My girlfriend and I broke up.

**Crazyswordsman** · 04-25-2009, 09:31 AM

I hate having to tell this to you guys, but it's true.

Apparently she's so demanding of me. The day after I BEND OVER BACKWARDS and take my whole evening to take a 45 minute train ride out to her town to meet her and take her out to dinner, the day I forget to call her, she breaks up with me. I make a mistake; she gets pissed. I did a lot for her, in my opinion, that makes it a lot for me. She wants to be the #1 thing in my life, but I'm just not ready for that yet. I have my job and my family as my #1 and #2 things in my life right now, and I intend for things to stay that way for the time being. If she can't respect that I need some independence and freedom, plus the distance, then it just won't work out.

For believing these things, she thinks I'm mean, even though that's not true. I did a lot for her, but there are times when I just have other priorities. It was not my intention to be mean, and for her to feel that way and not accept my apologies and my continuing efforts to make things right, it makes me feel very sad. It makes me feel like a bad person.

And as a result, she broke up with me. And now, although I think it's probably for the best, I'm lonely again.

-CSM

**Valigarmander** · 04-25-2009, 09:37 AM

Well, dude, if she broke up with you over that, then it's probably not worth it. And it's probably better to be alone than with someone who doesn't respect you.

Making relationships is a long, hard, stupid process, but trust me when I say you'll find someone just right for you in the end. I hope you the best, CSM.

**Crazyswordsman** · 04-25-2009, 09:52 AM

^She says she does and she doesn't think I respect her; well she obviously doesn't respect me if she is that demanding of me. -CSM

**Loot** · 04-27-2009, 06:45 AM

You may be lonely, but you must remember

You are free.

Perrin Aybara · 04-27-2009, 12:14 PM

Sounds like you're better off without her.

It's better to be a little lonely then to be in a bad relationship.

-jay

Eagle Eye · 04-27-2009, 02:36 PM

^Right.

Too many people are right now are rushing to be in relationships just to be in one. Not saying this was your case, but don't feel as if you necessarily need to be in one.

In short, don't let her whip you around just because she may know you want to be with her just to be with her.

Maximum Spider · 04-27-2009, 03:03 PM

Geez, nobody really cares if you make a mistake, do they?

Just remind yourself if she's going to be that testy about a mistake, she can find someone who does everything she wants and needs them to do.

Metal Man · 04-27-2009, 03:45 PM

Take it from me--better a breakup over a petty thing than a marriage where that petty thing slowly drives you insane, winds up creating children who are effected by it, and ruins multiple lives.

I speak from being a child of a marriage where the 'petty things' didn't break it off... let's just say there's a reason I don't get effected by internet drama.

It doesn't have anything on the madness created by the aformentioned stuff has caused.

**Marchie** · 04-27-2009, 04:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Perrin Aybara

Sounds like you're better off without her.

It's better to be a little lonely then to be in a bad relationship.

-jay

QFT

SOrry to hear about that, but you're a lot better off. Good luck finding another one CSM.

**Crazyswordsman** · 04-27-2009, 08:01 PM

I found out that not only is she a very heavy drinker, she loves to be brash when she drinks. This is something I don't need. I am very pacifistic. -CSM

Eagle Eye · 04-28-2009, 12:39 AM

Break in the door, Kappa Shimmy, and then stanky leg, stone cold stunner her, then run out the door.

***Saria Dragon of the Rain Wilds*** · 04-28-2009, 06:47 AM

Sorry to hear it, CSM. I hope you find someone more compatible with yourself soon. Just keep your chin up in the meantime, yeah? :]

**Crazyswordsman** · 04-30-2009, 09:11 PM

She sent me this email today:

Quote:

Hey,
I don't even know if your going to get this. I hope you do. I just have some things to say. I miss you... Well most of the time. I guess it hurts because I really cared about you, maybe I still do. I don't think I can be your friend. I mean I really can't. I know that's shallow but Im always going to think about what we had instead of what it is. I think your a jerk. You hurt my feelings. I mean really I say it's over in a txt message and it's really over? Yes, I was pissed but what the hell? No phone call the next day? But I must have made it easy for you.You didn't even pick up your phone when I called. What a jerk. I thought we meant more to each other than that but I guess not. You made it apparent that you don't care. Damn this is horrible. You probably don't have anything to say... so whatever don't e-mail me back then.

After a hard day, this was the last thing I needed. But I responded like this:

Quote:

Hey,

I'm sorry you feel this way, [name deleted]. I miss you too, and I really care about you, too. But as a friend, not as a boy/girlfriend. The truth is I'm just not ready for a relationship the way you want it, especially with me in these hard times right now, trying to improve myself at work. This is something I learned. I thought I was ready, but I guess I'm just not.... I know it sounds shallow, and I hate feeling this way, but it's just the way I feel.

I know I come off as being a jerk, but please try to understand me and where I come from. I have a lot of stress in my life right now.

And this wasn't the first time we had this thing when you threaten to end the relationship or make me nervous just because I miss a call. I was really hurt that night and that's not something I'm ready for yet, especially as a guy just out of college trying to struggle through a difficult economy.

I know it's hard for you to understand, but when you said it was over I was really, really hurt and upset. I was almost in tears. I don't know if I'm ready for that yet.

I'm sorry I hurt your feelings, and I want to know that I still think about you.

Missing you,

I feel even worse after a day of being yelled at by my boss and worrying about my future. This week sucks. A lot. -CSM

**Galefore** · 05-01-2009, 03:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Andre who is awesome

stone cold stunner her

Please, please, for the love of God do this. Please.

Anyway, it sounds like a bad, bad situation. You're better off by yourself, if she's going to have two faces and be manipulative, there's no point to it anyway.

04-25-2009, 09:31 AM	#1
Crazyswordsman This key doesn't work. Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Booyaville (yeah!) Gender: Posts: 10,791 Thanks: 1,019 Thanked 686 Times in 467 Posts	My girlfriend and I broke up. I hate having to tell this to you guys, but it's true. Apparently she's so demanding of me. The day after I BEND OVER BACKWARDS and take my whole evening to take a 45 minute train ride out to her town to meet her and take her out to dinner, the day I forget to call her, she breaks up with me. I make a mistake; she gets pissed. I did a lot for her, in my opinion, that makes it a lot for me. She wants to be the #1 thing in my life, but I'm just not ready for that yet. I have my job and my family as my #1 and #2 things in my life right now, and I intend for things to stay that way for the time being. If she can't respect that I need some independence and freedom, plus the distance, then it just won't work out. For believing these things, she thinks I'm mean, even though that's not true. I did a lot for her, but there are times when I just have other priorities. It was not my intention to be mean, and for her to feel that way and not accept my apologies and my continuing efforts to make things right, it makes me feel very sad. It makes me feel like a bad person. And as a result, she broke up with me. And now, although I think it's probably for the best, I'm lonely again. -CSM

04-25-2009, 09:37 AM	#2
Valigarmander The Bee's Knees Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: The land of rain and trees (Oregon) Gender: Posts: 29,755 Thanks: 1,649 Thanked 5,700 Times in 2,580 Posts Blog Entries: 20	Well, dude, if she broke up with you over that, then it's probably not worth it. And it's probably better to be alone than with someone who doesn't respect you. Making relationships is a long, hard, stupid process, but trust me when I say you'll find someone just right for you in the end. I hope you the best, CSM.

04-25-2009, 09:52 AM	#3
Crazyswordsman This key doesn't work. Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Booyaville (yeah!) Gender: Posts: 10,791 Thanks: 1,019 Thanked 686 Times in 467 Posts	^She says she does and she doesn't think I respect her; well she obviously doesn't respect me if she is that demanding of me. -CSM

04-27-2009, 06:45 AM	#4
Loot Apparently I'm a mod? Join Date: May 2001 Location: LEGITIMATE BUSINESS Gender: Posts: 13,208 Thanks: 236 Thanked 1,237 Times in 659 Posts	You may be lonely, but you must remember You are free.

04-27-2009, 12:14 PM	#5
Perrin Aybara Veteran Member Join Date: Apr 1999 Location: Alone....so terribly alone... Some... where... out... there... dies Gender: Posts: 12,760 Thanks: 194 Thanked 504 Times in 235 Posts	Sounds like you're better off without her. It's better to be a little lonely then to be in a bad relationship. -jay

04-27-2009, 02:36 PM	#6
Eagle Eye Diddy bops Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: Birmingham, AL Gender: Posts: 15,014 Thanks: 1,616 Thanked 1,084 Times in 597 Posts	^Right. Too many people are right now are rushing to be in relationships just to be in one. Not saying this was your case, but don't feel as if you necessarily need to be in one. In short, don't let her whip you around just because she may know you want to be with her just to be with her.

04-27-2009, 03:03 PM	#7
Maximum Spider Senior Member Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: I'll take Street Fighter over Dragonball any day. Gender: Posts: 2,549 Thanks: 0 Thanked 191 Times in 126 Posts	Geez, nobody really cares if you make a mistake, do they? Just remind yourself if she's going to be that testy about a mistake, she can find someone who does everything she wants and needs them to do.

04-27-2009, 03:45 PM	#8
Metal Man Fairy-Slaying Maniac Join Date: Apr 2000 Location: 1592 Miles Away From Here Gender: Posts: 18,062 Thanks: 148 Thanked 683 Times in 482 Posts	Take it from me--better a breakup over a petty thing than a marriage where that petty thing slowly drives you insane, winds up creating children who are effected by it, and ruins multiple lives. I speak from being a child of a marriage where the 'petty things' didn't break it off... let's just say there's a reason I don't get effected by internet drama. It doesn't have anything on the madness created by the aformentioned stuff has caused.

04-27-2009, 08:01 PM	#10
Crazyswordsman This key doesn't work. Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Booyaville (yeah!) Gender: Posts: 10,791 Thanks: 1,019 Thanked 686 Times in 467 Posts	I found out that not only is she a very heavy drinker, she loves to be brash when she drinks. This is something I don't need. I am very pacifistic. -CSM

04-28-2009, 12:39 AM	#11
Eagle Eye Diddy bops Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: Birmingham, AL Gender: Posts: 15,014 Thanks: 1,616 Thanked 1,084 Times in 597 Posts	Break in the door, Kappa Shimmy, and then stanky leg, stone cold stunner her, then run out the door.

04-28-2009, 06:47 AM	#12
*Saria Dragon of the Rain Wilds* Admin "mine.. not yours. NO. MINE." Epic Ladynerd Join Date: Jul 2000 Location: Forteresse de Valois Gender: Posts: 28,504 Thanks: 1,658 Thanked 1,820 Times in 1,042 Posts	Sorry to hear it, CSM. I hope you find someone more compatible with yourself soon. Just keep your chin up in the meantime, yeah? :]