My boyfriend has already said he loves me.

Sonic 5 · 09-15-2010, 02:15 PM

We've only been dating for two weeks. I've tried to convince him that it's not love, it's just infatuation/a side effect of being in a new relationship, but he's just like, "NOPE."

Should I try to just ignore it for now or keep trying to convince him that he doesn't love me yet?

OR, should I take this as a major red flag and run for the hills while I still have the chance?

Bomby · 09-15-2010, 02:34 PM

If he's over the age of 20, head for the hills.
If he's under the age of 20, immaturity.

Give or take a few years. Maturity isn't a set-in-stone thing.

Also factor in how long he knew you before you guys started dating.

Sonic 5 · 09-15-2010, 06:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bomby von Bombsville

If he's over the age of 20, head for the hills.
If he's under the age of 20, immaturity.

Give or take a few years. Maturity isn't a set-in-stone thing.

Also factor in how long he knew you before you guys started dating.

He's 20. lol.

We knew each other for about two months.

Bomby · 09-15-2010, 06:44 PM

That is a bit of a short time to say he's "in love" with you, but it could just be immaturity. It's really something where you have to factor in his entire personality; ie, how seriously he treats the overall relationship.

Some people might take the terminology of being "in love" less seriously than others. To some people, it represents a sacred bond that should never be broken. To other people (myself included), it's just a chemical reaction in the brain that basically causes an attraction to another person that's more emotionally involving than other attractions. How "emotionally involving" it is varies from situation to situation, obviously. So when he says he's "in love" with you, he might just be describing a harmless emotion he's feeling with you at the time, or he might be dead serious about it.

Also, I'm probably not the best person to take advice from when it comes to situations like this, given my general ineptness with romantic relationships.

Sonic 5 · 09-15-2010, 07:19 PM

He said that he can't picture himself without me and that I make him happy.

Is that clingy? He gets all "

" if I don't text him every few minutes.

**S1x** · 09-15-2010, 07:44 PM

Every few minutes?

I would clearly think there's an attachment issue if somebody did that to me every hour.

Sonic 5 · 09-15-2010, 07:51 PM

Now we're arguing because I fell asleep earlier after getting home. I sent him a text, fell asleep, woke up three hours later, no reply, and thought nothing of it. About an hour after that, he's mad, texting me like, "If I don't reply within an hour, that means my message failed, and you should text me again," and he's legitimately pissed off about this. Ugh.

Bomby · 09-15-2010, 08:01 PM

My judgement tells me that this is something to worry about.

Sonic 5 · 09-15-2010, 08:10 PM

He's, self-admittedly, very insecure. He's a nice guy, though he claims the only reason his past relationships failed was either because the girl messed up or because of extenuating circumstances.

He really is a nice guy though, and I like him a lot, so I don't know if this is just something I should overlook or try to deal with.

**S1x** · 09-15-2010, 08:20 PM

Without trust it will not end well.

Sonic 5 · 09-15-2010, 08:55 PM

...and he just broke up with me because he said I was being a friend, not a girlfriend, and that being my boyfriend was stressing him out. -__-

At least that's one less thing I have to deal with now.

***CaptHayfever*** · 09-15-2010, 10:24 PM

Weird day, huh?

And remember, "I'm-a Luigi, number one!"

User Name · 09-15-2010, 10:27 PM

hahaha. I guess that solves that problem. I hope things work out. Guys like that can turn into really great friends after they realize a relationship won't work.

Dizzy · 09-16-2010, 12:06 AM

I have a feeling we'll be seeing this guy on the news sometime.

***Cosmonautical*** · 09-16-2010, 01:18 AM

There's no problem needing to be close to one another if you're happy being close, but that's usually something you slide into over time.

I know you broke up, but for futurish advice, try not to make a big deal out of words. They're just words. If he wants to use it, he wants to use it. Maybe he'll find out there are a few other stages in love down the road. If you're both that young, it might take you both a while to really get it, but trying to tell yourself "it's just infatuation" isn't going to help you out. Simply let it happen. Deep love is a bit clingy. Some people are in love with the idea of being in love. It's very intoxicating. It takes a lot of work, though. It opens you up to get pretty messed up.

Pretty funny for a guy to proclaim his love for you and be the one to break up, though. I've had feelings like that, before, however. I came to love my girlfriend more like a little sister, because I had a hard time respecting her insecurities and some of her very rudimentary ideas, and she couldn't handle being open about a lot of it.

Vgfian · 09-16-2010, 03:05 AM

Sorry about the breakup.
Dude sounds clingy because of a misunderstanding about love caused by immaturity.
Anyway, sorry.

***Cosmonautical*** · 09-16-2010, 06:33 AM

Yeah, I'd suggest trying to date guys a bit older. They'll hopefully have a better idea of what the hell they're doing. If you're too young to get in the mid-20s or older range, just wait and see if anything interesting comes along until you're not anymore. Got your whole life to be satisfied and confident, a little while longer in the field probably won't hurt.

(sorry young dudes, I know it's hard to get with the womenz enough as is)

09-15-2010, 02:15 PM	#1
Sonic 5 Member Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: Bamamama Gender: Posts: 2,159 Thanks: 13 Thanked 7 Times in 7 Posts	My boyfriend has already said he loves me. We've only been dating for two weeks. I've tried to convince him that it's not love, it's just infatuation/a side effect of being in a new relationship, but he's just like, "NOPE." Should I try to just ignore it for now or keep trying to convince him that he doesn't love me yet? OR, should I take this as a major red flag and run for the hills while I still have the chance?

09-15-2010, 07:19 PM	#5
Sonic 5 Member Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: Bamamama Gender: Posts: 2,159 Thanks: 13 Thanked 7 Times in 7 Posts	He said that he can't picture himself without me and that I make him happy. Is that clingy? He gets all "" if I don't text him every few minutes.

09-15-2010, 02:34 PM	#2
Bomby You just freaking blew Joe Biden's mind! Join Date: Jun 2000 Location: WHAT?house Gender: Posts: 19,491 Thanks: 513 Thanked 1,449 Times in 849 Posts Blog Entries: 5	If he's over the age of 20, head for the hills. If he's under the age of 20, immaturity. Give or take a few years. Maturity isn't a set-in-stone thing. Also factor in how long he knew you before you guys started dating.

09-15-2010, 06:44 PM	#4
Bomby You just freaking blew Joe Biden's mind! Join Date: Jun 2000 Location: WHAT?house Gender: Posts: 19,491 Thanks: 513 Thanked 1,449 Times in 849 Posts Blog Entries: 5	That is a bit of a short time to say he's "in love" with you, but it could just be immaturity. It's really something where you have to factor in his entire personality; ie, how seriously he treats the overall relationship. Some people might take the terminology of being "in love" less seriously than others. To some people, it represents a sacred bond that should never be broken. To other people (myself included), it's just a chemical reaction in the brain that basically causes an attraction to another person that's more emotionally involving than other attractions. How "emotionally involving" it is varies from situation to situation, obviously. So when he says he's "in love" with you, he might just be describing a harmless emotion he's feeling with you at the time, or he might be dead serious about it. Also, I'm probably not the best person to take advice from when it comes to situations like this, given my general ineptness with romantic relationships.

09-15-2010, 07:44 PM	#6
S1x VGF RPG Mod Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Loading...... Gender: Posts: 7,289 Thanks: 26 Thanked 493 Times in 201 Posts Blog Entries: 1	Every few minutes? I would clearly think there's an attachment issue if somebody did that to me every hour.

09-15-2010, 07:51 PM	#7
Sonic 5 Member Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: Bamamama Gender: Posts: 2,159 Thanks: 13 Thanked 7 Times in 7 Posts	Now we're arguing because I fell asleep earlier after getting home. I sent him a text, fell asleep, woke up three hours later, no reply, and thought nothing of it. About an hour after that, he's mad, texting me like, "If I don't reply within an hour, that means my message failed, and you should text me again," and he's legitimately pissed off about this. Ugh.

09-15-2010, 08:01 PM	#8
Bomby You just freaking blew Joe Biden's mind! Join Date: Jun 2000 Location: WHAT?house Gender: Posts: 19,491 Thanks: 513 Thanked 1,449 Times in 849 Posts Blog Entries: 5	My judgement tells me that this is something to worry about.

09-15-2010, 08:10 PM	#9
Sonic 5 Member Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: Bamamama Gender: Posts: 2,159 Thanks: 13 Thanked 7 Times in 7 Posts	He's, self-admittedly, very insecure. He's a nice guy, though he claims the only reason his past relationships failed was either because the girl messed up or because of extenuating circumstances. He really is a nice guy though, and I like him a lot, so I don't know if this is just something I should overlook or try to deal with.

09-15-2010, 08:20 PM	#10
S1x VGF RPG Mod Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Loading...... Gender: Posts: 7,289 Thanks: 26 Thanked 493 Times in 201 Posts Blog Entries: 1	Without trust it will not end well.

09-15-2010, 08:55 PM	#11
Sonic 5 Member Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: Bamamama Gender: Posts: 2,159 Thanks: 13 Thanked 7 Times in 7 Posts	...and he just broke up with me because he said I was being a friend, not a girlfriend, and that being my boyfriend was stressing him out. -__- At least that's one less thing I have to deal with now.

09-15-2010, 10:24 PM	#12
*CaptHayfever* Smash SuperMod Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: (n) - the place where I am Gender: Posts: 27,659 Thanks: 1,991 Thanked 2,486 Times in 1,513 Posts	Weird day, huh? And remember, "I'm-a Luigi, number one!"

09-15-2010, 10:27 PM	#13
User Name Senior Member Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: Gotham City Gender: Posts: 7,209 Thanks: 701 Thanked 536 Times in 367 Posts	hahaha. I guess that solves that problem. I hope things work out. Guys like that can turn into really great friends after they realize a relationship won't work.

09-16-2010, 12:06 AM	#14
Dizzy Podiaphobe Join Date: Oct 2007 Gender: Posts: 19,359 Thanks: 1,764 Thanked 1,161 Times in 804 Posts Blog Entries: 116	I have a feeling we'll be seeing this guy on the news sometime.

09-16-2010, 01:18 AM	#15
*Cosmonautical* Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: I rub my tilde all over your asterisk Gender: Posts: 28,100 Thanks: 2,151 Thanked 5,338 Times in 2,433 Posts	There's no problem needing to be close to one another if you're happy being close, but that's usually something you slide into over time. I know you broke up, but for futurish advice, try not to make a big deal out of words. They're just words. If he wants to use it, he wants to use it. Maybe he'll find out there are a few other stages in love down the road. If you're both that young, it might take you both a while to really get it, but trying to tell yourself "it's just infatuation" isn't going to help you out. Simply let it happen. Deep love is a bit clingy. Some people are in love with the idea of being in love. It's very intoxicating. It takes a lot of work, though. It opens you up to get pretty messed up. Pretty funny for a guy to proclaim his love for you and be the one to break up, though. I've had feelings like that, before, however. I came to love my girlfriend more like a little sister, because I had a hard time respecting her insecurities and some of her very rudimentary ideas, and she couldn't handle being open about a lot of it.

09-16-2010, 03:05 AM	#16
Vgfian Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: Listening to Seeking 7 Seven and giving out free hugs. :) Gender: Posts: 6,862 Thanks: 2,433 Thanked 398 Times in 311 Posts	Sorry about the breakup. Dude sounds clingy because of a misunderstanding about love caused by immaturity. Anyway, sorry.

09-16-2010, 06:33 AM	#17
*Cosmonautical* Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: I rub my tilde all over your asterisk Gender: Posts: 28,100 Thanks: 2,151 Thanked 5,338 Times in 2,433 Posts	Yeah, I'd suggest trying to date guys a bit older. They'll hopefully have a better idea of what the hell they're doing. If you're too young to get in the mid-20s or older range, just wait and see if anything interesting comes along until you're not anymore. Got your whole life to be satisfied and confident, a little while longer in the field probably won't hurt. (sorry young dudes, I know it's hard to get with the womenz enough as is)