Finding intelligent stuff about random crap on Uncyclopedia.

wariovswario · 04-25-2008, 09:29 PM

I'll start off with Poop.

Modern human turds are typically 8-10 feet in length, with the consistency of plasticine.

Feces played a largely unnoticed role in human history until 1517, when Martin Luther nailed his 95 Feces to the church door in Wittenburg, Germany shortly before inventing the cotton gin. Church attendance has never recovered.

Initial research on Baboons attempted to produce the Lanus Cavity in the animals rear into which the seat post of bicycles could be neatly and conveniently slotted, increasing comfort and stability, and thereby eliminating seating shortage problems across the known world. However, his plans went catastrophically awry due to the innate inability of Baboons to ride bikes. One of his initial subjects, who had become prostatically excited, careened headlong into a vat of experimental serum. The entire contents of the vat leeched into a local water supply, and quickly spread to surrounding districts and beyond.

The effects could not have been foreseen. So potent was the serum that it quickly spread as a ravenous genetic virus throughout the biosphere, and before long incidents of the Lanus Cavity were being witnessed in all multi-cellular life forms. Acute embarrassment allowed the virus to spread without hindrance as public officials failed to speak out on the crisis.

Feces also becomes diarrhea? AHH ****!!

It is considered to be really fun to wrap your feces around your waste like a belt.

The new system of “defecation” inspired the great psychologist, Sigmund Freud, to write his most important paper, “The Origin and Development of Filthy Little Sluts.” This seminal work outlined the deep bio-psychological roots of Sex and Filth. He theorised that the evolutionary connection between breast feeding and mammary defecation lead to formation of latent repressed “copro-mammarial” complexes comprised of evolutionary memories, feelings of bodily alienation and envy of cattle with muddy udders.

Later on, in the 1970’s, Feminist leaders used Freud’s theory as ‘solid proof’ that all men think women are full of ****.

According to the modern Scatologists there are over 500 different kinds of feces on record, though only seven are commonly taught to doctors, as demonstrated on the Bristol Stool Form Scale(BSFS). A further five types have been approved for industrial uses, and in certain eastern countries cosmetic and culinary applications have been developed. Japanese coprophagists have successfully marketed a chain of Scataway Turdburger™ outlets, to rival McDonald's in terms of flavour and nutritional value, as demonstrated by exponential sales throughout the west. This is partly due to their infamous mascot, head, who was almost killed by accident by Dustin lovell, who thought he was a zombie.
Residual shame continues to prevent educational institutions from teaching modern people the true origins of the so called Anal (derived from Lanus) defecation method.

A modern interweb, Fecesbook, exists in order to allow anal-expulsives to display their deposits on a personal page, where amateur and professional copromaniacs alike can "rate" their brown efforts. Some argue that this encourages users to overrate their defecatory prowess, and subsequently maintain that their "****'s all that." An advocate of Fecesbook will generally respond to this criticism by screaming, jumping up and down, and smearing **** all over everything.

Feces are not so bad. They are just our food in different form. If you could get past the smell, I'm sure they'd be tasty.

The Names Of feces

Number 2
poop
crap
turd
brownies
mud
ca-ca
$l-l!7
poopoo
doodoo
God's Great Gift
mudbutt
anus paste
feces
fecal matter
Prairie Dog
Does it matter?
last night's dinner
tonight's dinner
anus paste
doo-dee
back ***** brown piss of hardness
chocolate
cigars
n00bs
doodoo nuggets
p00p
d00d00
fudge potatoes
ass piss
the ****
THIS IZ DA ****!
"who let fluffy off the chain"
cow pies
excrement
diareha
but secs nightmare
butt sex nightmare
but secks nitmare
toilet logs
ass cakes
butt brownies
slagathor
boob
the nolls
hot chocolate
Lincoln log

Demonic Lemonade · 04-25-2008, 10:41 PM

"who let fluffy off the chain" lol

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04-25-2008, 09:29 PM	#1
wariovswario Godly Member Join Date: Jul 2000 Gender: Posts: 4,388 Thanks: 91 Thanked 78 Times in 56 Posts Blog Entries: 2 Points: 1,283.12 Bank: 754,265.42 Total Points: 755,548.54 Donate	Finding intelligent stuff about random crap on Uncyclopedia. I'll start off with Poop. Modern human turds are typically 8-10 feet in length, with the consistency of plasticine. Feces played a largely unnoticed role in human history until 1517, when Martin Luther nailed his 95 Feces to the church door in Wittenburg, Germany shortly before inventing the cotton gin. Church attendance has never recovered. Initial research on Baboons attempted to produce the Lanus Cavity in the animals rear into which the seat post of bicycles could be neatly and conveniently slotted, increasing comfort and stability, and thereby eliminating seating shortage problems across the known world. However, his plans went catastrophically awry due to the innate inability of Baboons to ride bikes. One of his initial subjects, who had become prostatically excited, careened headlong into a vat of experimental serum. The entire contents of the vat leeched into a local water supply, and quickly spread to surrounding districts and beyond. The effects could not have been foreseen. So potent was the serum that it quickly spread as a ravenous genetic virus throughout the biosphere, and before long incidents of the Lanus Cavity were being witnessed in all multi-cellular life forms. Acute embarrassment allowed the virus to spread without hindrance as public officials failed to speak out on the crisis. Feces also becomes diarrhea? AHH **!! It is considered to be really fun to wrap your feces around your waste like a belt. The new system of “defecation” inspired the great psychologist, Sigmund Freud, to write his most important paper, “The Origin and Development of Filthy Little Sluts.” This seminal work outlined the deep bio-psychological roots of Sex and Filth. He theorised that the evolutionary connection between breast feeding and mammary defecation lead to formation of latent repressed “copro-mammarial” complexes comprised of evolutionary memories, feelings of bodily alienation and envy of cattle with muddy udders. Later on, in the 1970’s, Feminist leaders used Freud’s theory as ‘solid proof’ that all men think women are full of . According to the modern Scatologists there are over 500 different kinds of feces on record, though only seven are commonly taught to doctors, as demonstrated on the Bristol Stool Form Scale(BSFS). A further five types have been approved for industrial uses, and in certain eastern countries cosmetic and culinary applications have been developed. Japanese coprophagists have successfully marketed a chain of Scataway Turdburger™ outlets, to rival McDonald's in terms of flavour and nutritional value, as demonstrated by exponential sales throughout the west. This is partly due to their infamous mascot, head, who was almost killed by accident by Dustin lovell, who thought he was a zombie. Residual shame continues to prevent educational institutions from teaching modern people the true origins of the so called Anal (derived from Lanus) defecation method. A modern interweb, Fecesbook, exists in order to allow anal-expulsives to display their deposits on a personal page, where amateur and professional copromaniacs alike can "rate" their brown efforts. Some argue that this encourages users to overrate their defecatory prowess, and subsequently maintain that their "'s all that." An advocate of Fecesbook will generally respond to this criticism by screaming, jumping up and down, and smearing all over everything. Feces are not so bad. They are just our food in different form. If you could get past the smell, I'm sure they'd be tasty. The Names Of feces Number 2 poop crap turd brownies mud ca-ca $l-l!7 poopoo doodoo God's Great Gift mudbutt anus paste feces fecal matter Prairie Dog Does it matter? last night's dinner tonight's dinner anus paste doo-dee back * brown piss of hardness chocolate cigars n00bs doodoo nuggets p00p d00d00 fudge potatoes ass piss the THIS IZ DA **! "who let fluffy off the chain" cow pies excrement diareha but secs nightmare butt sex nightmare but secks nitmare toilet logs ass cakes butt brownies slagathor boob the nolls hot chocolate Lincoln log __________________ Click here to level up my card!

04-25-2008, 10:41 PM	#2
Demonic Lemonade You cannot resist the lemonade Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: Kingston, Massachusetts Gender: Posts: 5,408 Thanks: 176 Thanked 281 Times in 222 Posts Blog Entries: 3 Points: 453.61 Bank: 1,650.97 Total Points: 2,104.58 Donate	"who let fluffy off the chain" lol Did You Know?