Should dating be monogamous?

Princess Zelda of Hyrule · 09-10-2007, 09:21 PM

Should it be socially acceptable for people to date many partners at the same time? Or should it be like marriage: one partner at a time, solid commitment?

In my not-so-humble opinion, this dating commitment thing is rubbish and out of hand. I've seen too much drama. Why can't people save commitment for marriage and maturity? People should use their youth to experiment, to find out what they want in a partner, without commitment breathing down their necks. I'd hate to get stuck in a relationship that keeps me from opportunities to learn about myself and others who might interest me.

What about you?

**Valigarmander** · 09-10-2007, 09:41 PM

I'd prefer one partner to many.

But if other people like to swing, hey, whatever rocks your boat.

Kil'jaeden · 09-10-2007, 09:44 PM

I'm too jealous for that sort of thing. As far as I'm concerned anyone who wants to do that can stay far away from me.

Koga · 09-11-2007, 12:58 AM

That totally depends on the person. I'm monogamous, but there are many couples who don't mind seeing other people on the side.

***CaptHayfever*** · 09-11-2007, 01:07 AM

When it's not serious with anyone, it's fine to be testing the waters elsewhere, but as a relationship becomes more mature & intricate, it should also eventually become monogamous.
How can you be able to commit to marriage if you can't stand an exclusive relationship beforehand? Heck, how can you know someone well enough to want to marry them if you haven't spent enough time together to effectively preclude any other romantic interests?

And remember, "I'm-a Luigi, number one!"

***Cosmonautical*** · 09-11-2007, 03:01 AM

It depends on your relationship. In the dating world, I probably wouldn't be particularily monogamous. Back in reality where I'm trying to find a dependable partner and friend, there just aren't that many people who're suitable for a monogamous relationship with me that I could even be bothered having a polygamous relationship while simultaneously making it incredibly meaningful.

Kil'jaeden · 09-11-2007, 06:30 AM

Come to think of it, how could any guy manage more than one girl, or vice versa? One's bad enough.

***Ace Mercury*** · 09-11-2007, 08:11 AM

I'm hardly an authority on dating, but I remember hearing about "dating in parallel" as opposed to "dating in series" as an electrical circuit metaphor (I'm an engineer

). Anyways, the point is that seeing a bunch of guys/girls at once (gender depending on your preference) is better, since seeing them one at a time would take too long (i.e. more resistance).

Irregardless, I believe that once you've agreed to "go steady" and especially when you are engaged, you are committed to one person. I do believe in honesty, openness, and candor in relationships, romantic or otherwise, and would never set up one of those sitcom situations where you have to juggle and lie.

Sean P Kelly · 09-11-2007, 10:10 AM

I think it really depends on what kind of relationship.

If you just mean going out with many people, I think that might be okay for the most part. However, if want to start "going around the bases" with many people, then I'm not okay with that.

Eagle Eye · 09-11-2007, 11:28 AM

Dating yes.

Relationship. No.

That's just my opioin, dating you're testing the waters, seeing what you want. Relationship, you're committed, end of story.

Bomby · 09-11-2007, 12:48 PM

I think I agree with the general consensus here, that it really depends on the seriousness of the relationdateshipthingy.

Princess Zelda of Hyrule · 09-11-2007, 04:52 PM

Quote:

When it's not serious with anyone, it's fine to be testing the waters elsewhere, but as a relationship becomes more mature & intricate, it should also eventually become monogamous.

I guess I agree with this. But I do think exclusivity is a late, mature stage, and definitely not something that should occur in the early teens as it does too often in our culture. Before people get married, they should have dated exclusively for a good long time...but one's fifteenth or sixteenth years of life are hardly the time to be thinking about marriage, let alone acting like a married couple.

Of course, if people are dating polygamously, they should be forthcoming about it to all of their partners...

***CaptHayfever*** · 09-12-2007, 12:03 PM

^Sounds good to me. I think a lot of monogamy in high school dating, though, has to do with certain involved parties having certain psychotic hormone spikes and behaving like certain banshees if they find out somebody's dating someone else.

And remember, "I'm-a Luigi, number one!"

Joker · 09-12-2007, 12:40 PM

Only if sex is involved !! If not than go with the guys secret code of dating !! It aint cheating if you aint sleeping with the chick !!

***Cosmonautical*** · 09-12-2007, 07:56 PM

^ Basically, that's how it works. Since I was 16, I've never not had a girl around me, I just kind of logically moved from one stale relationship to another that worked. I gave the prior a fair run, but in the end I was just feeling guilty for the most insignificant things, and I didn't feel like I was allowed to be an honest person.

09-10-2007, 09:21 PM	#1
Princess Zelda of Hyrule Senior Member Join Date: Jun 2000 Location: Hyrule Castle Gender: Posts: 6,128 Thanks: 35 Thanked 14 Times in 10 Posts	Should dating be monogamous? Should it be socially acceptable for people to date many partners at the same time? Or should it be like marriage: one partner at a time, solid commitment? In my not-so-humble opinion, this dating commitment thing is rubbish and out of hand. I've seen too much drama. Why can't people save commitment for marriage and maturity? People should use their youth to experiment, to find out what they want in a partner, without commitment breathing down their necks. I'd hate to get stuck in a relationship that keeps me from opportunities to learn about myself and others who might interest me. What about you?

09-10-2007, 09:41 PM	#2
Valigarmander The Bee's Knees Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: The land of rain and trees (Oregon) Gender: Posts: 29,755 Thanks: 1,649 Thanked 5,700 Times in 2,580 Posts Blog Entries: 20	I'd prefer one partner to many. But if other people like to swing, hey, whatever rocks your boat.

09-10-2007, 09:44 PM	#3
Kil'jaeden Member Join Date: May 2003 Location: in your mind Gender: Posts: 2,132 Thanks: 21 Thanked 146 Times in 99 Posts	I'm too jealous for that sort of thing. As far as I'm concerned anyone who wants to do that can stay far away from me.

09-11-2007, 12:58 AM	#4
Koga Veteran Member Join Date: Sep 2000 Location: The Netherlands Gender: Posts: 17,098 Thanks: 104 Thanked 188 Times in 118 Posts	That totally depends on the person. I'm monogamous, but there are many couples who don't mind seeing other people on the side.

09-11-2007, 01:07 AM	#5
*CaptHayfever* Smash SuperMod Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: (n) - the place where I am Gender: Posts: 27,659 Thanks: 1,991 Thanked 2,486 Times in 1,513 Posts	When it's not serious with anyone, it's fine to be testing the waters elsewhere, but as a relationship becomes more mature & intricate, it should also eventually become monogamous. How can you be able to commit to marriage if you can't stand an exclusive relationship beforehand? Heck, how can you know someone well enough to want to marry them if you haven't spent enough time together to effectively preclude any other romantic interests? And remember, "I'm-a Luigi, number one!"

09-11-2007, 03:01 AM	#6
*Cosmonautical* Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: I rub my tilde all over your asterisk Gender: Posts: 28,100 Thanks: 2,151 Thanked 5,338 Times in 2,433 Posts	It depends on your relationship. In the dating world, I probably wouldn't be particularily monogamous. Back in reality where I'm trying to find a dependable partner and friend, there just aren't that many people who're suitable for a monogamous relationship with me that I could even be bothered having a polygamous relationship while simultaneously making it incredibly meaningful.

09-11-2007, 06:30 AM	#7
Kil'jaeden Member Join Date: May 2003 Location: in your mind Gender: Posts: 2,132 Thanks: 21 Thanked 146 Times in 99 Posts	Come to think of it, how could any guy manage more than one girl, or vice versa? One's bad enough.

09-11-2007, 08:11 AM	#8
*Ace Mercury* Marshmallow Knight ☆ Supermod Join Date: Jun 2000 Location: Southern Ontario Gender: Posts: 23,274 Thanks: 568 Thanked 3,297 Times in 1,582 Posts Blog Entries: 1	I'm hardly an authority on dating, but I remember hearing about "dating in parallel" as opposed to "dating in series" as an electrical circuit metaphor (I'm an engineer ). Anyways, the point is that seeing a bunch of guys/girls at once (gender depending on your preference) is better, since seeing them one at a time would take too long (i.e. more resistance). Irregardless, I believe that once you've agreed to "go steady" and especially when you are engaged, you are committed to one person. I do believe in honesty, openness, and candor in relationships, romantic or otherwise, and would never set up one of those sitcom situations where you have to juggle and lie.

09-11-2007, 10:10 AM	#9
Sean P Kelly Senior Member Join Date: Nov 2001 Location: Toronto, ON, Canada Gender: Posts: 3,789 Thanks: 19 Thanked 58 Times in 46 Posts	I think it really depends on what kind of relationship. If you just mean going out with many people, I think that might be okay for the most part. However, if want to start "going around the bases" with many people, then I'm not okay with that.

09-11-2007, 11:28 AM	#10
Eagle Eye Diddy bops Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: Birmingham, AL Gender: Posts: 15,014 Thanks: 1,616 Thanked 1,084 Times in 597 Posts	Dating yes. Relationship. No. That's just my opioin, dating you're testing the waters, seeing what you want. Relationship, you're committed, end of story.

09-11-2007, 12:48 PM	#11
Bomby You just freaking blew Joe Biden's mind! Join Date: Jun 2000 Location: WHAT?house Gender: Posts: 19,491 Thanks: 513 Thanked 1,449 Times in 849 Posts Blog Entries: 5	I think I agree with the general consensus here, that it really depends on the seriousness of the relationdateshipthingy.

09-12-2007, 12:03 PM	#13
*CaptHayfever* Smash SuperMod Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: (n) - the place where I am Gender: Posts: 27,659 Thanks: 1,991 Thanked 2,486 Times in 1,513 Posts	^Sounds good to me. I think a lot of monogamy in high school dating, though, has to do with certain involved parties having certain psychotic hormone spikes and behaving like certain banshees if they find out somebody's dating someone else. And remember, "I'm-a Luigi, number one!"

09-12-2007, 12:40 PM	#14
Joker Lord of Vampires / God of Vengeance Join Date: Apr 2000 Location: The Planet of Eternal Darkness Gender: Posts: 11,117 Thanks: 3,273 Thanked 580 Times in 364 Posts Blog Entries: 6	Only if sex is involved !! If not than go with the guys secret code of dating !! It aint cheating if you aint sleeping with the chick !!

09-12-2007, 07:56 PM	#15
*Cosmonautical* Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: I rub my tilde all over your asterisk Gender: Posts: 28,100 Thanks: 2,151 Thanked 5,338 Times in 2,433 Posts	^ Basically, that's how it works. Since I was 16, I've never not had a girl around me, I just kind of logically moved from one stale relationship to another that worked. I gave the prior a fair run, but in the end I was just feeling guilty for the most insignificant things, and I didn't feel like I was allowed to be an honest person.