T3h Internets - VGF

ChuckleHuck · 06-04-2007, 01:01 PM

History
The Internets, a magical cloud of information that floats over your head in the stratosphere, was invented at least 100 years ago by Al Gore and pluralized by George W. Bush. Some time around 1981 or 2007 (if you're a FAG!!!1!), some guy in his basement found that he could use his Atari 2600 with his 300 baud modem to get free pr0n and warez. 5 years later, AOL streamlined this process and the Internets as we know them now were born. Only these days, there is way more free pr0n and more warez. It is rumored there may be small pockets of useful information hidden deep in the bowels of the Internets. This has been proven to be false.

The Internets is also unique to history in one way. Any person who uses the Internets has no idea what they're doing on it. Whereas most people who use a car know the basics of driving, no one on the Internets has a damn clue how to use the Internets. While the functional value of the Internet may be debated, the comedic value is off the charts. It has also been scientifically proven that the more you use the Internets, the less you will get sex.

Last Thursday, whilst digging a hole in his basement, at least 100 year old billy goat and Chairman of teh Senate Internets Pwning Committee, Sen. Ted Stevens (R-Alaska) discovered that the Internets is not a big truck after all but actually just a bunch of tangled up tubes [1] and that said tubes are all clogged up with the pubic hairs from all the Internets pr0n. This, of course, explained why his Internets were taking so long to get to him. [2]

He then announced that he was the new Inventor of teh Internets and Plumber in Chief. Then he made a hawt disco record about it. [3]

How It Works
Nobody knows how the internets work, except the Jews, nor do they care, and no one seems to care about the Jews. Extensive research by Alan Turing shows that they can have intelligence and be indistinguishable from people but it has since been deciphered that they communicate in very different ways.

Computers talk like this:

ONE ZERO ZERO ONE ZERO ZERO ONE ONE ONE ZERO!
People talk like this

"LOLLERCOASTER!!!! ^_________________^ ASL"
Neither one makes any sense but sometimes the computers replace the ONE ZERO stuff with BEEPS and BOOPS like on non-cable modems (the phone kind, aka dial-up). Because that travels over speech wires. Cable Modems are faster because they travel over TV. The scrolling stuff at the bottom of CNN Headline News is fast like a cable modem.

How to Win at the Internet
Get Internets (see ISP, below)
Troll
shock images
?????
Profit!!!
Downloads a map.

The Doctor · 06-04-2007, 03:20 PM

Sorry but the "How to win bit" is wrong.
Profit is always last, and "...." is before that.

SephirothKirby · 06-04-2007, 03:22 PM

Uncyclapedia?

Meh, it gets too dirty at times for my taste, however, this was amusing.

***Ace Mercury*** · 06-04-2007, 04:15 PM

gb2 /meme/

ChuckleHuck · 06-04-2007, 04:57 PM

^^^Ah, the script's been edited. Sorry.

^^No, Encyclopedia Dramatica

^ Uh, sorta...

SephirothKirby · 06-04-2007, 05:02 PM

^ Jesus, that's even worse.

Chunky Kong12345 · 06-04-2007, 06:59 PM

i saw a bad word in there

ChuckleHuck · 06-04-2007, 08:59 PM

^More than one, to be quaint!

Crimson_Angel · 06-04-2007, 11:06 PM

Wow.
Amazing.

SephirothKirby · 06-05-2007, 04:18 PM

For the love of God, stop going to Encyclopedia Dramatica, Chad!

GRENTLEMEN · 06-07-2007, 03:22 AM

Sounds pretty accurate to me. Well, with the exception of having forgotten to mention how Shane is our lord and master.

ChuckleHuck · 06-07-2007, 10:28 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SephirothKirby

For the love of God, stop going to Encyclopedia Dramatica, Chad!

Seriously, I think I will.

The pictures are really freaking me out.

...I'd show one but...It's VGF, and I'd feel bad if I did...

...Oh, and stop going to ytmnd! (If you still do...) And whatever you do, do NOT go to 4chan.

SephirothKirby · 06-07-2007, 03:25 PM

^ I never went to YTMND. I hate that place.

Have you ever been to 4Chan?

I've been thinking of going there, just to take a peek.

I'm curious as to what kind of horrid stuff Valigarmander looks at.

ChuckleHuck · 06-07-2007, 03:54 PM

^Don't if you do, life will cease to exist all together.

ORLY OWL!

06-04-2007, 01:01 PM	#1
ChuckleHuck Member Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: Next to this man in rags with a knife. He seems very friendly! Gender: Posts: 1,840 Thanks: 83 Thanked 38 Times in 31 Posts Points: 10,084.12 Bank: 9,859.63 Total Points: 19,943.75 Donate	T3h Internets History The Internets, a magical cloud of information that floats over your head in the stratosphere, was invented at least 100 years ago by Al Gore and pluralized by George W. Bush. Some time around 1981 or 2007 (if you're a FAG!!!1!), some guy in his basement found that he could use his Atari 2600 with his 300 baud modem to get free pr0n and warez. 5 years later, AOL streamlined this process and the Internets as we know them now were born. Only these days, there is way more free pr0n and more warez. It is rumored there may be small pockets of useful information hidden deep in the bowels of the Internets. This has been proven to be false. The Internets is also unique to history in one way. Any person who uses the Internets has no idea what they're doing on it. Whereas most people who use a car know the basics of driving, no one on the Internets has a damn clue how to use the Internets. While the functional value of the Internet may be debated, the comedic value is off the charts. It has also been scientifically proven that the more you use the Internets, the less you will get sex. Last Thursday, whilst digging a hole in his basement, at least 100 year old billy goat and Chairman of teh Senate Internets Pwning Committee, Sen. Ted Stevens (R-Alaska) discovered that the Internets is not a big truck after all but actually just a bunch of tangled up tubes [1] and that said tubes are all clogged up with the pubic hairs from all the Internets pr0n. This, of course, explained why his Internets were taking so long to get to him. [2] He then announced that he was the new Inventor of teh Internets and Plumber in Chief. Then he made a hawt disco record about it. [3] How It Works Nobody knows how the internets work, except the Jews, nor do they care, and no one seems to care about the Jews. Extensive research by Alan Turing shows that they can have intelligence and be indistinguishable from people but it has since been deciphered that they communicate in very different ways. Computers talk like this: ONE ZERO ZERO ONE ZERO ZERO ONE ONE ONE ZERO! People talk like this "LOLLERCOASTER!!!! ^_________________^ ASL" Neither one makes any sense but sometimes the computers replace the ONE ZERO stuff with BEEPS and BOOPS like on non-cable modems (the phone kind, aka dial-up). Because that travels over speech wires. Cable Modems are faster because they travel over TV. The scrolling stuff at the bottom of CNN Headline News is fast like a cable modem. How to Win at the Internet Get Internets (see ISP, below) Troll shock images ????? Profit!!! Downloads a map.

06-04-2007, 03:20 PM	#2
The Doctor Timelord. Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: In my Tardis Gender: Posts: 11,835 Thanks: 379 Thanked 337 Times in 234 Posts Points: 67,587.89 Bank: 1,078,938.78 Total Points: 1,146,526.67 Donate	Sorry but the "How to win bit" is wrong. Profit is always last, and "...." is before that.

06-04-2007, 03:22 PM	#3
SephirothKirby Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: **** YEAH SEAKING! Gender: Posts: 3,730 Thanks: 189 Thanked 236 Times in 146 Posts Points: 19.72 Bank: 88,549.91 Total Points: 88,569.63 Donate	Uncyclapedia? Meh, it gets too dirty at times for my taste, however, this was amusing.

06-04-2007, 04:15 PM	#4
*Ace Mercury* Marshmallow Knight ☆ Supermod Join Date: Jun 2000 Location: Southern Ontario Gender: Posts: 18,931 Thanks: 359 Thanked 1,486 Times in 781 Posts Blog Entries: 1 Points: 97,134.58 Bank: 11,498,264.91 Total Points: 11,595,399.49 Donate	gb2 /meme/

06-04-2007, 04:57 PM	#5
ChuckleHuck Member Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: Next to this man in rags with a knife. He seems very friendly! Gender: Posts: 1,840 Thanks: 83 Thanked 38 Times in 31 Posts Points: 10,084.12 Bank: 9,859.63 Total Points: 19,943.75 Donate	^^^Ah, the script's been edited. Sorry. ^^No, Encyclopedia Dramatica ^ Uh, sorta...

06-04-2007, 05:02 PM	#6
SephirothKirby Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: **** YEAH SEAKING! Gender: Posts: 3,730 Thanks: 189 Thanked 236 Times in 146 Posts Points: 19.72 Bank: 88,549.91 Total Points: 88,569.63 Donate	^ Jesus, that's even worse.

06-04-2007, 06:59 PM	#7
Chunky Kong12345 BEEP BEEP I'M A JEEP Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: ogmftwbqq Gender: Posts: 16,405 Thanks: 61 Thanked 207 Times in 150 Posts Points: 1,656.25 Bank: 80,535.77 Total Points: 82,192.02 Donate	i saw a bad word in there

06-04-2007, 08:59 PM	#8
ChuckleHuck Member Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: Next to this man in rags with a knife. He seems very friendly! Gender: Posts: 1,840 Thanks: 83 Thanked 38 Times in 31 Posts Points: 10,084.12 Bank: 9,859.63 Total Points: 19,943.75 Donate	^More than one, to be quaint!

06-04-2007, 11:06 PM	#9
Crimson_Angel Junior Member Join Date: May 2007 Location: Thunderclan camp Gender: Posts: 65 Thanks: 13 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts Points: 8.00 Bank: 741.30 Total Points: 749.30 Donate	Wow. Amazing.

06-05-2007, 04:18 PM	#10
SephirothKirby Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: **** YEAH SEAKING! Gender: Posts: 3,730 Thanks: 189 Thanked 236 Times in 146 Posts Points: 19.72 Bank: 88,549.91 Total Points: 88,569.63 Donate	For the love of God, stop going to Encyclopedia Dramatica, Chad!

06-07-2007, 03:22 AM	#11
GRENTLEMEN Retro Nintendo Supermod Art & Literature Mod Metroid Mod Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: I rub my tilde all over your asterisk Gender: Posts: 15,831 Thanks: 449 Thanked 1,133 Times in 618 Posts Points: 4,736.37 Bank: 1,759,285.16 Total Points: 1,764,021.53 Donate	Sounds pretty accurate to me. Well, with the exception of having forgotten to mention how Shane is our lord and master.

06-07-2007, 03:25 PM	#13
SephirothKirby Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: **** YEAH SEAKING! Gender: Posts: 3,730 Thanks: 189 Thanked 236 Times in 146 Posts Points: 19.72 Bank: 88,549.91 Total Points: 88,569.63 Donate	^ I never went to YTMND. I hate that place. Have you ever been to 4Chan? I've been thinking of going there, just to take a peek. I'm curious as to what kind of horrid stuff Valigarmander looks at.

06-07-2007, 03:54 PM	#14
ChuckleHuck Member Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: Next to this man in rags with a knife. He seems very friendly! Gender: Posts: 1,840 Thanks: 83 Thanked 38 Times in 31 Posts Points: 10,084.12 Bank: 9,859.63 Total Points: 19,943.75 Donate	^Don't if you do, life will cease to exist all together. ORLY OWL!