Ask Malik Anything VI: The Third Anniversary Revival - Page 3

Golden Ganon · 11-11-2006, 12:14 PM

1. Why are we alive?

Bomby · 11-11-2006, 12:37 PM

Shine: 1. My least favorite person is John Jackson, the one who lives on 1433 Commerce St. in Waunakee, WI. He knows why.

2. Yes. I know that because I am one.
3. It's not the sock gnomes, it's the Red Hot Chili Peppers. They steal your socks so they can do the socko thing at concerts.

Bartman: 1. Okay this is a big government secret, and I'm not supposed to know it, so I'll put it in spoiler tags:
Spoiler Below

Oswald killed Kennedy. He used a magic bullet.

2. Once again, spoiler tags:
Spoiler Below

Bin Laden caused 9/11. He used magic airplanes.

3. For the hell of it, once again, spoiler tags:
Spoiler Below

Your shoes are brown. Not the ones you're wearing now, but the ones you threw away when you were little because you outgrew them. They're in a dump now, getting s***ted on by lots of different animals.

Kaiser: 1. Hmm... I would say yes to a friend that offered me one. Too lazy to walk to the store for a Klondike bar.
2. It makes my eyes look cool. Other than that, it can make shipments of my death order for John Jackson, the one who lives on 1433 Commerce St. Waunakee, WI. He knows why.

3. No. I just woke up a few hours ago.

Gannon: 1. Because Jet Li allowed Chuck Norris to allow us to live.

Bartman101 · 11-11-2006, 01:19 PM

When is bush gunna get assasinated?

Kaiser · 11-11-2006, 02:04 PM

1. Why does dirt taste so good if you're not supposed to eat it?
2. Shouldn't your baby be a Gerber baby?

Quote:

2. It makes my eyes look cool. Other than that, it can make shipments of my death order for John Jackson, the one who lives on 1433 Commerce St. Waunakee, WI. He knows why.

3. Feel like talking about it?

oO kr Oo · 11-11-2006, 02:52 PM

1) why can't i login in to my own acount, i remember my password

Shine Dude · 11-11-2006, 03:20 PM

1. How did water get on Earth?
2. How can I prevent my shoelaces getting torn up?
3. Mad Magazine or Mad TV?

Bomby · 11-11-2006, 05:02 PM

Bartman: Probably never. I mean, if he gets assassinated then DICK CHENEY will be our president. Would you want that?

Kaiser: 1. If dirt didn't taste good, then plants wouldn't taste good, which means vegetables and fruits wouldn't taste good. This also means that animals like chicken wouldn't taste good, because they feed on plants.
2. My daughter is a senior in high school. She's too old to be a Gerber baby.
3. No use. He knows why.

kr128: Because the vitametavegamin hacked into it and changed the password.

Shine: 1. More like, how did Earth get on water. Think about it: water started this planet sh**, and this that motha****in' thanks it gets?
2. The easiest precaution would be to tie them so that you're not stepping on them all the time. If you have really long shoelaces, try tripleknotting them. I have to do that with my chucks all the time.
3. MadTV wins by default, because I've never read Mad Magazine.

Shine Dude · 11-11-2006, 08:28 PM

My shoelaces get ripped on the sides near the middle of the tounge.

Bomby · 11-11-2006, 08:31 PM

Stop putting knives in your shoes.

Shine Dude · 11-11-2006, 08:36 PM

Fine then. I'll just ask you more questions.

1. What's with the cheap knock-off of Dr. Pepper, like Dr. Choice or Dr. Thunder?

2. Would you rather have an afro, shaggy hair, or baldness.

3. What really happens when you swollow Pop Rocks and soda together?

Bomby · 11-11-2006, 08:40 PM

Shine: 1. What, since when was Dr. Pepper the only soda allowed to have a PhD? Respect their edumacational hustle/gangsta!
2. Afro, all day. I always wanted one so I could sit there and pick my 'fro all day like my idol Ahmir "?uestlove" Thompson:

But my hair is stick straight, and I wouldn't look good with an afro, anyways.
3. Every time you swallow soda and pop rocks together, MTV sends Ashton Kutcher to your house to annoy you by incessantly screaming "Oh my god, you are SOOOO stupid!!!" and forcing you to watch reruns of Punk'd.

One more ?uestlove 'fro pic for good measure:

Mikhail Gorbachev · 11-11-2006, 08:51 PM

1. Who is your daddy, and what does he do?
2. Ever microwave a CD?
3. Or grapes?
(If you haven't, try it. Don't sue me if something catches fire or explodes)

Bomby · 11-11-2006, 08:53 PM

PP: 1. My daddy is Dennis, and he works for Keebler.
2. CD's are not to be microwaved. Unless it's Britney Spears. Man, her music sucks.
3. Yes! It's even better if you cut them in half, first.

Golden Ganon · 11-12-2006, 07:01 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Malik Zaki Jamesha

Gannon: 1. Because Jet Li allowed Chuck Norris to allow us to live.

Don't use spell check on my name. It's Ganon not Gannon.

Shine Dude · 11-12-2006, 07:46 AM

1. When's the best time to rob a bank?
2. Where's the best place to hide from the cops?
3. How much jail sentence will I, er someone get for robbing a bank, hijacking 12 cars, and the kidnapping of the school mascot?

Kaiser · 11-12-2006, 12:46 PM

1. What's the sound of one hand clapping?
2. Can you touch your nose with your tongue?
3. Why won't the monsters in my closet go away?

X-3 · 11-12-2006, 01:12 PM

1.) Why the hell is a giant monkey head trying to rule some galaxy?
2.) Why do people think Zero is gay because of his "boob lights', when it's obvious that Sigma is the gay one?
3.) Why does everyone look stupid in Star Fox: Command?
4.) Why do my questions suck so much?

Mikhail Gorbachev · 11-12-2006, 02:19 PM

^OMG ONLY 3 ALLOWED
1. When will you reach 20,000 posts?
2. 30,000?
3. 100,000?

Bomby · 11-12-2006, 07:53 PM

Shine: 1. I usually find my bank robberies are most well executed in the morning. Usually, I just calmly pull out my samurai sword while sipping on herbal tea and politely ask the attendant to hand over the money before I slice her f***ing head off.
2. Usually the Fire Dept.
3. Probably life. Unless you live in Los Angeles, where you'll likely serve a life sentence within three days.

Kaiser: 1. It sounds like two hands clapping, but much quieter, usually. It depends on the velocity in which the fingers strike the bottom of the palm and how quickly they release.
2. Yes, with help from my finger to push the tip of my nose down.
3. Have you tried using the katana? The pole? The nunchuckus? Hell... if all else fails, use fire.

X-3: Normally I would skip over a post with more than three questions, but since this is your first time, I will make an exception.
1. The giant monkey head is actually controlled by overlord Xenu, and he wants to steal your thetans from you.
2. Because of the "boob" lights.
3. Nintendo sometimes believes that their consumers have bad taste. It's one of their corporate slogans. However, the Zelda games are so far contrary to that slogan.
4. Because your mother laces all of your meals with cocaine.

PP: 1. Maybe sometime.
2. Probably never.
3. No way.

Shine Dude · 11-15-2006, 10:00 PM

1. Why did I fall asleep at 7:30 yesterday?
2. Why is my brother a wimp?
3. How can I get dog hair away from my house?

11-11-2006, 12:14 PM	#41
Golden Ganon Senior Member Join Date: May 2006 Location: North Dakota, U.S. Gender: Posts: 3,396 Thanks: 38 Thanked 67 Times in 60 Posts Points: 10,258.08 Bank: 103.04 Total Points: 10,361.12 Donate	1. Why are we alive?

11-11-2006, 12:37 PM	#42
Bomby I saved Latin! What did you ever do? Join Date: Jun 2000 Location: The People's Republic of Madison, WI Gender: Posts: 14,989 Thanks: 202 Thanked 519 Times in 347 Posts Blog Entries: 4 Points: 7,927.84 Bank: 2,225,874.99 Total Points: 2,233,802.83 Donate	Shine: 1. My least favorite person is John Jackson, the one who lives on 1433 Commerce St. in Waunakee, WI. He knows why. 2. Yes. I know that because I am one. 3. It's not the sock gnomes, it's the Red Hot Chili Peppers. They steal your socks so they can do the socko thing at concerts. Bartman: 1. Okay this is a big government secret, and I'm not supposed to know it, so I'll put it in spoiler tags: Spoiler Below Oswald killed Kennedy. He used a magic bullet. 2. Once again, spoiler tags: Spoiler Below Bin Laden caused 9/11. He used magic airplanes. 3. For the hell of it, once again, spoiler tags: Spoiler Below Your shoes are brown. Not the ones you're wearing now, but the ones you threw away when you were little because you outgrew them. They're in a dump now, getting s***ted on by lots of different animals. Kaiser: 1. Hmm... I would say yes to a friend that offered me one. Too lazy to walk to the store for a Klondike bar. 2. It makes my eyes look cool. Other than that, it can make shipments of my death order for John Jackson, the one who lives on 1433 Commerce St. Waunakee, WI. He knows why. 3. No. I just woke up a few hours ago. Gannon: 1. Because Jet Li allowed Chuck Norris to allow us to live.

11-11-2006, 01:19 PM	#43
Bartman101 Senior Member Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: I'm Bartman, ya fool Gender: Posts: 5,804 Thanks: 385 Thanked 123 Times in 99 Posts Blog Entries: 1 Points: 3,099.63 Bank: 51,557.37 Total Points: 54,657.00 Donate	When is bush gunna get assasinated?

11-11-2006, 02:52 PM	#45
oO kr Oo Newbie Join Date: Nov 2006 Gender: Posts: 7 Thanks: 0 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts Points: 726.00 Bank: 0.00 Total Points: 726.00 Donate	1) why can't i login in to my own acount, i remember my password

11-11-2006, 03:20 PM	#46
Shine Dude Senior Member Join Date: Jun 2004 Location: Mizzou Gender: Posts: 3,965 Thanks: 81 Thanked 83 Times in 67 Posts Points: 8,415.71 Bank: 188,510.19 Total Points: 196,925.90 Donate	1. How did water get on Earth? 2. How can I prevent my shoelaces getting torn up? 3. Mad Magazine or Mad TV?

11-11-2006, 05:02 PM	#47
Bomby I saved Latin! What did you ever do? Join Date: Jun 2000 Location: The People's Republic of Madison, WI Gender: Posts: 14,989 Thanks: 202 Thanked 519 Times in 347 Posts Blog Entries: 4 Points: 7,927.84 Bank: 2,225,874.99 Total Points: 2,233,802.83 Donate	Bartman: Probably never. I mean, if he gets assassinated then DICK CHENEY will be our president. Would you want that? Kaiser: 1. If dirt didn't taste good, then plants wouldn't taste good, which means vegetables and fruits wouldn't taste good. This also means that animals like chicken wouldn't taste good, because they feed on plants. 2. My daughter is a senior in high school. She's too old to be a Gerber baby. 3. No use. He knows why. kr128: Because the vitametavegamin hacked into it and changed the password. Shine: 1. More like, how did Earth get on water. Think about it: water started this planet sh, and this that motha**in' thanks it gets? 2. The easiest precaution would be to tie them so that you're not stepping on them all the time. If you have really long shoelaces, try tripleknotting them. I have to do that with my chucks all the time. 3. MadTV wins by default, because I've never read Mad Magazine.

11-11-2006, 08:28 PM	#48
Shine Dude Senior Member Join Date: Jun 2004 Location: Mizzou Gender: Posts: 3,965 Thanks: 81 Thanked 83 Times in 67 Posts Points: 8,415.71 Bank: 188,510.19 Total Points: 196,925.90 Donate	My shoelaces get ripped on the sides near the middle of the tounge.

11-11-2006, 08:31 PM	#49
Bomby I saved Latin! What did you ever do? Join Date: Jun 2000 Location: The People's Republic of Madison, WI Gender: Posts: 14,989 Thanks: 202 Thanked 519 Times in 347 Posts Blog Entries: 4 Points: 7,927.84 Bank: 2,225,874.99 Total Points: 2,233,802.83 Donate	Stop putting knives in your shoes.

11-11-2006, 08:36 PM	#50
Shine Dude Senior Member Join Date: Jun 2004 Location: Mizzou Gender: Posts: 3,965 Thanks: 81 Thanked 83 Times in 67 Posts Points: 8,415.71 Bank: 188,510.19 Total Points: 196,925.90 Donate	Fine then. I'll just ask you more questions. 1. What's with the cheap knock-off of Dr. Pepper, like Dr. Choice or Dr. Thunder? 2. Would you rather have an afro, shaggy hair, or baldness. 3. What really happens when you swollow Pop Rocks and soda together?

11-11-2006, 08:40 PM	#51
Bomby I saved Latin! What did you ever do? Join Date: Jun 2000 Location: The People's Republic of Madison, WI Gender: Posts: 14,989 Thanks: 202 Thanked 519 Times in 347 Posts Blog Entries: 4 Points: 7,927.84 Bank: 2,225,874.99 Total Points: 2,233,802.83 Donate	Shine: 1. What, since when was Dr. Pepper the only soda allowed to have a PhD? Respect their edumacational hustle/gangsta! 2. Afro, all day. I always wanted one so I could sit there and pick my 'fro all day like my idol Ahmir "?uestlove" Thompson: But my hair is stick straight, and I wouldn't look good with an afro, anyways. 3. Every time you swallow soda and pop rocks together, MTV sends Ashton Kutcher to your house to annoy you by incessantly screaming "Oh my god, you are SOOOO stupid!!!" and forcing you to watch reruns of Punk'd. One more ?uestlove 'fro pic for good measure:

11-11-2006, 08:51 PM	#52
Mikhail Gorbachev Senior Member Join Date: Nov 2004 Gender: Posts: 9,559 Thanks: 28 Thanked 65 Times in 50 Posts Points: 142.42 Bank: 26,934.80 Total Points: 27,077.22 Donate	1. Who is your daddy, and what does he do? 2. Ever microwave a CD? 3. Or grapes? (If you haven't, try it. Don't sue me if something catches fire or explodes)

11-11-2006, 08:53 PM	#53
Bomby I saved Latin! What did you ever do? Join Date: Jun 2000 Location: The People's Republic of Madison, WI Gender: Posts: 14,989 Thanks: 202 Thanked 519 Times in 347 Posts Blog Entries: 4 Points: 7,927.84 Bank: 2,225,874.99 Total Points: 2,233,802.83 Donate	PP: 1. My daddy is Dennis, and he works for Keebler. 2. CD's are not to be microwaved. Unless it's Britney Spears. Man, her music sucks. 3. Yes! It's even better if you cut them in half, first.

11-12-2006, 07:46 AM	#55
Shine Dude Senior Member Join Date: Jun 2004 Location: Mizzou Gender: Posts: 3,965 Thanks: 81 Thanked 83 Times in 67 Posts Points: 8,415.71 Bank: 188,510.19 Total Points: 196,925.90 Donate	1. When's the best time to rob a bank? 2. Where's the best place to hide from the cops? 3. How much jail sentence will I, er someone get for robbing a bank, hijacking 12 cars, and the kidnapping of the school mascot?

11-12-2006, 12:46 PM	#56
Kaiser Junior Member Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: In your mind... Gender: Posts: 81 Thanks: 7 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts Points: 1,736.74 Bank: 0.00 Total Points: 1,736.74 Donate	1. What's the sound of one hand clapping? 2. Can you touch your nose with your tongue? 3. Why won't the monsters in my closet go away?

11-12-2006, 01:12 PM	#57
X-3 Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: Brigade HQ Gender: Posts: 9,228 Thanks: 279 Thanked 307 Times in 225 Posts Blog Entries: 3 Points: 11,634.18 Bank: 0.00 Total Points: 11,634.18 Donate	1.) Why the hell is a giant monkey head trying to rule some galaxy? 2.) Why do people think Zero is gay because of his "boob lights', when it's obvious that Sigma is the gay one? 3.) Why does everyone look stupid in Star Fox: Command? 4.) Why do my questions suck so much?

11-12-2006, 02:19 PM	#58
Mikhail Gorbachev Senior Member Join Date: Nov 2004 Gender: Posts: 9,559 Thanks: 28 Thanked 65 Times in 50 Posts Points: 142.42 Bank: 26,934.80 Total Points: 27,077.22 Donate	^OMG ONLY 3 ALLOWED 1. When will you reach 20,000 posts? 2. 30,000? 3. 100,000?

11-12-2006, 07:53 PM	#59
Bomby I saved Latin! What did you ever do? Join Date: Jun 2000 Location: The People's Republic of Madison, WI Gender: Posts: 14,989 Thanks: 202 Thanked 519 Times in 347 Posts Blog Entries: 4 Points: 7,927.84 Bank: 2,225,874.99 Total Points: 2,233,802.83 Donate	Shine: 1. I usually find my bank robberies are most well executed in the morning. Usually, I just calmly pull out my samurai sword while sipping on herbal tea and politely ask the attendant to hand over the money before I slice her f***ing head off. 2. Usually the Fire Dept. 3. Probably life. Unless you live in Los Angeles, where you'll likely serve a life sentence within three days. Kaiser: 1. It sounds like two hands clapping, but much quieter, usually. It depends on the velocity in which the fingers strike the bottom of the palm and how quickly they release. 2. Yes, with help from my finger to push the tip of my nose down. 3. Have you tried using the katana? The pole? The nunchuckus? Hell... if all else fails, use fire. X-3: Normally I would skip over a post with more than three questions, but since this is your first time, I will make an exception. 1. The giant monkey head is actually controlled by overlord Xenu, and he wants to steal your thetans from you. 2. Because of the "boob" lights. 3. Nintendo sometimes believes that their consumers have bad taste. It's one of their corporate slogans. However, the Zelda games are so far contrary to that slogan. 4. Because your mother laces all of your meals with cocaine. PP: 1. Maybe sometime. 2. Probably never. 3. No way.

11-15-2006, 10:00 PM	#60
Shine Dude Senior Member Join Date: Jun 2004 Location: Mizzou Gender: Posts: 3,965 Thanks: 81 Thanked 83 Times in 67 Posts Points: 8,415.71 Bank: 188,510.19 Total Points: 196,925.90 Donate	1. Why did I fall asleep at 7:30 yesterday? 2. Why is my brother a wimp? 3. How can I get dog hair away from my house?