If real life was like a video game...

[Valigarmander]

...there would be no need to drink medicine, put on bandages, splint broken bones, or spend weeks in a hospital. Simply touching a medical kit will mend any wounds you've suffered.

...eating food would heal wounds.

...a good night's sleep would heal all wounds and raise the dead.

...everyone would be able to jump at least half their height.

...most people would look exactly the same, with few variations in physical appearance, clothing, and voice. If you ever met someone who looked unique, they'd be important somehow.

...an average, unarmored person would be able to survive being shot two to three times with a pistol.

...storekeepers would buy anything you wanted to sell, even if they had absolutely no use for it.

...nobody would ever have to use the bathroom.

[1-up Salesman]

The music..would follow you.... everywhere.

We'd all have stupid-sounding voices.

We'd all have long hair, which would rock.

My dogs could assist me in battle.

More and more marriages are ending, due to husbands growing weary and leaving their party to start a "New Game."

Kids are taking drugs. "Wow, son, you sure have grown big and stro-...IS THAT MUSHROOM?!"

[Bomby]

Insert Chappelle's Show GTA parody here.

...an average, unarmored person would be able to survive being shot two to three times with a pistol.

Depending on where the person is shot, this is far from unfathomable in real life already.

[1-up Salesman]

Is life sucking? Well, with just one press of a button and you'll have your New Game.

[Booyakasha]

There'd be video games of wild fantasy activities like doing laundry and balancing your checkbook and hoovering---they'd provide people an avenue of escape from the boring work-a-day drudgery of blowing up robo-Nazis with a bazooka from behind the wheel of a monster truck jumping the Grand Canyon.

[Jere]

- Id would have to wrestle polar bears to save some tourists

- id have a cool big 4wd car that never would not be able to go to certain places due to me not having the proper off-road tires.

- Not only would you look cooler you would be ass badass as you where cool.

[Ace Mercury]

... you can unlock additional assignments to do at work if you pay them ten dollars.

[Jailbreaker]

- All the girls would dress like strippers

[Dux is not you]

Originally Posted by Megumi Kitaniji

- All the girls would dress like strippers

Not necessarily, but they would all be hot indeed

Also, time would stop everytime you looked inside your bag or sat in front of a computer.

[Bomby]

There would be a depressing lack of ethnic diversity, except on sports teams.

[X-3]

Everything would trigger a quick-time event.

[Marilink]

Unimportant people would only ever say one thing.

[Dux is not you]

Unimportant people would only ever say one thing.

[1-up Salesman]

Yeah, you'd have to stop and stare at pretty much every woman you'd find.

Valigarmander would be rated "M."

[Heroine of the Dragon]

...babies and children would be out in the wide world on their own saving us from evil!!!

...musical instruments would warp or teleport us to places!!!

[Dux is not you]

Originally Posted by 1-up Salesman

Valigarmander would be rated "M."

I didn't get it

Is it "M" for "Mendetta"?

[Dizzy]

Villians would have seemingly unlimited budgets.

[The Doctor]

You'll see numbers when you swat a fly.

You'll hear the victory fanfare if you kill it.

[1-up Salesman]

Originally Posted by Dux is not me

I didn't get it

Is it "M" for "Mendetta"?

Mature, .


People would level up and be classified by their actions.

"Wife beater learned back-hand!"

[Loot]

All cops would shout "STOP RIGHT THERE CRIMINAL SCUM"