Insomnia

The Spark · 10-21-2009, 07:22 PM

My mom has insomnia really bad and hasn't slept for literally months aside from ten minute naps maybe twice a day. The few times she does get to sleep she has horrifically graphic nightmares and sometimes she can't remember what's reality or a dream. Is there something that can be done to help this because she can't think straight, is having severe depression (also considering our step-dad is a mentally/physically abusive dick), and is now turning to hard alchohol....Any tips?

**Valigarmander** · 10-21-2009, 07:26 PM

Does she have a doctor, or a psychologist/psychiatrist? Someone she can go to for help about this? It sounds like she needs professional help.

Other than that, all I can suggest is to be there for her. Talk to her, be there for her. Ask her about how she's feeling. Hopefully, your family will be able to get a diagnosis for whatever's going wrong now. I hope the best for you all, and we're always here to talk.

The Spark · 10-21-2009, 07:35 PM

Taking her to a doctor has been suggested a multitude of times, but she hates them and refuses to see one. The last time she talked to a psychologist, they put her into a metal institution when she was young and will probably never risk going back (really rough times as a kid).

My two brothers and I have tried comforting her but it hasn't been helping... The stress, paranoia, and depression has developed too far. For example, someone will make a comment and she'll immediately take it the wrong way, yelling and lecturing and calling names. She'll then storm to her room and begin crying hysterically, by which we'll go over and give her a big hug; tell her everything is alright. After the hugs, she'll then say sorry over and over and over, telling us of how she didn't mean it and that she hasn't had any rest, etc. I understand what she's going through but it is starting to scare me-as to what she might do...I hate seeing her go through this knowing that there is little I can do to help....

**Valigarmander** · 10-21-2009, 07:54 PM

I don't know how bad your mother's depression is, but a lot of it can be improved by things like eating healthier or exercising. Managing stress, daytime activities, things like that can also help. It's different for everybody, but a lot of the times the best things that can be done to combat depression can only be done by the person who's depressed. By being there for her, though, you can make it all a much easier process for her.

Here's a few resources I've used before. I hope they help:

Dealing with Depression: Self-Help and Coping Tips
Tips for Getting Better Sleep: How to Sleep Well Every Night
Stress Management: How to Reduce, Prevent, and Cope with Stress

The Spark · 10-21-2009, 07:58 PM

Thanks Val, I'll look into it.

**Valigarmander** · 10-21-2009, 07:59 PM

Keep us updated. I know it's no good having a family member in a situation like this. *e-hugs*

1-up Salesman · 10-23-2009, 07:10 PM

I'm really sorry. You must have an extremely hard life. I don't know what your beliefs are so you may not want to, but maybe you and your mom could go see a pastor or something like. Also, Val's advice is good. I'll pray for you and your family.

The Spark · 10-23-2009, 11:14 PM

I'm atheist and my mom is...Buddhist I think. She isn't really sure but last I checked, that was her answer. Life can at times be difficult, but she has her moments where I couldn't wish for a different one. Even though she's kinda messed up (this excludes when my step-father is home; he's a manager on a rig here in stupid Wyoming where he leaves for two weeks, then stays here for two weeks), she is very humorous, loving, and fun to be around. She has her episodes frequently but her generousity and personality makes up for it.

Also, she would've left Craig (step-dad) long ago (they've been together for 10 years, aren't married, and have even had my little brother Gunnar together who is now 8), except if she did we would have nowhere to go. She doesn't have a job (I understand why, I am NOT blaming her for our situation, plus Craig makes like...150 grand every year so we're set) so if we did leave there would be no money to get an apartment or anything, we have five horses and nowhere to put them since we would have to move into town (I live out in the country), and a single mom supporting three kids by herself in a really small town isn't easy. She always talks about getting a job and moving out, but can never get around to it.

LisBad · 10-30-2009, 11:12 PM

Has you're mom been like this all her life?
My mom has had her mental illness since she was a young girl it's really rough dealing with family members that are mentally ill but sometimes professional help is the only way to get the help that she needs.

Kargath · 10-31-2009, 12:50 AM

beyondblue: the national depression initiative

A major problem is your mother's refusal to get help. Try and point out that it's been X decades since her last experience, and times have changed. Point out that if she doesn't seek help, it won't get better.

10-21-2009, 07:22 PM	#1
The Spark Member Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: At the bottom of the shipping address list Gender: Posts: 1,743 Thanks: 156 Thanked 74 Times in 54 Posts	Insomnia My mom has insomnia really bad and hasn't slept for literally months aside from ten minute naps maybe twice a day. The few times she does get to sleep she has horrifically graphic nightmares and sometimes she can't remember what's reality or a dream. Is there something that can be done to help this because she can't think straight, is having severe depression (also considering our step-dad is a mentally/physically abusive dick), and is now turning to hard alchohol....Any tips?

10-21-2009, 07:35 PM	#3
The Spark Member Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: At the bottom of the shipping address list Gender: Posts: 1,743 Thanks: 156 Thanked 74 Times in 54 Posts	Taking her to a doctor has been suggested a multitude of times, but she hates them and refuses to see one. The last time she talked to a psychologist, they put her into a metal institution when she was young and will probably never risk going back (really rough times as a kid). My two brothers and I have tried comforting her but it hasn't been helping... The stress, paranoia, and depression has developed too far. For example, someone will make a comment and she'll immediately take it the wrong way, yelling and lecturing and calling names. She'll then storm to her room and begin crying hysterically, by which we'll go over and give her a big hug; tell her everything is alright. After the hugs, she'll then say sorry over and over and over, telling us of how she didn't mean it and that she hasn't had any rest, etc. I understand what she's going through but it is starting to scare me-as to what she might do...I hate seeing her go through this knowing that there is little I can do to help.... Last edited by The Spark; 10-21-2009 at 07:54 PM.

10-21-2009, 07:26 PM	#2
Valigarmander The Bee's Knees Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: The land of rain and trees (Oregon) Gender: Posts: 29,755 Thanks: 1,649 Thanked 5,700 Times in 2,580 Posts Blog Entries: 20	Does she have a doctor, or a psychologist/psychiatrist? Someone she can go to for help about this? It sounds like she needs professional help. Other than that, all I can suggest is to be there for her. Talk to her, be there for her. Ask her about how she's feeling. Hopefully, your family will be able to get a diagnosis for whatever's going wrong now. I hope the best for you all, and we're always here to talk.

10-21-2009, 07:54 PM	#4
Valigarmander The Bee's Knees Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: The land of rain and trees (Oregon) Gender: Posts: 29,755 Thanks: 1,649 Thanked 5,700 Times in 2,580 Posts Blog Entries: 20	I don't know how bad your mother's depression is, but a lot of it can be improved by things like eating healthier or exercising. Managing stress, daytime activities, things like that can also help. It's different for everybody, but a lot of the times the best things that can be done to combat depression can only be done by the person who's depressed. By being there for her, though, you can make it all a much easier process for her. Here's a few resources I've used before. I hope they help: Dealing with Depression: Self-Help and Coping Tips Tips for Getting Better Sleep: How to Sleep Well Every Night Stress Management: How to Reduce, Prevent, and Cope with Stress

10-21-2009, 07:58 PM	#5
The Spark Member Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: At the bottom of the shipping address list Gender: Posts: 1,743 Thanks: 156 Thanked 74 Times in 54 Posts	Thanks Val, I'll look into it.

10-21-2009, 07:59 PM	#6
Valigarmander The Bee's Knees Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: The land of rain and trees (Oregon) Gender: Posts: 29,755 Thanks: 1,649 Thanked 5,700 Times in 2,580 Posts Blog Entries: 20	Keep us updated. I know it's no good having a family member in a situation like this. e-hugs

10-23-2009, 07:10 PM	#7
1-up Salesman Senior Member Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: Letting you guys know that I'm planning on continuing Attack of the Spammers soon. Gender: Posts: 4,095 Thanks: 2,162 Thanked 250 Times in 194 Posts Blog Entries: 9	I'm really sorry. You must have an extremely hard life. I don't know what your beliefs are so you may not want to, but maybe you and your mom could go see a pastor or something like. Also, Val's advice is good. I'll pray for you and your family.

10-23-2009, 11:14 PM	#8
The Spark Member Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: At the bottom of the shipping address list Gender: Posts: 1,743 Thanks: 156 Thanked 74 Times in 54 Posts	I'm atheist and my mom is...Buddhist I think. She isn't really sure but last I checked, that was her answer. Life can at times be difficult, but she has her moments where I couldn't wish for a different one. Even though she's kinda messed up (this excludes when my step-father is home; he's a manager on a rig here in stupid Wyoming where he leaves for two weeks, then stays here for two weeks), she is very humorous, loving, and fun to be around. She has her episodes frequently but her generousity and personality makes up for it. Also, she would've left Craig (step-dad) long ago (they've been together for 10 years, aren't married, and have even had my little brother Gunnar together who is now 8), except if she did we would have nowhere to go. She doesn't have a job (I understand why, I am NOT blaming her for our situation, plus Craig makes like...150 grand every year so we're set) so if we did leave there would be no money to get an apartment or anything, we have five horses and nowhere to put them since we would have to move into town (I live out in the country), and a single mom supporting three kids by herself in a really small town isn't easy. She always talks about getting a job and moving out, but can never get around to it.

10-30-2009, 11:12 PM	#9
LisBad Junior Member Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: california Gender: Posts: 123 Thanks: 53 Thanked 15 Times in 10 Posts	Has you're mom been like this all her life? My mom has had her mental illness since she was a young girl it's really rough dealing with family members that are mentally ill but sometimes professional help is the only way to get the help that she needs.

10-31-2009, 12:50 AM	#10
Kargath et in Arcadia ego Join Date: Jul 2001 Gender: Posts: 8,334 Thanks: 1,226 Thanked 780 Times in 488 Posts	beyondblue: the national depression initiative A major problem is your mother's refusal to get help. Try and point out that it's been X decades since her last experience, and times have changed. Point out that if she doesn't seek help, it won't get better.