to mature and be independent. If you really intend to do this, have a comprehensive plan; have potential jobs lined up, make sure your grades are up to snuff now. Don't think you can just wing it.

Consider talking to real people. Your school councellor, your local clergyman, any other adult mentors you can reach.

Don't spring this last minute; you need as much lead time as possible. From what you told us, it sounds like your mom isn't going to like this. Possibly because she thinks you're going on some fool idea, and when you crash and burn, she'll have to come in and clean up the mess. She doesn't really care about your friend; she cares that you will graduate from college and get a good job. You say you're all responsible, but what do you know about responsibility, having never been on your own before? Can you convince her you can do this? Can you convince us?

t3hDarkness · 12-07-2006, 08:09 PM

Whoa, a friend in need, not good. That changes a lot, can you afford to support your friend if need be, how far is he along in school and most important do both of you have jobs.

The chances of you being out on your own are severly reduced and money problems could strain your relationship with your friends and your family.

***Ace Mercury*** · 12-07-2006, 08:17 PM

Money is always a tender point with friends; there's a good chance you could lose both.

wariovswario · 12-07-2006, 08:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by t3hDarkness

Whoa, a friend in need, not good. That changes a lot, can you afford to support your friend if need be, how far is he along in school and most important do both of you have jobs.

The chances of you being out on your own are severly reduced and money problems could strain your relationship with your friends and your family.

I can understand that, but if you guys knew the whole story you'd know this isn't exactly the case. And I do have two jobs already, and I am in early college and doing that just fine. The kid who I was going to board with will have one year already under his belt and one more to go. I will have another year to go as well.

t3hDarkness · 12-07-2006, 08:43 PM

Then refer back to our first pieces of advice an tell us how it goes tomorrow.

wariovswario · 12-07-2006, 09:06 PM

Nevermind....everything just came into perspective. A bad thing just happened in the last hour. I can't talk to my mother about this right now. Especially since I just found out one of my friends just got killed and the other one is in critical condition. The one in critical condition was driving someone and they were speeding and went into the woods. What's worse is the girl just got her license and isn't supposed to be driving anyone for at least six months. She's probably going to be arrested for manslaughter.

t3hDarkness · 12-07-2006, 09:07 PM

k kk kkkk

Ouch

12-07-2006, 07:14 PM	#1
wariovswario Don't ban me please. :( Join Date: Jul 2000 Gender: Posts: 4,012 Thanks: 82 Thanked 54 Times in 37 Posts Blog Entries: 2 Points: 104.31 Bank: 417,082.21 Total Points: 417,186.52 Donate	I have to ask here because I don't know where else to turn. I want to tell my mother that I want to move in with some of my friends into an apartment after high school. She thinks I'm gonna stay home for my first year of college but I really want to move in with my friends and earn a living on my own for after high school. I don't want to be dependent on my mother after high school. How can I tell her I want to move out for my first year of college? P.S the college is about 30 minutes away from home....and I am too close to get a student dorm. Plus, I really want to rent an apartment with some friends probably in the same town I'm in right now or at least next to it. Anyone have any advice?

12-07-2006, 07:59 PM	#5
*Ace Mercury* Marshmallow Knight ☆ Supermod Join Date: Jun 2000 Location: Southern Ontario Gender: Posts: 18,945 Thanks: 360 Thanked 1,496 Times in 783 Posts Blog Entries: 1 Points: 98,044.56 Bank: 12,202,050.71 Total Points: 12,300,095.27 Donate	Candor is important. First and foremost, your responsibility is to yourself. It will be difficult to earn a living, maintain an apartment, and study for college. However, it is important to mature and be independent. If you really intend to do this, have a comprehensive plan; have potential jobs lined up, make sure your grades are up to snuff now. Don't think you can just wing it. Consider talking to real people. Your school councellor, your local clergyman, any other adult mentors you can reach. Don't spring this last minute; you need as much lead time as possible. From what you told us, it sounds like your mom isn't going to like this. Possibly because she thinks you're going on some fool idea, and when you crash and burn, she'll have to come in and clean up the mess. She doesn't really care about your friend; she cares that you will graduate from college and get a good job. You say you're all responsible, but what do you know about responsibility, having never been on your own before? Can you convince her you can do this? Can you convince us?

12-07-2006, 07:19 PM	#2
t3hDarkness Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: I've been lost here before Gender: Posts: 4,153 Thanks: 43 Thanked 109 Times in 87 Posts Points: 12,227.81 Bank: 84,629.27 Total Points: 96,857.07 Donate	Tell her exactly what you just told us. Be direct and confident. Tell how you plan to support yourself and how everybody will pay their part. Most important reassure her in a subtle way that you don't hate her and you aren't trying to cut her out of her life. I've been through this situation twice (how depressing), but just to let you know. Unless you and your family well set financially (and your friends are incredibly responsible) you may be wiser to live at home. You and your friends can still hang out even if you don't live with them.

12-07-2006, 07:37 PM	#3
wariovswario Don't ban me please. :( Join Date: Jul 2000 Gender: Posts: 4,012 Thanks: 82 Thanked 54 Times in 37 Posts Blog Entries: 2 Points: 104.31 Bank: 417,082.21 Total Points: 417,186.52 Donate	One of my friends seriously needs our help though...with rent problems. His mom I think is planning on moving away, and he is pretty much screwed with car payments and college. So the only way he could probably get an education and still live around here is if we stay and help with the rent. It'd be three of us...and we're all pretty responsible. I REEEALLY want to live with my friends here instead of my parents house....one because i thought it'd be a part of collegelife and two because I want to help my friends out and have more freedom to do the things I want to do. I don't want to stay here another year with rules. Sure I'll drop by and help around with things that need help with but I don't want to live with my parents during college.

12-07-2006, 07:43 PM	#4
Irby Senior Member Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: Canada, Eh. Gender: Posts: 6,444 Thanks: 306 Thanked 93 Times in 78 Posts Blog Entries: 5 Points: 37,401.68 Bank: 13,387.34 Total Points: 50,789.02 Donate	I think you should move in with your friends or like t3hDark said tell her everything you just told us.

12-07-2006, 08:09 PM	#6
t3hDarkness Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: I've been lost here before Gender: Posts: 4,153 Thanks: 43 Thanked 109 Times in 87 Posts Points: 12,227.81 Bank: 84,629.27 Total Points: 96,857.07 Donate	Whoa, a friend in need, not good. That changes a lot, can you afford to support your friend if need be, how far is he along in school and most important do both of you have jobs. The chances of you being out on your own are severly reduced and money problems could strain your relationship with your friends and your family.

12-07-2006, 08:17 PM	#7
*Ace Mercury* Marshmallow Knight ☆ Supermod Join Date: Jun 2000 Location: Southern Ontario Gender: Posts: 18,945 Thanks: 360 Thanked 1,496 Times in 783 Posts Blog Entries: 1 Points: 98,044.56 Bank: 12,202,050.71 Total Points: 12,300,095.27 Donate	Money is always a tender point with friends; there's a good chance you could lose both.

12-07-2006, 08:43 PM	#9
t3hDarkness Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: I've been lost here before Gender: Posts: 4,153 Thanks: 43 Thanked 109 Times in 87 Posts Points: 12,227.81 Bank: 84,629.27 Total Points: 96,857.07 Donate	Then refer back to our first pieces of advice an tell us how it goes tomorrow.

12-07-2006, 09:06 PM	#10
wariovswario Don't ban me please. :( Join Date: Jul 2000 Gender: Posts: 4,012 Thanks: 82 Thanked 54 Times in 37 Posts Blog Entries: 2 Points: 104.31 Bank: 417,082.21 Total Points: 417,186.52 Donate	Nevermind....everything just came into perspective. A bad thing just happened in the last hour. I can't talk to my mother about this right now. Especially since I just found out one of my friends just got killed and the other one is in critical condition. The one in critical condition was driving someone and they were speeding and went into the woods. What's worse is the girl just got her license and isn't supposed to be driving anyone for at least six months. She's probably going to be arrested for manslaughter.

12-07-2006, 09:07 PM	#11
t3hDarkness Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: I've been lost here before Gender: Posts: 4,153 Thanks: 43 Thanked 109 Times in 87 Posts Points: 12,227.81 Bank: 84,629.27 Total Points: 96,857.07 Donate	k kk kkkk Ouch