New Story: "This Can't End Well"

09-05-2003, 04:33 PM

Now that it's the weekend, I'm thinking up a new story idea! How does it go? Well, it'll work like any other OG you'd post in, with a few extra rules.

1. No SPAM! I hate SPAM. SPAM and die. What is SPAM? Well, if you fill your post with every celebrity you know and pictures of them and random objects, with little or no real storyline, we might laugh at it. If you do it a few too many times, it get's old and no one cares anymore. If you do it consistently, you're a SPAMmer.

2. No flame wars. Flaming is to be done in another topic, and preferably out of VGF and message boards all together. If you have a problem with someone, talk about it one-on-one in AOL or PMs.

And Finally, the namesake rule...

3. The lose clause. By the end of the story, whatever plot has been devised and whomever is involved, the protagonist(s) must lose! That's right! At the end of this story, the "hero" will not win. Not necissarily that the bad guys win, just that the people we've been following the whole story wind up losing at the end, preferably in an embarrasing way.

That stated, I'll be the first to start! For starters, let's make a Mario-related story in which Mario doesn't win. I'm sure all the NCers would enjoy that. And now, let the madness begin!

Story I: Mario Fails to Save Princess Peach.

Prologue: A "Serene" Day in the Mushroom Kingdom.

It was a quite, relatively serene day in the Mushroom Kingdom. Fire flowers blooming, tiny Mushroom children skipping down a golden brick path, a pair of goombas sitting under a shady tree making sweet passionate unbridled...erm...let's pan away from this scene...

Now then, as a typical day in the Mushroom kingdom, Mario is hanging out at Peach's castle. Luigi has taken the day off to clean Mario's Pad. A shimmering lake lays across the green, rolling hills, and a Mushroom couple are making sweet, passionate, unbridled...ack! How'd we get here again? Anyway, let's pan back to the castle, where Princess Peach is putting on her makeup, in black underwear (well, at least it ins't 100% X-rated).

Peach: (Humming the Mario tune as she applies lip gloss).

(Helicoper noises)

Peach: Huh? What's that?

Evil Voice: Peach! I have come to take you away from the Mushroom Kingdom! Come with me! You have no chance! But first, put some decent clothes on before this turns into a porn story!

Peach: Oh no! It's...

Wahsapa · 09-05-2003, 06:25 PM

Peach:...Chickity China the Chinese Chicken!

Chickity China the Chinese Chicken: That's right, it's me! I'm back to invade all of your base! And, to make things worse, I have changed my mind!

Peach: OH NO!!!

Chickity China the Chinese Chicken: That's right, I DON'T want you to get any DECENT CLOTHING! I want you to get SKIMPY CLOTHING! BWAHAHAHAHAHA, Chickity China the Chinese Chicken STRIKES AGAIN!

Peach: OH NOOOOO!!!! NOT SKIMPY CLOTHING!!! IF MARIO SEES ME HE WILL...

[ September 05, 2003, 06:26 PM: Message edited by: Yasashi Yoake ]

09-05-2003, 08:23 PM

Prologue 3: Peach is Kidnapped, and the Plot tenderizes.

Peach: ...he'll want to "do it"! And no woman in the right mind would want that, Chickity China the Chinese...

Chickity: Please, don't use my whole name, it's too long. Just call me Chickity. Anyway, Peach, I intend to turn you into my most sexy harim in my court! Of course, seeing as how all the other harims are chickens as well, that shouldn't be too much of a problem. Now come with me, my little Peachy, into the Chinese Helecopter to my secret "fortress" of sexy women!

Chickety proceeds to force Peach into a poorly-constructed wooden helecopter with his beak. With as much skill as a chicken with a helecopter could muster, he flies off to his secret "fortress".

Peach: Help! Help! Save me Mario! SAAAAAVVVVVVEEEEEE MEEEEEE!!!!!!

Mario, hearing the high-pitched screams of Peach, looks up to see her hanging over the edge of the chopper, in an unintentionally revealing way.

Mario: Wowza! If that isn't insentive enough to rescue Peach, I don't know what is! I must save Mario before that chicken gets to her and makes her some wierd animal-only freak! To the Mariomobile!

And thus, the epic story of Mario going to find Chickity's secret "Fortress" of sexy women, in an attempt to get some from Princess Peach. How will he ever find the fortress? Moreso, what strange quests await him on the way? Find out in the first chapter, coming soon!

To be started...

09-05-2003, 04:33 PM	#1
James Raskopf Guest Posts: n/a	Now that it's the weekend, I'm thinking up a new story idea! How does it go? Well, it'll work like any other OG you'd post in, with a few extra rules. 1. No SPAM! I hate SPAM. SPAM and die. What is SPAM? Well, if you fill your post with every celebrity you know and pictures of them and random objects, with little or no real storyline, we might laugh at it. If you do it a few too many times, it get's old and no one cares anymore. If you do it consistently, you're a SPAMmer. 2. No flame wars. Flaming is to be done in another topic, and preferably out of VGF and message boards all together. If you have a problem with someone, talk about it one-on-one in AOL or PMs. And Finally, the namesake rule... 3. The lose clause. By the end of the story, whatever plot has been devised and whomever is involved, the protagonist(s) must lose! That's right! At the end of this story, the "hero" will not win. Not necissarily that the bad guys win, just that the people we've been following the whole story wind up losing at the end, preferably in an embarrasing way. That stated, I'll be the first to start! For starters, let's make a Mario-related story in which Mario doesn't win. I'm sure all the NCers would enjoy that. And now, let the madness begin! Story I: Mario Fails to Save Princess Peach. Prologue: A "Serene" Day in the Mushroom Kingdom. It was a quite, relatively serene day in the Mushroom Kingdom. Fire flowers blooming, tiny Mushroom children skipping down a golden brick path, a pair of goombas sitting under a shady tree making sweet passionate unbridled...erm...let's pan away from this scene... Now then, as a typical day in the Mushroom kingdom, Mario is hanging out at Peach's castle. Luigi has taken the day off to clean Mario's Pad. A shimmering lake lays across the green, rolling hills, and a Mushroom couple are making sweet, passionate, unbridled...ack! How'd we get here again? Anyway, let's pan back to the castle, where Princess Peach is putting on her makeup, in black underwear (well, at least it ins't 100% X-rated). Peach: (Humming the Mario tune as she applies lip gloss). (Helicoper noises) Peach: Huh? What's that? Evil Voice: Peach! I have come to take you away from the Mushroom Kingdom! Come with me! You have no chance! But first, put some decent clothes on before this turns into a porn story! Peach: Oh no! It's...

09-05-2003, 06:25 PM	#2
Wahsapa Member Join Date: May 1999 Location: Southern California Posts: 2,216 Thanks: 0 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts	Peach:...Chickity China the Chinese Chicken! Chickity China the Chinese Chicken: That's right, it's me! I'm back to invade all of your base! And, to make things worse, I have changed my mind! Peach: OH NO!!! Chickity China the Chinese Chicken: That's right, I DON'T want you to get any DECENT CLOTHING! I want you to get SKIMPY CLOTHING! BWAHAHAHAHAHA, Chickity China the Chinese Chicken STRIKES AGAIN! Peach: OH NOOOOO!!!! NOT SKIMPY CLOTHING!!! IF MARIO SEES ME HE WILL... [ September 05, 2003, 06:26 PM: Message edited by: Yasashi Yoake ]

09-05-2003, 08:23 PM	#3
James Raskopf Guest Posts: n/a	Prologue 3: Peach is Kidnapped, and the Plot tenderizes. Peach: ...he'll want to "do it"! And no woman in the right mind would want that, Chickity China the Chinese... Chickity: Please, don't use my whole name, it's too long. Just call me Chickity. Anyway, Peach, I intend to turn you into my most sexy harim in my court! Of course, seeing as how all the other harims are chickens as well, that shouldn't be too much of a problem. Now come with me, my little Peachy, into the Chinese Helecopter to my secret "fortress" of sexy women! Chickety proceeds to force Peach into a poorly-constructed wooden helecopter with his beak. With as much skill as a chicken with a helecopter could muster, he flies off to his secret "fortress". Peach: Help! Help! Save me Mario! SAAAAAVVVVVVEEEEEE MEEEEEE!!!!!! Mario, hearing the high-pitched screams of Peach, looks up to see her hanging over the edge of the chopper, in an unintentionally revealing way. Mario: Wowza! If that isn't insentive enough to rescue Peach, I don't know what is! I must save Mario before that chicken gets to her and makes her some wierd animal-only freak! To the Mariomobile! And thus, the epic story of Mario going to find Chickity's secret "Fortress" of sexy women, in an attempt to get some from Princess Peach. How will he ever find the fortress? Moreso, what strange quests await him on the way? Find out in the first chapter, coming soon! To be started...