Anti-Jokes - Page 2

Zaden · 04-17-2010, 10:46 PM

"Yo momma's so short, she jumped off a curb stone and committed suicide!"

*starts crying* "Actually, she did..."

"I'm sorry, man, I didn't know..."

Dizzy · 04-18-2010, 06:30 PM

A mushroom walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve your kind here". The mushroom responds, "That's discriminatory. I should sue you for all you got, you heartless bigot"!

***Ace Mercury*** · 04-18-2010, 09:35 PM

Wait, mushrooms can't talk. Your story is a phoney. A big, fat phoney.

**Loot** · 04-18-2010, 10:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Zaidon

"Yo momma's so short, she jumped off a curb stone and committed suicide!"

*starts crying* "Actually, she did..."

"I'm sorry, man, I didn't know..."

Joke fails the basics of gravity.

Glux · 04-18-2010, 10:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Loot the Orphan Shover

Joke fails the basics of gravity.

...What?

***Ace Mercury*** · 04-19-2010, 06:54 AM

No, I think it passes the basics of gravity. You see, when there are two masses, they will exert a force on one another (heretofore known as the gravitational force) proportional to the product of the masses and inversely proportional to the square of the distance. Since his mother and the Earth contain a lot of mass, the resultant force is sufficient to cause a fatal collision.

Random User · 04-19-2010, 05:09 PM

"Your mom is so dumb, I filled the pool up an inch and she drowned!"

"My mom is dead..."

***Ace Mercury*** · 04-19-2010, 06:06 PM

I think we need a clearer definition of what an anti-joke is. This is turning into Alanis Morrissette's Ironic.

Luigiman7 · 04-19-2010, 09:17 PM

Anti-humor - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

**Loot** · 04-19-2010, 10:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ace Mercury

No, I think it passes the basics of gravity. You see, when there are two masses, they will exert a force on one another (heretofore known as the gravitational force) proportional to the product of the masses and inversely proportional to the square of the distance. Since his mother and the Earth contain a lot of mass, the resultant force is sufficient to cause a fatal collision.

But this isn't a Yo Momma So Fa-GOD DAMMIT ACE FOILED AGAIN

**Deku Trii** · 04-19-2010, 11:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ace Mercury

I think we need a clearer definition of what an anti-joke is. This is turning into Alanis Morrissette's Ironic.

Alanis Morrissette's Ironic killed my mother.

Dizzy · 04-20-2010, 06:33 AM

Anti-jokes work better when you're not expecting them.

Posting them in a topic called "Anti-Jokes" doesn't help.

**LASER BEAR ASSAULT UNIT** · 04-22-2010, 07:41 AM

What do you get when you mate with a dog in an attempt to make wolfmen?

Generally a prision sentance and councilling.

Robotazy · 04-22-2010, 08:45 AM

What do you call a parrot wearing a raincoat?

A Parrot wearing a Raincoat

Spoiler Below

Polly Unsaturated

Why can't you play cards in the jungle?

Because bugs would eat your cards.

Spoiler Below

Because there are too many cheetas.

How do you organize a spacey party?

Make it space themed.

Spoiler Below

You Planet

Zaden · 05-12-2010, 05:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wikipedia

Nonsense jokes
Nonsense jokes lack intrinsic meaning, and become funny simply because they are absurd.

Q: What is the difference between a duck?
A: One of its legs are both the same.

Q:How many muffins does it take to canoe up a tree?
A: Four and a half, to bomb the door and flip the oar.

Q:What's the difference between a telephone pole and a motorcycle?
A: 24, because ice cream has no bones.

Q:What's the difference between a plum and a rabbit?
A: They're both purple, except for the rabbit.

Two Penguins were taking a bath. Suddenly, one of them said "Where's the Alarm Clock?"

Luigiman7 · 10-16-2010, 10:00 AM

MeowMan · 10-18-2010, 09:34 PM

Zaidon, I laughed so freaking hard at that.

Dizzy · 11-14-2010, 08:55 PM

I'm actually reminded of a joke that may or may not go here.

"A thief, a priest, and a rabbi walk into a bar. The rabbi says, "What is this, some kind of joke?"

That's more like meta-humor, but oh well.

***Ace Mercury*** · 01-07-2011, 08:33 AM

A man with an orange for a head walks into a bar. He gets chatting with the barman, who, consumed with curiosity, asks, "So... why do you have an orange for a head?"

The man with an orange for a head replies: "Well, it's like this. I was walking along the beach one day when I tripped over an old lamp that was sticking out of the sand. In a flash of light, a genie appeared in front of me!

"The genie said to me, 'For a thousand years I have been imprisoned in that lamp. In gratitude for freeing me, I shall grant you three wishes'. So I said, 'I would like more money than I can ever spend'. There was a puff of smoke, and all over the sand there were piles of gold and jewels.

"'Your second wish?' asked the genie. 'To help me enjoy all this money', I said, 'I want an intelligent, beautiful woman to spend the rest of my life with'. There was another puff of smoke, and there next to me was the loveliest woman I have ever seen.

"'What is your final wish?' asked the genie. And I said, 'I'd like an orange for a head'".

04-19-2010, 09:17 PM	#29
Luigiman7 ヽ(◔ ◡ ◔)ノ.･ﾟ*｡･+☆ Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: ~)´◡｀(~ Gender: Posts: 17,605 Thanks: 1,134 Thanked 1,012 Times in 713 Posts Blog Entries: 8	Anti-humor - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia __________________ ／人◕ ‿‿ ◕人＼ＷＯＮ’Ｔ　ＹＯＵ　ＢＥＣＯＭＥ　Ａ　ＭＡＧＩＣＡＬ　ＧＩＲＬ？

04-22-2010, 08:45 AM	#34
Robotazy PRESS ANY KEY TO PANIC! Join Date: Sep 2000 Location: A Tiny Shed Gender: Posts: 16,483 Thanks: 529 Thanked 1,254 Times in 897 Posts Blog Entries: 46	The actual punchline included. Commence groaning. What do you call a parrot wearing a raincoat? A Parrot wearing a Raincoat Spoiler Below Polly Unsaturated Why can't you play cards in the jungle? Because bugs would eat your cards. Spoiler Below Because there are too many cheetas. How do you organize a spacey party? Make it space themed. Spoiler Below You Planet

10-16-2010, 10:00 AM	#36
Luigiman7 ヽ(◔ ◡ ◔)ノ.･ﾟ*｡･+☆ Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: ~)´◡｀(~ Gender: Posts: 17,605 Thanks: 1,134 Thanked 1,012 Times in 713 Posts Blog Entries: 8	__________________ ／人◕ ‿‿ ◕人＼ＷＯＮ’Ｔ　ＹＯＵ　ＢＥＣＯＭＥ　Ａ　ＭＡＧＩＣＡＬ　ＧＩＲＬ？

01-07-2011, 08:33 AM	#39
*Ace Mercury* Marshmallow Knight ☆ Supermod Join Date: Jun 2000 Location: Southern Ontario Gender: Posts: 23,274 Thanks: 568 Thanked 3,297 Times in 1,582 Posts Blog Entries: 1	*rimshot* A man with an orange for a head walks into a bar. He gets chatting with the barman, who, consumed with curiosity, asks, "So... why do you have an orange for a head?" The man with an orange for a head replies: "Well, it's like this. I was walking along the beach one day when I tripped over an old lamp that was sticking out of the sand. In a flash of light, a genie appeared in front of me! "The genie said to me, 'For a thousand years I have been imprisoned in that lamp. In gratitude for freeing me, I shall grant you three wishes'. So I said, 'I would like more money than I can ever spend'. There was a puff of smoke, and all over the sand there were piles of gold and jewels. "'Your second wish?' asked the genie. 'To help me enjoy all this money', I said, 'I want an intelligent, beautiful woman to spend the rest of my life with'. There was another puff of smoke, and there next to me was the loveliest woman I have ever seen. "'What is your final wish?' asked the genie. And I said, 'I'd like an orange for a head'".

04-17-2010, 10:46 PM	#21
Zaden Member Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: in the beak of a mighty condor Gender: Posts: 991 Thanks: 273 Thanked 88 Times in 51 Posts Blog Entries: 5	"Yo momma's so short, she jumped off a curb stone and committed suicide!" starts crying "Actually, she did..." "I'm sorry, man, I didn't know..."

04-18-2010, 06:30 PM	#22
Dizzy Podiaphobe Join Date: Oct 2007 Gender: Posts: 19,359 Thanks: 1,764 Thanked 1,161 Times in 804 Posts Blog Entries: 116	A mushroom walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve your kind here". The mushroom responds, "That's discriminatory. I should sue you for all you got, you heartless bigot"!

04-18-2010, 09:35 PM	#23
*Ace Mercury* Marshmallow Knight ☆ Supermod Join Date: Jun 2000 Location: Southern Ontario Gender: Posts: 23,274 Thanks: 568 Thanked 3,297 Times in 1,582 Posts Blog Entries: 1	Wait, mushrooms can't talk. Your story is a phoney. A big, fat phoney.

04-19-2010, 06:54 AM	#26
*Ace Mercury* Marshmallow Knight ☆ Supermod Join Date: Jun 2000 Location: Southern Ontario Gender: Posts: 23,274 Thanks: 568 Thanked 3,297 Times in 1,582 Posts Blog Entries: 1	No, I think it passes the basics of gravity. You see, when there are two masses, they will exert a force on one another (heretofore known as the gravitational force) proportional to the product of the masses and inversely proportional to the square of the distance. Since his mother and the Earth contain a lot of mass, the resultant force is sufficient to cause a fatal collision.

04-19-2010, 05:09 PM	#27
Random User Senior Member Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: Equestrian Republic of Spanglidesh Gender: Posts: 3,562 Thanks: 320 Thanked 195 Times in 143 Posts Blog Entries: 4	"Your mom is so dumb, I filled the pool up an inch and she drowned!" "My mom is dead..."

04-19-2010, 06:06 PM	#28
*Ace Mercury* Marshmallow Knight ☆ Supermod Join Date: Jun 2000 Location: Southern Ontario Gender: Posts: 23,274 Thanks: 568 Thanked 3,297 Times in 1,582 Posts Blog Entries: 1	I think we need a clearer definition of what an anti-joke is. This is turning into Alanis Morrissette's Ironic.

04-20-2010, 06:33 AM	#32
Dizzy Podiaphobe Join Date: Oct 2007 Gender: Posts: 19,359 Thanks: 1,764 Thanked 1,161 Times in 804 Posts Blog Entries: 116	Anti-jokes work better when you're not expecting them. Posting them in a topic called "Anti-Jokes" doesn't help.

04-22-2010, 07:41 AM	#33
LASER BEAR ASSAULT UNIT Videos Mod Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: In my pants Gender: Posts: 4,613 Thanks: 2,502 Thanked 767 Times in 422 Posts	What do you get when you mate with a dog in an attempt to make wolfmen? Generally a prision sentance and councilling.

10-18-2010, 09:34 PM	#37
MeowMan Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2009 Location: Las Pegasus Gender: Posts: 6,606 Thanks: 849 Thanked 208 Times in 132 Posts Blog Entries: 46	Zaidon, I laughed so freaking hard at that.

11-14-2010, 08:55 PM	#38
Dizzy Podiaphobe Join Date: Oct 2007 Gender: Posts: 19,359 Thanks: 1,764 Thanked 1,161 Times in 804 Posts Blog Entries: 116	I'm actually reminded of a joke that may or may not go here. "A thief, a priest, and a rabbi walk into a bar. The rabbi says, "What is this, some kind of joke?" That's more like meta-humor, but oh well.