I don't even know what I did...

chibimod3 · 08-21-2009, 06:07 PM

Yeah my friend told me he didn't really like his girlfriend anymore and I gave him my honest opinion that it wasn't right to lead her along. So he dumped her about 4 hours ago. Well of course one of her friends get angry and I hold her back ect. Well he leaves and somehow they start blaming me... I'm confused as h***.

The friends agree and won't explain how she came to that conclusion. Now my friend and I discussed this and we can't figure out how. I'm getting a little bit pissed at how she can yell at me and is being completely irrational about the whole thing.

The only reason I see her hating me is me giving the advice and neither of us even said I did more that tell him that he was leading her on. I feel bad because she bought him a necklace that was pretty expensive. So I'm apparently the reason that they broke up in her eyes so she's more pissed at me then him. We think she's just in denial. But if any of you who know more about women than I do can tell me what is going on it would be most appreciated by both myself and my friend.

Jailbreaker · 08-21-2009, 06:13 PM

I don't know a thing about women, but my intuition says that, for whatever reason, she isn't serious. It sounds like when my friend has emotions that he doesn't want to tell anyone about, so he just treats people badly.

Possibly, she just doesn't want people to see her emotions?

I'm not sure. It's a start.

**Valigarmander** · 08-21-2009, 06:21 PM

It sounds like she just thinks you were the reason the relationship didn't work. When someone breaks up with you when you still loved them, it's really hard to figure things out for yourself, and it isn't easy to see that you were part of the problem. So, she's just trying to figure things out and cope with the grief, and unfortunately, you're the easiest target.

Don't take it personally, because all you did was give your friend advice. Whatever he did, it wasn't your decision, and whatever she does, it isn't your fault. This will all pass in time.

Robotazy · 08-21-2009, 06:23 PM

Punch everyone in the face.

chibimod3 · 08-21-2009, 06:23 PM

Goody....

So she is just basically in denial then? Makes about as much sense as anything else. But the way she made it sound was more than that. It just seems so to me but I'm most likely over complicating things.

**Valigarmander** · 08-21-2009, 06:34 PM

Maybe it'd be good to just sit back and see how things go from here.

Swordmaster Link · 08-21-2009, 06:41 PM

I'd probably just let things cool over for a bit...I mean, if he only dumped her 4 hours ago, that would mean she hasn't had much time to absorb it all and perhaps she's just lashing out.

Kil'jaeden · 08-21-2009, 08:58 PM

Why would you care if they are angry at you anyway?

chibimod3 · 08-21-2009, 09:32 PM

Because I still hang out with the peoples in question. And they hang out with almost everyone else I hang out with and can make my life very complicated. I would prefer to have my usual "unusual" life.

***Saria Dragon of the Rain Wilds*** · 08-21-2009, 11:21 PM

Give it some time. No one wants to hear that their boyfriend doesn't like them anymore, so she's just feeling hurt and confused. You need to let her have the time to process what she's going through. She might feel like you have had a hand in the breakup. Later, when she's feeling less angry, you can try to explain to her that you felt she deserved to be told the truth by your friend, rather than be led along if he felt things were over.

Mostly, though, just give everyone some time and some room. Don't take it personally, and don't say things in retaliation, because angry words are the hardest to take back.

08-21-2009, 06:07 PM	#1
chibimod3 Junior Member Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: The bottom of a Dr. Pepper bottle Gender: Posts: 497 Thanks: 52 Thanked 18 Times in 16 Posts	I don't even know what I did... Yeah my friend told me he didn't really like his girlfriend anymore and I gave him my honest opinion that it wasn't right to lead her along. So he dumped her about 4 hours ago. Well of course one of her friends get angry and I hold her back ect. Well he leaves and somehow they start blaming me... I'm confused as h***. The friends agree and won't explain how she came to that conclusion. Now my friend and I discussed this and we can't figure out how. I'm getting a little bit pissed at how she can yell at me and is being completely irrational about the whole thing. The only reason I see her hating me is me giving the advice and neither of us even said I did more that tell him that he was leading her on. I feel bad because she bought him a necklace that was pretty expensive. So I'm apparently the reason that they broke up in her eyes so she's more pissed at me then him. We think she's just in denial. But if any of you who know more about women than I do can tell me what is going on it would be most appreciated by both myself and my friend.

08-21-2009, 06:13 PM	#2
Jailbreaker Senior Member Join Date: Jun 2008 Location: Not in jail anymore, yay! Gender: Posts: 3,482 Thanks: 1,074 Thanked 185 Times in 118 Posts	I don't know a thing about women, but my intuition says that, for whatever reason, she isn't serious. It sounds like when my friend has emotions that he doesn't want to tell anyone about, so he just treats people badly. Possibly, she just doesn't want people to see her emotions? I'm not sure. It's a start.

08-21-2009, 06:21 PM	#3
Valigarmander The Bee's Knees Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: The land of rain and trees (Oregon) Gender: Posts: 29,755 Thanks: 1,649 Thanked 5,700 Times in 2,580 Posts Blog Entries: 20	It sounds like she just thinks you were the reason the relationship didn't work. When someone breaks up with you when you still loved them, it's really hard to figure things out for yourself, and it isn't easy to see that you were part of the problem. So, she's just trying to figure things out and cope with the grief, and unfortunately, you're the easiest target. Don't take it personally, because all you did was give your friend advice. Whatever he did, it wasn't your decision, and whatever she does, it isn't your fault. This will all pass in time.

08-21-2009, 06:23 PM	#4
Robotazy PRESS ANY KEY TO PANIC! Join Date: Sep 2000 Location: A Tiny Shed Gender: Posts: 16,483 Thanks: 529 Thanked 1,254 Times in 897 Posts Blog Entries: 46	Punch everyone in the face.

08-21-2009, 06:34 PM	#6
Valigarmander The Bee's Knees Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: The land of rain and trees (Oregon) Gender: Posts: 29,755 Thanks: 1,649 Thanked 5,700 Times in 2,580 Posts Blog Entries: 20	Maybe it'd be good to just sit back and see how things go from here.

08-21-2009, 06:41 PM	#7
Swordmaster Link Super Bodyguard & King of the Arcade Join Date: Apr 2000 Location: Wherever you want me to be Gender: Posts: 32,132 Thanks: 253 Thanked 951 Times in 640 Posts Blog Entries: 2	I'd probably just let things cool over for a bit...I mean, if he only dumped her 4 hours ago, that would mean she hasn't had much time to absorb it all and perhaps she's just lashing out.

08-21-2009, 08:58 PM	#8
Kil'jaeden Member Join Date: May 2003 Location: in your mind Gender: Posts: 2,132 Thanks: 21 Thanked 146 Times in 99 Posts	Why would you care if they are angry at you anyway?

08-21-2009, 09:32 PM	#9
chibimod3 Junior Member Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: The bottom of a Dr. Pepper bottle Gender: Posts: 497 Thanks: 52 Thanked 18 Times in 16 Posts	Because I still hang out with the peoples in question. And they hang out with almost everyone else I hang out with and can make my life very complicated. I would prefer to have my usual "unusual" life.

08-21-2009, 11:21 PM	#10
*Saria Dragon of the Rain Wilds* Admin "mine.. not yours. NO. MINE." Epic Ladynerd Join Date: Jul 2000 Location: Forteresse de Valois Gender: Posts: 28,504 Thanks: 1,658 Thanked 1,820 Times in 1,042 Posts	Give it some time. No one wants to hear that their boyfriend doesn't like them anymore, so she's just feeling hurt and confused. You need to let her have the time to process what she's going through. She might feel like you have had a hand in the breakup. Later, when she's feeling less angry, you can try to explain to her that you felt she deserved to be told the truth by your friend, rather than be led along if he felt things were over. Mostly, though, just give everyone some time and some room. Don't take it personally, and don't say things in retaliation, because angry words are the hardest to take back.