Something to Blow Christians' Minds

MeowMan · 07-12-2010, 09:36 PM

In the bible there is no mention of God putting more humans on the Earth that weren't through Eve's pregnancy after Adam and Eve. And humans obviously can't produce asexually. That means that all humans are imbred.

Bomby · 07-12-2010, 09:51 PM

In defense of the Bible, it never says that God doesn't make more people.

But to further your point, Genesis has quite-a-many of logical gaps.

I'm not Christian, but two of my roommates are. One of them was reading a book on "taking the Bible seriously but not literally" or something like that, which I think is becoming a more and more popular idea.

MeowMan · 07-12-2010, 10:00 PM

More proof from bible:

When the world fluded, Noah was told to take his family with him. I don't remember if it said friends or not, but I'm pretty sure it didn't. If it didn't say friends, that would prove that all humans are imbred. And the story of Noah's Ark says something else too: "God told Noah to take one male and one female of every species of animal onto the ark." And that implies that all animals are imbred.

**Crazyswordsman** · 07-12-2010, 10:26 PM

If you want to know how accurate an account the Bible has, it says that bats are a type of bird. -CSM

**Deku Trii** · 07-12-2010, 10:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Crazyswordsman

If you want to know how accurate an account the Bible has, it says that bats are a type of bird. -CSM

Not to argue against the case you're trying to make, but I don't know that that's the best example. It assumes that the characteristics that place an animal in the bird category have been constant throughout history, and that the author was just wrong about what characteristics a bat had. It's possible that at the time of its writing, bats would have qualified as birds by the criteria used to classify animals as birds.

Robotazy · 07-12-2010, 11:26 PM

I specifically remember my Religion Teacher comparing The book of Genesis to a Trailer Park.

He was there for one year.

**Valigarmander** · 07-12-2010, 11:30 PM

If Jesus died and came back to life, doesn't that make him a zombie?

If we eat his body and drink his blood, doesn't that make us cannibals?

***CaptHayfever*** · 07-13-2010, 12:38 AM

According to the Jews, who have been reading it for twice as long as Christianity has even existed (and who, ya know, wrote it), chapter 1 of Genesis was added during the Babylonian exile to create a story corresponding with the Babylonians' 7-day week.

And remember, "I'm-a Luigi, number one!"

MeowMan · 07-13-2010, 12:56 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Valigarmander

If Jesus died and came back to life, doesn't that make him a zombie?

Technically, yes. He was undead and still had a body. Also technically, no. He didn't walk around with his arms in front of him, his hands down, and always say, "Uuuhh."

Quote:

Originally Posted by Valigarmander

If we eat his body and drink his blood, doesn't that make us cannibals?

No. Bread and wine only represent his body and blood. There not really it.

Dylan · 07-13-2010, 01:14 AM

I'm a Christian. My mind was not blown. This thread fails to deliver.

Pixelated Penguin · 07-13-2010, 01:25 AM

How about these, then?

'The Immaculate Conception' refers not to the virgin birth of Jesus, but that Mary was conceived sinless.

The fruit that Adam and Eve ate was never specified as being an apple.

Though, those are not inconsistencies - just things that contradict misconceptions. I think taking the Bible literally, rather than just as a collection of stories designed to espouse a set of morals, is looking at it the wrong way. Taken literally, it doesn't make any sense.

**Loot** · 07-13-2010, 03:14 AM

I heard something about how incest did not exist until after the flood when the sun's rays reached the earth after the waters receded. I dunno, can't remember, seemed kinda stupid.

***Cosmonautical*** · 07-13-2010, 04:41 AM

THEN WHO WAS PHONE?!

Seriously though, and pardon my french, but if I just took a dump and it isn't in the bible, did it then never happen? Is there a biblical conspiracy involving the removal of passages describing the moral relevance of my toilet time? THIS JUST IN: NOBODY IN THE BIBLE PEES. EVER. MAYBE.

***Ace Mercury*** · 07-13-2010, 07:33 AM

Inconsistencies in the bible are old hat. People who believe it literally have closed their minds to any sort of assault.

Also, re: blood and flesh of Christ: Transubstantiation -- some sects believe it literally becomes blood and flesh. Like magic.

Also: As a child, I was surprised that there were so many different sects of Christianity.

Dylan · 07-13-2010, 09:37 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pixelated Penguin

How about these, then?

'The Immaculate Conception' refers not to the virgin birth of Jesus, but that Mary was conceived sinless.

The fruit that Adam and Eve ate was never specified as being an apple.

Though, those are not inconsistencies - just things that contradict misconceptions. I think taking the Bible literally, rather than just as a collection of stories designed to espouse a set of morals, is looking at it the wrong way. Taken literally, it doesn't make any sense.

Also knew those. I am disappoint.

Panfan · 07-13-2010, 10:34 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MeowMan

No. Bread and wine only represent his body and blood. There not really it.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Luther's Catechism

288. What do we receive, therefore, in, with, and under the bread and the wine in Holy Communion?

1369) 1 Corinthians 10:16. Is not the cup of thanksgiving for which we give thanks a participation in [Greek: a sharing in] the blood of Christ? And is not the bread that we break a participation in [Greek: a sharing in] the body of christ?

1370) 1 Corinthians 11:27. Whoever eats the bread or drinks the cup of the lord in an unworthy manner will be guilty of sinning against the body and blood of the Lord

288. In Holy Communion we receive the true body of Christ in, with, and under the bread and the true blood of Christ together with the wine.

and Ace already mentioned the belief in Transubstantiation which is the bread and wine turning into the body and blood. There are those who believe that the bread and wine are just representations of the body and blood (I think that's more in the Reformed churches...)

Also, my mind hasn't been blown.

Bomby · 07-13-2010, 10:37 AM

Those who eat the flesh of the Tang monk will live forever.

Jailbreaker · 07-13-2010, 12:28 PM

Can God create a stone so heavy that he cannot lift it? In either case, he is not omnipotent.

... Are those lightning clouds forming up there?

Luigiman7 · 07-13-2010, 12:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MeowMan

Technically, yes. He was undead and still had a body. Also technically, no. He didn't walk around with his arms in front of him, his hands down, and always say, "Uuuhh."

>implying all zombies are bumbling idiots

Panfan · 07-13-2010, 12:54 PM

yeah i know, someone needs to play Left 4 Dead...

07-12-2010, 09:36 PM	#1
MeowMan Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2009 Location: Las Pegasus Gender: Posts: 6,606 Thanks: 849 Thanked 208 Times in 132 Posts Blog Entries: 46	Something to Blow Christians' Minds In the bible there is no mention of God putting more humans on the Earth that weren't through Eve's pregnancy after Adam and Eve. And humans obviously can't produce asexually. That means that all humans are imbred. Last edited by Cosmonautical; 11-14-2010 at 06:42 AM.

07-13-2010, 04:41 AM	#13
*Cosmonautical* Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: I rub my tilde all over your asterisk Gender: Posts: 28,100 Thanks: 2,151 Thanked 5,338 Times in 2,433 Posts	This isn't rocket surgery. THEN WHO WAS PHONE?! Seriously though, and pardon my french, but if I just took a dump and it isn't in the bible, did it then never happen? Is there a biblical conspiracy involving the removal of passages describing the moral relevance of my toilet time? THIS JUST IN: NOBODY IN THE BIBLE PEES. EVER. MAYBE.

07-12-2010, 09:51 PM	#2
Bomby You just freaking blew Joe Biden's mind! Join Date: Jun 2000 Location: WHAT?house Gender: Posts: 19,491 Thanks: 513 Thanked 1,449 Times in 849 Posts Blog Entries: 5	In defense of the Bible, it never says that God doesn't make more people. But to further your point, Genesis has quite-a-many of logical gaps. I'm not Christian, but two of my roommates are. One of them was reading a book on "taking the Bible seriously but not literally" or something like that, which I think is becoming a more and more popular idea.

07-12-2010, 10:00 PM	#3
MeowMan Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2009 Location: Las Pegasus Gender: Posts: 6,606 Thanks: 849 Thanked 208 Times in 132 Posts Blog Entries: 46	More proof from bible: When the world fluded, Noah was told to take his family with him. I don't remember if it said friends or not, but I'm pretty sure it didn't. If it didn't say friends, that would prove that all humans are imbred. And the story of Noah's Ark says something else too: "God told Noah to take one male and one female of every species of animal onto the ark." And that implies that all animals are imbred.

07-12-2010, 10:26 PM	#4
Crazyswordsman This key doesn't work. Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Booyaville (yeah!) Gender: Posts: 10,791 Thanks: 1,019 Thanked 686 Times in 467 Posts	If you want to know how accurate an account the Bible has, it says that bats are a type of bird. -CSM

07-12-2010, 11:26 PM	#6
Robotazy PRESS ANY KEY TO PANIC! Join Date: Sep 2000 Location: A Tiny Shed Gender: Posts: 16,483 Thanks: 529 Thanked 1,254 Times in 897 Posts Blog Entries: 46	I specifically remember my Religion Teacher comparing The book of Genesis to a Trailer Park. He was there for one year.

07-12-2010, 11:30 PM	#7
Valigarmander The Bee's Knees Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: The land of rain and trees (Oregon) Gender: Posts: 29,755 Thanks: 1,649 Thanked 5,700 Times in 2,580 Posts Blog Entries: 20	If Jesus died and came back to life, doesn't that make him a zombie? If we eat his body and drink his blood, doesn't that make us cannibals?

07-13-2010, 12:38 AM	#8
*CaptHayfever* Smash SuperMod Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: (n) - the place where I am Gender: Posts: 27,661 Thanks: 1,991 Thanked 2,486 Times in 1,513 Posts	According to the Jews, who have been reading it for twice as long as Christianity has even existed (and who, ya know, wrote it), chapter 1 of Genesis was added during the Babylonian exile to create a story corresponding with the Babylonians' 7-day week. And remember, "I'm-a Luigi, number one!"

07-13-2010, 01:14 AM	#10
Dylan Senior Member Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Teenage Wasteland Gender: Posts: 7,790 Thanks: 1,632 Thanked 1,816 Times in 773 Posts	I'm a Christian. My mind was not blown. This thread fails to deliver.

07-13-2010, 01:25 AM	#11
Pixelated Penguin Junior Member Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: Philadelphia, PA Gender: Posts: 199 Thanks: 26 Thanked 9 Times in 9 Posts	How about these, then? 'The Immaculate Conception' refers not to the virgin birth of Jesus, but that Mary was conceived sinless. The fruit that Adam and Eve ate was never specified as being an apple. Though, those are not inconsistencies - just things that contradict misconceptions. I think taking the Bible literally, rather than just as a collection of stories designed to espouse a set of morals, is looking at it the wrong way. Taken literally, it doesn't make any sense.

07-13-2010, 03:14 AM	#12
Loot Apparently I'm a mod? Join Date: May 2001 Location: LEGITIMATE BUSINESS Gender: Posts: 13,208 Thanks: 236 Thanked 1,237 Times in 659 Posts	I heard something about how incest did not exist until after the flood when the sun's rays reached the earth after the waters receded. I dunno, can't remember, seemed kinda stupid.

07-13-2010, 07:33 AM	#14
*Ace Mercury* Marshmallow Knight ☆ Supermod Join Date: Jun 2000 Location: Southern Ontario Gender: Posts: 23,275 Thanks: 568 Thanked 3,297 Times in 1,582 Posts Blog Entries: 1	Inconsistencies in the bible are old hat. People who believe it literally have closed their minds to any sort of assault. Also, re: blood and flesh of Christ: Transubstantiation -- some sects believe it literally becomes blood and flesh. Like magic. Also: As a child, I was surprised that there were so many different sects of Christianity.

07-13-2010, 10:37 AM	#17
Bomby You just freaking blew Joe Biden's mind! Join Date: Jun 2000 Location: WHAT?house Gender: Posts: 19,491 Thanks: 513 Thanked 1,449 Times in 849 Posts Blog Entries: 5	Those who eat the flesh of the Tang monk will live forever.

07-13-2010, 12:28 PM	#18
Jailbreaker Senior Member Join Date: Jun 2008 Location: Not in jail anymore, yay! Gender: Posts: 3,482 Thanks: 1,074 Thanked 185 Times in 118 Posts	Can God create a stone so heavy that he cannot lift it? In either case, he is not omnipotent. ... Are those lightning clouds forming up there?

07-13-2010, 12:54 PM	#20
Panfan AND HE PRAYS Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: Grayskull Gender: Posts: 18,806 Thanks: 1,405 Thanked 2,250 Times in 1,338 Posts Blog Entries: 15	yeah i know, someone needs to play Left 4 Dead...