DVGBA's Amazingly Retarded Adventure

In a small house lived a man (I think he's a man) nick named DVGBA, for God knows what reason, and he also happened to like hampster; LOTS AND LOTS OF HAMPSTER. So bad of a hampster fetish that it was almost disease..Oh and the story starts..

DVGBA sat on his couch impatiently waiting for whatever was going to happen on the TV. He looked at the screen waiting and waiting, till around 3:29, the show's title appeared: Hamtaro. DVG jumped around like a little shcool girl on drugs. He screamed a loud voice which made his neigbor rush through the door..

"DVG! DVG! Are you alri-- oh not again.." said the neigbor in an unsatisfied voice and sighed..

"Sorry, Fusion, but I just love, WHEN THOSE LITTLE HAMSTERS GO ON BIG ADVENTURES!"

"DVG, have you ever though of going to a psychitrist, or possibly JOINING THE BLACK SUN WITHOUT YOU KNOWING?!?!" said Fusion, in a crazed, idiotic voice.

"Maybe late- OOH BIJOU KISSED PENOLPER!!!!!!!!1" screamed DVG in a very high girly voice.

Fusion took the moronic look off is face a walked to the door muttering, "what an idiot..". Fusion walked off back to his house to recruit random members to his already dead organization. DVG watched in excitement for what reason, we may never know when suddenly the Televison went into a whit background with a darkened out face on the TV.

"Hello, DVG." spoke the unkown figure, "WHO ARE YOU AN WHY DID YOU SHUT MY HAM-HAMS OF?" DVG screamed with anger and sadness, because IT WUZ A NEVARR BEFOR SEAN EPISOED!!

"DVG, I have permanetly shut down your pathetic excuse for a show. I also stole your computer with the hamtaro case.. Mwuahahah!" the figure laughed in an evil, sinister voice. DVG had a speachless, shocked expression on his face as he realized his computer had ben stolen..

"YOU FIEND! REVEAL YOURSELF OR I'LL SHOW YOU MY HAMTARO PR0N!" the figure screamed and replied: "Fine, fine..I am, GTX." replied the dark figure.

"I KNEW IT YOU SHALL PAY!" the figure faded and Hamtaro was replaced with reruns of Oprah Does Kentucky. DVG clenchef his LITTEL GURLY NON-MANLEY FIST, err his fist and swore to get his beloved, but idiotic, show back on..

*Meanwhile, at HQ (Codenamed: Base GTX. Because.)*

Legion: Sir, the plan is working perfectly.

GTX: I know that you idiot. I did just tell the little sod!

Legion: Yes, but the masterfulness of the attack. A swift destruction of the show. Poetry in motion.

GTX: ...Well anyway, back to what's important. Why are you in my private chambers?

Legion: Er...

GTX: And why are you writing in script format. DM at least made an effort.

Legion: Because I'm lazy, OK?

GTX: How dare you, a newb, raise your voice to me! Guards?

Legion: Oh, here we go again.

GTX: Take him to the Pit of Doom!

*guards take Legion to the Pit of Doom*

GTX: Right. Now to rid myself of that retarded personality that newb gave me.

*goes into decontamination room*

GTX walked back out of the room a few minutes later.

"All righty. Now that my character is in the capable hands of myself, let's see what's going on here. Officer! Bring up the viewscreen!"

"Yes, sir," the officer replied, bringing up a full-screen display of DVG, banging on the door of the building and screaming.

"I'M SUFFERING FROM HAM-HAM HEARTBREAK OVER HERE!"

Then, in something completely unexpected and outlawed by at least 30 countries, DVG took out a bunch of papers.

Fortunately for GTX, he had known what was coming and shielded his eyes. But the officer was not so fortunate, as Hamtaro pr0n suddenly filled the screen. A bloodcurdling scream of pain echoed through the building.

"My eyes! MY EYES! That 10-year old kid and the hamster... They were... THEY WERE-"

"At ease, soldier. You've seen enough horror for one man."

In an act of vengeance for his fallen officer, GTX pulled a lever in the large, lavish control panel, and DVG fell into a trap door...

DVG fell. Not as fast as other people, because the Laws of Physics were reluctant to go anywhere near him holding those... things. He landed very hard on something very sharp. A rock, which unfortunately did not break his back because the Laws of Biology were also on strike. A few minutes later, he awoke, to tradgedy.

"Gasp! Where has my Ham-Ham pr0n gone?"

"What the heck?" Legion emerged from the shadows, drifting as he readjusted his mask, his whispy tail waving back and forth. Unfortunately, at that moment DVG recovered the cursed papers. Legion stared, then ran to the walls of the pit and tried to climb out.

"Will you be my friend?" dribbled DVG, walking towards him.

"Why sir, why?!" screamed Legion.

"Shut. Up!"

After that, Legion turned to face his attacker, then turned away, eyes burning. Crouching he instead burrowed through the earth, being sure to fill in the tunnel as he went, trying to block out DVG's perverted screams.

"ALL I WANT IS LOVE!"

Legion grimaced and dug faster, till he collided with something very hard.

"Sergeant! What are you doing here?" The little grey Shy-Guy pointed towards a rapidly disappearing hole in the air behind him.

"Plothole."

"I have got to fix those."

Then the plot hole sucks Legion and DVG in bringing them to a dark and strange cave..

"Gah! Damn plotholes are far mor dangerous then I thought.." spoke Legion.

Legion saw DVG looking around wondering where they were. Legion got off the cold and damp cave floor and saw an exit. DVG was following him like a dog, but didn't say anything; only looked around with a state of confusion on his face. Legion exited to cave to what appeared to be GTX's base..but only, newer looking..

"NO HAMTARO! WHERE ARE WE?!" screamed DVG in a slightly insane voice. "Be quiet, idiot!" replied Legion.

The old base seemed to be older looking with all the stone and bricks. Legion still confused searched, but with DVG following behind. They exited the base and looked in the distance. Legion shocked, had just realized that they were in the past! The damn plothole drove them into the past! They're were brick roads, a castle, old clothes and knights and swordsmen. Legion looked around thinking calmly about what to do next..