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 01-22-2010, 07:32 PM | #1 |
| Apparently I'm a mod?  Join Date: May 2001 Location: LEGITIMATE BUSINESS Gender:  Posts: 13,208 Thanks: 236 Thanked 1,237 Times in 659 Posts | I suck at small talk. Srsly, what's some good ways to increase my charisma points without having to level so much? (No, don't have anybody in mind yet. I'm... preparing, yeah I'll go with that) |
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| 01-22-2010, 07:53 PM | #3 |
| et in Arcadia ego Join Date: Jul 2001 Gender: Posts: 8,334 Thanks: 1,226 Thanked 780 Times in 488 Posts | If you have to talk about the weather, you've probably picked the wrong girl to try. |
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| 01-22-2010, 08:07 PM | #4 |
| Useful as an Owl  Join Date: Jan 2004 Gender: Posts: 15,943 Thanks: 753 Thanked 1,213 Times in 790 Posts Blog Entries: 10 | I am also bad at this, seeing as my dad has actually told me to do this...yeah talk about the dark brotherhood, everyone seems to be shocked about membership nowadays |
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| 01-22-2010, 08:49 PM | #5 |
| Junior Member Join Date: Oct 2009 Location: Mudkipland, CA Gender: Posts: 215 Thanks: 43 Thanked 6 Times in 6 Posts | Hmm... Well, you can focus on putting your skill points into speech, but that might make you easy pickings for super mutants. On a serious note, just be yourself, and the right girl'll love you for it. |
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| The Following User Says Thank You to CodenameV For This Useful Post: | PONIES (01-22-2010) |
| 01-22-2010, 08:50 PM | #6 |
| The Bee's Knees  Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: The land of rain and trees (Oregon) Gender: Posts: 29,755 Thanks: 1,649 Thanked 5,700 Times in 2,580 Posts Blog Entries: 20 | Showering, shaving, keeping a clear complexion and wearing deodorant always helps. As for small talk... I suck at that too. Just be yourself. |
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| 01-22-2010, 09:06 PM | #7 |
 Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Booyaville (yeah!) Gender: Posts: 10,791 Thanks: 1,019 Thanked 686 Times in 467 Posts | Make that five of us. I try to work on it, the problem is about 90% of small talk I hear has to do with TV shows I don't watch. -CSM |
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| 01-22-2010, 09:07 PM | #8 |
| Fairy-Slaying Maniac  Join Date: Apr 2000 Location: 1592 Miles Away From Here Gender: Posts: 18,062 Thanks: 148 Thanked 683 Times in 482 Posts | Just don't be me. I can talk, but I have a motormouth, causing people's eyes to glaze over as... *5 hours later* ...and then I rescued the person from the freezing cold river. What? Are you listening? Bah! |
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| 01-22-2010, 09:28 PM | #9 |
| PRESS ANY KEY TO PANIC!  Join Date: Sep 2000 Location: A Tiny Shed Gender: Posts: 16,483 Thanks: 529 Thanked 1,254 Times in 897 Posts Blog Entries: 46 | Just say this. It's the "cool thing" these days* I saw some mudcrabs by the water recently. I steered clear of them. *by these days, I mean 2003 |
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| 01-22-2010, 09:32 PM | #10 |
 *Admin* "mine.. not yours. NO. MINE." Epic Ladynerd  Join Date: Jul 2000 Location: Forteresse de Valois Gender:  Posts: 28,504 Thanks: 1,658 Thanked 1,820 Times in 1,042 Posts | Okay, the secret for talking to anyone? No, really. This is an easy secret. For anyone. Ask them about themselves. You meet someone, they seem to be friendly. Use context to choose your question. Ask them about their favourite food, school subject, colour, music, animal, movie, book, whatever. Ask them where their favourite hangout is. Ask them if they've ever been to a concert. Ask them what they thought of something newsworthy that happened recently. Ask them where they bought that shirt, it looks really great and you love the colour (yes, you can add that end part and everything!). You see them carrying a book. Ask them about it. Then tell them what you thought of the book, or another book, then ask them another question about book things. Sometimes just an interested, "Oh, cool," or, "Really?" will spur them to talk about it more. Include your own thoughts occasionally. If they're a decent enough person (read: not totally self obsessed), after they've answered, they're likely to ask you something back. This leads to discussion. Discussion moves itself, because most people have an opinion on most things. Important notes: don't argue with them, unless you're absolutely willing to conceed that they have every right to their opinion, and can argue respectfully. If you can't agree to disagree, you'll just make enemies. Even if you're 100% certain you're right, you can let them be wrong. You're just chatting. If you're so uptight that you argue about anything for the sake of arguing, then no one can help you but yourself. Don't diss on their favourite whatever, even if you think it's the dog's balls. Their favourite band is the worst thing you've ever heard? It's okay to say, "Heh, yeah, I don't really dig their stuff, but that's cool. Have you ever listened to *insert similar genre but ttly better band here*? I think they're pretty decent.". This rule doesn't apply if you're like AI and diss on everything, including your own favourite things. XD Sometimes it's hard to draw answers out. Especially if you ask something really vague, like, "What have you been up to?". Some people will answer, "Nothing." or similar. Of course, they haven't been doing nothing, literally. If you're really that interested in what they've been doing, make the question specific. Seen any movies lately? Read a new book? Pet a kitten? Seen baby swans down at the lake? Hung out at home doing chores, talking on the phone/internet with your friends? Bought a new sweater? Be ready to fill any lulls in conversation with some general rambling about something relevant. It helps if you have a wide range of general knowledge. Just found out her favourite drink ever is one she hasn't seen in ages? You just happen to know it can be bought at The Store! Exciting and useful information to share! Instant friend! You reunited her with her favourite drink. Well done. People talk about the weather because it's a completely neutral subject. That's okay. They don't like the cold? Ask them if they've ever been to Florida, or done any other travelling. Questions should come easily enough if you're genuinely interested in the person. If you're not interested in their opinion, or what they have to say, that usually means they're not a prospective partner, but you can be friends. Some light flattery doesn't hurt, either. Just a small compliment. Nothing too weird. "Your purse looks pretty cool. Where did you get it?" Easy secret, right? |
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| 01-22-2010, 10:25 PM | #11 |
| AND HE PRAYS  Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: Grayskull Gender: Posts: 18,806 Thanks: 1,405 Thanked 2,247 Times in 1,337 Posts Blog Entries: 15 | Agree with SD. Talking about them is a fantastic way to |
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| The Following User Says Thank You to Panfan For This Useful Post: | I REALLY HATE POKEMON! (01-26-2010) |
| 01-22-2010, 11:07 PM | #12 | |
| *Diddy bops*  Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: Birmingham, AL Gender: Posts: 15,014 Thanks: 1,616 Thanked 1,084 Times in 597 Posts | Quote:
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| 01-22-2010, 11:45 PM | #15 |
| Senior Member  Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: I weep oily black tears of joy. Gender:  Posts: 7,590 Thanks: 119 Thanked 418 Times in 306 Posts Blog Entries: 5 | Damnit, switching someone's eye contact to manual is never a good idea. They'll be all self conscious and **** and look like a total creep. |
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| 01-25-2010, 02:05 AM | #16 |
 Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: In my pants Gender: Posts: 4,613 Thanks: 2,502 Thanked 767 Times in 422 Posts | Just do what SD says, she's a chick, she knows her stuff. |
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| 01-25-2010, 06:59 AM | #17 |
| Marshmallow Knight ☆ Supermod  Join Date: Jun 2000 Location: Southern Ontario Gender: Posts: 23,274 Thanks: 568 Thanked 3,297 Times in 1,582 Posts Blog Entries: 1 |  Dr. Ace is in the house (and it's not lupus) When you're doing small talk, it's a good idea to start with something you know you have in common. For example, if you are in any school, you can use the "Hey, surviving exams?" question. You can then branch into what program they're in, what they want to do, what they did, etc. etc. This is why chatting to someone at a coffee shop can be difficult, because the only thing you have in common is that you want coffee or that you live inside of a biosphere which experiences weather. This is also why picking up ladies at funerals can be awkward, and only professionals should attempt to do so. (You must wear the appropriate safety equipment.) |
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| 01-26-2010, 10:08 PM | #18 |
| Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Booyaville (yeah!) Gender: Posts: 10,791 Thanks: 1,019 Thanked 686 Times in 467 Posts | One of the main reasons I can't do small talk at work is that everyone talks about their iPhones, which they all have but I don't. And no, I'm not going to get one. -CSM |
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| 01-26-2010, 11:28 PM | #19 | |
| Awesome member  Join Date: Jun 2001 Location: Why do YOU want to know...? Gender: Posts: 15,896 Thanks: 1,130 Thanked 1,919 Times in 1,046 Posts | Quote:
CSM, two things: 1) I refuse to believe that they never talk about anything else. Because that's just not possible to be true. 2) ...Ask them about it. Even if you have no intention of getting one, you can ask what they like about it - maybe ask about the apps too. Asking about what apps they have ("Oh, you have Scrabble on your iPhone - I love Scrabble, we should have a game night and play sometime!") can lead to something more substantial to talk about. | |
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| The Following User Says Thank You to ZeldaGirl For This Useful Post: | Crazyswordsman (01-27-2010) |
| 01-27-2010, 06:57 AM | #20 | |
| Marshmallow Knight ☆ Supermod Join Date: Jun 2000 Location: Southern Ontario Gender: Posts: 23,274 Thanks: 568 Thanked 3,297 Times in 1,582 Posts Blog Entries: 1 | Quote:
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