.........

Bomby · 05-07-2009, 01:14 AM

A year ago I fell for someone. I fell for her very hard. I fell for her so hard that I would get extremely nervous around her, and never really got to be myself around her. I knew if I could have just been myself around her, she'd probably like me quite a bit, and maybe even want to date me.

Toward the end of the year, I asked her out to dinner. She had plans that night. I took it as rejection, thinking she had blown me off. As if turned out, she really was busy that night, and after I left, she was all like, "Hey - we never got to have a meal together." I wasn't sure if she was trying to let me down easy or what, but she promised to visit me in the fall. I never got her phone number, though.

I spent all summer trying to forget her, but I couldn't. I missed her. I missed her eyes, I missed her smile, I missed her Korean accent, I missed her sweetness, I missed her occasional sardonic comments. I started writing a short story on my blog here at VGF to vent my frustrations. I couldn't wait for fall.

Fall came. I lived in the same building as the year before. She didn't. Everywhere I turned was another memory of her - shuffling to her door, saying hi to me while turning the corner. I would hear footsteps of wet sandals and remember her trudging back to her room every night after a late night shower.

Her old roommate still lived in the same room, though. I would see her old roommate, and she'd say, "Hey, let's call Soyoung! Let's invite her over!" I didn't want to admit that I was still nowhere close to being over her, so it was hard for me to bring up. In the end, she never called and invited her over.

I looked for other girls - but any girl who piqued my interest was just a pale imitation of her. They might have one of the aspects I liked about her - but I still wanted the real deal.

The more time passed, the more miserable I became in missing her. In December, I saw her at the library studying with a friend, but I was too nervous to walk over to stop and talk to her, so I just walked by and said hi. Perhaps it was because her friend was male, but it made me rather sad. Either she didn't recognize or just didn't really see me, but she didn't say anything back.

I became more and more miserable over second semester. I wanted to see her so bad, but I couldn't find her. Was that male friend of hers her boyfriend?

I started seeing a shrink over various things, but she was a topic that kept popping up more and more with each visit.

I saw her about two and a half weeks ago outside of where I work. She didn't see me, but I decided I had to seek her out. I started studying every night at the library I saw her at back in December.

I'd changed so much over the past year, people love being around me, and I knew if I could just get her phone number and reconnect with her then maybe next fall I could start to get closer to her.

I saw her again a week ago. She walked by, I waved, she said "Hey." I asked her how she was. She said "good." She went to the bathroom.

I kept coming to the library. I saw her Sunday. I saw her last night. But I couldn't get more than a greeting out of her, and I kept freezing up when I meant to go talk to her.

Tonight, I finally got a chance to invite her to come visit before the end of the year. She said she would. I asked for her number. She gave me her number but...

...

... then she said she's transferring to Cornell.

I am so unbelievably heartbroken right now. I haven't felt this sad in years.

ZeldaGirl · 05-07-2009, 02:05 AM

Damn, that sucks SO much man. BUT, you have her number - that's a start! Even though she'll be gone, you can still be in contact with her. And who knows? Just because there's distance between you doesn't mean something can't start, you know? Look at VGF and its long distance relationships... just wait and see, for now.

*hugs*

Vgfian · 05-07-2009, 07:18 AM

Damn, that's a harsh thing.
I can't really say anything in great detail, but I can say that hopefully everything will work out in the end, but it's like ZG said, "You have her number - that's a start! Even though she'll be gone, you can still be in contact with her. And who knows? Just because there's distance between you doesn't mean something can't start, you know?"

You got support here bro.

***Cosmonautical*** · 05-07-2009, 12:02 PM

distance is a bummer, but it's not the end forever and ever

depends on how much she digs you, man

Bomby · 05-07-2009, 07:27 PM

I've decided that I'm going to do whatever I can to keep in contact. Phone, IM, whatever. She's worth the effort.

Bomby · 06-27-2009, 09:34 PM

It's really real. She's transferring to another school and not coming back. What have I done? Not call. Not even sure what we'd talk about. Try not to think about her. Try not to think about anything much. Why do I always fall for the one where there's one HUGE ****ING OBSTACLE that stops the momentum?

I can talk to anyone and everyone about how I feel but it's not going to change. I have to make myself call her. I'll be surprised if she even answers... I know, it's not a good attitude to have. What's the point in even calling her? We have nothing to talk about anymore. I want more than anything just to be able to move on.

***Cosmonautical*** · 06-28-2009, 02:12 AM

So just end it, man. You don't have to have one specific person, and you're probably just making her out to be someone she's not in your head.

I'd love to take you out to get a coffee or soup or something so we could chill and you could put your mind at ease, and have a chat. I mean, I understand missing someone, but it's not the end of everything. Why are you afraid of talking to her? Because you're afraid of messing up. Why would you mess up? Because you know you're afraid of messing up. It's all BS, and you know it. Gotta swing if you want to get a hit.

Bomby · 06-28-2009, 11:35 AM

It's not really that I'm afraid of messing it up, it's that I'm afraid that she just won't want to talk to me. Rather, I'm sure if she does want to talk to me, I should eventually think of something interesting to say, and I'm quite confident in my ability to entertain others. I was afraid of messing everything up when I first started talking to her, and that's sort of mess me up. It's one of those situations where you just don't want to know the answer, because if it's not definite you can always imagine there was something there. I don't want this to really be the end, but judging by her personality, I just don't see anything developing while she's a thousand miles away.

John Galt · 06-28-2009, 07:33 PM

I can relate, Bomby.

When I was at Montana State University a couple years back, I fell for a girl there. She had a sweet personality, an intelligent mind, an attractive body and an awesome smile. Unfortunately, I let some other things get in my way. It still tortures me to think of her and what could have been.

Oh, well. I think some people are meant to go through life alone.

ZeldaGirl · 06-28-2009, 07:44 PM

Whoa, dude, you're still young yet. Don't think that way.

John Galt · 06-28-2009, 08:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ZeldaGirl

Whoa, dude, you're still young yet. Don't think that way.

Young and disillusioned.

I know it may sound strange, but I actually don't mind being alone. Most people tend to get on my nerves. In all honesty, this girl probably would have been no different.

This whole romance gig is just a bunch of drama, anyway. I know several people that have been burned pretty bad in the game of love.

Swordmaster Link · 06-28-2009, 10:33 PM

The distance thing can be tough Bomby, but AI is right in that you never know what will happen if you don't at least try to keep in contact. Maybe something will happen, maybe something wont, but if she means that much to you it's always worth it to be a part of that person's life, even if it is just you talking to her on the phone. Also, don't think of it as you having to find something interesting to say...with that mindset you'll put pressure on yourself, and at the end of the day talking to someone you care about should be one of the least stressful situations there are in this world.

...and worst case scenario? She doesn't want to you? There are worse things that can happen man, trust me. Besides, you're a pretty interesting character man, with your varied interests I'm sure you can find other people to form potential connections with. You just have to open yourself up to that possibilities.

As always, easier said than done, but yeah.

The Spark · 06-30-2009, 01:37 AM

Closure is key

***Cosmonautical*** · 07-05-2009, 05:51 AM

There is no such thing as closure. You just keep living and eventually you have other things to think about.

Eric · 07-05-2009, 10:14 AM

Wow...... That's just harsh.
As I see it there are two choices:

1) Depending on how far she's now you can still call and meet.

2) Forget it. There are other fish in the sea.

Bomby · 07-05-2009, 12:09 PM

She lives way out on the east coast, and Cornell is in New York. I live and go to school in Wisconsin. It's a bit far away.

Eric · 07-05-2009, 12:21 PM

Um..... That's a little akward. Go with #2. I know it seems tough trying to forget about it, but what else can you do?

Bomby · 07-29-2009, 08:48 PM

I tried calling earlier today. Either she changed her phone number or didn't pay her bills. I'm pretty sure I'm not the reason if its the former...

So I sent her a goodbye email.

...

Life sucks.

Luigiman7 · 07-29-2009, 09:08 PM

That sucks. You're going through hard times, and now this happenes. Hope things look up for you Bomby.

**Valigarmander** · 07-29-2009, 09:25 PM

I'm sorry to hear, Bomby. I hope the best for you in the times to come... tomorrow's a brand new day, mate.

*bro hug*

05-07-2009, 01:14 AM	#1
Bomby You just freaking blew Joe Biden's mind! Join Date: Jun 2000 Location: WHAT?house Gender: Posts: 19,491 Thanks: 513 Thanked 1,449 Times in 849 Posts Blog Entries: 5	......... A year ago I fell for someone. I fell for her very hard. I fell for her so hard that I would get extremely nervous around her, and never really got to be myself around her. I knew if I could have just been myself around her, she'd probably like me quite a bit, and maybe even want to date me. Toward the end of the year, I asked her out to dinner. She had plans that night. I took it as rejection, thinking she had blown me off. As if turned out, she really was busy that night, and after I left, she was all like, "Hey - we never got to have a meal together." I wasn't sure if she was trying to let me down easy or what, but she promised to visit me in the fall. I never got her phone number, though. I spent all summer trying to forget her, but I couldn't. I missed her. I missed her eyes, I missed her smile, I missed her Korean accent, I missed her sweetness, I missed her occasional sardonic comments. I started writing a short story on my blog here at VGF to vent my frustrations. I couldn't wait for fall. Fall came. I lived in the same building as the year before. She didn't. Everywhere I turned was another memory of her - shuffling to her door, saying hi to me while turning the corner. I would hear footsteps of wet sandals and remember her trudging back to her room every night after a late night shower. Her old roommate still lived in the same room, though. I would see her old roommate, and she'd say, "Hey, let's call Soyoung! Let's invite her over!" I didn't want to admit that I was still nowhere close to being over her, so it was hard for me to bring up. In the end, she never called and invited her over. I looked for other girls - but any girl who piqued my interest was just a pale imitation of her. They might have one of the aspects I liked about her - but I still wanted the real deal. The more time passed, the more miserable I became in missing her. In December, I saw her at the library studying with a friend, but I was too nervous to walk over to stop and talk to her, so I just walked by and said hi. Perhaps it was because her friend was male, but it made me rather sad. Either she didn't recognize or just didn't really see me, but she didn't say anything back. I became more and more miserable over second semester. I wanted to see her so bad, but I couldn't find her. Was that male friend of hers her boyfriend? I started seeing a shrink over various things, but she was a topic that kept popping up more and more with each visit. I saw her about two and a half weeks ago outside of where I work. She didn't see me, but I decided I had to seek her out. I started studying every night at the library I saw her at back in December. I'd changed so much over the past year, people love being around me, and I knew if I could just get her phone number and reconnect with her then maybe next fall I could start to get closer to her. I saw her again a week ago. She walked by, I waved, she said "Hey." I asked her how she was. She said "good." She went to the bathroom. I kept coming to the library. I saw her Sunday. I saw her last night. But I couldn't get more than a greeting out of her, and I kept freezing up when I meant to go talk to her. Tonight, I finally got a chance to invite her to come visit before the end of the year. She said she would. I asked for her number. She gave me her number but... ... ... then she said she's transferring to Cornell. I am so unbelievably heartbroken right now. I haven't felt this sad in years.

05-07-2009, 07:18 AM	#3
Vgfian Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: Listening to Seeking 7 Seven and giving out free hugs. :) Gender: Posts: 6,862 Thanks: 2,433 Thanked 398 Times in 311 Posts	Damn, that's a harsh thing. I can't really say anything in great detail, but I can say that hopefully everything will work out in the end, but it's like ZG said, "You have her number - that's a start! Even though she'll be gone, you can still be in contact with her. And who knows? Just because there's distance between you doesn't mean something can't start, you know?" You got support here bro. Last edited by Vgfian; 06-30-2009 at 03:24 AM.

06-27-2009, 09:34 PM	#6
Bomby You just freaking blew Joe Biden's mind! Join Date: Jun 2000 Location: WHAT?house Gender: Posts: 19,491 Thanks: 513 Thanked 1,449 Times in 849 Posts Blog Entries: 5	It's really real. She's transferring to another school and not coming back. What have I done? Not call. Not even sure what we'd talk about. Try not to think about her. Try not to think about anything much. Why do I always fall for the one where there's one HUGE ***ING OBSTACLE that stops the momentum? I can talk to anyone and everyone about how I feel but it's not going to change. I have to make myself call her. I'll be surprised if she even answers... I know, it's not a good attitude to have. What's the point in even calling her? We have nothing to talk about anymore. I want more than anything just to be able to move on. Last edited by Bomby; 06-28-2009 at 12:45 AM.*

06-28-2009, 10:33 PM	#12
Swordmaster Link Super Bodyguard & King of the Arcade Join Date: Apr 2000 Location: Wherever you want me to be Gender: Posts: 32,132 Thanks: 253 Thanked 951 Times in 640 Posts Blog Entries: 2	The distance thing can be tough Bomby, but AI is right in that you never know what will happen if you don't at least try to keep in contact. Maybe something will happen, maybe something wont, but if she means that much to you it's always worth it to be a part of that person's life, even if it is just you talking to her on the phone. Also, don't think of it as you having to find something interesting to say...with that mindset you'll put pressure on yourself, and at the end of the day talking to someone you care about should be one of the least stressful situations there are in this world. ...and worst case scenario? She doesn't want to you? There are worse things that can happen man, trust me. Besides, you're a pretty interesting character man, with your varied interests I'm sure you can find other people to form potential connections with. You just have to open yourself up to that possibilities. As always, easier said than done, but yeah. Last edited by Swordmaster Link; 06-28-2009 at 10:33 PM. Reason: Automerged Doublepost

07-29-2009, 09:08 PM	#19
Luigiman7 ヽ(◔ ◡ ◔)ノ.･ﾟ*｡･+☆ Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: ~)´◡｀(~ Gender: Posts: 17,605 Thanks: 1,134 Thanked 1,012 Times in 713 Posts Blog Entries: 8	That sucks. You're going through hard times, and now this happenes. Hope things look up for you Bomby. __________________ ／人◕ ‿‿ ◕人＼ＷＯＮ’Ｔ　ＹＯＵ　ＢＥＣＯＭＥ　Ａ　ＭＡＧＩＣＡＬ　ＧＩＲＬ？

05-07-2009, 02:05 AM	#2
ZeldaGirl Awesome member Join Date: Jun 2001 Location: Why do YOU want to know...? Gender: Posts: 15,896 Thanks: 1,130 Thanked 1,919 Times in 1,046 Posts	Damn, that sucks SO much man. BUT, you have her number - that's a start! Even though she'll be gone, you can still be in contact with her. And who knows? Just because there's distance between you doesn't mean something can't start, you know? Look at VGF and its long distance relationships... just wait and see, for now. hugs

05-07-2009, 12:02 PM	#4
*Cosmonautical* Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: I rub my tilde all over your asterisk Gender: Posts: 28,100 Thanks: 2,151 Thanked 5,338 Times in 2,433 Posts	distance is a bummer, but it's not the end forever and ever depends on how much she digs you, man

05-07-2009, 07:27 PM	#5
Bomby You just freaking blew Joe Biden's mind! Join Date: Jun 2000 Location: WHAT?house Gender: Posts: 19,491 Thanks: 513 Thanked 1,449 Times in 849 Posts Blog Entries: 5	I've decided that I'm going to do whatever I can to keep in contact. Phone, IM, whatever. She's worth the effort.

06-28-2009, 02:12 AM	#7
*Cosmonautical* Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: I rub my tilde all over your asterisk Gender: Posts: 28,100 Thanks: 2,151 Thanked 5,338 Times in 2,433 Posts	So just end it, man. You don't have to have one specific person, and you're probably just making her out to be someone she's not in your head. I'd love to take you out to get a coffee or soup or something so we could chill and you could put your mind at ease, and have a chat. I mean, I understand missing someone, but it's not the end of everything. Why are you afraid of talking to her? Because you're afraid of messing up. Why would you mess up? Because you know you're afraid of messing up. It's all BS, and you know it. Gotta swing if you want to get a hit.

06-28-2009, 11:35 AM	#8
Bomby You just freaking blew Joe Biden's mind! Join Date: Jun 2000 Location: WHAT?house Gender: Posts: 19,491 Thanks: 513 Thanked 1,449 Times in 849 Posts Blog Entries: 5	It's not really that I'm afraid of messing it up, it's that I'm afraid that she just won't want to talk to me. Rather, I'm sure if she does want to talk to me, I should eventually think of something interesting to say, and I'm quite confident in my ability to entertain others. I was afraid of messing everything up when I first started talking to her, and that's sort of mess me up. It's one of those situations where you just don't want to know the answer, because if it's not definite you can always imagine there was something there. I don't want this to really be the end, but judging by her personality, I just don't see anything developing while she's a thousand miles away.

06-28-2009, 07:33 PM	#9
John Galt Junior Member Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: Little Ireland Gender: Posts: 490 Thanks: 20 Thanked 32 Times in 20 Posts	I can relate, Bomby. When I was at Montana State University a couple years back, I fell for a girl there. She had a sweet personality, an intelligent mind, an attractive body and an awesome smile. Unfortunately, I let some other things get in my way. It still tortures me to think of her and what could have been. Oh, well. I think some people are meant to go through life alone.

06-28-2009, 07:44 PM	#10
ZeldaGirl Awesome member Join Date: Jun 2001 Location: Why do YOU want to know...? Gender: Posts: 15,896 Thanks: 1,130 Thanked 1,919 Times in 1,046 Posts	Whoa, dude, you're still young yet. Don't think that way.

06-30-2009, 01:37 AM	#13
The Spark Member Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: At the bottom of the shipping address list Gender: Posts: 1,743 Thanks: 156 Thanked 74 Times in 54 Posts	Closure is key

07-05-2009, 05:51 AM	#14
*Cosmonautical* Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: I rub my tilde all over your asterisk Gender: Posts: 28,100 Thanks: 2,151 Thanked 5,338 Times in 2,433 Posts	There is no such thing as closure. You just keep living and eventually you have other things to think about.

07-05-2009, 10:14 AM	#15
Eric Member Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Up your arse and around the corner. Gender: Posts: 1,343 Thanks: 236 Thanked 65 Times in 51 Posts	Wow...... That's just harsh. As I see it there are two choices: 1) Depending on how far she's now you can still call and meet. 2) Forget it. There are other fish in the sea.

07-05-2009, 12:09 PM	#16
Bomby You just freaking blew Joe Biden's mind! Join Date: Jun 2000 Location: WHAT?house Gender: Posts: 19,491 Thanks: 513 Thanked 1,449 Times in 849 Posts Blog Entries: 5	She lives way out on the east coast, and Cornell is in New York. I live and go to school in Wisconsin. It's a bit far away.

07-05-2009, 12:21 PM	#17
Eric Member Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Up your arse and around the corner. Gender: Posts: 1,343 Thanks: 236 Thanked 65 Times in 51 Posts	Um..... That's a little akward. Go with #2. I know it seems tough trying to forget about it, but what else can you do?

07-29-2009, 08:48 PM	#18
Bomby You just freaking blew Joe Biden's mind! Join Date: Jun 2000 Location: WHAT?house Gender: Posts: 19,491 Thanks: 513 Thanked 1,449 Times in 849 Posts Blog Entries: 5	I tried calling earlier today. Either she changed her phone number or didn't pay her bills. I'm pretty sure I'm not the reason if its the former... So I sent her a goodbye email. ... Life sucks.

07-29-2009, 09:25 PM	#20
Valigarmander The Bee's Knees Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: The land of rain and trees (Oregon) Gender: Posts: 29,755 Thanks: 1,649 Thanked 5,700 Times in 2,580 Posts Blog Entries: 20	I'm sorry to hear, Bomby. I hope the best for you in the times to come... tomorrow's a brand new day, mate. bro hug