Tasteless Jokes (WARNING: Parental Advisory) - Page 2

Eric · 11-29-2007, 03:53 PM

A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says why the long face?

heh · 11-29-2007, 05:11 PM

I think You might want to check that picture Ace made again kingeric

**X-3** · 11-30-2007, 07:21 AM

What's the difference between a dead baby and a BMW?

A BMW isn't parked in Crazy Uncle Jimbo's garage.

Darunia00 · 12-03-2007, 02:39 PM

Q: What has nine arms and sucks?

A: Def Leppard

***Booyakasha*** · 12-03-2007, 02:49 PM

Q: What's the difference between an onion and a hooker?

A: I didn't cry when I cut that bitch up.

Eric · 12-03-2007, 04:25 PM

why did the baby cry

it was dead

***Ace Mercury*** · 12-03-2007, 06:10 PM

That's... very good for a first try. Here is a ball. Why don't you bounce it?

---

Q: What's the difference between a circus and a whorehouse?

A: One is a cunning array of stunts.

Typhlame · 12-03-2007, 06:29 PM

Wanna hear the biggest joke?

Women's rights. OOOOOOOOOOH!

THIS IS A JOKE, NOONE TAKE THIS SERIOUSLY.

**Deku Trii** · 12-04-2007, 02:08 PM

Q:Why did Jesus get all the ladies?

A: He was hung like this

.

**X-3** · 12-04-2007, 04:37 PM

What's old, but still great?
Prostitution.

Darunia00 · 12-04-2007, 05:22 PM

Jesus walks into a hotel and up to the check-in desk. He puts three nails on the the desk and asks the concierge, "Think this will put me up for the night?"

**Galefore** · 12-04-2007, 05:34 PM

There was was a lady from Eget
She found herself quite pregnant
She lived a fun life,
Had the kid with no strife,
But it died, and she had cancer, malignant.

***Ace Mercury*** · 12-07-2007, 01:11 PM

Q: What separates man from the animals?

A: A condom, hopefully.

***The Doctor*** · 12-07-2007, 02:27 PM

Why did the baby fall out of the tree?
Cos it was dead.

Why did the second baby fall out of the tree?
Cos it was tied to the first.

Why did the third baby fall out of the tree?
Cos it wanted too.

Why did the fourth baby fall out of the tree?
Peer Pressure.

Why did the Monkey fall out of the tree?
It was doing an impression of a baby.

What is worse than a Dumpster full of dead babies?
A dumpster full of dead babies with a live one at the bottom eating it's way out.

***Ace Mercury*** · 12-07-2007, 02:39 PM

Q: How do you make a dead baby float?

A: One cup root beer, two scoops dead baby.

**LASER BEAR ASSAULT UNIT** · 12-08-2007, 05:44 PM

How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb?

Doesn't matter, feminists can't change anything!

ZeldaGirl · 12-08-2007, 08:13 PM

^That made me literally LAUGH. OUT. LOUD. HARD.

User Name · 12-08-2007, 08:34 PM

Ooh! A perfect place to put the jokes my friends and I say on a daily basis.

What did Helen Keller say as she fell off the cliff?
I don't know, she was wearing mittens.

What did Helen Keller do when she fell down the well?
She screamed and screamed until her hands turned blue.

How do Helen Keller's parents punish her?
A. Nailing a doorknob to a wall
B. Rearranging the funiture
C. Putting a plunger in the toilet

How do you drive Helen Keller crazy?
A. Ask her to read a basketball
B. Tell her to find the penny in the corner of a circular room
C. Tell her to read a stucco wall

Why did Helen Keller's dog run away?
You would too if your name was Arghaharraahrrragaharrr.

How did Helen Keller break her arm while driving?
She tried to read the stop sign.

Why can't Helen Keller drive?
Because she's a woman.

And a bad one:
Spoiler Below

Why does Helen Keller masturbate with one hand?
Because she moans with the other.

Dylan · 12-13-2007, 09:09 PM

-You know why JFK wouldn't have been a good boxer?
He couldn't take a shot to the head.

-You know what JFK and Bill Clinton had in common?
They both had their heads blown off in the back of a limo.

-You know what else JFK and Bill Clinton had in common?
Both of their careers ended with a stained dress.

-You know what JFK Jr. missed most about Martha's Vineyard?
The runway.

-You know where the Kennedys like to spend their vacations?
All over Martha's Vineyard.

-You know how you pierce Rosie O'Donnell's ear?
With a harpoon.

-So the good Rev. Fuzz is walking down the street one day and notices a female member of his congregation, getting blasted out of her mind. So he walks inside and steps up to her.
"Ma'am, I don't think this is a proper place for a member of my congregation to be," he says. "I'm taking you home before you get hurt."
"Oookaaaay!" she says, slurring her speech. He puts her arm around his shoulder and helps her outside. On the way out, she trips and falls, pulling him down with her with her dress hiked up.
"Hey buddy, we don't allow that kind of thing here!" the bartender says.
"But sir, you don't understand! I'm Pastor Fuzz!"
The bartender says, "Well buddy, if you're that far, you might as well finish the job!"

More to come later.

-Dylan

**Galefore** · 12-13-2007, 09:56 PM

^Those were all absolutely hilarious. Now I'm going to steal them.

11-30-2007, 07:21 AM	#23
X-3 No avatar, no justice, no dreams, no hope! Join Date: Jan 2004 Gender: Posts: 15,507 Thanks: 732 Thanked 1,158 Times in 751 Posts Blog Entries: 10	What's the difference between a dead baby and a BMW? A BMW isn't parked in Crazy Uncle Jimbo's garage. Last edited by X-3; 11-30-2007 at 04:02 PM.

12-07-2007, 01:11 PM	#33
*Ace Mercury* Marshmallow Knight ☆ Supermod Join Date: Jun 2000 Location: Southern Ontario Gender: Posts: 22,964 Thanks: 558 Thanked 3,205 Times in 1,531 Posts Blog Entries: 1	Safety first. Q: What separates man from the animals? A: A condom, hopefully.

12-07-2007, 02:39 PM	#35
*Ace Mercury* Marshmallow Knight ☆ Supermod Join Date: Jun 2000 Location: Southern Ontario Gender: Posts: 22,964 Thanks: 558 Thanked 3,205 Times in 1,531 Posts Blog Entries: 1	*rimshot* Q: How do you make a dead baby float? A: One cup root beer, two scoops dead baby.

12-13-2007, 09:09 PM	#39
Dylan Senior Member Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Teenage Wasteland Gender: Posts: 7,790 Thanks: 1,632 Thanked 1,816 Times in 773 Posts	I was born for this thread. -You know why JFK wouldn't have been a good boxer? He couldn't take a shot to the head. -You know what JFK and Bill Clinton had in common? They both had their heads blown off in the back of a limo. -You know what else JFK and Bill Clinton had in common? Both of their careers ended with a stained dress. -You know what JFK Jr. missed most about Martha's Vineyard? The runway. -You know where the Kennedys like to spend their vacations? All over Martha's Vineyard. -You know how you pierce Rosie O'Donnell's ear? With a harpoon. -So the good Rev. Fuzz is walking down the street one day and notices a female member of his congregation, getting blasted out of her mind. So he walks inside and steps up to her. "Ma'am, I don't think this is a proper place for a member of my congregation to be," he says. "I'm taking you home before you get hurt." "Oookaaaay!" she says, slurring her speech. He puts her arm around his shoulder and helps her outside. On the way out, she trips and falls, pulling him down with her with her dress hiked up. "Hey buddy, we don't allow that kind of thing here!" the bartender says. "But sir, you don't understand! I'm Pastor Fuzz!" The bartender says, "Well buddy, if you're that far, you might as well finish the job!" More to come later. -Dylan

11-29-2007, 03:53 PM	#21
Eric Member Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Up your arse and around the corner. Gender: Posts: 1,343 Thanks: 236 Thanked 65 Times in 51 Posts	A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says why the long face?

11-29-2007, 05:11 PM	#22
heh Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: lo-ca-tion; Noun- 1. a place or situation occupied: That house is in a fine location Gender: Posts: 9,766 Thanks: 706 Thanked 946 Times in 619 Posts	I think You might want to check that picture Ace made again kingeric

12-03-2007, 02:39 PM	#24
Darunia00 Senior Member Join Date: Jun 2000 Location: Boston Gender: Posts: 4,318 Thanks: 1 Thanked 5 Times in 3 Posts	Q: What has nine arms and sucks? A: Def Leppard

12-03-2007, 02:49 PM	#25
*Booyakasha* SuperMod of War Join Date: Nov 2000 Location: Wisconsinland Gender: Posts: 9,655 Thanks: 153 Thanked 1,386 Times in 704 Posts	Q: What's the difference between an onion and a hooker? A: I didn't cry when I cut that bitch up.

12-03-2007, 04:25 PM	#26
Eric Member Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Up your arse and around the corner. Gender: Posts: 1,343 Thanks: 236 Thanked 65 Times in 51 Posts	why did the baby cry it was dead

12-03-2007, 06:10 PM	#27
*Ace Mercury* Marshmallow Knight ☆ Supermod Join Date: Jun 2000 Location: Southern Ontario Gender: Posts: 22,964 Thanks: 558 Thanked 3,205 Times in 1,531 Posts Blog Entries: 1	That's... very good for a first try. Here is a ball. Why don't you bounce it? --- Q: What's the difference between a circus and a whorehouse? A: One is a cunning array of stunts.

12-03-2007, 06:29 PM	#28
Typhlame Senior Member Join Date: May 2007 Location: Probably eating. Gender: Posts: 4,284 Thanks: 709 Thanked 155 Times in 110 Posts	Wanna hear the biggest joke? Women's rights. OOOOOOOOOOH! THIS IS A JOKE, NOONE TAKE THIS SERIOUSLY.

12-04-2007, 02:08 PM	#29
Deku Trii PP&R Mod Current Events Mod Join Date: Jun 2000 Location: Texas Gender: Posts: 8,930 Thanks: 490 Thanked 1,063 Times in 559 Posts	Q:Why did Jesus get all the ladies? A: He was hung like this .

12-04-2007, 04:37 PM	#30
X-3 No avatar, no justice, no dreams, no hope! Join Date: Jan 2004 Gender: Posts: 15,507 Thanks: 732 Thanked 1,158 Times in 751 Posts Blog Entries: 10	What's old, but still great? Prostitution.

12-04-2007, 05:22 PM	#31
Darunia00 Senior Member Join Date: Jun 2000 Location: Boston Gender: Posts: 4,318 Thanks: 1 Thanked 5 Times in 3 Posts	Jesus walks into a hotel and up to the check-in desk. He puts three nails on the the desk and asks the concierge, "Think this will put me up for the night?"

12-04-2007, 05:34 PM	#32
Galefore EXPLOSION GOD OF MUSIC Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Some studio somewhere Gender: Posts: 8,255 Thanks: 1,357 Thanked 823 Times in 532 Posts Blog Entries: 5	There was was a lady from Eget She found herself quite pregnant She lived a fun life, Had the kid with no strife, But it died, and she had cancer, malignant.

12-07-2007, 02:27 PM	#34
*The Doctor* The Last Timelord. Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: In the TARDIS Gender: Posts: 13,819 Thanks: 869 Thanked 647 Times in 421 Posts Blog Entries: 1	Why did the baby fall out of the tree? Cos it was dead. Why did the second baby fall out of the tree? Cos it was tied to the first. Why did the third baby fall out of the tree? Cos it wanted too. Why did the fourth baby fall out of the tree? Peer Pressure. Why did the Monkey fall out of the tree? It was doing an impression of a baby. What is worse than a Dumpster full of dead babies? A dumpster full of dead babies with a live one at the bottom eating it's way out.

12-08-2007, 05:44 PM	#36
LASER BEAR ASSAULT UNIT Videos Mod Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: In my pants Gender: Posts: 4,536 Thanks: 2,469 Thanked 746 Times in 413 Posts	How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? Doesn't matter, feminists can't change anything!

12-08-2007, 08:13 PM	#37
ZeldaGirl Awesome member Join Date: Jun 2001 Location: Why do YOU want to know...? Gender: Posts: 15,877 Thanks: 1,121 Thanked 1,902 Times in 1,040 Posts	^That made me literally LAUGH. OUT. LOUD. HARD.

12-08-2007, 08:34 PM	#38
User Name Senior Member Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: Gotham City Gender: Posts: 7,168 Thanks: 655 Thanked 520 Times in 357 Posts	Ooh! A perfect place to put the jokes my friends and I say on a daily basis. What did Helen Keller say as she fell off the cliff? I don't know, she was wearing mittens. What did Helen Keller do when she fell down the well? She screamed and screamed until her hands turned blue. How do Helen Keller's parents punish her? A. Nailing a doorknob to a wall B. Rearranging the funiture C. Putting a plunger in the toilet How do you drive Helen Keller crazy? A. Ask her to read a basketball B. Tell her to find the penny in the corner of a circular room C. Tell her to read a stucco wall Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? You would too if your name was Arghaharraahrrragaharrr. How did Helen Keller break her arm while driving? She tried to read the stop sign. Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's a woman. And a bad one: Spoiler Below Why does Helen Keller masturbate with one hand? Because she moans with the other.

12-13-2007, 09:56 PM	#40
Galefore EXPLOSION GOD OF MUSIC Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Some studio somewhere Gender: Posts: 8,255 Thanks: 1,357 Thanked 823 Times in 532 Posts Blog Entries: 5	^Those were all absolutely hilarious. Now I'm going to steal them.