Time to consult the Sages

**NintendoNut** · 11-08-2010, 12:58 PM

Greetings esteemed relationship guides,

I won't bore you with the basic details of my situation. To cut an otherwise long post short, there is a girl at university who I quite like and have been waiting to ask out for a couple of weeks now. The times that we see each other are very limited, currently it's down at about three hours per week (she's in none of my classes as she's a first year, I'm a second year), but even in the precious little time we have spent with each other, I've felt a real bond between us, we very much share common interests (she is a gamer, after all).

My issue that I pose to you is as such: I want to ask her out, but the only times we're together are during gatherings with about 6-7 other people from our classes. It means I get to spend no time alone with her and therefore no clear moment to ask the question. Should I force the issue and, in the middle of this gathering with other people, ask if she has a moment for a word, or would that make things a bit awkward? The last thing I want to do is alienate her or make her feel weird, so if this is a bad option then I shall not go for it. The only issue there is that I'd have to wait an indefinite amount of time before luck says that I get to speak to her alone.

What say you?

***CaptHayfever*** · 11-08-2010, 02:41 PM

Maybe you could try calling her? Or offer to walk her home from one of those gatherings & ask then?

And remember, "I'm-a Luigi, number one!"

**Valigarmander** · 11-08-2010, 05:54 PM

How far away does she live?

**NintendoNut** · 11-08-2010, 06:41 PM

From the uni where we all meet up, she lives about 40-60 minutes away and takes the bus home.

I have sent her a couple of texts, but had no replies. Besides, I'm fairly adamant on doing it in person, else I might just look like a bit of a coward.

EDIT: I should say that I don't think men who ask women out via phone (text or call) are cowards. I'm just conscious that in this case, she might not view the phone approach too highly.

***Saria Dragon of the Rain Wilds*** · 11-09-2010, 08:50 AM

Awwww yay my little bro's getting all grown up~

So anyways, you can definitely ask her aside during one of these gatherings. You don't need to be all Super Serious Man about it, it can be light or playful, just asking her to come with you and lead her away from the group. If there's anywhere in particular you can take her that's nearby (like a garden or some crap), you can tell her there's something you'd like to show her, then ask her when you're there. You could put a different spin on that, too, like handing her a small card which tells her where you would like to meet in five minutes. Even if that's just in the next room or out in the hall, that's cool.

You could also go for something different and super cute, like giving her a small gift (first thing that comes to mind is like a videogame themed pack of trading cards or something [we've got some Mario Kart ones here at K-Mart *shrug*]). However, tamper with it first, and slide a note asking her on a date inside the pack, sealing it up with some tape, then get her to open it when you hand it to her. When she reads the note, you can ask her out loud.

Or write "Do you want to see a movie with me?", or whatever you want to do for your first date, on your palm and make sure you get to sit/stand next to her, give her something innocuous, and keep your hand open in front of her to read. Then grin.

Maybe you should ignore my suggestions and just go ahead and ask her aside plain and simple. Good luck to you! <3

Pyropunk · 11-09-2010, 12:06 PM

Ask her out for some grub or coffee or tea afterwards maybe? I also like the idea of asking her away during the group

You can always offer to walk her to the bus stop and wait til it comes or something like that.. But I think you can ace it

Just be yourself!

***Cosmonautical*** · 11-10-2010, 12:05 AM

DOOMED TO FAIL DON'T EVEN TRY

Vgfian · 11-10-2010, 12:13 AM

Everything SD says. And ignore AI.

***Cosmonautical*** · 11-10-2010, 12:58 AM

IGNORE YOURSELF

Vgfian · 11-10-2010, 01:28 AM

You know what? No, don't ignore everything AI says, that last bit was okay. Try and be a bit selfless for her. Ignore costs a bit, or at least don't pay them as much heed. And be willing to sacrifice. Ignore yourself a bit and focus more on her as well. ^-^ That would be cool.

THANKS, AI!

Now attempt to ignore everything AI says. ^_^

Rainbow Dash · 11-10-2010, 02:18 AM

ai is just bitter his relationships don't work out

***Cosmonautical*** · 11-10-2010, 06:40 AM

hey guys guild is the coolest

oh wait guess you'll just have to ignore this

***CaptHayfever*** · 11-10-2010, 04:16 PM

We'll have to ignore it; Guild isn't here.

Pyro expanded nicely on what I had; thank you!

And remember, "I'm-a Luigi, number one!"

Rainbow Dash · 11-10-2010, 05:55 PM

ai me and you can be ignored bros

Vgfian · 11-10-2010, 07:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Culmination of Horrible

hey guys guild is the coolest

oh wait guess you'll just have to ignore this

Quote:

Originally Posted by *Bryan

Now attempt to ignore everything AI says. ^_^

Attempting to and having to are quite different things, my friend.

***Cosmonautical*** · 11-10-2010, 11:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chunky Kong12345

ai me and you can be ignored bros

im cool wi/ that

**NintendoNut** · 11-12-2010, 06:35 PM

I've been ignoring everything AI's said for about 7 years, I'm not about to stop now.

Update: I didn't see her on Tuesday, so I have to pin my hopes on next Tuesday instead. This is starting to become a very long wait.

**NintendoNut** · 11-16-2010, 05:40 PM

Alright so I did get to spend some time with her tonight among the group, we all went to a nice pub/restaurant for dinner. But before I could ask her the question I overheard her saying that she was dating another guy. Go me.

Rainbow Dash · 11-16-2010, 06:04 PM

stay friends and hope for the best

11-08-2010, 12:58 PM	#1
NintendoNut PC Games and Tech Mod Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: Hold on, I know this..... Gender: Posts: 8,655 Thanks: 108 Thanked 85 Times in 56 Posts	Time to consult the Sages Greetings esteemed relationship guides, I won't bore you with the basic details of my situation. To cut an otherwise long post short, there is a girl at university who I quite like and have been waiting to ask out for a couple of weeks now. The times that we see each other are very limited, currently it's down at about three hours per week (she's in none of my classes as she's a first year, I'm a second year), but even in the precious little time we have spent with each other, I've felt a real bond between us, we very much share common interests (she is a gamer, after all). My issue that I pose to you is as such: I want to ask her out, but the only times we're together are during gatherings with about 6-7 other people from our classes. It means I get to spend no time alone with her and therefore no clear moment to ask the question. Should I force the issue and, in the middle of this gathering with other people, ask if she has a moment for a word, or would that make things a bit awkward? The last thing I want to do is alienate her or make her feel weird, so if this is a bad option then I shall not go for it. The only issue there is that I'd have to wait an indefinite amount of time before luck says that I get to speak to her alone. What say you?

11-08-2010, 06:41 PM	#4
NintendoNut PC Games and Tech Mod Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: Hold on, I know this..... Gender: Posts: 8,655 Thanks: 108 Thanked 85 Times in 56 Posts	From the uni where we all meet up, she lives about 40-60 minutes away and takes the bus home. I have sent her a couple of texts, but had no replies. Besides, I'm fairly adamant on doing it in person, else I might just look like a bit of a coward. EDIT: I should say that I don't think men who ask women out via phone (text or call) are cowards. I'm just conscious that in this case, she might not view the phone approach too highly. Last edited by NintendoNut; 11-08-2010 at 06:51 PM.

11-10-2010, 12:05 AM	#7
*Cosmonautical* Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: I rub my tilde all over your asterisk Gender: Posts: 28,100 Thanks: 2,151 Thanked 5,338 Times in 2,433 Posts	this is good advice DOOMED TO FAIL DON'T EVEN TRY

11-08-2010, 02:41 PM	#2
*CaptHayfever* Smash SuperMod Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: (n) - the place where I am Gender: Posts: 27,659 Thanks: 1,991 Thanked 2,486 Times in 1,513 Posts	Maybe you could try calling her? Or offer to walk her home from one of those gatherings & ask then? And remember, "I'm-a Luigi, number one!"

11-08-2010, 05:54 PM	#3
Valigarmander The Bee's Knees Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: The land of rain and trees (Oregon) Gender: Posts: 29,755 Thanks: 1,649 Thanked 5,700 Times in 2,580 Posts Blog Entries: 20	How far away does she live?

11-09-2010, 08:50 AM	#5
*Saria Dragon of the Rain Wilds* Admin "mine.. not yours. NO. MINE." Epic Ladynerd Join Date: Jul 2000 Location: Forteresse de Valois Gender: Posts: 28,504 Thanks: 1,658 Thanked 1,820 Times in 1,042 Posts	Awwww yay my little bro's getting all grown up~ So anyways, you can definitely ask her aside during one of these gatherings. You don't need to be all Super Serious Man about it, it can be light or playful, just asking her to come with you and lead her away from the group. If there's anywhere in particular you can take her that's nearby (like a garden or some crap), you can tell her there's something you'd like to show her, then ask her when you're there. You could put a different spin on that, too, like handing her a small card which tells her where you would like to meet in five minutes. Even if that's just in the next room or out in the hall, that's cool. You could also go for something different and super cute, like giving her a small gift (first thing that comes to mind is like a videogame themed pack of trading cards or something [we've got some Mario Kart ones here at K-Mart shrug]). However, tamper with it first, and slide a note asking her on a date inside the pack, sealing it up with some tape, then get her to open it when you hand it to her. When she reads the note, you can ask her out loud. Or write "Do you want to see a movie with me?", or whatever you want to do for your first date, on your palm and make sure you get to sit/stand next to her, give her something innocuous, and keep your hand open in front of her to read. Then grin. Maybe you should ignore my suggestions and just go ahead and ask her aside plain and simple. Good luck to you! <3

11-09-2010, 12:06 PM	#6
Pyropunk Junior Member Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: Orlando, FL Gender: Posts: 367 Thanks: 139 Thanked 26 Times in 25 Posts	Ask her out for some grub or coffee or tea afterwards maybe? I also like the idea of asking her away during the group You can always offer to walk her to the bus stop and wait til it comes or something like that.. But I think you can ace it Just be yourself!

11-10-2010, 12:13 AM	#8
Vgfian Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: Listening to Seeking 7 Seven and giving out free hugs. :) Gender: Posts: 6,862 Thanks: 2,433 Thanked 398 Times in 311 Posts	Everything SD says. And ignore AI.

11-10-2010, 12:58 AM	#9
*Cosmonautical* Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: I rub my tilde all over your asterisk Gender: Posts: 28,100 Thanks: 2,151 Thanked 5,338 Times in 2,433 Posts	IGNORE YOURSELF

11-10-2010, 01:28 AM	#10
Vgfian Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: Listening to Seeking 7 Seven and giving out free hugs. :) Gender: Posts: 6,862 Thanks: 2,433 Thanked 398 Times in 311 Posts	You know what? No, don't ignore everything AI says, that last bit was okay. Try and be a bit selfless for her. Ignore costs a bit, or at least don't pay them as much heed. And be willing to sacrifice. Ignore yourself a bit and focus more on her as well. ^-^ That would be cool. THANKS, AI! Now attempt to ignore everything AI says. ^_^

11-10-2010, 02:18 AM	#11
Rainbow Dash been dreamin', i've been waitin' Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: a bomb-ass cloud house bachelorette pad Gender: Posts: 24,401 Thanks: 173 Thanked 1,179 Times in 716 Posts	ai is just bitter his relationships don't work out

11-10-2010, 06:40 AM	#12
*Cosmonautical* Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: I rub my tilde all over your asterisk Gender: Posts: 28,100 Thanks: 2,151 Thanked 5,338 Times in 2,433 Posts	hey guys guild is the coolest oh wait guess you'll just have to ignore this

11-10-2010, 04:16 PM	#13
*CaptHayfever* Smash SuperMod Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: (n) - the place where I am Gender: Posts: 27,659 Thanks: 1,991 Thanked 2,486 Times in 1,513 Posts	We'll have to ignore it; Guild isn't here. Pyro expanded nicely on what I had; thank you! And remember, "I'm-a Luigi, number one!"

11-10-2010, 05:55 PM	#14
Rainbow Dash been dreamin', i've been waitin' Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: a bomb-ass cloud house bachelorette pad Gender: Posts: 24,401 Thanks: 173 Thanked 1,179 Times in 716 Posts	ai me and you can be ignored bros

11-12-2010, 06:35 PM	#17
NintendoNut PC Games and Tech Mod Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: Hold on, I know this..... Gender: Posts: 8,655 Thanks: 108 Thanked 85 Times in 56 Posts	I've been ignoring everything AI's said for about 7 years, I'm not about to stop now. Update: I didn't see her on Tuesday, so I have to pin my hopes on next Tuesday instead. This is starting to become a very long wait.

11-16-2010, 05:40 PM	#18
NintendoNut PC Games and Tech Mod Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: Hold on, I know this..... Gender: Posts: 8,655 Thanks: 108 Thanked 85 Times in 56 Posts	Alright so I did get to spend some time with her tonight among the group, we all went to a nice pub/restaurant for dinner. But before I could ask her the question I overheard her saying that she was dating another guy. Go me.

11-16-2010, 06:04 PM	#19
Rainbow Dash been dreamin', i've been waitin' Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: a bomb-ass cloud house bachelorette pad Gender: Posts: 24,401 Thanks: 173 Thanked 1,179 Times in 716 Posts	stay friends and hope for the best