I might as well say it.

Kil'jaeden · 04-23-2007, 01:51 PM

Well, it all started with me rejoining the band, mostly because I missed my friends there. I met a girl, and for a while I kind of had a crush on her. My friend also had a crush on her, and he's not introverted like I am so he talked to her more. She got to know me because of him, and then she hung around me at band and other functions for a bit. I resented my best friend very much for a while, and basically cut myself off from him. He didn't talk to me much either. I and this girl became casual friends, and I came to her birthday party when my friend didn't. I knew my friend liked her, but I wasn't sure if she felt the same about him. So, even though I liked her, I wouldn't say because of my friend and my shyness in these matters. We became good friends, and one day she tells me that she likes me, and has finally gotten the courage to say it. I nearly fainted, and then had a sort of high that I don't think any drug could match. I tell her basically the same thing. We went out for a while, and I could talk to her about things that I couldn't even mention to my family. I learned quite a bit about her, too. I was skeptical at first that she liked me, and I looked into it and found that she had asked others for advice on how to approach me. She said that I am so aloof that I don't seem to notice people blatantly hitting on me. Well, we go out for a while, and I come to like her much more than I did before. I enjoy her presence above everything, and I go out of my way to help her with things, even though she never asked me to. Eventually, I try to tell her how I feel about her, and she comforts me but also stays away from the subject of feelings. I feel that I screwed up what I was going to say, and I go to her concert the next day. On Sunday we talk about prom, and I see her dress and mask, and she tells me I am to wear a black tuxedo. The day after this, she calls and says that she wants to break up. She won't give an explanation until the next day after I bug her about it. I asked her if she had just lost interest, and she said yes. Now I find she is going to the prom with a friend of hers, who is gay. Now I have sort of a love-hate feeling toward her, and she seems to be avoiding me. Are relationships always messy like this? I really don't know why any of this happened. Now I don't even know if I can remain her friend or not.

Lady Bane · 07-13-2007, 11:59 AM

Awww.... I do have to say, I cant answer your question, kil'jaeden, because my answer would be biased. I've had my share of 'messy' relationships, but remember, when the right girl finds you, it may also be messy sometimes. Relationships have their ups and downs, but eventually sort themselves out in the end.
I'm pretty sure that you can remain her friend, although it may have to be strictly platonic if she has lost interest in you. But then again, you never know. From me to you, girls are complicated creatures. (Obviously I'd know since I am one). We are fickle creatures and change our minds easily. If she is only unsure of how she feels about you, do something really nice and romantic for her to show her you care. If she is sure and really has lost interest in you, then I'm really sorry, but that doesnt mean you two cant be friends.

I wish you the best of luck!

-Lady Bane

Kil'jaeden · 07-13-2007, 04:25 PM

This being back in April, last I talked to her (early in June) she said she didn't want to be my friend. But she was mad and so was I. I did see her afterward, but she basically ignored me.

Joker · 07-13-2007, 04:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kil'jaeden

Well, it all started with me rejoining the band, mostly because I missed my friends there. I met a girl, and for a while I kind of had a crush on her. My friend also had a crush on her, and he's not introverted like I am so he talked to her more. She got to know me because of him, and then she hung around me at band and other functions for a bit. I resented my best friend very much for a while, and basically cut myself off from him. He didn't talk to me much either. I and this girl became casual friends, and I came to her birthday party when my friend didn't. I knew my friend liked her, but I wasn't sure if she felt the same about him. So, even though I liked her, I wouldn't say because of my friend and my shyness in these matters. We became good friends, and one day she tells me that she likes me, and has finally gotten the courage to say it. I nearly fainted, and then had a sort of high that I don't think any drug could match. I tell her basically the same thing. We went out for a while, and I could talk to her about things that I couldn't even mention to my family. I learned quite a bit about her, too. I was skeptical at first that she liked me, and I looked into it and found that she had asked others for advice on how to approach me. She said that I am so aloof that I don't seem to notice people blatantly hitting on me. Well, we go out for a while, and I come to like her much more than I did before. I enjoy her presence above everything, and I go out of my way to help her with things, even though she never asked me to. Eventually, I try to tell her how I feel about her, and she comforts me but also stays away from the subject of feelings. I feel that I screwed up what I was going to say, and I go to her concert the next day. On Sunday we talk about prom, and I see her dress and mask, and she tells me I am to wear a black tuxedo. The day after this, she calls and says that she wants to break up. She won't give an explanation until the next day after I bug her about it. I asked her if she had just lost interest, and she said yes. Now I find she is going to the prom with a friend of hers, who is gay. Now I have sort of a love-hate feeling toward her, and she seems to be avoiding me. Are relationships always messy like this? I really don't know why any of this happened. Now I don't even know if I can remain her friend or not.

You my friend have experienced what we old people like to call "life".

Although this one experience is not indicative of every relationship you will have, it should harden you against some of the more horrible breakups. What happened here happens often to both guys and girls. The best thing to do is to remember the good times and use this experience for the next relationship that comes along.

There will be times where a relationship ends up messy and other times when it just literally blows up in your face taking with you any near by friends who are in the vicinity of the blast. And then there are times that the relationships will be called of by both of you because you grow apart. For the most part love or relationships are a tricky thing and constantly need working on. The one thing I would recommend is not to sweat this one.....from your story I gather that you weren't really looking for a relationship at the time that this happened, and that will be the case next time as well. If she feels that she no longer wants to be your friend just let her know that your door is still open and leave it at that. Cut your loses and what ever may happen DO NOT BE THE MOPEY KID WHO HAUNTS HIS EX GIRLFRIEND BEGGING HER TO GET BACK WITH HIM.

That will only make it worse.......

Kil'jaeden · 07-13-2007, 07:45 PM

Well, she'll be off to college anyway, so that saves me from having to see her. And why would anyone LOOK for a relationship? That would be as sensible as looking for a time bomb to hold. I may have actually learned some lessons here: 1. This is a waste of time. 2. I should save my love for myself. 3. My friends are more valuable than any doxy I may have. 4. I am still pretty stupid. 5. Do I joke or not?.

CuccoLady · 07-13-2007, 08:01 PM

Well, I'll put it this way:

you've had more luck with relationships than me.

Don't worry, the right girl will come soon enough. Hopefully you can still be friends, but that's alright if not.

Swordmaster Link · 07-13-2007, 11:41 PM

Keep your head up.

Eagle Eye · 07-14-2007, 10:19 AM

You'll have breakups, but don't get discouraged, that means you lose. At this level, these merely prepare you for what's next in life, you'll go through relationships like old coats in a closet, but it's how you apply those lessons to life man. In every relationship I grow more and more because every woman is different with different needs, and has different levels of maturity, you live, you learn.

Kil'jaeden · 07-17-2007, 12:49 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Joker

You my friend have experienced what we old people like to call "life".

Although this one experience is not indicative of every relationship you will have, it should harden you against some of the more horrible breakups. What happened here happens often to both guys and girls. The best thing to do is to remember the good times and use this experience for the next relationship that comes along.

There will be times where a relationship ends up messy and other times when it just literally blows up in your face taking with you any near by friends who are in the vicinity of the blast. And then there are times that the relationships will be called of by both of you because you grow apart. For the most part love or relationships are a tricky thing and constantly need working on. The one thing I would recommend is not to sweat this one.....from your story I gather that you weren't really looking for a relationship at the time that this happened, and that will be the case next time as well. If she feels that she no longer wants to be your friend just let her know that your door is still open and leave it at that. Cut your loses and what ever may happen DO NOT BE THE MOPEY KID WHO HAUNTS HIS EX GIRLFRIEND BEGGING HER TO GET BACK WITH HIM.

That will only make it worse.......

Here's what I've learned, presented in a scattered unorderly fashion.. I will aim for orphans from now on, because parents may be alcoholics and/or complete bastards. The higher regard you are held in, the more contempt for you they will end up having for you. Do not trust someone who wants to go into politics. If they are busy, they really just don't want to talk to you. If there's another guy they constantly mention, even if he is gay, then the whole thing is screwed. Do not do their work, without them asking you to, so they can work on scholarship forms, because the gesture will not be appreciated. Do not get involved with conflict between them and parents. If your parents have a religious objection to this person's beliefs, then keep your mouth shut and more importantly keep your damn nosey sister's mouth shut. Do not expect to end up any better than others this person has dumped, and/or stopped talking to. If a person shifts from your friend to you, get your friend's side of the story too, and not later. Do not ask why you were dumped, because they will either be too chicken**** to answer or will have little reason. Do not bother with a person who claims not to believe in love or whatnot unless you want to be ****ed over. Keep in mind that there is one person who cares about you: you. Girls that have good sense are nice, but good sense has thorns.
If it gets to the point where you do all the "work" and initiate most of the communication in a relationship, then they just don't care about you. If they are gushing over some other guy, days after they dumped you like trash, then you know what sort of person they are. If they gush over another guy besides that one right in front of you, don't hate him, because you might like him otherwise, and it's really not his fault. The person's friends do not like you, and probably have their own ideas about who is better, so keep this in mind: her friends are not your friends. If they say they want to be your friend, then it means they are going to dump you, and they don't particularly want to be around you either. After they do dump you, don't try to talk to them because they will get mad at you and then act like you are the most annoying scum ever to walk. Do not get too angry because it just causes conflict. If your friends think their relationships are greater than all others, well, they suffer the same delusion you did so don't warn them because it will make them mad at you and they won't listen. If you know a guy who tries to start crap with you over the girl, don't think too harshly of him, because you will find out how he feels, but hopefully handle it in a better way. If the girl starts getting all high principled (as in "this is how humanity works so be more mature about it") after dumping you, keep in mind if she were on your end she would feel the same. Do not feel too bad about the girl's past, because it isn't your fault, she probably doesn't want you to feel that way, and pity kinda ruins the atmosphere. If a girl is a bit more experienced than you, then try not to make an ass of yourself. And definitely keep in mind that you are nothing to this girl, nothing at all, and if you do matter something to her, she will get bored of you and get a new amusement. And lastly, do not judge the girl too harshly, or make her out to be too much of a succubus, unless it calls for it.

04-23-2007, 01:51 PM	#1
Kil'jaeden Member Join Date: May 2003 Location: in your mind Gender: Posts: 2,132 Thanks: 21 Thanked 146 Times in 99 Posts	I might as well say it. Well, it all started with me rejoining the band, mostly because I missed my friends there. I met a girl, and for a while I kind of had a crush on her. My friend also had a crush on her, and he's not introverted like I am so he talked to her more. She got to know me because of him, and then she hung around me at band and other functions for a bit. I resented my best friend very much for a while, and basically cut myself off from him. He didn't talk to me much either. I and this girl became casual friends, and I came to her birthday party when my friend didn't. I knew my friend liked her, but I wasn't sure if she felt the same about him. So, even though I liked her, I wouldn't say because of my friend and my shyness in these matters. We became good friends, and one day she tells me that she likes me, and has finally gotten the courage to say it. I nearly fainted, and then had a sort of high that I don't think any drug could match. I tell her basically the same thing. We went out for a while, and I could talk to her about things that I couldn't even mention to my family. I learned quite a bit about her, too. I was skeptical at first that she liked me, and I looked into it and found that she had asked others for advice on how to approach me. She said that I am so aloof that I don't seem to notice people blatantly hitting on me. Well, we go out for a while, and I come to like her much more than I did before. I enjoy her presence above everything, and I go out of my way to help her with things, even though she never asked me to. Eventually, I try to tell her how I feel about her, and she comforts me but also stays away from the subject of feelings. I feel that I screwed up what I was going to say, and I go to her concert the next day. On Sunday we talk about prom, and I see her dress and mask, and she tells me I am to wear a black tuxedo. The day after this, she calls and says that she wants to break up. She won't give an explanation until the next day after I bug her about it. I asked her if she had just lost interest, and she said yes. Now I find she is going to the prom with a friend of hers, who is gay. Now I have sort of a love-hate feeling toward her, and she seems to be avoiding me. Are relationships always messy like this? I really don't know why any of this happened. Now I don't even know if I can remain her friend or not.

07-13-2007, 11:59 AM	#2
Lady Bane Junior Member Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: Hell. Gender: Posts: 301 Thanks: 8 Thanked 6 Times in 6 Posts	Awww.... I do have to say, I cant answer your question, kil'jaeden, because my answer would be biased. I've had my share of 'messy' relationships, but remember, when the right girl finds you, it may also be messy sometimes. Relationships have their ups and downs, but eventually sort themselves out in the end. I'm pretty sure that you can remain her friend, although it may have to be strictly platonic if she has lost interest in you. But then again, you never know. From me to you, girls are complicated creatures. (Obviously I'd know since I am one). We are fickle creatures and change our minds easily. If she is only unsure of how she feels about you, do something really nice and romantic for her to show her you care. If she is sure and really has lost interest in you, then I'm really sorry, but that doesnt mean you two cant be friends. I wish you the best of luck! -Lady Bane

07-13-2007, 04:25 PM	#3
Kil'jaeden Member Join Date: May 2003 Location: in your mind Gender: Posts: 2,132 Thanks: 21 Thanked 146 Times in 99 Posts	This being back in April, last I talked to her (early in June) she said she didn't want to be my friend. But she was mad and so was I. I did see her afterward, but she basically ignored me.

07-13-2007, 07:45 PM	#5
Kil'jaeden Member Join Date: May 2003 Location: in your mind Gender: Posts: 2,132 Thanks: 21 Thanked 146 Times in 99 Posts	Well, she'll be off to college anyway, so that saves me from having to see her. And why would anyone LOOK for a relationship? That would be as sensible as looking for a time bomb to hold. I may have actually learned some lessons here: 1. This is a waste of time. 2. I should save my love for myself. 3. My friends are more valuable than any doxy I may have. 4. I am still pretty stupid. 5. Do I joke or not?.

07-13-2007, 08:01 PM	#6
CuccoLady Anime and Cartoons Mod Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: THIS LOCATION REMINDS ME OF A PUZZLE, LUKE Gender: Posts: 9,077 Thanks: 2,825 Thanked 1,222 Times in 822 Posts	Well, I'll put it this way: you've had more luck with relationships than me. Don't worry, the right girl will come soon enough. Hopefully you can still be friends, but that's alright if not.

07-13-2007, 11:41 PM	#7
Swordmaster Link Super Bodyguard & King of the Arcade Join Date: Apr 2000 Location: Wherever you want me to be Gender: Posts: 32,132 Thanks: 253 Thanked 951 Times in 640 Posts Blog Entries: 2	Keep your head up.

07-14-2007, 10:19 AM	#8
Eagle Eye Diddy bops Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: Birmingham, AL Gender: Posts: 15,014 Thanks: 1,616 Thanked 1,084 Times in 597 Posts	You'll have breakups, but don't get discouraged, that means you lose. At this level, these merely prepare you for what's next in life, you'll go through relationships like old coats in a closet, but it's how you apply those lessons to life man. In every relationship I grow more and more because every woman is different with different needs, and has different levels of maturity, you live, you learn.