A Little Bit of Thinking

Katyrna · 06-01-2007, 05:04 PM

~Skip to the bottom if you want the real question of this whole thing-- Sorry! I just figured out what I truly wanted to ask myself. @_@ Guess I just needed to get all my thoughts out first...

My first return to VGF in months, and I post in the Relationship Forum. XP Forgive me?

Maybe I was spared some pain by never having a high school relationship. But it’s still a little sad. Anyway, now the good stuff.

I met “Jake” about a year and a half ago. At the time, I liked this other guy and had for quite a while. Jake and I got to be friends, and now we hang out along with my other friends quite a bit. Earlier this year, we got to talking and I found out that he was going to major in the same thing I was—at the same university! To make it even better, we both want to minor in Japanese. Strange luck, right?

Recently, I started doing some thinking. In a very surprising way, a lot of things started coming together for me, but I’m not entirely sure it’s a good thing. There were times when I’d suddenly looked at Jake in a different light for a few moments, only to think, “Psh, it’s Jake,” and immediately forget about it. But now I remember, back around Prom time, I had secretly been hoping that if neither of us had dates, we’d go together—which was scrapped when some of his other friends wanted him to go with another girl. He didn’t want to, didn’t end up going at all. I got to thinking, why did it bother me? Then I found out about two friends of mine, one who used to like him, and one who currently does very much (who he might be interested in, honestly), and thought, huh? Jake? And it hit me—Jake was a guy. You could like him like that. But I’d always just thought “friend” and nothing else.

Then I remember, my best guy friend once said early this year when I was interested in somebody else, “I was thinking…” “What…?” “You know, you and Jake would make a cute couple.” –To which at the time I flipped out and said, “No way!” Then I remember my friend Mia saying the best kind of boyfriend is one that’s like your best friend…with benefits. And I thought—we’re majoring in the same thing, we both want to study Japanese, we’re going to the same school, we both like anime, we both like video games, we both like the same kind of music and bands, and we both can talk and get along really well.

But maybe, we just met a little too early. If I met a guy at university like this, I wonder if we would have just been friends? So to end this crazy thing, I don’t like Jake like I’ve liked anyone before. But I feel comfortable with him—I never was nervous about being myself in front of him, and we both have a lot of things in common, without trying to force it that way.

Did that make sense? And is this kind of thinking okay, good? I’m not going to try to do anything beyond being friends—he doesn’t think of me like that, and I don’t want to lose our friendship. I’m not madly in love with him or anything like that. All I know is that I think it could really work. I guess I’d just like some third-party perspective. =) Thanks for enduring this crazy long post!

P.S. Off to get ready for graduation! See you all soon!

EDIT: Hehe, maybe to shorten things up for you all, I guess what I want to ask is:
Can a relationship work when it didn't start from the normal "I'm attracted to you right away", but instead from an "I'm comfortable with you and I like you" sort of way?

***Heroine of the Dragon*** · 06-03-2007, 12:26 AM

Welcome back, Katyrna!!! *gives you marshmallows* It's great to see you again!!

Personally, your "kind of thinking" is fine to me!! Cool, in fact!!

It seems you're interested in "Jake" but I get the impression you're happy for things to remain as they are?

Strengthening your friendship bond would be wonderful... so do what friends do and spend time with each other, getting to know each other.

You know, has Jake specifically said he only likes you "as a friend"? If he said otherwise, how would you feel, then?

Regardless, just see how things go... find out more about Jake and his likes, dislikes, goals, dreams and what he wants in the future. Share with him your stuff, as well.

Good luck with it all!!!

And, congratulations on your graduation.

Swordmaster Link · 06-03-2007, 12:35 AM

Nice to see you again, Kat.

However...

Quote:

Originally Posted by Katyrna

friend…with benefits.

No. This never works out the way you want it to. Sorry to be a pessimist.

Katyrna · 06-03-2007, 12:43 AM

Thanks HotD!!! It feels great to be back!! I hope to be hanging around a bit more now that summer's back in action!

The marshmallows were great, by the way. ~_^

It is SUCH a relief to hear someone say that my kind of thinking is "cool"!!! It really is!! I feel like a bit of a dolt to start to see things like this within the last few weeks, but there is that saying that sometimes things are right in front of your face! Perhaps, this will fade, but I can't help but think that we'll continue to be friends, and if things changed...? Well, we certainly have a lot in common! Maybe, after all my bad luck with guys, a different approach is best...

Thanks for the warm welcome back and the encouragement, HotD! I really appreciate it!!! =D

Quote:

Originally Posted by Swordmaster Link

Nice to see you again, Kat.

However...

No. This never works out the way you want it to. Sorry to be a pessimist.

Heheh, that is probably true... But perhaps, more of what she meant was, you feel comfortable with that person, you can talk to them about anything, your hopes, your dreams, and not be embarrassed, while also being attracted to them? That's my take on it. Bottom line: You're comfortable.

Nice to see you again too, SML. =]

***Heroine of the Dragon*** · 06-03-2007, 01:34 AM

You're welcome, Katyrna!!!

I want to reassure you that real love can develop from a nice, steady friendship!! Truly!!! And, if this is what you desire, I wish you all the very best...

Having your best friend as also the love of your life is a wondrous thing!!!

Swordmaster Link · 06-03-2007, 01:51 AM

Ok so I seem to be jaded, that's cool.

Edit: Oh, and don't misinterpret my reply as not giving you a warm welcome, because I am.

***CaptHayfever*** · 06-03-2007, 02:16 AM

Cool to see you again, Kat.

Unfortunately, I'm in no shape to be giving anyone romantic advice.

And remember, "I'm-a Luigi, number one!"

Katyrna · 06-04-2007, 01:29 AM

I love all you guys. It feels all the more great to be back! *Mega Hug* ^_^

06-01-2007, 05:04 PM	#1
Katyrna Junior Member Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: Hiding in the band locker from the man with an air bazooka... Gender: Posts: 243 Thanks: 6 Thanked 4 Times in 4 Posts	A Little Bit of Thinking ~Skip to the bottom if you want the real question of this whole thing-- Sorry! I just figured out what I truly wanted to ask myself. @_@ Guess I just needed to get all my thoughts out first... My first return to VGF in months, and I post in the Relationship Forum. XP Forgive me? Maybe I was spared some pain by never having a high school relationship. But it’s still a little sad. Anyway, now the good stuff. I met “Jake” about a year and a half ago. At the time, I liked this other guy and had for quite a while. Jake and I got to be friends, and now we hang out along with my other friends quite a bit. Earlier this year, we got to talking and I found out that he was going to major in the same thing I was—at the same university! To make it even better, we both want to minor in Japanese. Strange luck, right? Recently, I started doing some thinking. In a very surprising way, a lot of things started coming together for me, but I’m not entirely sure it’s a good thing. There were times when I’d suddenly looked at Jake in a different light for a few moments, only to think, “Psh, it’s Jake,” and immediately forget about it. But now I remember, back around Prom time, I had secretly been hoping that if neither of us had dates, we’d go together—which was scrapped when some of his other friends wanted him to go with another girl. He didn’t want to, didn’t end up going at all. I got to thinking, why did it bother me? Then I found out about two friends of mine, one who used to like him, and one who currently does very much (who he might be interested in, honestly), and thought, huh? Jake? And it hit me—Jake was a guy. You could like him like that. But I’d always just thought “friend” and nothing else. Then I remember, my best guy friend once said early this year when I was interested in somebody else, “I was thinking…” “What…?” “You know, you and Jake would make a cute couple.” –To which at the time I flipped out and said, “No way!” Then I remember my friend Mia saying the best kind of boyfriend is one that’s like your best friend…with benefits. And I thought—we’re majoring in the same thing, we both want to study Japanese, we’re going to the same school, we both like anime, we both like video games, we both like the same kind of music and bands, and we both can talk and get along really well. But maybe, we just met a little too early. If I met a guy at university like this, I wonder if we would have just been friends? So to end this crazy thing, I don’t like Jake like I’ve liked anyone before. But I feel comfortable with him—I never was nervous about being myself in front of him, and we both have a lot of things in common, without trying to force it that way. Did that make sense? And is this kind of thinking okay, good? I’m not going to try to do anything beyond being friends—he doesn’t think of me like that, and I don’t want to lose our friendship. I’m not madly in love with him or anything like that. All I know is that I think it could really work. I guess I’d just like some third-party perspective. =) Thanks for enduring this crazy long post! P.S. Off to get ready for graduation! See you all soon! EDIT: Hehe, maybe to shorten things up for you all, I guess what I want to ask is: Can a relationship work when it didn't start from the normal "I'm attracted to you right away", but instead from an "I'm comfortable with you and I like you" sort of way? Last edited by Katyrna; 06-03-2007 at 12:22 AM.

06-03-2007, 01:51 AM	#6
Swordmaster Link Super Bodyguard & King of the Arcade Join Date: Apr 2000 Location: Wherever you want me to be Gender: Posts: 32,132 Thanks: 253 Thanked 951 Times in 640 Posts Blog Entries: 2	Ok so I seem to be jaded, that's cool. Edit: Oh, and don't misinterpret my reply as not giving you a warm welcome, because I am. Last edited by Swordmaster Link; 06-03-2007 at 01:51 AM. Reason: Automerged Doublepost

06-03-2007, 12:26 AM	#2
*Heroine of the Dragon* The Grinnie Fool! ♥♥♥ VGFCodes Staff Join Date: Jul 2000 Location: Twinklebutton Wintersprout Gender: Posts: 31,454 Thanks: 864 Thanked 851 Times in 632 Posts Blog Entries: 1	Welcome back, Katyrna!!! gives you marshmallows It's great to see you again!! Personally, your "kind of thinking" is fine to me!! Cool, in fact!! It seems you're interested in "Jake" but I get the impression you're happy for things to remain as they are? Strengthening your friendship bond would be wonderful... so do what friends do and spend time with each other, getting to know each other. You know, has Jake specifically said he only likes you "as a friend"? If he said otherwise, how would you feel, then? Regardless, just see how things go... find out more about Jake and his likes, dislikes, goals, dreams and what he wants in the future. Share with him your stuff, as well. Good luck with it all!!! And, congratulations on your graduation.

06-03-2007, 01:34 AM	#5
*Heroine of the Dragon* The Grinnie Fool! ♥♥♥ VGFCodes Staff Join Date: Jul 2000 Location: Twinklebutton Wintersprout Gender: Posts: 31,454 Thanks: 864 Thanked 851 Times in 632 Posts Blog Entries: 1	You're welcome, Katyrna!!! I want to reassure you that real love can develop from a nice, steady friendship!! Truly!!! And, if this is what you desire, I wish you all the very best... Having your best friend as also the love of your life is a wondrous thing!!!

06-03-2007, 02:16 AM	#7
*CaptHayfever* Smash SuperMod Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: (n) - the place where I am Gender: Posts: 27,659 Thanks: 1,991 Thanked 2,486 Times in 1,513 Posts	Cool to see you again, Kat. Unfortunately, I'm in no shape to be giving anyone romantic advice. And remember, "I'm-a Luigi, number one!"

06-04-2007, 01:29 AM	#8
Katyrna Junior Member Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: Hiding in the band locker from the man with an air bazooka... Gender: Posts: 243 Thanks: 6 Thanked 4 Times in 4 Posts	I love all you guys. It feels all the more great to be back! Mega Hug ^_^