I have a plan to become sexy again

[Cosmonautical]

I have come to the conclusion that there is a fine line between rugged masculinity, and old hobo. My beard must be redefined, and so must my more northerly hair. Any fantastic suggestions?

[Vgfian]

YOU'LL ALWAYS BE SECKSAY TO ME AIEE AYE!

=3

If you really want help,


Tips for masculinity:

Lift weights.

Learn spear fighting.

Watch as many Chuck Norris, Sylvester Stallone, and Wesley Snipes films as you can, as well as the X-Men films whilst studying Wolverine. Study all of Clint Eastwoods roles in film, especially his older ones. Watch all the Indiana Jones films as well.
I'm sure there are more, but this joke is dying.

Also, play both the Metal Gear Solid series and Duke Nukem all the way through simultaneously, whilst completely immersing yourself into the characters.

Beat Megaman and Bass without cheating.

Wrestle and force an Oak tree to tap out.

Go get attacked by a bear, and punch it to death.

Chug a pint of raw eggs, rocks, gun powder, battery acid, liquid testosterone, and ground ox testicles, and fresh cigars/cigarettes mixed together using a big lead pot and the barrel of a shotgun, and boiled with your own RAEG for at least ten minutes. (Add in the eggs after boiling to ensure full rawness) DRINK AT LEAST 11 TIMES A DAY. BE SURETO DRINK OUT OF A BEAR SKULL OR YAK BLADDER.

USE CAPS-LOCK OFTEN

TURN THE AMPS UP TO ELEVEN.

Watch WWE (and old, good wwf fights) and Ninja Warrior.

Watch extreme sports alot.

Watch UFC, MMA, and old classic boxing matches.

Make up awesome acronyms.

Learn to love football, fishing, and baseball.

Spit.

Study all of the Chuck Norris facts by heart.

Learn to stare a book down for information rather than reading it.

Learn how to kill two stones with one bird.

Learn how to slam a revolving door.

Kill at least 300 ninjas everyday just after waking up and doing palates.

Become a lumberjack.

Learn Hyper Beam attack.

get a hot girlfriend and/or wife

Buy a magnum.

Practice calling everyone, "pilgrim."

When you realize it sounds annoying, stop.

Buy and regularly wear a leather jacket.

Garner enough RAEG to sprout claws.

Become a part time mechanic and/or construction worker.

Jump on a lion, rip its mane out of its skull, and wear it as a sign of victory.
Afterward, chase down and kill ten deer and kill them using no modern equipment, while wearing the mane.

Bagpipe.

-
I'll think of more, I know.
-

On a serious note:

Sorry for lack of actual useful advice. :/
I'm sure some of it might help, but I doubt most of it.

also, inb4 bringing sexy back

[Cosmonautical]

thx this is all good advice

[CaptHayfever]

If it really is as simple as just restyling the hair, maybe go back to the goatee?

And remember, "I'm-a Luigi, number one!"

[Rainbow Dash]

why do i keep reading goatee as ******

[Dylan]

Do this.

[Jenocide]

Click to view video.

Also, you should pick one from the World Beard and Mustache Championships.

[Bomby]

I can't tell you how to be sexy, but if you want to be manpretty, always follow Takeshi Kaneshiro's lead. I normally consider myself to be straight, but he's just sooo manpretty:



Come to think of it, I think I just made this post as an excuse to post a picture of Takeshi Kaneshiro. Carry on, carry on.

[Cosmonautical]

I can pull off suave pretty well, Bombster, but I don't think it suits my personality. Kind of just makes me think I'd look like a d-bag.

Originally Posted by Jenocide

Also, you should pick one from the World Beard and Mustache Championships.

Hmmmmm yes. I am keeping those in mind for when I am an old man with the time to grow a very long beard.

Capt has a point. I would make a counterpoint, but it is a very good point. I will be doing something slightly different, though. The beard shaping is now in effect. I will have to move on to stage two.

[Ace Mercury]

So did you get your sexy back?

I heard Timberlake had it last, so I think you should push him into a volcano and get it back.

[Valigarmander]

What level of rugged masculinity? Are we talking Boromir? Aragorn? Or full-blown Gimli?

[Saria Dragon of the Rain Wilds]

Option one: look more like Johnny Depp

Option two: look more like Arthur from Inception

Option three: stay the same

:3

[Cosmonautical]

I don't have the luxury of being in the middle ages, and my neckbeard rocks pretty hard when I'm not keeping it in check, so I'm not sure that's as accurate a scale as you might think. Those men were well-groomed.

I'm going for more subtle, less rugged. I decided to do a Depp style facial hair:



I think it suits the shape of my face a bit.

Arthur looks good, but that's more in his manner of dress. My hairline and color would probably make his sort of slick, greased appearance a bit more awkward.