Ugh..

Ticktock · 10-02-2009, 06:38 PM

Well.. to make this short: I REALLY like my best friend of 5 years. I know he used to like me for a fact (dont feel like going into it but he didnt tell me) and he had this girlfriend before that he really liked which made me kinda jealous what with inviting me to hang out with him while they have their fun.. then she always asks me to help her with her relationship...but they recently broke up for good. Now i think he may like me but i doubt it... However he does want to hang out with me much more than usual, will randomly softly shove me and push me, and will hug me but as (as he calls) a joke. To be more specific he'll just come up behind me out of nowhere when we're hanging out and hug me really tightly. As well he likes to wrestle with me really often and when he hangs out at my house he'll want to be with me alone and we'll wrestle, then rest and he'll lay his head on my stomach or mine on his... And i cant stop thinking about him. It isnt depression but whenever i think about him i feel extremely sad and my stomach clenches..i dont know..And one time i asked another friend to ask him if like i asked him out or something what would he say he replied probably not because we're friends and he wouldnt want to ruin the relationship we have now, but then again he was with his other girlfriend then. so....do you think he likes me, should i go for it (If theres a bigger probabilty that he will say no then i wouldnt want to ask him as to maybe not freak him out or something?), or should i just wait and see what he does, which seems better to me? Any suggestions?

Vgfian · 10-02-2009, 06:49 PM

Hi.

Nice first post..

I don't know him well enough to say, but it seems he does like you.

I'd say go for it, how you put it it seems like even if he said no (which how you put it, I doubt he would) it wouldn't freak him out to the point of him staying away from you for good.

Like I said though, I can't say for sure, as I don't know him.

I'm not the most experienced when it comes to dating, but I think I do a good enough job of reading people.
Nevertheless, I'd say you should probably wait for someone else to come along with more experience.

I'm just calling it how I'm seeing it and giving my oppinion. :/

Good luck with it.

The Spark · 10-02-2009, 06:51 PM

Hey again!

**Valigarmander** · 10-02-2009, 06:53 PM

I would say to wait a little bit more before you decide on anything big. Take some more time to figure out if he likes you back. If you think there's a good chance he may have feelings toward you now, and you want to give it a try, then go for it. And let us know how it goes, either way.

Ticktock · 10-02-2009, 06:57 PM

Ya i think i'll go with Valigarmander on this one. I'm not sure if he does like me and he will probably come to my house this weekend so i'll see how things go then, afterwards deciding what i'll do.

LisBad · 10-02-2009, 07:13 PM

From what you wrote it sounds like he's got a thing for you. But in my opinion I think it's best to take things slow.

Vgfian · 10-02-2009, 07:16 PM

That would probably be your best choice, to take it slow wait and find out if he likes you I mean.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Valigarmander

And let us know how it goes, either way.

Also, this.

LisBad · 10-02-2009, 07:47 PM

I had a similar situation like this a few years back with a friend that I knew for awhile and we always kind of flirted, and it really sounded like what your now going through.
But it was really hard to read this guy and the more I hung out with him the more I started to like him but I never knew for sure if he did like me or not, even though it seemed so at times but we never did go out and I ended kind of feeling rejected, but thats only because I allowed it to happen if I had have gone slower and kind of guarded myself it would have.
I'm not saying thats whats going to happen to you because your situations probably different but I'd be careful. Just my advice.

***Saria Dragon of the Rain Wilds*** · 10-03-2009, 07:03 AM

Hah. "Wait it out" won't do much for you, other than make you like him more and be less likely to read his body language from an unbiased point of view. What you've described already sounds like someone who's pretty into you, if that's really what's going on.

Think of it this way: you like him. You're not going to "make a move" (including just tell him outright, or ask him about it), because you're nervous. If he likes you, won't he be doing the same thing? Someone needs to step up first and make it clear they feel like beginning a relationship.

My advise is to talk to him, openly. Tell him how you feel. Be casual; nothing worse than a person (any person) starting out this kind of thing with a cascade of "forever" and "marriage" and "babies", since if it works out, you can talk those things over later. Just let him know that you really enjoy his company, and you feel like the way he treats you is very special, and you'd like to date him.

If he doesn't want to be your boyfriend, honestly, he shouldn't behave the way you've described. Very familiar actions like the wrestling and cuddling are usually reserved for your partner (you wouldn't want him doing that with another girl, right?

). So if it doesn't work out, you can remain friends if you work at it, but the closeness will (and should) drop. *shrug*

The Spark · 10-03-2009, 11:54 AM

That's a tough one.. I would help you, but I don't have experience with that kinda stuff. Good luck though.

***Cosmonautical*** · 10-04-2009, 08:17 AM

He's totally into you, but he might be into other girls too. Take a chance, find out, or regret not acting on it for the rest of your life. At least taking the chance you get the opportunity of possibly hearing a yes. Don't and it's always a no in the end.

LisBad · 10-04-2009, 05:50 PM

I really hope that you get the best possible out come with whatever decision you make good luck!!

10-02-2009, 06:38 PM	#1
Ticktock Newbie Join Date: Oct 2009 Gender: Posts: 2 Thanks: 5 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts	Ugh.. Well.. to make this short: I REALLY like my best friend of 5 years. I know he used to like me for a fact (dont feel like going into it but he didnt tell me) and he had this girlfriend before that he really liked which made me kinda jealous what with inviting me to hang out with him while they have their fun.. then she always asks me to help her with her relationship...but they recently broke up for good. Now i think he may like me but i doubt it... However he does want to hang out with me much more than usual, will randomly softly shove me and push me, and will hug me but as (as he calls) a joke. To be more specific he'll just come up behind me out of nowhere when we're hanging out and hug me really tightly. As well he likes to wrestle with me really often and when he hangs out at my house he'll want to be with me alone and we'll wrestle, then rest and he'll lay his head on my stomach or mine on his... And i cant stop thinking about him. It isnt depression but whenever i think about him i feel extremely sad and my stomach clenches..i dont know..And one time i asked another friend to ask him if like i asked him out or something what would he say he replied probably not because we're friends and he wouldnt want to ruin the relationship we have now, but then again he was with his other girlfriend then. so....do you think he likes me, should i go for it (If theres a bigger probabilty that he will say no then i wouldnt want to ask him as to maybe not freak him out or something?), or should i just wait and see what he does, which seems better to me? Any suggestions?

10-02-2009, 06:49 PM	#2
Vgfian Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: Listening to Seeking 7 Seven and giving out free hugs. :) Gender: Posts: 6,862 Thanks: 2,433 Thanked 398 Times in 311 Posts	Hi. Nice first post.. I don't know him well enough to say, but it seems he does like you. I'd say go for it, how you put it it seems like even if he said no (which how you put it, I doubt he would) it wouldn't freak him out to the point of him staying away from you for good. Like I said though, I can't say for sure, as I don't know him. I'm not the most experienced when it comes to dating, but I think I do a good enough job of reading people. Nevertheless, I'd say you should probably wait for someone else to come along with more experience. I'm just calling it how I'm seeing it and giving my oppinion. :/ Good luck with it.

10-02-2009, 06:51 PM	#3
The Spark Member Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: At the bottom of the shipping address list Gender: Posts: 1,743 Thanks: 156 Thanked 74 Times in 54 Posts	Hey again!

10-02-2009, 06:53 PM	#4
Valigarmander The Bee's Knees Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: The land of rain and trees (Oregon) Gender: Posts: 29,755 Thanks: 1,649 Thanked 5,700 Times in 2,580 Posts Blog Entries: 20	I would say to wait a little bit more before you decide on anything big. Take some more time to figure out if he likes you back. If you think there's a good chance he may have feelings toward you now, and you want to give it a try, then go for it. And let us know how it goes, either way.

10-02-2009, 06:57 PM	#5
Ticktock Newbie Join Date: Oct 2009 Gender: Posts: 2 Thanks: 5 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts	Ya i think i'll go with Valigarmander on this one. I'm not sure if he does like me and he will probably come to my house this weekend so i'll see how things go then, afterwards deciding what i'll do.

10-02-2009, 07:13 PM	#6
LisBad Junior Member Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: california Gender: Posts: 123 Thanks: 53 Thanked 15 Times in 10 Posts	From what you wrote it sounds like he's got a thing for you. But in my opinion I think it's best to take things slow.

10-02-2009, 07:47 PM	#8
LisBad Junior Member Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: california Gender: Posts: 123 Thanks: 53 Thanked 15 Times in 10 Posts	I had a similar situation like this a few years back with a friend that I knew for awhile and we always kind of flirted, and it really sounded like what your now going through. But it was really hard to read this guy and the more I hung out with him the more I started to like him but I never knew for sure if he did like me or not, even though it seemed so at times but we never did go out and I ended kind of feeling rejected, but thats only because I allowed it to happen if I had have gone slower and kind of guarded myself it would have. I'm not saying thats whats going to happen to you because your situations probably different but I'd be careful. Just my advice.

10-03-2009, 07:03 AM	#9
*Saria Dragon of the Rain Wilds* Admin "mine.. not yours. NO. MINE." Epic Ladynerd Join Date: Jul 2000 Location: Forteresse de Valois Gender: Posts: 28,504 Thanks: 1,658 Thanked 1,820 Times in 1,042 Posts	Hah. "Wait it out" won't do much for you, other than make you like him more and be less likely to read his body language from an unbiased point of view. What you've described already sounds like someone who's pretty into you, if that's really what's going on. Think of it this way: you like him. You're not going to "make a move" (including just tell him outright, or ask him about it), because you're nervous. If he likes you, won't he be doing the same thing? Someone needs to step up first and make it clear they feel like beginning a relationship. My advise is to talk to him, openly. Tell him how you feel. Be casual; nothing worse than a person (any person) starting out this kind of thing with a cascade of "forever" and "marriage" and "babies", since if it works out, you can talk those things over later. Just let him know that you really enjoy his company, and you feel like the way he treats you is very special, and you'd like to date him. If he doesn't want to be your boyfriend, honestly, he shouldn't behave the way you've described. Very familiar actions like the wrestling and cuddling are usually reserved for your partner (you wouldn't want him doing that with another girl, right? ). So if it doesn't work out, you can remain friends if you work at it, but the closeness will (and should) drop. shrug

10-03-2009, 11:54 AM	#10
The Spark Member Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: At the bottom of the shipping address list Gender: Posts: 1,743 Thanks: 156 Thanked 74 Times in 54 Posts	That's a tough one.. I would help you, but I don't have experience with that kinda stuff. Good luck though.

10-04-2009, 08:17 AM	#11
*Cosmonautical* Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: I rub my tilde all over your asterisk Gender: Posts: 28,100 Thanks: 2,151 Thanked 5,338 Times in 2,433 Posts	He's totally into you, but he might be into other girls too. Take a chance, find out, or regret not acting on it for the rest of your life. At least taking the chance you get the opportunity of possibly hearing a yes. Don't and it's always a no in the end.

10-04-2009, 05:50 PM	#12
LisBad Junior Member Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: california Gender: Posts: 123 Thanks: 53 Thanked 15 Times in 10 Posts	I really hope that you get the best possible out come with whatever decision you make good luck!!