I doubt anyone will pay attention to this, but...

Prince Phaeral · 07-17-2007, 04:19 PM

Okay, well. I'm technically a newb. I don't expect many people to reply to this, and I'm not sure if I'm seeking help or if I just need to get it off my chest. Anyone who can help me or that knows this girl is welcome to reply...if you have negative comments, I'd prefer you kept to yourself.

There's this girl. In my eyes, she is the most beautiful, sweet, generous, loving woman in the whole world. If I were straight and didn't have any blood relations to her, I would have jumped at the chance of dating her. I remember first meeting her, first singing with her...possibly the most wonderful and cherished memory I have. I remember holding her through the painful, tear-filled nights during the hardest times of her life. Just to briefly sum it up, I love her. More than anything in the world. I'd die for this woman.

She recently fell in love with this boy at her school. I was happy for her, though I had never met the guy. Just seeing her smile had me approve. They ended up together, and I inevitably ended up meeting him. It didn't take me long to change my mind.

That boy doesn't love her one bit. He never contacts her, he never says he loves her, and the only time he ever shows affection towards her is when his friends are around. My first impression when I saw this behavior was that she was a trophy girlfriend to him. He never wants to see her, to the point where when she asks if they can hang out he gets defensive. Now I'm thinking that he's seeing someone behind her back.

He's left her twice. Each time he came back, but not before I saw him flirting with other women. When she isn't around, he's disgustingly friendly/touchy-feely with other females. I am so bloody tired of seeing him treat her this way. I've tried to tell her, but she truly believes she loves him, and so she stays. I hate that boy. I hate him almost as much as I love her.

I just don't know what I can possibly say to her. Meh, if this topic proves worthless, have the mod feel free to delete it. But I had to say it.

***The Doctor*** · 07-17-2007, 04:40 PM

These situations are never good. You've told her your opinion on the matter, that's all you should do.

When/If they break up again, then try to tell her what you've seen him done in the past.

Kil'jaeden · 07-17-2007, 11:14 PM

The whole thing will collapse eventually, when she realizes what his actions mean. I doubt anything you say will do much good unless you can show her what you're talking about.

Prince Phaeral · 07-17-2007, 11:22 PM

It's going to crush her. I can't tell if she's under a love-struck delusion or if she's just taking this crap from him, just because she's submissive to the point where I seriously worry. It would be painfully easy of him to take advantage of her, and I'd never put it past him. I want to confront her about this, but I don't know what I can say. I am dying just seeing this happen to her.

Thank you for the replies. This whole situation is just driving me crazy.

ZeldaGirl · 07-18-2007, 01:04 AM

^Don't be afraid to talk to her - sometimes, a fresh perspective helps people realized just how much trouble they are in. Let her know how much you obviously care for her, and don't be afraid to confront her... she'll thank you for it later.

User Name · 07-18-2007, 10:40 AM

I agree with ZG, but don't be pushy. It's still not your place to tell her who to date, but she's in trouble. Let her know you care about her and you're worried about the situation. At the very least, she'll hear what you have to say.

Prince Phaeral · 07-18-2007, 07:36 PM

Thanks guys. I think this topic should fall into PM and/or IM, because I'm not sure about dwelving into this on a public board...

So, it can be locked if the mod chooses.

ChuckleHuck · 07-18-2007, 07:58 PM

It's a Dead-End relationship, for sure.

All has pre-T much been said as needs to be.

Lockhammer, please.

Platinum · 07-18-2007, 08:01 PM

everyone is right.

ChuckleHuck · 07-20-2007, 12:35 PM

LOCK HAMMER!

***The Doctor*** · 07-20-2007, 12:52 PM

No. Leaving open just to annoy everyone.

ChuckleHuck · 07-21-2007, 01:20 PM

But then there will be no rain of fire when the hammer hits the forrum.

**Loot** · 07-21-2007, 01:33 PM

You don't waste no time at all.
Don't hear the bell but you answer the call.
It comes to you as to us all.
We're just waiting for the hammer to fall!

***The Doctor*** · 07-22-2007, 04:35 AM

Hey! The hammer to fall

Godot · 07-22-2007, 10:20 AM

Well, you just have to let her make the decision. I know it's a sucky thing to watch...

...but for her to be the stronger one and go away, that's what she needs to learn how to do.

Prince Phaeral · 07-22-2007, 12:28 PM

She's left him. I'm never forgiving what pressed her to do this, but...

There's still drama in the air, but I don't think it'd be too good to write it up on a public board. Thanks, guys.

***The Doctor*** · 07-22-2007, 02:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Prince Phaeral

I'm never forgiving what pressed her to do this, but...

I hope you don't mind me asking but are you not forgiving him or her?

Prince Phaeral · 07-22-2007, 04:06 PM

Him. It's a long, painful story.

***The Doctor*** · 07-22-2007, 04:11 PM

Ain't they all?

Princess Zelda of Hyrule · 08-20-2007, 09:28 PM

It's better to tell her now than down the road when it would destroy an even bigger, more elaborate fantasy world than what she already lives in.

And once you've told her, keep telling her. Because she is bound to deny it. I spent three and a half years in one exhausting love. I knew from the beginning it was doomed, but I denied it. It was the voice that never stopped telling me to get away from this man that finally convinced me to put my energy elsewhere.

And always, always be gentle. Honest but gentle.

07-17-2007, 04:19 PM	#1
Prince Phaeral Junior Member Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: Sephiroth's arms. Gender: Posts: 278 Thanks: 19 Thanked 14 Times in 10 Posts	I doubt anyone will pay attention to this, but... Okay, well. I'm technically a newb. I don't expect many people to reply to this, and I'm not sure if I'm seeking help or if I just need to get it off my chest. Anyone who can help me or that knows this girl is welcome to reply...if you have negative comments, I'd prefer you kept to yourself. There's this girl. In my eyes, she is the most beautiful, sweet, generous, loving woman in the whole world. If I were straight and didn't have any blood relations to her, I would have jumped at the chance of dating her. I remember first meeting her, first singing with her...possibly the most wonderful and cherished memory I have. I remember holding her through the painful, tear-filled nights during the hardest times of her life. Just to briefly sum it up, I love her. More than anything in the world. I'd die for this woman. She recently fell in love with this boy at her school. I was happy for her, though I had never met the guy. Just seeing her smile had me approve. They ended up together, and I inevitably ended up meeting him. It didn't take me long to change my mind. That boy doesn't love her one bit. He never contacts her, he never says he loves her, and the only time he ever shows affection towards her is when his friends are around. My first impression when I saw this behavior was that she was a trophy girlfriend to him. He never wants to see her, to the point where when she asks if they can hang out he gets defensive. Now I'm thinking that he's seeing someone behind her back. He's left her twice. Each time he came back, but not before I saw him flirting with other women. When she isn't around, he's disgustingly friendly/touchy-feely with other females. I am so bloody tired of seeing him treat her this way. I've tried to tell her, but she truly believes she loves him, and so she stays. I hate that boy. I hate him almost as much as I love her. I just don't know what I can possibly say to her. Meh, if this topic proves worthless, have the mod feel free to delete it. But I had to say it.

07-17-2007, 04:40 PM	#2
*The Doctor* The Last Timelord. Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: In the TARDIS Gender: Posts: 13,880 Thanks: 915 Thanked 656 Times in 426 Posts Blog Entries: 1	These situations are never good. You've told her your opinion on the matter, that's all you should do. When/If they break up again, then try to tell her what you've seen him done in the past.

07-17-2007, 11:14 PM	#3
Kil'jaeden Member Join Date: May 2003 Location: in your mind Gender: Posts: 2,132 Thanks: 21 Thanked 146 Times in 99 Posts	The whole thing will collapse eventually, when she realizes what his actions mean. I doubt anything you say will do much good unless you can show her what you're talking about.

07-17-2007, 11:22 PM	#4
Prince Phaeral Junior Member Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: Sephiroth's arms. Gender: Posts: 278 Thanks: 19 Thanked 14 Times in 10 Posts	It's going to crush her. I can't tell if she's under a love-struck delusion or if she's just taking this crap from him, just because she's submissive to the point where I seriously worry. It would be painfully easy of him to take advantage of her, and I'd never put it past him. I want to confront her about this, but I don't know what I can say. I am dying just seeing this happen to her. Thank you for the replies. This whole situation is just driving me crazy.

07-18-2007, 01:04 AM	#5
ZeldaGirl Awesome member Join Date: Jun 2001 Location: Why do YOU want to know...? Gender: Posts: 15,896 Thanks: 1,130 Thanked 1,919 Times in 1,046 Posts	^Don't be afraid to talk to her - sometimes, a fresh perspective helps people realized just how much trouble they are in. Let her know how much you obviously care for her, and don't be afraid to confront her... she'll thank you for it later.

07-18-2007, 10:40 AM	#6
User Name Senior Member Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: Gotham City Gender: Posts: 7,209 Thanks: 701 Thanked 536 Times in 367 Posts	I agree with ZG, but don't be pushy. It's still not your place to tell her who to date, but she's in trouble. Let her know you care about her and you're worried about the situation. At the very least, she'll hear what you have to say.

07-18-2007, 07:36 PM	#7
Prince Phaeral Junior Member Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: Sephiroth's arms. Gender: Posts: 278 Thanks: 19 Thanked 14 Times in 10 Posts	Thanks guys. I think this topic should fall into PM and/or IM, because I'm not sure about dwelving into this on a public board... So, it can be locked if the mod chooses.

07-18-2007, 07:58 PM	#8
ChuckleHuck Member Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: In the walls. Gender: Posts: 1,983 Thanks: 117 Thanked 64 Times in 46 Posts	It's a Dead-End relationship, for sure. All has pre-T much been said as needs to be. Lockhammer, please.

07-18-2007, 08:01 PM	#9
Platinum Member Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Wv Gender: Posts: 1,369 Thanks: 48 Thanked 21 Times in 21 Posts	everyone is right.

07-20-2007, 12:35 PM	#10
ChuckleHuck Member Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: In the walls. Gender: Posts: 1,983 Thanks: 117 Thanked 64 Times in 46 Posts	LOCK HAMMER!

07-20-2007, 12:52 PM	#11
*The Doctor* The Last Timelord. Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: In the TARDIS Gender: Posts: 13,880 Thanks: 915 Thanked 656 Times in 426 Posts Blog Entries: 1	No. Leaving open just to annoy everyone.

07-21-2007, 01:20 PM	#12
ChuckleHuck Member Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: In the walls. Gender: Posts: 1,983 Thanks: 117 Thanked 64 Times in 46 Posts	But then there will be no rain of fire when the hammer hits the forrum.

07-21-2007, 01:33 PM	#13
Loot Apparently I'm a mod? Join Date: May 2001 Location: LEGITIMATE BUSINESS Gender: Posts: 13,208 Thanks: 236 Thanked 1,237 Times in 659 Posts	You don't waste no time at all. Don't hear the bell but you answer the call. It comes to you as to us all. We're just waiting for the hammer to fall!

07-22-2007, 04:35 AM	#14
*The Doctor* The Last Timelord. Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: In the TARDIS Gender: Posts: 13,880 Thanks: 915 Thanked 656 Times in 426 Posts Blog Entries: 1	Hey! The hammer to fall

07-22-2007, 10:20 AM	#15
Godot Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: Coffee. Gender: Posts: 6,054 Thanks: 169 Thanked 161 Times in 102 Posts	Well, you just have to let her make the decision. I know it's a sucky thing to watch... ...but for her to be the stronger one and go away, that's what she needs to learn how to do.

07-22-2007, 12:28 PM	#16
Prince Phaeral Junior Member Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: Sephiroth's arms. Gender: Posts: 278 Thanks: 19 Thanked 14 Times in 10 Posts	She's left him. I'm never forgiving what pressed her to do this, but... There's still drama in the air, but I don't think it'd be too good to write it up on a public board. Thanks, guys.

07-22-2007, 04:06 PM	#18
Prince Phaeral Junior Member Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: Sephiroth's arms. Gender: Posts: 278 Thanks: 19 Thanked 14 Times in 10 Posts	Him. It's a long, painful story.

07-22-2007, 04:11 PM	#19
*The Doctor* The Last Timelord. Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: In the TARDIS Gender: Posts: 13,880 Thanks: 915 Thanked 656 Times in 426 Posts Blog Entries: 1	Ain't they all?

08-20-2007, 09:28 PM	#20
Princess Zelda of Hyrule Senior Member Join Date: Jun 2000 Location: Hyrule Castle Gender: Posts: 6,128 Thanks: 35 Thanked 14 Times in 10 Posts	It's better to tell her now than down the road when it would destroy an even bigger, more elaborate fantasy world than what she already lives in. And once you've told her, keep telling her. Because she is bound to deny it. I spent three and a half years in one exhausting love. I knew from the beginning it was doomed, but I denied it. It was the voice that never stopped telling me to get away from this man that finally convinced me to put my energy elsewhere. And always, always be gentle. Honest but gentle.