Okay sooo...

[Bomby]

I caught my 16 year old adopted daughter with condoms. What do I tell her?

[DELICIOUS POISON]

Wow. Well, I would talk to her about how it's important to use protection, and that she's at least taken that first step. It really depends on your feelings on the subject, and you should make yourself clear on your opinion. Don't insult her, even children deserve respect.

[Demonicus Prime]

Did you say anything to her yet, or are you asking us first? That might kinda change things if someone convinces you to change opinions.

[Sampson1986]

Originally posted by Malik:
I caught my 16 year old adopted daughter with condoms. What do I tell her?

Adopted daughter? I thought you were only 18...

Warn her that even wearing a condom, there is still a chance that you can get pregnant and catch an STD.

[Viceroy Nute Gunray]

Is she hot? Do you give me permission to date her?

[DJ Ryan]

This is hypothetical right?

[Demonicus Prime]

Oh, yeah, ummm....How old are you? Seems irrelevant, yet not.....

[Princess Zelda of Hyrule]

Sixteen-year-olds are very easily manipulated. It's likely your daughter's partner has promised her "everything she ever wanted" and will just as quickly leave her pregnant and alone. Find out who the guy is. Then, especially if he's significantly older than she is, tell him to get the heck away from her.

It's little use sitting her down for a talk about feelings, because, as we all know, whatever parents say is meaningless to teenagers. You just have to act.

[ December 14, 2005, 03:20 PM: Message edited by: Princess Zelda of Hyrule ]

[Toad556]

.........Malik, you're still in highschool aren't you?

[Legion]

I'll be the first to admit I'm hardly an expert on the subject, but here's my two cents.

Best thing to do is to make sure she knows about protection and precuations and what not. Deal with it calmly. Don't fly off the handle obviously. Doesn't help at all.

If she knows how to use protection; if she uses protection, there's much less chance of her being hurt by all this. Knowing the facts is much, MUCH more effective than simply preaching abstinence.

Find out who the guy is, yeah, but don't come at the subject too strongly otherwise you'll just scare them. There's nothing wrong with relationships at that age, as long as they're careful.

Basically, the general rule is to make sure they know what they're doing, and know how to protect themselves. If they know that, if they put it into practise, then no worries. You definitely don't want to go into 'paranoid parent nutter' mode. Because that's about the most ridiculous, unhelpful thing you can do.

And yeah. That's basically the advice I'd give to anyone in that situation.

[DJ Ryan]

Originally posted by Princess Zelda of Hyrule:
Sixteen-year-olds are very easily manipulated. It's likely your daughter's partner has promised her "everything she ever wanted" and will just as quickly leave her pregnant and alone. Find out who the guy is. Then, especially if he's significantly older than she is, tell him to get the heck away from her.

It's little use sitting her down for a talk about feelings, because, as we all know, whatever parents say is meaningless to teenagers. You just have to act.

You speak as if we are all ignorant and one-minded.

Yeah, there are some guys out there who say that ****, but ask just about any teenage girl that I associate myself around, or just goes to school with me. Just about everyone of them would call the man's bluff if he ever thought about that bull. Give teens more credit, we aren't completely stupid, as a matter of fact there isn't much difference between us and someone in their low 20s except for the fact that 90% ain't livin with their momma/dad. Condoms are there for a reason, I'm not encouraging for teens to run around ****in every guy/girl, whatever your preference is, just because there are condoms, and your chance of pregnancy/VDs are decreased. I'm saying that they can make their own decisions, and jumping on them like a mad/wo/man isn't going to help.

[Princess Zelda of Hyrule]

I was sixteen years old once. Yes, sixteen-year-olds are impressionable. I fell in my first love at sixteen - and I don't mean crush, but a love that changed the world for me - you know how that is. I'm eighteen now, and I'm STILL trying to get my thoughts back in order. We teenagers aren't kids anymore, but we're certainly not adults. We're still learning who we are...which is a fine time to give it all up for the opposite sex.

If I were about to let some guy hypnotize me out of my principles and senses, I would need to be told. I don't know if screaming and beating would be the best way. But if my parents just gave me condoms and birth control pills and told me to be responsible, I'd only feel more comfortable with my decision - "Oh, they even manufacture things for this process, so it must be totally normal and safe! Okay!" But just because a sex partner probably won't make me pregnant or sick doesn't mean I'm not selling my youth to him. Once you lose your virginity, you can NEVER get it back.

[ December 15, 2005, 02:57 PM: Message edited by: Princess Zelda of Hyrule ]

[Bomby]

I see you haven't changed a bit, PZoH.

To answer your questions, yes, I'm still in High School. Yes, I'm only 18. I can't tell you whether she's hot or not. I dunno, she's a little overweight but she's not ugly. All I said when I caught her with condoms is "You're grounded." Her boyfriend is 24(!). No, this is not a hypothetical situation.

Really, it isn't?

My "daughter" is a younger student I "adopted." There is no doubt in my mind that I will be a "grandpa" by the age of 21. She even said so herself.

So why did I post this?

To start up a discussion. Treat it as a hypothetical situation if you will. But it brings up an important topic: how to talk to teens about sex, specifically your own children.

[DJ Ryan]

Good to see you active again PZoH, and after this response, I'll gladly take this to the PP&R forum with you, always fun to debate with ya.

Originally posted by Princess Zelda of Hyrule:

If I were about to let some guy hypnotize me out of my principles and senses, I would need to be told.

You shouldn't, and again, 90% of girls WONT, it's not so much about pressure to do it as it is their own will, when they don't want to do it, I believe that's when rape occurs. OR, when they're just plain pressured, they're often weakminded and can't think for themselves, something that parents can fix most of the time.

Originally posted by Princess Zelda of Hyrule:
I don't know if screaming and beating would be the best way. But if my parents just gave me condoms and birth control pills and told me to be responsible, I'd only feel more comfortable with my decision -

I wouldn't just give the child condoms and birth control pills, if that's what I said, then I completely take that back, I would tell them about condoms, I would tell them about those things. I can't stay glued to my child 24-7, I have to trust that s/he makes that decision on their own, and SHOULD they decide to have sex, I would definetly trust that they used protection.

Originally posted by Princess Zelda of Hyrule:
"Oh, they even manufacture things for this process, so it must be totally normal and safe! Okay!" But just because a sex partner probably won't make me pregnant or sick doesn't mean I'm not selling my youth to him.

What else are they going to do? Sit back adn let everyone get pregnant, I understand that when you make a decision, accept the consequences, but if it's THERE, and you are going to MAKE that decision, then USE them, that's what they're there for. And I don't know what you're thinking about, but I never "stole" my ex's youth, we only split cause we couldn't handle a 300+ mile relationship, especially at the age we were.

Originally posted by Princess Zelda of Hyrule:
"Once you lose your virginity, you can NEVER get it back.

Is this an outside looking in view? Or is this from personal experience, cause I can tell you, if that's from personal experience, then we're feeling two seperate things. Not saying you get virginity back, but that it's basically, when you narrow it down, a true theory. It's somethin you can't touch or feel, but you can say you have, and when it's gone, you really don't care.