Tingle OG

[Masamune]

Kooloo Limpah! It’s me Tingle. Gather round, fair children, because it’s story time! That’s right, sit on Tingle’s lap, little fairies. Tingle will tell you all about how he saved Hyrule.

The Tingle OG:

Tingle Saves the Day

(Except that Ganon floods Hyrule in the End)

I spent most of my life as a hero. I had it all. Cool hair, a green hat, tons of lady-friends, and no one made fun of my tights. But when my son looked just like me, I realized the prophesies were true.

The Prophecy
Great Fairy: Oh by the way, you know that Tingle guy/thing? Yeah, you’re gonna grow up to be him.
Link: OMG SPOILER

While my younger self was trapped in a time warp, Ganon returned to Hyrule. So Tingle decided that it was time to be a hero one last time. I went into I attic and picked up the first sword he could find.

I had assumed it was the Master Sword, but I was…wrong. I felt a very familiar sensation as the sword split into four blades, each with its own version of me to wield it.

“Ooopsies!” we all said at once.

“You’ll need names,” I said.

“Call me Ankle,” said one.

“Call me Knuckle,” said the other, and he threw some confetti in the air.

“And I’m David,” said the last… “Junior!” He hopped around for a moment.

I decided not to say anything. I always liked the name David and almost named my son Link Jr…David Jr. must have mixed the memories together. Clearly this clone was the least perfect one.

“Let’s play a game,” said Ankle.

Knuckle cheered. “Hammer tag! Hammer tag!” he shouted.

“NO!” I said. “We have to focus on saving Hyrule.”

“No hammer tag?” Knuckle asked, his eyes downcast.
“I’m afraid not,” I told them. “To the tower!”

[John Tagatchi]

I spun the odd sword slowly in my hand as myself and my counterparts marched on Ganon's Tower. It had been a while since I had held a blade, but it wasn't something easily forgotten.

...At least, not for me.

"Owwww!" David Jr dropped his sword again. "Do I HAVE to carry this thing? It hurts!"

I rolled my eyes. "Try holding the end that isn't sharp."

David sniffled, but silently obliged.

We finally came to a stop just outside the fiend's place of residence. Unfortunately, we stopped because there was a large pit with what appeared to be magma at the bottom seperating us from the tower.

"Well, so much for that." Ankle shrugged. "How about a game?"

"I got it!" Knuckle said. "CUCCO WRANGLING!" He held up one of the birds, grinning ear to ear.

Well, he was. The bird, on the other hand, looked very disturbed.

Suddenly, I got an idea. "Where did you get that Cucco from?"

"Oh, back in town. No one seemed to notice, so I just picked it up."

"Well, let's go get a few more..."

A few minutes later, the four of us stood across the chasm, each holding a struggling Cucco above our heads.

"On three. One, two..."

"Wheeeeeee!" David leapt off the edge, and the struggling Bird redoubled it's efforts, attempting to stay aloft. David Jr drifted over the pit, landing on the other side.

"Well, that works." Ankle followed.

"Me next!" Knuckle jumped.

I simply sighed, stepping of the edge and letting the poor bird do the rest.

After we made it across, I gazed up at the massive tower.

"All right, it's time to send Ganon back where he belongs!" I held my sword upward. The others cheered, but David stared up at the large wooden gate.

"Uh..." He started, "How do we get in?"

[Bandit]

"I know!" shouted Ankle, gleefully. "We should get a human sacrifice!" Ankle finished. Myself, Ankle, Knuckle, and David Jr. all stared at eachother. Eventually I screamed "Knuckle will do it!", as myself and my other brothers grabbed Knuckle. I knocked my brother unconcious by beating him mercilessly with a rock.

"Oh, great lord Satan! Lead us to SALVATION!" I screamed, as I plunged my sword deep into Knuckle's face. My brother died instantly. We all sighed nervously, and waited. The gate did not open.

"Ankle...." I started, as I looked at Ankle. "You made me kill our own brother for no reason at all." I finished. Ankle drew his sword, and ran at me. We fought very ferociously! Eventually, Ankle knocked me off my feet with a swift knee to the face. "You will DIE!" Ankle said, in a deep, demonic voice. His eyes turned red. I knew from that moment that Ankle was actually evil. David Jr quickly shuffled over, and stabbed Ankle deep in the stomach with his sword! Ankle let out a blood curdling scream, as he fell to the ground.

Ankle's body was slowly engulfed by shadow. His shape began to morph into something different. When he stood, I was completley shocked. It was a man similar to Link. Only, the man was pure black. Everything. He had no facial features. The man was like a living shadow! David Jr. and I paced backward, and readied our weapons.

"KRAFT EASY MAC" screamed Dark Link, as he rushed at us. He slashed at David Jr, with his mighty blade. The cut cleaved poor David in half. Thinking quickly, I grabbed a rock off of the side of a nearby cave, and threw it at Dark Link. He groaned in pain, as he fell over. "DAMNED ELF" Dark Link said, as he began to throw bologna at me. I dodged the hunks of bologna by executing mind bogglingly complicated backflips.

Dark Link took out a bow, and launched an arrow at me. I managed to dodge with a split. I knew I would have to make a move, before Dark Link attempted any other move such as this. I rushed at him, and swiped my sword at him. Dark Link dodged with a backflip. He swung at me, but I managed to catch his sword with my hand. In responce, Dark Link punched me in the face. I fell over, dropping both his and my own sword.

Dark Link cackled. "THOSE WHO PLAY DIRTY GET LEGAL MARIJUANA", he said, as took out a large hammer. He rushed at me, and tried to crush my skull with the mighty weapon. I dodged with a roll, and thrusted Dark Link's sword into his stomach. Dark Link groaned, and paced back. I lifted my own sword, and stabbed him in the stomach with it too! Dark Link fell, and died.

After Dark Link died, the gate opened up. I was now on this journey alone.
Beyond the gate lied.........